Three Kingdoms Maids - Session 2

[22:47] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> [Last time on Three Kingdoms Maids, our heroines fell afoul of the attacking Wu Army! Now they're stuck in a battle for their lives with Wu General Gan Ning! Whose kung-fu will be stronger? Let's find out!
[22:49] * [BNS]Gan_Ning leaps into the air, bringing his knives to bear as he leaps towards the girls!
[22:51] <HanShi> Let me test the skill of lord sun guan's vassal!
[22:54] * HanShi spins the heavy halberd, but somehow that tiny knife manages to misdirected her brutal assault! What the!
[22:54] <[Rut]HuaShi> W-wait, this is-- tch!
[22:54] * TsuoShi leaps forward, but trips and lands on her face.
[22:55] <HanShi> my pride as a heavy is hurt, there!
[22:55] * [Rut]HuaShi retreats out of range with sudden alacrity!
[22:55] * [BNS]Gan_Ning drives his knives into the ground, unleashing a shockwave that knocks the girls backward!
[22:55] * HanShi leap and levitates!
[22:55] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Come on! Is that all you got?!
[22:56] <HanShi> bleeh! Can't get me on the sky can'tcha?
[22:56] * [BNS]Gan_Ning jumps into the air and slashes at Han Shi!
[22:56] <HanShi> Wait, timeout!
[22:56] * [Rut]HuaShi grits her teeth. She doesn't have a weapon...
[23:01] * [BNS]Gan_Ning knocks Han Shi's weapon out of her hands with a particularly vicious slash, then follows through on the action with a kick to the gut that sends her plummeting back to the ground... all in mid-air.
[23:01] * [BNS]Gan_Ning then lands on the ground in a three-point stance
[23:01] * [Rut]HuaShi turns to run! Someone needs to warn the lord! But...
[23:02] * HanShi rolls like a sack of potatoes.
[23:03] <TsuoShi> Yikes!
[23:03] * TsuoShi pokes HanShi.
[23:03] <TsuoShi> You alive...?
[23:03] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> [Hua Shi suddenly finds her escape blocked off by a wall of Wu soldiers!]
[23:03] <[Rut]HuaShi> Y-you animals...
[23:04] * HanShi foams her mouth. Probably from the shock of getting owned in her own domain, the sky.
[23:04] * [Rut]HuaShi backs up tensely, still weaponless.
[23:04] * [BNS]Gan_Ning stands up and walks calmly over to the girls
[23:05] <TsuoShi> What're we gonna dooo?
[23:05] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Oh, come on! Don't tell me you're giving up already!
[23:06] <TsuoShi> Shut up! It's just that you're stupidly strong!
[23:06] <HanShi> I got owned by a knife... I got owned by a knife.......
[23:06] * [Rut]HuaShi clenches her fists and bites her lip. She tries to look bigger than she is.
[23:06] * HanShi murmurs in her sleep.
[23:06] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Hey! That's not /my/ fault! I'm not the one who was walking around outside the city like a bunch of fools! You're just lucky I'm a nice guy and not some bandit!
[23:07] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Now, if you'll not have any more complaints, let's get you girls tied up so we can take you prisoner and whatnot.
[23:07] <TsuoShi> Nice guy?
[23:07] <TsuoShi> Look what you did to her!
[23:08] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Hey, at least she put up more of a fight then the rest of you!
[23:08] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... S-so... is this what Wu stands for, then? You entrap three women with an army and do what you will...
[23:08] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Oh come on, we're not bandits. You're prisoners of war.
[23:08] <[Rut]HuaShi> You're lying. You're exactly like a bandit.
[23:09] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Once we get you back to the Lord, you'll probably end up traded back to Shu for one of our other captured officers or something. But that's not my job, it's my job to capture you.
[23:09] <HanShi> I'm gonna get raaaaaapedd!!
[23:10] <HanShi> Waaaaahhhhhh~!!
