Modless Morrowind with Miles Davis

>be me, bonky
>i’m showing my friend pickle homer morrowind for the first time
>i want him to experience it just like i did
>we’re going in blind
>miles davis is there too
>he’s hunched over pickle homer
>looking at the screen
>i’m scared of miles davis
>and i can see him in the monitor
>but the game is starting
>it has such wonderful ambience
>pickle homer hems and haws over what he should name his character
>he chooses Tony
>I think well okay that’s not really lore appropriate but there is a dog with a brooklyn accent in skyrim so it’s not that weird
>he picks a khajiit as his character
>i think ok
>ok
>tony the khajiit
>that’s
>whatever
>he picks a custom class
>he picks longsword
>even though it doesn’t really synergize with any of his racial abilities or skills
>he picks heavy armor
>he picks medium armor
>he picks block
>he picks spear
>he’s making a warrior
>he picks some of the worst schools of magic
>for his birthsign he picks the Lord
>which
>it gives you 100% weakness to fire
>and a healing spell that you can easily replace
>ok i’m getting kind of angry
>but he gets out into the world
>”i don’t like the way he runs” pickle homer says
>he skips past all the people
>”neat water graphics” he says
>”yeah,” i say, “the water graphics are really good”
>he runs up to a rat
>he starts swinging at the rat
>but he’s using a blunt weapon
>his swings are all missing because his skill is really low
>he keeps clicking
>the rat is biting the shit out of him
>huge clouds of red blood are popping off all over the screen
>i see miles davis’s horrible face in the monitor
>he’s sweating
>i say use your healing spell
>he doesn’t know how to use it
>before he can use it he dies
>miles davis and pickle homer look over at me
>their faces are totally humorless
>miles loses it
>”you’re tellin me a rat…
>...can kill a damn cat?”
>i’m reeling
>i can’t believe they don’t like it
>miles davis straightens out
>”didn’t even hit anything” he says
>”he didn’t even hit that damn rat.”
>pickle homer says yeah why didn’t i hit the rat
>”didn’t do a damn thing” miles says
>”like a nightmare.” he says
>”nightmare where you can’t hit nothin’”
>i’m mortified
>”i swear it’s a good game, guys” i plead
>miles davis and pickle homer switch seats
>miles plays miles davis
>he picks a redguard
>he plays a warrior
>he starts attacking villagers
>he’s actually doing really good
>but he has a huge bounty
>he gets into a cave
>”i can’t see.” he says
>the luminosity is really low on this monitor
>but also miles davis wears sunglasses at all times
>”i can’t see a damn thing” he says
>he’s swimming around
>he’s lost
>he’s drowning
>a fish swims up and starts biting him
>”can’t see a damn thing” he says
>”it’s like a nightmare where you can’t see a damn thing”
>his character dies
>pickle homer and miles davis both look at me
>their faces are devoid of the slightest hint of warmth
>”miles davis ain’t gonna die from no cave fish.”
>he flips the keyboard up
>the keys snap off and scatter
>”that’s not gonna happen” he says
>”stupid game.” he says
>”stupid game.”
>”let me show y’all a real game.”
>he takes a disc out of his shirt pocket
>he spits on the mirrored side
>he wipes the spit around with his thumb
>he puts it in the pc
>i tell him that's not gonna work
>that's not gonna work
>he just looks at me
>he installs it
>it’s microsoft golf
>it’s actually a really fun game
>it has great ambience
>we have a lot of fun watching miles golf