4chan Hazbin Hotel story: shit the anons say

this is from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General Thread #143.
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Some funny scenes, convos, shit the anons say:

>the anons are chatting with Husk at the front desk/bar. Chanperor turns to Longarms
"So what makes you thin Putin will go to Heaven?"
>Longarms takes a sip, and then replies
"We already have Stalin down here. You think Heaven will let them get away with two OP Russians? They need to counterbalance that shit."
>Chanperor thinks for a moment
"Well, what about Gopnik? Doesn't he count?"
>the aforementioned speaks up
"Niet, because I don't plan on staying, blyat!"

***

>Angel Dust and Vaggie are having an argument (as usual), when this happens:
"I'm not a prostitute, Vaggie, I'm a sex worker!"
>Longarms, who was just passing by, and is halfway down the stairs, suddenly stops, and points at Angel between two columns of the railing
"Not unless you unionize, you fffffFFFFFFFFilthy scab!"
>he continues down the stairs, leaving behind a perplexed Vaggie and a shocked Angel Dust. After a moment, the spider speaks up, surprisingly calm and articulate:
"For some reason, I feel as though I've been offended in my office."
>Noiranon, who's walking past them, casually replies
"Because you were."

***

>Walking through the rubble left behind by the street riot, Charlie stumbles upon a curious scene:
>Angel Dust, dressed as the Joker (most recent film version), Vaggie, dressed as Subcommandante Marcos (even smoking a clay pipe through her balaclava as he did on recordings), and some of the anons, dressed like IRA members, all of them sitting around a large, wooden cable drum they're using as a table
>They notice Charlie, and before she could say anything, Angel Dust speaks up, doing his best Heath Ledger impression:
"We Live in a Society."
>momentarily taking a break from smoking, Vaggie adds:
"A Queer Society"
>One of the anons also speak up:
"But a society, nonetheless..."
-
>the anons are setting up Alastor's studio in the Hotel
>he decides to check if the mike is working
"Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3..."
>no one responds
>Alastor narrows his eyes, coughs, and takes a deep breath:
"Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twats!
Sixty-nine assholes tied in a nut!
Horraaay!
Lizardshit!
FUCK!"

>the entire room, and indeed, the entirety of that side of Hell, is now staring at him
"Oh, NOW it works!"
-
>Chanperor anon empties another bottle of pills into his mouth, and swallows, before following it with a shot of vodka
"You know, these pills taste a little weird."
>Bibleanon, momentarily wondering how the fuck he even knows what his pills taste like, and how he could distinguish them, picks up the bottle
"Uh, that's because they weren't painkillers.
>he shows him the box
"This is Viagra."
"Oh."
>they stare at each other
"...How much exactly have you been taking?"
"..."
"Well?
"This is my fifth bottle today."
"...Oh."
>slowly, both of them look down, before taking aback, shocked
"Holy fuck!"
"Good Heavens!"
>Dr. Mangle enters the scene
"Guten morgen, Herren. I zee zat ze breakfast iz--GOTT IM HIMMEL! WAS IST DAS?!"
>Chanperor, now slightly pale, replies:
"It's a monster."
>Bibleanon is concerned
"Well, whatever you do, don't set it off! I don't think any of us could--"
>before he could finish, Angel Dust steps into the room, and inhales to talk

>cue to the outside of the hotel, as all the windows go white, before shattering, coating the surrounding area in white
>Charlie, Vaggie and Longarms, arms full of groceries, stand at the very edge of the splooge's reach, wide-eyed
>finally, Longarms breaks the silence
"Niffty'll have a field day with that."