[23:10] * HanShi cries.
[23:10] <TsuoShi> Don't worry!
[23:10] <HanShi> I'm going to have a lot of guys doing this and that! So indecent! Waaaahh~!!
[23:11] <[Rut]HuaShi> Hah... you're wasting you're time. We're just his handmaidens.
[23:11] <TsuoShi> Anyone who tries to, will have to go through me first!
[23:11] * [Rut]HuaShi looks away. Damn it, Liu Bei really -would- make that trade, if another officer couldn't talk him out of it!
[23:12] * HanShi flaps her wing in a sorrowful manner
[23:14] <HanShi> They are looking at my torn clothing with perverted thoughts...!
[23:14] <HanShi> I'm getting raped by their looks waaaaaaaaahhh~!!
[23:14] * HanShi baww nonstop.
[23:16] * [BNS]Gan_Ning is suddenly stopped in his steps by a volley of arrows that swarm the area. A few of the Wu soldiers are stuck and fall where they stand, and the others blocking the escape route are suddenly sent flying by unseen attackers!
[23:17] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Huh? Who's there?!
[23:17] * Youshi rushes headstrong into battle knocking a one or two soldiers into the air!
[23:17] * [BNS]Gan_Ning peers through the trees to see a banner in the distance, located just outside the city gates. It reads "General Guan Yu of the Han"
[23:18] * LimShi stands a small distance off, readying her chu-no-ku for another volley.
[23:18] <TsuoShi> Eh?
[23:18] <TsuoShi> We're saved!
[23:19] * [BNS]Gan_Ning signals for the drums to be sounded and the Wu soldiers surge forward towards the enemy army!
[23:19] <HanShi> My virginity is already taken!
[23:19] * TsuoShi tries to drag HanShi out of the path of battle.
[23:19] <Youshi> Not on my watch!
[23:20] * HanShi is still busy lamenting about her lost...
[23:20] * Youshi beats another one down but she seems to be struggling for some reason.
[23:21] * [BNS]Guan_Yu suddenly comes rushing up on Red Hare, cutting a swath through the Wu lines as he rides towards the girls
[23:21] * [BNS]Gan_Ning laughs as he calls for his own horse and mounts
[23:22] * [BNS]Guan_Yu rides forth and points his Green Dragon saber at Gan Ning!
[23:23] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> Villain! What kind of mongrel are you that would attack helpless handmaidens!
[23:23] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Helpless my foot! You're just sore that we caught your foolish spies! If you want them back, come and claim them!
[23:23] <TsuoShi> That's what we said!
[23:24] <HanShi> Oh right. Berries.
[23:24] * HanShi just thought of that.
[23:24] * [BNS]Guan_Yu spurs Red Hare onwards, riding straight at Gan Ning!
[23:24] <HanShi> do we have them yet?
[23:24] <TsuoShi> It's not the time for that!
[23:24] * TsuoShi shakes HanShi
[23:24] * [BNS]Gan_Ning spurs his own horse as well, having retrieved a spear from one of the fallen Wu soldiers
[23:24] <Youshi> Spies~? We're not spies!
[23:24] <[Rut]HuaShi> ...!
[23:25] * Youshi takes out some more minions of Gan Ning.
[23:25] <HanShi> But the lord told us to-
[23:25] * [BNS]Gan_Ning spars with Guan Yu for some dozen passes, but quickly begins to lose ground against the fabled God of War!
[23:26] * HanShi see one bush of those just now.
[23:26] <[BNS]Gan_Ning> Your reputation is well-founded, o God of war! We will finish this battle another day!
[23:26] * [BNS]Gan_Ning turns his steed and retreats back to the Wu lines
[23:27] <Youshi> Tch...
[23:27] * [Rut]HuaShi drops to her knees, breathing a sigh of relief.
[23:27] * [BNS]Guan_Yu does not pursue the fleeing general, instead riding up to the girls
[23:28] <HanShi> Don't you ever come back, stupid pervert!
