chaos 12 - teaching bei

There's a good reason as to why he's chosen the mountains.

Their rigid cold and unforgiving winds were more than fitting for the practice of Arcane, something that he's started doing here for such a long time ago; even now, returning here, to the place where he first began to truly bend this mystic energy, he could feel the flow of Arcane itself.

Flowing through his veins, his mind, his heart.

And now, it was time to pass it onto someone else. There are certain methods that Arthur employed in his studies of Arcane, the studies that were going to shock and shatter anyone that would dare to unveil them, and yet at the same time, they were capable of bringing out some of the most powerful traits a person can possess.

For as long as they can truly wield it.

"Sit down on the ground."

With that, his hands reach out behind his back, and his feet rise from the ground- he floats just slightly above, the scarlet eyes pointed at her. Within a moment, he begins speaking.

"Both spectrums of Arcane share a similar trait - willpower. It is why so many people on Agartha cannot even hope to grasp the root of Arcane, despite it being rich with such energy."

"Most are weak... they are unfit, and it's only fitting that the strong tread on them, that they take what they want and leave the weak behind."

"But you're not weak. I know that well."

"I will teach you what I know- what they allowed me to know. Try to keep your mind and heart open."
(Arthur Rowan)

The most frightening thing is falling to your opponent at the last second of the battle. The most frightening thing is finding all of your ambitions and pride melt away through your fingers and into the palm of your opponent. And for the most part...Even she has to admit that she was frightened, that she was scared. Not just for herself, but for her unborn child at the time. And for all that could've came due to her own foolishness. However...Luck- and her ability to stand once again is the one thing that caused her to push onward. To become something more, something...Dangerous. Within these moments, even she knows that desperation forces her to do wild things. But in this case...Even she knows that it must be done.

Because if she doesn't garner enough strength, then she'll be nothing more than a liability to all those around. And for that reason, she must maintain. For that reason, she must become stronger than all those that are around...Or else, she may fail in the worst way.

 "Yes."

 For now, she simply does as she is told. The Drakaness keeps herself upon the ground....Her gaze falling upon the palm of her hands before they clench, knuckles whitening- claws threatening to press into her own flesh. "Strength has always been the driving force of Agartha...So you're right. And because of strength- my strength, I can pave my own way. And I can beat all those that challenge me." In the end, the woman would close her eyes- breathing in the opulent, frozen winds of the mountain and exhaling smoke from the fires of her ambition.

 "Teach me. And leave nothing out, please."
(Bei Rowan)

The pain and resentment was his suffering and weapon.

It's a powerful force that can be used for something great, but one must learn how to bear with it in order to grasp it- as such, Arthur used to almost lose his mind at times over many different things, but he somehow managed to keep it together. At times, he wasn't sure how he pushed through it, but he was a pioneer in that craft, with no master to teach him.

At least for her, he could be the guiding light.

"First comes the willpower, as I said. In order to even hope to grasp the Arcane of Chaos- or even Order- one must have sufficient strength to do what they want. It's all about being willing to do what must be done."

"Second comes ambition. The power of Chaos is to take what you want, and to refuse to give up. It is the driving, selfish power that allows you to bend reality itself to your whim - just because you want it to. In order to succeed as a Chaos magi, your ambition must be strong, and your desire unquenchable in anything you wish to lay your hands on."

"Third comes fulfilment. Ironically, Tragedy's White Testament served as my guidance... she uses word 'happiness' a lot, but really, it's all about fulfilment. While you may have ambition, it is all about how you act on it. Once you set yourself in a proper mindset that you will take anything you want - then it becomes the force that fuels you from outside, just as much as it fuels you from within."

"Only then, you shall connect yourself to that."

With pause, the invisible energy begins seeping to her, from one Rowan to another; it's the energy she has witnessed so many times, fought against even, and the energy that granted him so many victories. The energy that drove him mad, made him happy, and edged him on so many things.

