Thread 103: Stories 46-60

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OOoC
>Spike
"DT"
'42'
[77]
~~~~
"I'm hungry. Let's go out to eat."

>Or I could order us something in the castle and they'll make it.

"Nah, I want to go out."

>...Where do you want to go to eat then?

"I Don't Care."

>Okay, want to join us?

'Sure'

[Why Not.]

>Alright. Let's go to Burger Queen and-

"Eh, I'm not up for Burger Queen."

>Fine then where do you want to go?

"I Don't Care."

>How about you, 42?

'Whatever is Fine.'

>77, would you be up for Soup?

[No...Why Not.]

>I guess...we're having soup.

"I don't want soup."

>You're the one who invited us. Where do you want to eat?

"I Don't Care."

>*sighs* 42, where do you want to go?

'Whatever is Fine.'

>77, want to go for pizza?

[Fine...How About No, Pizzaria?]

>JUST PICK A PLACE ALREADY!

"I did!"

>WHAT IS IT!?

"I Don't Care!"

'WHATEVER IS FINE!'

[HOW ABOUT NO, PIZZARIA!]

>YOU GUYS ARE STARTING TO DRIVE ME-

[Really, I'd rather go to Why Not Donuts.]

"No we're going to the I Don't Care Restaurant."

'I want to try out Whatever is Fine Diner.'

"I've been there. Their food sucks. It's far from Fine."

'I Don't Care doesn't have good service.'

"Well, at least the food is better than Why Not Donuts."

[Excuse me for wanting simple donuts.]

As they continue arguing, Spike slowly brings Charity to his forehead.
>...
Then slowly puts it back down.
>I get it Celestia...I get it.

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Ooco

>Shiny
"Vekir"

>Okay, so this is just silly. You're about as big as Two and not exactly a towering intellect-no offense. I think you're punching above your weight class here-

CHOMP!

Bwoop!

>...

"..."

>...

"...your throat wasn't tasty."

>Gonna...gonna go just...get faaaaar away from you now.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and sometimes updates are made! Now for our main segment...Dreamhouse Pinkie!

"It feels weird to be back again, doesn't it?"

'Yeah it does. Don't miss the sexdolls though.'
DT looks at a small hole in the wall.
'...what's with the hole?'

>I added a glory hole!

'...what's a glory hole?'

"A glory hole is a...is a...what is a glory hole?"

>Why don't you open up your mouth and have a taste!

'...'
Looks to the hole.
'...'
Then back to Pinkie who's smiling.
'...'
Back to the hole.
'...'
She opens up her mouth close to the glory hole and a chocolate covered banana comes emerges. She takes a bite of it.
'...hm...pretty good.'

>It's a Chocolate Banana Glory Hole!

"Oh, let me try."
Puts her mouth over another hole and gets a mouthful of banana.
"Heys...it's delish."

>I'm glad you both like my glory holes then.

'Yeah, it's a great idea. *munches* You think of some neat stuff, Pinkie.'

>...I would not have been able to pull this off on my regular friends.

"What was that?"

>Nothing! Enjoy the banana!

"I will. My, this is a really big banana."

'Dang it, I'm getting chocolate all over my face.'

>...This is probably will probably be the reason why I end up in Tartarus...but at least I'll be laughing all the way there.
Life in the dreamhouse~

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 OOCO
>56
“Screwloose”
____

“Well, well, well, aren’t you just the cutest little ‘ling I ever did see!”

>Wow, serious ‘stranger danger’ alerts goin’ off in my head for some reason.

“Now lessee here, according to my notes, which one might you be? Still got the blonde mane, young, obviously male… you must be Fifty-Six!”

>The one an' only.

“Says here you liiiiike… posteriors, eh? Hmmm, what a naughty little passion for one so young! Tell me, what about rumps attract you to them? The feel, the texture, the jiggling, the size, who it’s attached to in general, the taste, the smell, the covering-”

>I, all of the above.

“And what catches your eye seconds before you faceplant a nice plot?”

Comically, Fifty-Six made a noise like a tape recorder rewinding.

>I, all of the above.

“I see, I see, and I assume that during your vast plot-plundering you’ve amassed a favorite, or set of favorite rears?”

>You’d ah-shume right, yeah.

“Whom do they belong to?”

>Night princess and apple princess.

“Ah. Well, I can understand that comple-”

>An’ not-mom has the best thighs.

“…”

>Nice an’ thick an’ warm, great for snuggling’.

“…Huh. And here I thought I was pretty perverted. Hoooo’kay. Last question for the moment, how would you rate my plot in terms of snuggability, thickness, and feel?”

>Yeeeeah, ya know, ‘bout that, uh… not-mom always used to tell me not to snuggle crazy an' I can quite clearly see that your tail is holdin’ some sorta blade there, a scalpel? Prob’ly. I like booty an’ all but yours is a bit too dangerous for me. Maybe next time!

And away the youngling trotted, leaving Screwloose looking utterly perplexed to find that her tail was indeed wielding a glistening scalpel.

“…Tail? How many times do I have to tell you not to do that? The whole 'start doing your own thing' that you do? Stop it, you keep scaring away potential subjects!”

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OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'Chrysalis'
~???~
~~~~