[23:28] * HanShi shake fist.
[23:28] * LimShi lowers her repeating crossbow a fraction, but still keeps it ready to fire.
[23:28] * Youshi picks up a rock and chucks at one of the last footmen.
[23:28] * [BNS]Guan_Yu looks down at the girls from atop his horse... he towers nearly 8 feet above your heads mounted.
[23:29] * HanShi does the same. Strangely satisfying.
[23:29] <HanShi> Ah...
[23:29] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> Are you ok? The Lord became worried after you did not return promptly.
[23:30] <TsuoShi> Uh, I think this one's got mental scars
[23:30] <HanShi> Th-thank you for your assistance, milord!
[23:30] * HanShi kneel!
[23:30] <TsuoShi> I'm fine. You can't kill what's already dead~
[23:30] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> If you are well, then we must withdraw back into the city quickly. Soon the main Wu army will arrive and the city will come under siege.
[23:30] <Youshi> They're fine if they're still in once piece..
[23:30] <LimShi> I am fine, lord.
[23:30] <TsuoShi> Yessir!
[23:31] * TsuoShi heads back toward the city.
[23:31] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> Hey! Stay with me!
[23:31] <HanShi> At once!
[23:31] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> It's dangerous out here!
[23:31] * LimShi stands beside(or rather, below) Guan Yu.
[23:31] * Youshi follows.
[23:31] <LimShi> Shall we withdraw?
[23:32] * [BNS]Guan_Yu lifts the injured Han Shi into the saddle behind him. The others will have to walk.
[23:32] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> Quickly now. Go.
[23:33] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> I will ensure we are not followed.
[23:33] * HanShi 's little angelic heart skips a beat. Doki!
[23:33] <HanShi> S... So manly...
[23:33] <[Rut]HuaShi> Y-yes, General!
[23:34] <LimShi> Understood.
[23:34] <Youshi> Please be careful general.
[23:34] * LimShi marches off.
[23:34] * [BNS]Guan_Yu pulls back on the reins, making Red Hare rear up and turn towards the incoming Wu lines, his beard flowing in the wind as he holds Green Dragon pointed in front of him
[23:35] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> [The Wu soldiers suddenly slow down, as if hesitant.]
[23:35] <HanShi> Even his beard is beautiful...
[23:35] <Youshi> Come everyone, we have to prepare.
[23:35] * HanShi 's eyes sparkles.
[23:35] * [BNS]Guan_Yu takes a deep breath, then bellows in a voice that echoes across the forest...
[23:35] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> WHO DARES CROSS THE PATH OF GUAN YU, GOD OF WAR?!
[23:36] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> [The Wu soldiers on the frontlines promptly drop their weapons and flee in the opposite direction
[23:36] * TsuoShi cheers.
[23:37] * [BNS]Guan_Yu turns back to the remaining girls
[23:37] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> What are you waiting for! Go! Now!
[23:38] * [BNS]Guan_Yu turns back as several cavalrymen start to bear down on the group
[23:38] * LimShi is already gone, as ordered.
[23:38] * [BNS]Guan_Yu raises Green Dragon and drops it in a blur of motion that fells two riders, then quickly brings it back across to strike down the third
[23:39] * TsuoShi books it.
[23:39] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> It is time to go. Lord Zhuge Liang's preparations should be almost ready.
[23:39] * [Rut]HuaShi runs back.
[23:40] <Han-Shi> aye~
[23:40] * [BNS]Guan_Yu turns and spurs Red Hare back toward the city, making sure to stay behind the group and watch their backs
[23:41] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang is standing near the city gate, with Xue Shi and Lau Shi standing next to him
[23:41] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang fans himself lightly with his feather fan
[23:42] <TsuoShi> Heeeey
[23:42] * TsuoShi waves
[23:42] * [BNS]Guan_Yu rides up with the rest of the girls safely recovered
[23:42] * LauShi looks at the returning group analytically, though she does return the wave.