"It is good that you never wondered about it until now, whether my mind is just as unblemished as my soul--"

"--or if it bore the scars of pain that I feel, if it was in outrage, contained like a beast in a cage."

"Until now, you've seen the world through your own eyes - but I will show it to you through mine."

Something stirs within her. Something fuels her mind, and it soon becomes blank, only capable of listening to him, of following him.

She's taken elsewhere.
(Arthur Rowan)

When did everything begin to fall apart? Somewhere, within the depths of her mind. Within the twisted darkness of her heart- the failure to win causes desperation to unfurl within the inner recesses of her mind. To be completely honest, she gives everything for the happiness that she feels that she deserves. To be completely honest, she will give everything for the sake of having more...Of being able to do more despite what all say and speak about her. Nevertheless, she keeps her head bowed- her gaze focused upon the palms of her hands..

 "I've always done what is necessary. But...If you mean that my willpower should be more self-serving, then I'm willing to do all of that as well." To be quite honest, her own wishes had always been surrounded by her budding, blossoming family. However...There are times when she can and has been extremely selfish. And now...These are times when she must play with this emotion. When she must prepare herself for all that is to come. And to succumb to her own greed, even if it forces her to become twisted. Even if she loses herself within the darkness..

 "...I'll follow all that you say." Ambition, fulfillment. What matters is not the darkness that comes with it. But the height of the pleasure- the height of the resolution before everything dwindles. If she can maintain that connection...That bridge, then nothing else will ever matter.

 "Let me see it for myself. I'll read Tragedies white testament in the mean time but...Through your eyes, I'll be able to see what you see. I'll be able to feel what you can." In the end...She keeps herself open to all things- even as he speaks...Even as he continues to move onward...The woman does not fight against the thing that stirs within her spirit. Instead, she invites it within the depths of her mind. And soon..

There is nothing more than darkness enveloping her vision. But what would she find? What inner-demons would be revealed within this magic?
(Bei Rowan)

There are so many of him.

Within the darkness, she's taken to where she should've never been, to the depths of his mind- of their mind- where no person other than him has set their foot before. It displays horrible, twisted realities of Four, the replica of His looming over her.

'The Fate where she betrays Him - where he's forced to kill her, where the rest of his life is lived out in regret.'
'The Fate where she dies - where he becomes nothing but a pale shadow of former self, existing only to kill and hurt.'
'The Fate where he ascends - where he becomes the ruler of Agartha, the new God King, the Lich King, and she is his Queen.'
'The Fate where he's a beast - where he submits to the bloodlust, when he's gone mad and no longer capable of ruling.'

All of them are horrible tragedies, or twisted realities of what's to be. They are many, and they are One. The Rowans weep, the Rowans kill, the Rowans rage, they all do this and so much more. But the most unexpected happens - they notice her, and for the first time ever, it's not just him that hears all of it, it's her too.

"It's her."
"You've caused so much change in him."
"His Queen."
"His cure and crutch."

Towering and mighty, this is their realm. Before them, she's nothing, but a guiding force whispers behind her- it is their, no, his voice, except it comes from different places.

"Them."

"They kept me alive. They drove me over the edge, and they pushed me to achieve everything you know me for. We live in symbiosis now... but it's not an easy force to oppose."

"Come. It is time for you to see something else."
(Arthur Rowan)

She notices the fracture within the mind. The way the realm seems to twist and turn with multiple images of him- some of them are maddenings, others are pristine...Just as the vision that he holds. But for the most part, she believes that they're all there to serve one purpose. Not just to overcome the opponent, but to completely and utterly underwhelm. Within this same notion...The woman believes that it is something that came about from not just his mastery over the Arcane, but his descent into necromancy. Within this moment, she finds herself receding ever so slightly back into the depths of her own mind. The fright, the fear of the Rowan that commands her becoming renewed and yet..

 For her own good- she stays still and put. After all, love has disciplined her to sacrifice all that she can in order to achieve all that she desires. And her desperation to defeat Verdict has caused her to do things that she normally would not rely to do. For now, she accepts all those that come...And she stands tall, her blade pressing into the ground...Her eyes looking about, observing the differences...Understanding.