'BAD! BAD BAD BAD BAD BADDDD!'

>It ain't that bad.

"Four on the bad scale, at best."

'BADBADBADBADBADBADBADBAD-'

>She gonna keep doin' this?

"I fear she is."

'BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD-'

>Chrysalis?

'...'

>...We're JUST givin' him a bath.

SPALSH!

~GASSSP!... NOT-MOM HELP!~

"He smells like literal death."

~SHOOT THEM WITH YOUR LASERS!~

>And we ain't gonna stand it no more.

~BLOW IT ALL UP! BLOW IT ALL UP!~

'...He can just fwoosh clean.'

>No, he can't.

"Nothing can fwoosh this away."

~WITH MY LAST BREATH, I CURSE YOU!... That means something bad, right? Cuz is hard to follow sometimes.~

'...Just don't hold him under.'

>He keeps screamin'!

~WAIT WHAT!?~

'...'

"Fine. Applejack, no holding him under."

~WAIT A MINUTE, I'M NOT OKAY WITH-UMF!~

'Hey!

>Ya' said nothin' about usin' a loofa!

~HRRMM!~

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>41
"SP"
~~~

>MEMORIZING!

"...So, uh, does shouting that help? Is it a secret changeling command or something?"

>MEMORIZING!

"I really need to know, because this would make national defense so much easier if this is the case."

>MEMORIZING.

"Yes ma'am, you are, in fact, memorizing, I assume."

>...

"...You're not remembering any of this, are you?"

>WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH!?

"Figured."

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>29
"???"
~~~

Emptiness.

Void.

Nothing.

A hollow world as hollow as he felt at this moment, nothing more, nothing less. A black expanse unto the nothingness between the stars, naught a fleck of light to touch him in the least. Were it not for the breath in his lungs, the sound of his body still functioning, he would have assumed his teacher had merely sent him beyond the sky, never to return.

He had never felt more deprived. Deprived of sensation, of stimulation, of life.

"Does thou hear it? Thine own heartbeat."

He did. He heard it, every single thump in his chest. Nothing else but that sound.

"That is how thee knows you live, how you are still alive. But we wonder, what would happen if thou simply... stopped."

It was gone.

His heartbeat, it was gone. He could not hear it, he could not feel it. It was simply not there.

He felt... cold.

"How would you know if you still live? What would speak to thee, what would thou hear, to know that life had not gone?"

He searched, he thought with every brain cell he had within his mind, and found nothing.

"How would you not know we've simply taken thine life?"

To his horror, to his fear...

He didn't.

"It would have been so easy for one such as us, a single strike before thou even know what had happened? How would you know?"

He thought, he questioned, he debated.

"How would you know?"

He found nothing.

Nothing, except...

>...I am still afraid.

"Many fear, even those that pass. Is that not the very foundation of thine actions with the children?

>No... they do not fear... they are driven by... something else.

"...So thou does see..."

There it was.

His heartbeat, it had returned.

"Thou hath only scratched the barest of surfaces with thine actions so far. It is time we taught thee... so much more."

The darkness was consuming him, eating him alive. He fought, he struggled, he battled.

But it was all useless.

"Come, and we shall show you."

For his mind, his body, were gone.