[23:42] * [BNS]Guan_Yu nods curtly to Zhuge Liang
[23:42] <[BNS]Guan_Yu> It is done, Directing Instructor. The Wu forces will arrive shortly.
[23:43] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Then it is time to begin our counter-measures.
[23:43] <[par]Xue_shi> "Disaster saw turabout.  I am delighted at this.  Are our comrads harmed?"
[23:43] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang turns to the girls and addresses them directly
[23:44] * LimShi faces Zhuge.
[23:44] <TsuoShi> I'm fine!
[23:44] <Youshi> We're mostly fine...
[23:44] * [Rut]HuaShi immediately stands at attention.
[23:44] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> I understand that you have been through much, but you are still needed. Please take your places upon the city wall.
[23:44] <LimShi> Understood.
[23:44] * [Rut]HuaShi looks left to right.
[23:44] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... Us.
[23:45] * LimShi follows her orders, disciplined.
[23:45] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... Y-you mean us.
[23:45] * TsuoShi nods and rushes off to some position, possibly hers.
[23:45] * LauShi nods, taking a look into the distance outside the gate before moving to take her position.
[23:45] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang turns to a nearby soldier dressed in lieutenant's robes and whispers a set of instructions to him. The soldiers nods in response, then runs to the soldiers stationed outside the city.
[23:46] <Han-Shi> Master zhuge liang!
[23:46] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang orders the gates closed
[23:46] <Han-Shi> I have a question!
[23:46] * Han-Shi hands up.
[23:46] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang turns to Han Shi
[23:46] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> ...yes?
[23:46] <Han-Shi> Um....
[23:46] <Han-Shi> "C... can love bloom on the battlefield?"
[23:46] * Han-Shi blushes.
[23:47] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Hrm... perhaps. But such philosophy must wait until after the time for battle has passed.
[23:48] <Han-Shi> Nothing of concern, master. I just want to ask, is all...
[23:48] * LimShi already stands tall atop the wall, holding her crossbow at the ready.
[23:48] * Han-Shi steal a glance at Guan Yu.
[23:48] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang climbs up to the wall next to Lim Shi and Hua Shi
[23:48] * LauShi twirls a few amulets in between her fingers, smiling at the prospect of an oncoming foe.
[23:48] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> You are both proficient with the bow, yes?
[23:49] * Han-Shi snaps out of it. Up the ramparts she goes!
[23:49] <[Rut]HuaShi> ...
[23:49] * [Rut]HuaShi looks the strategist in the eye. She knows she can't lie to him.
[23:50] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... Yes.
[23:50] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> [The remaining Shu soldiers outside the city withdraw into the gate as it closes. The Wu soldiers are not far behind, already taking up siege positions]
[23:50] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... Yes.
[23:50] * LimShi stands almost like a statue, already aiming and ready to fire.
[23:50] <[par]Xue_shi> "Will I be on mop up duty?"
[23:51] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Look to your right. See the bales of hay? I require you to hit those bales with your arrows.
[23:53] <[Rut]HuaShi> At once.
[23:55] * Han-Shi is idling at the wall.
[23:56] * Youshi closes her eyes, a bit of rests help.
[23:57] * [Rut]HuaShi gets in position and expertly nocks an arrow.
[23:58] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> [The Wu soldiers are now all in position. They are bringing up rams and siege ladders from the backlines.]
[23:58] * [Rut]HuaShi stares at her target for but a moment before drawing and releasing the shot in one smooth motion.
[23:58] <%HanShi> Uh... Master? What should I do?
[23:58] * HanShi is a little panicky now.
[23:59] * LimShi turns from the external enemy to the hay and fires a snap shot.
[23:59] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang is not paying attention as he watches the arrows fly towards the hay bales... and hit their mark!
