zog story

[21:00] <%Zog> but yeah this guy had like a weird sexual thing for me (at age 11 wat)
[21:00] <%Zog> lol
[21:00] <%Zog> but yeah like one of the most notable examples
[21:01] <%Zog> I was in the staff toilets
[21:01] <%Zog> like a boss
[21:01] <%Zog> having a pee in a urinal
[21:01] <%Zog> aged 11
02[21:01] * %Sixonesix (~Sixonesix@cranky.mankey.hanky.panky) Quit (Quit: -a- Android IRC 1.8.19 )
[21:01] <%Zog> the staff toilets were completely enclosed with no windows so the lights were on or it was pitch black btw
01[21:01] <~ryuzaki> lol
[21:02] <%Zog> and there was sort of a loop round where to door was (and it was a pull door with an indentation instead of a handle)
[21:02] <%Zog> so yeah there I am peeing in the urinal
[21:02] <%Zog> just zipping up after finishing
[21:02] <%Zog> and oh fuck it's james fuck
[21:02] <%Zog> james why are you walking up to me
[21:02] <%Zog> he's crouching like in a gollum position
[21:02] <%Zog> making fucking hissing noises like a snake
[21:03] <%Zog> moving his arms and edging closer
01[21:03] <~ryuzaki> ahahahaha
[21:03] <%Zog> JAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING
[21:03] <%Zog> SSSSSSS
[21:03] <%Zog> *zips up knob into trousers*
[21:03] <%Zog> JAMES
[21:03] <%Zog> SSSSSSSS
[21:03] <%Zog> SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[21:03] <%Zog> STOP IT JAMES
[21:03] <%Zog> I get my ruler out of my pocket
01[21:03] <~ryuzaki> i'm dying
[21:03] <%Zog> (foot long ruler it was a bendy one)
[21:04] <%Zog> *SWISH SWISH LIKE A SWORD IN FRONT OF HIM*
[21:04] <%Zog> SSSSSSSS
[21:04] <%Zog> BACK OFF!!!
[21:04] <%Zog> *SWISH HIT HIM ON THE HEAD*
[21:04] <%Zog> SSSSS!!!!!!
[21:04] <%Zog> *HE SWIPES AT ME WITH LIKE A TROLL ARM ATTACK*
[21:04] <%BlueCookies> [20:54]	Zog	there was once this scary wiccan chick who used to try to hump me in the schoolyard pretending to be a mating tortoise (fuck knows), she invited me to her party and all she did was splatter me with cream and it all got in my hair... that was a shit party
[21:04] <%BlueCookies> haha wtf
[21:04] <%Zog> *skip back to dodge*
[21:04] <%BlueCookies> and wtf is this spam
[21:04] <%Zog> *SWISH SWISH*
[21:04] <%Zog> SSSSSSSS
[21:04] <%Zog> he's backed me into a toilet stall!!! fuck
[21:04] <%Zog> SSSSSS
[21:05] <%Zog> there's nothing I can do
[21:05] <%Zog> except
[21:05] <%Zog> oh god there's a toilet brush
01[21:05] <~ryuzaki> maybe that should be my new sig quote actually
[21:05] <%Zog> COVERED IN SHIT
[21:05] <%BlueCookies> you have a sig???
[21:05] <%Zog> so I grabbed the shitty toilet brush
[21:05] <%Zog> waved it like a FLAMING TORCH
01[21:05] <~ryuzaki> rofl
[21:05] <%Zog> causing the demon to BACK OFF FROM ITS HOLY SHIT SMELL
[21:05] <%Zog> KKKCCKCKCKCKCKKC!!!!!!
01[21:06] <~ryuzaki> this is such a dramatic story
[21:06] <%Zog> he was actually making a weird shriek noise
[21:06] <%Zog> and covering his face
[21:06] <%Zog> so I fucking jabbed it in his face rofl
12[21:06] <%BlueCookies> my god zog stories are as bad as ryuzaki stories
03[21:06] * JibaDINNER is now known as Jibaku
[21:06] <%Zog> causing him to back off even more
[21:06] <%BlueCookies> afk again
[21:06] <%Zog> then I SMACKED HIM IN THE FACE
[21:06] <%BlueCookies> I'll be back when the story ends
[21:06] <%Zog> with SUCH FORCE HE ACTUALLY FELL OVER ON THE FLOOR
[21:06] <%BlueCookies> or zog goes to bed
[21:06] <%Zog> WITH SHIT ON HIS FACE
01[21:06] <~ryuzaki> ahahahsda;fladfl
[21:07] <%Zog> and I threw the toilet brush at his FACE ON THE FLOOR
03[21:07] * Snake-C (Mibbit@synIRC-81BD4B34.hsd1.wa.comcast.net) has joined #chickennuggetstupid
03[21:07] * ChanServ sets mode: +h Snake-C
[21:07] <%Zog> FLICKED THE LIGHTS OFF
[21:07] <%Zog> LEGGED IT THE FUCK OUTTA THERE
[21:07] <%Zog> AND LAUGHED MY BLOODY GUTS OUT
[21:07] <%Zog> I saw him the next day and he acted like nothing had happened rofl
01[21:07] <~ryuzaki> you didn't get in trouble??
[21:08] <%Zog> no
[21:08] <%Zog> seriously though he was probably stuck in there for ages with shit on his face
[21:08] <%Zog> impossible to feel the way out and it was pitch black
[21:08] <%Zog> he'll have been in there until one of the teachers went in for a piss
[21:08] <%Zog> and they'll have found him
[21:08] <%Zog> nobody even found out about it
[21:08] <%Zog> I mean I told my friend right after because it was hilarious
[21:09] <%Zog> but that was it
[21:09] <%Zog> I love my life <3 ahaha
[21:09] <%Zog> but yeah as soon as I got out of the bathroom I was like
[21:09] <%Zog> yeah this is gonna be one of those stories that comes out over the years repeatedly
[21:09] <%Zog> I have quite a lot of those
01[21:09] <~ryuzaki> idk if i have a better story than that