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OOCO
>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Celly'
[???]
~~~

>WHY ARE THERE SIX FUCKING DIFFERENT FORMS JUST TO FIX A ROAD!? You know what, hold the fuck up, I'm fixing this!

FWOOSH!

>DONE!

"...It's just a paper that says "Fix road, check yes or no" then "Where", "Budget" and "What time"."

>Damn straight!

'What about the zoning permits for them to start working and redirect traffic?'

FWOOSH!

>BAM!

"If yes is checked, redirect traffic in the way that works best? If not why the fuck are you working"?"

>DONE!

'Okay, so, how are they supposed to know what equipment to use?'

FWOOSH!

"...If yes is checked, use magic. If magic is not available, use everything except explosives to get it done."

>DONE!

"Okay, so, what's the maximum limit to how many they can have working?"

FWOOSH!

'...No maximum limit, use best judgement?'

>DONE!

"What about... uh..."

'...hrm...'

CRASH!

[Can Ah' see that right quick?]

>GET YOUR OWN, APPLEJACK!

[GIMME THAT YA' DANG BUG MONSTER!]

CRASH!

"..."

'...Well there's something I never thought I'd see.'

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>AJ
"Sunset"
'Lings'
[Guards]
~~

>Alright, report.

"I haven't seen anyone scream obscenities."

'Nobody chucked anything!'

[And we haven't had to assure anyone this is not a mob.]

>...So... so...

"So, from the looks of things, this area at the very least has gone down to treating changelings like they would any other large mob that is roaming through the streets. Annoyed they're taking up so much space, but aside from that who gives a shit."

>...it's all Ah' wanted...

[What next, majesty?]

>Phase two.

'YAYYYYYYYYY!'

"EEEEEEEEE!"

[I'll go get the marshmallows!]

>Two the NUMBER, not the... not the her!

"'[AWWWWWWWW!]'"

>... Fine, ah'll ask her ta' visit later.

"'[WOOO!]"'

>...Really, Sunset, you too?

"She is bucking ADORABLE and she gives out amazing life advice."

>...not questionin' that, phase two everyone!

'Well, what's phase two?"

>...Split up.

"..."
'...'
[...]

'We're fucked.'

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 >SA
"Cadence"
'Two'
~~~

'So, then I set it on fire.'

>...

"..."

'...Yep...'

>...

"...You handle this."

>Think this is mommy time.

"Oh no, this is when Shiny steps up."

>Shiny thinks that Caddy has this one.

"Caddy is not afraid to make Shiny sleep in the bathtub."

>Like that's a threat...

"Come again?"

>AHEM!... Two, honey?

'Yep!'

>While we are very, very proud of you for... protecting. You are ABSOLUTELY sure that the thing you set on fire was, in fact, a bug creature, and not... not-mom or something?

'A DUH!'

>You're sure.

'Well if ya' don't believe me, just ask it!'

>...

BOOM!
~SCREEEEEEEEE!~

'See? That ain't not mom!'

>...

"...You know the worst part? This was absolutely best case scenario."

>That it was.

"You want the sword or the gun?'

~CREEEEEE!~

>...Rocket launcher please.

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>AJ
"Sunset"
'???'
~~~~

"Are you sure this is a good idea?'

>The whole point o' this is literally ta' make it so they can walk around, mingle, and just be like anypony else. Iffin' we don't think we can manage, we're just wastin' a whole lotta time.

"And we should set fire to them?"

>Wha-NO!

"Didn't say I was GOING to... just asking if that was the plan."

>No!

"Okay."

>...

"...If it makes you feel any better, it's JUST Chrysalis I'm worried about. Being that, you know, I was made into a literal goddamn puppet of someone like her, and despite the fact she's an invading rapist she does not seem repentant or to give a shit."

>... Ah' don't think she does.

"Helpful!"

>Look, she ain't that bad, and she's actually bein' really trustin' ta' me here, okay? Ah' get why yer' mad, Ah' don't blame ya', she ain't helpin' her case most days and she ain't likely to anytime soon. She's loud, annoyin' and a pain, but she's also right now, like it or not, our ally. She's even a friend ta' a couple folks Ah' like, so at the very least, wait till she does somethin', and then think about settin' her on fire... lord knows Ah' do all the time.

"...Okay."

>Good. Now, help me start dividin' these critters up.

"Should we wait until they're done being on fire first?"

>...

'IT BURRNNNNSSS!'

>...Oh! Oh, you meant-

"The guard, yes. Not the changelings."

>...OH CRAP! HOLD STILL STEAM OLD BUDDY!

'I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS!'

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>Chitania
"SN"
~~~~

"Are ya' gonna keep doing that?"

