I just SHARTED :(

was sitting here on the couch shitposting on ETI squeezing out some farts when the very last one ended up not being a fart, I immediately felt that terrifying wave of warm wet shit blow out between my cheeks, I clenched my sphincter dropped my laptop and immediately started stripping off my pants before it could get a chance to soak through, stripped down to my boxers running to the bathroom. I took off the boxers while sitting on the toilet and found the long chocolate pudding streak fresh in the seat of my underwear. I soaped it up and went to work wiping this disgusting grit from my pantalones while simultaneously blowing the rest of the shit out into the toilet, it came out like Campbells chunky soup, the devil's coffee. I tried to wipe but my entire crack was soaked in liquid shit, I had no choice but to disrobe my remaining clothes and hop in the shower. I turned on the water and let it flow through my hairy crack and dissolve my disgusting ass pube net. I felt another fart welling up inside my rectum and thought maybe it was safe to let out one last fart, but I was wrong. As I relaxed my brown hole another torrent of shit spewed forth, blasting so hard that it pushed me forward against the wall of the shower. I could not believe it, how could a shit be this strong? I glanced over at the bathroom mirror and saw something I did not recognize, the face of a large man, it was none other than Big Jeffrey, and he was me! I was Big Jeffrey! It all made sense now. "Me... Me Big Jeffrey!" I stammered. I let out another torrent of shit, propelling me forward so hard that I blasted through the wall into my roomate's bedroom who was busy fucking some hooker his grandma bought for him. "BIG JEFFREY POO POO TIME!" I roared as I spun around blasting butt juice all over my roomate and his broad. They were startled and began chanting "Big Jeffrey! Big Jeffrey! Big Jeffery!" I screamed "AAAAAAARGGGGHH!!!!" as I turned my shit jets up to maximum and blasted up thought the roof in to the sky and took off into the sunset