I don’t think I want to do software development anymore. I’m not good enough to get where I want and I’m sick of bouncing across jobs I can get just to dread waking up and having to go into work again. And I do not want to pivot for to the typical [business analyst / recruiter / manager / technical writer / etc.] that completely burnt out devs normally do. I would hate those even more than what I do now. There are a handful of other fields that seem like people are doing interesting things in, but I have no ability to pivot, because I have no credentials when most fields require them.

I chose not to pursue education because at the time, because I wanted to do stuff, not sit around for a few years in courses I didn’t really care about and having my money sucked from in the process. I kinda regret it now, because although I absolutely despise how the education system works, I can see it brings some benefits. I tried to find a way to “hack” the system and get into a decent university in a non-traditional way but the bureaucracy is too strong. I’ve been rejected from a few programs as it’s painfully obvious I’m not their target.

I could probably still make my way in, but it would be costly. For one, I’d have to go back and play the game how they (university admissions) want. This would include mostly going and collecting check mark admissions requirements I don’t currently have. I estimate this would take a year or two at best. Next I’d probably have to quit working for the duration. I’ve looked into online programs and have been extremely disappointed. Too many offerings for “useless” and scam degrees and very little of anything that would be of use. The ones that target “working professionals” seem to be extremely questionable even from an otherwise legitimate, respected school. About the only “useful” program you can find only at the undergrad level is going to be CS, which I’m not particularly interested in given my situation. Plus, I’ve already been rejected by some of the better looking CS programs I’ve seen online.

Obviously this runs a serious issue financially. I won’t be able to work, but I have to pay for tuition + necessities (rent, food, etc.). This almost certified means loans, and in my case private loans as I make too much money for any aid, but not enough to just pay out of pocket. Additionally there is the chance that I may not even qualify for in state tuition in my own state of residence. This would leave me with a large bill either way, but having to pay out of state would probably  blow that up x4. Additionally, because I’m not working that’s lost wages as well I will likely never make up.

And then of course there’s the time cost which is nearly as concerning as the monetary cost. I’m still pretty young, and have no sort of family or any other ties, so that’s a plus. However, given the year or two I predict I will need to gather admissions requirements,  and the time of the program. I will likely exhaust the rest of my twenties (which have already been partly wasted exclusively working) and possibly my early thirties in school, not doing anything. If I did switch fields that would ask entail searching for entry level jobs at that age, which of course will be its own challenge. Although depending on what I chose, I could be making about what I make now, more, or around half.

Now despite all this, going back for undergrad would, even if I decided not to switch careers in the end, would at least open up more doors, whether that be a different job fields through my undergrad or grad school or connections made. So I’m not sure. The alternative is almost certainly to continue working jobs I hate until I either make enough money to stop caring or get to retire.