[00:00] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> [The Hay Bales suddenly explode in a blaze of fire that quickly catches onto the surrounding trees... the wind is blowing strong and in a direction that will sweep the fire straight towards the gathered Wu soldiers!
[00:00] * LimShi turns to the commander.
[00:01] * [Rut]HuaShi watches it with a somber expression. It was as she expected.
[00:01] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Well done. The plan was successful. I will now understand if you do not wish to watch what comes next.
[00:02] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> In fact, I believe the Lord is still waiting for his tea. You /did/ remember to retrieve the berries, correct?
[00:02] * LimShi looks to the nearest handmaiden.
[00:02] * [Rut]HuaShi does not face Zhuge Liang directly as she speaks, still watching the flames.
[00:03] * LauShi observes the events closely, her smile brightening a bit.
[00:03] * TsuoShi skids back into the room.
[00:03] <TsuoShi> Reporting for duty!
[00:03] <%HanShi> ...
[00:03] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> [The flames are now bearing down on the Wu soldiers as they flee their positions outside the city, abandoning their siege equipment which begins to catch fire itself.]
[00:03] * LimShi locks on to TsuoShi.
[00:03] <[Rut]HuaShi> I have participated in this; to turn away because it is unsightly would make me a hypocrite.
[00:03] <LimShi> Tsuo Shi, did you retrieve berries?
[00:03] <%HanShi> ...i did see it, but Wu army terrorise the field and tok all of those!
[00:04] * HanShi blame the enemy!
[00:04] <TsuoShi> Yeah, uh, the whole army thing threw us off.
[00:04] * LimShi only faces a different direction due to this question of berries.
[00:04] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang responds to Hua Shi
[00:04] * LimShi doesn't respond and watches the fire.
[00:04] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Then that is good. We must always hold ourselves accountable for using the powers of heaven towards our own means.
[00:05] <[Rut]HuaShi> ...
[00:05] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Indeed, this use of fire will assuredly shorten my life.
[00:06] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> But I will do what I must to assist our Lord.
[00:06] * [Rut]HuaShi listens, thinking of the life she'd left behind her.
[00:06] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> [The Wu soldiers are now distant as the fire engulfs the forest.]
[00:06] <%HanShi> The berries are all toasted though. Maybe it might taste better?
[00:06] <[Rut]HuaShi> ... Yes, you are right. I should, too... Thank you.
[00:07] <TsuoShi> Look at it go!
[00:07] <Youshi> And burn huh?...
[00:07] * Youshi finally pays attention torwards the now smoldered sight.
[00:07] <TsuoShi> Fire's so pretty~
[00:07] <%HanShi> You think so?
[00:07] * HanShi frowns.
[00:07] <LauShi> Hm... I would have preferred to face them myself, but this is well.
[00:08] <LimShi> Better that they fall far from us, than endanger us.
[00:09] <TsuoShi> All those corpses...
[00:09] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> ...so. What about those berries? It will assuredly please our Lord to have his tea.
[00:09] <LauShi> Certainly so.
[00:10] [Han Shi and Hua Shi find that they actually managed to recover enough of the berries to satisfy the task at hand!]
[00:11] * [Rut]HuaShi smiles.
[00:11] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Come, let us see our Lord. He will want to know about the results of the battle, and your success in procuring the berries.
[00:11] <[Rut]HuaShi> Mm... yes, this should do. I hope his lordship understands the delay...
[00:11] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> I am sure he will.
[00:12] [In the court]
[00:12] * HanShi adds her share to the container.
[00:12] <TsuoShi> I'm glad we managed to finish it in the end~
[00:13] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang enters the court with the ladies in tow. He prostrates himself before Emperor Xian before turning to Liu Bei and bowing respectfully.
[00:13] * TsuoShi prostrates as well.
[00:13] * LimShi follows suit.
[00:14] * LauShi does the same, mechanically precise in her movements.