>Yes.

"Oh, okay..."

>...

"Because, um... your foreleg is kinda-"

>I see what is happening, thank you.

"Is it supposed to do that?"

>No.

"...does... does it hurt?"

>A little.

"Are you going to stop?"

>...of course not.

"Chitty, um..."

>...

"Look, I know it ain't really something I should be sticking my nose in-"

>Good, so don't.

"But... but I just don't want Thirteen to come back and see her momma hurting like that."

>...

"Chitty?"

>...

"...Chitty?"

>...

"I... I'm sorry, I uh... I didn't mean to-"

>It's fine.

"You're... sure?"

>...It will stop before she comes back. It will be fine, by then.

"Why do you keep doing that? It never works, and it's got to hurt you so much."

>...so I won't lose the next fight.

"..."

>...

"...Okay."

>You can leave if you want.

"...I'm fine."

>I don't care.

"The scary part is... I believe you."

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NC
>SA
"Cadence"
~~~~

>...

"...So at the very least, in another lifetime, you would have gotten sex one more time recently-"

>FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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NC
>AJ
"Shining"

>Hey Shiny, ah' need y'all to look overe these forms an-...

"..."

>Why y'all staring outta the window like that?

"...Say, Applejack?"

>Mmm?

"You ever, like, feel that in another life.... if things were just so... subtly different, you would've got farther, done more.... been a ... proper stallion?"

>Wow you are down in the dumps today, did Chrysalis finally go an' take a sump in yer cereal?

"...I want to fuck Cadence so Faustdamn hard it hurts to not do so....."

>...

"Should I not have-"

>Ah'm no waify twig when it comes to love life, Shining, seriously, look at me

"Ah"

>And t' be honest? Ah' feel like several ponies are hankering to get that terrifyingly flat hind because they feel this existential weight spreading ont' all of us that has t' be lifted

"..That's..."

>Yeah, ain't pretty

"..."

>Eh, one day, soldier boy, one day

"....Can I have a minute?"

>No calls, gotcha

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>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
~Celestia~
^2^
(Spitfire)
-Sombra-
+Mane-Iac+
=Maud=
~~~~

>Maud, thanks for joining us this time! You know you were always welcome... while you were totally here...

=Thank you. I did not because it looked cramped.=

>...Wow, I just noticed we are running out of table.

"So buy a bigger one."

>We don't have enough room for this one!

"So buy a bigger room!"

>They don't exactly come in bits.

"So buy a bigger castle!"

>...I... I don't...

'I want a bigger castle.'

"See? Caddy's on board."

[My eyeballs are seconds away from blowing out of my skull.]

{A bigger castle would make things much easier.}

[That... that's not...]

~Now let's not get into a castle arms race, if yours got bigger than mine I'd have to expand as well.~

^OH OH! If we get a bigger castle, can I get a room for all my toys?^

>You have that, it's called your room.

^No, but like, I have mah room... and then I gots ANOTHER room of nothin' but stuff.^

>I think we need to have a talk about limits.

(If we get a bigger castle, I want a bigger room too.)

-I call the basement.-

+AHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND I SHALL BUILD A LABORATORY OF EVVILLLLLLL!+

=I am good at building.=

>We're not building a bigger castle!

'Why did you give this to me only to take it away! Don't you love me!?'

>I didn't give this to you, I said no at the start?

~!Noticing you ignored the second part...~

=He does not need to say it to his first wife.=

'Stop calling me that!'

[...keepcallingherthat...]

"Is this gonna be a regular thing? Her I mean."

(HEY!)

"Not you, her."

+AHHHAHAHA!... But I thought you liked me here?+

"Not you, HER!"

~I was technically first, even if there was a gap.~

"NOT! YOU!... HER!"

{...Wait, did you mean me?}

"ARGGGGGG!"

=...I do not think I want to make this regular. You all are loud.=

>That we are.

=And the food is taking forever.=

>...Oh, right, you're supposed to eat stuff at dinner...

"HAH!"

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