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- >"Well, this turned out to be a shitty trip"
- >"Let's go camping on the moors, Anon!" you say loudly to yourself in mocking tones. "What could possibly go wrong! It'll be an adventure!"
- >It started out well enough. You hiked your fat arses off all day, then made camp in the shade of an enormous oak tree.
- >Had a crude meal, a few cuppas, then went to bed.
- >When you woke up, it was on grass rather than canvas
- >He'd packed up and left you in behind
- >Everything was gone. Your wallet, your bag.
- >He'd even taken your tent.
- >And he TOOK. THE FUCKING. KETTLE.
- >So you just started walking, hoping to find a road or some kind of landmark.
- >And then smash your 'friend's head in.
- >But soon, you start to worry. You've no food, no water, no phone.
- >And the landscape seems to have changed since yesterday, what the hell?
- >Less mountainous, more light-hill. And colours seem brighter, sharper.
- >You briefly consider whether this is all just a dream. If it is, it's a bloody awful one.
- >It's been a good few hours now.
- >Worry has turned into near-terrified panic.
- >You're lost. Completely, utterly lost, and equally alone.
- >You're not going to lie, you're very close to bursting into tears. Fear of death and such.
- >Suddenly, you hear something
- >You perk up, straining your ears and turning your head this way and that
- >There it is! Voices, just around the bend!
- >"Thank god! Salvation!" you cry out.
- >You break into a run, eager to be found.
- >As you get closer, the voices become clearer. It doesn't sound like English though.
- >German, maybe?
- >So, they're tourists. Who cares, rescue is rescue.
- >"Hello, can you help me? I'm lost, and-"
- >As you turn the corner, you stop.
- >There's no one there. Just more hills, and trees.
- >Oh, and two small horses.
- >But no people
- >Where are the PEOPLE?!
- >"Hello?" you say again, louder this time. You turn in place, looking all around. "Where are you?! Help!"
- >You hear the voices again, much closer. You spin around.
- >Still just horses.
- >Maybe the voices you heard were just the wind.
- >At that thought, You can feel your eyes watering. This is it, then. You're going to die out here.
- >Alone
- >Well, there's those multicoloured horses, but they don't count.
- >...
- >...
- >"What?"
- >One of the horses is yellow with pink hair. And has wings
- >"What!"
- >The other one is purple with a dark, striped mane. And has a horn.
- >"BLOODY HELL, WHAT?!"
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