[00:14] <[BNS]Zhuge_Liang> Your Eminence. My Lord. I am pleased to report that the battle was successful and the Wu army has retreated on all fronts. This victory was through no small part of effort by General Guan Yu, as well as our handmaidens, who have their own accomplishment to report to the court.
[00:14] * [Rut]HuaShi does as well. Zhuge Liang couldn't help his humility, but he should not have to bow before the lowly handmaidens...
[00:15] * [BNS]Zhuge_Liang steps up and takes his place next to Liu Bei, leaving the floor open for the girls to speak
[00:15] * [BNS]Liu_Bei claps happily
[00:16] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Excellent. Most excellent!
[00:16] <%HanShi> We, uh.
[00:16] * [BNS]Liu_Bei listens intently as the girls step up
[00:16] <%HanShi> We have managed to gather enough berries for your use, milord.
[00:16] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Berries? Oh yes, berries! Most wonderful!
[00:16] <%HanShi> Th-that is all.
[00:16] <[Rut]HuaShi> We owe your brother our lives, my Lord. Oh, and your tea. Ehe...
[00:16] * [BNS]Liu_Bei claps again!
[00:17] * HanShi is not good with formal thingy.
[00:17] <TsuoShi> It was really hard!
[00:17] <TsuoShi> I hope it tastes good.
[00:17] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> Then let us begin the tea ceremony quickly! This is a joyous day, let us enjoy it!
[00:17] <TsuoShi> Hooray!
[00:17] <%HanShi> Yay!
[00:17] <%HanShi> Tea!
[00:17] * LimShi smiles.
[00:18] * [BNS]Liu_Bei quickly has the other maidens prepare the banquet table for everybody, as several of the generals arrive to share in the ceremony
[00:18] <%HanShi> As a victory banquet to eh?
[00:19] [The tea is brewed quickly, and the air is filled with the sweet smell of berries and brewed tea]
[00:19] <%HanShi> *too
[00:19] <LauShi> Yes, that is so. You cannot be unsatisfied with that, can you?
[00:19] * [BNS]Liu_Bei looks ecstatically pleased as he raises his tea in a toast
[00:20] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> To our brave warriors, who keep the Han safe and secure!
[00:20] [The room lets out a cheer!]
[00:21] <%HanShi> Tea~!
[00:21] * HanShi only cheers for a good tea party.
[00:21] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> To our wise and trusted Directing Instructor, Lord Zhuge Liang, who provides us with our strategies for victory!
[00:21] [The room lets out another cheer!]
[00:21] <TsuoShi> Yayifications!
[00:22] * Youshi claps.
[00:22] * LauShi raises her tea in time with each cheer.
[00:22] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> And to our fearless handmaidens, whom have provided us with the means for this most excellent tea!
[00:22] [A final cheer rises from the room!]
[00:22] * HanShi eyes Guan Yu from afar...
[00:22] <%HanShi> Lord Guan Yu.....
[00:22] * [Rut]HuaShi gawks. He didn't seriously just... no, yeah. He did. This is him, after all.
[00:23] * HanShi doki doki maiden in love.
[00:23] * [Rut]HuaShi sighs, turning red.
[00:23] * TsuoShi beams like an idiot.
[00:23] * [BNS]Liu_Bei drinks to the toast
[00:23] * LimShi maintains her discipline, but her smile grows more broad.
[00:24] * Youshi is almost as deadpan as someone here..
[00:25] * LauShi drinks her tea, still smiling.
[00:25] * TsuoShi eyes her tea.
[00:25] <TsuoShi> Yay! We helped!
[00:25] <%HanShi> We sure did!
[00:25] <[BNS]Liu_Bei> [And so, our heroines have saved the day! Wan Castle is safe from the forces of Wu, but for how long? Who will try to capture the hotly-contested city next? And will our heroines be able to rise to the challenge? Find out next time on Three Kingdoms Maids!]