"...This is what it's like to live with the Arcane? To know what your fate might lead you to and to still go about it?" She finds that following an ill-omen is a crazy thing. But she imagines that the excitement that comes out of everything is even more...Sickening, twisted. If only briefly, would a smile appear upon her lips. "Working with all of them must've pushed you further than you've expected. I...Wonder if I'll be the same." She cannot imagine how different she may be. But in the end...She moves onward, following behind him and allowing the guiding voices to lead her through the depths of this twisted, inherent darkness...

"I don't imagine that opposing it is what got you this far. I think that in times like these...We all have to embrace the darker sides of ourselves. Even me." For a moment, she pauses...

 "I'm ready, Arthur. Show me.."
(Bei Rowan)

"Brace yourself."

There were the only words that she was capable of hearing before the descend into madness began- it's not about surrendering to madness, it's about embracing it and learning how to live with it, and how to rage against all of it. While his job was to show her just that, to guide her, he could only hope she manages to conquer it all.

- - -

She's alone, in the snow.

She's left barely alive, barely breathing, bloodied and bare. The visage of Vampires that have just caused her so much pain, so much suffering by playing with her, now left her to die, thinking she's done for. A hand could feel the warmth of something, and as she turns to it, it's him - the blank, empty, glassy eyes.

They lost. He lost. She's left a sole survivor, with her love ripped away from her, cold against the snow.

- - -

He's gone.

A conflict in their family, and he was nowhere to be seen. The wants, the fear that he left her stirs within her, and the blinding fury soon overwhelms her when she sees him again - but he's not alone. Unlike her, he has someone, having forgotten and abandoned her instead.

It's hard to remember what came next. All that she heard are another woman's screams as she tore out her heart.

- - -

She cannot stop herself.

One after another, they all fall. One after another, she draws more, and more, and MORE blood. She's slain dozens, no, hundred by now - and even as she tries to hold herself back, the Draconic blood stirs within, refusing to let her stop. Caked in crimson, the only thought she can hear is-

'Murder them. Murder them all. Again. Again. Again. Again again again again againagainagainagainagainagainagain.'

- - -

Lifeless.

In her arms, she holds him, but he doesn't move. She tries to shake him awake, she holds back her tears, and she thinks about how she will make it back home to bring him back. She carries him, in hope that it's not too late--

-- but when she's back in Dawn, everyone is horrified of her. People scream and run. Only then does she realize - the chunk of Rowan's flesh is still stuck on her claws and teeth. It's her doing. She's lost it.

- - -

The darkness of it all envelops her. There's seemingly no escape- it's all so overwhelming, so sudden, so strong that at times it looks like she's about to become one of that - it almost feels like her mind is slipping away, blanked and lulled by the influence.

And yet, a single whisper echoes.

"Don't fight it..."

"You always knew you've been like this."
(Arthur Rowan)

Madness.

 She has fought against this before - where the occultism had ran virulent through her being. Where she had used all that she possibly could in order to overcome it. And by doing so- she had accessed a new technique that only she was capable of. With her magic, she was capable of soothing the occultism- of staving away the depression and darkness within the recesses of her mind. However...There are times when she, too, is capable of slipping and falling. Like being taken back to the first time when she had seen one of her own die upon the field. A cadaver being slammed into the heart of Rea, twisted and turned...Until she is nothing more than a frozen husk of what she once was.

 Within these moments- she finds that she becomes lost. Barely alive within the snow, defeated- heated breathes spilling past her lips. Blood, melted snow, and hair sticking to her features within her own 'helpless' status. It's times like these when she knows that she must believe and yet...Within the depths of this darkness, within the inner-recesses of her heart, even she knows that he is not immortal. That he is capable of being killed. And because of such...

 It begins. The fracture within her glass mentality. A moment where he is nowhere to be seen. A moment when he has died...And then, she feels it. A warmth like no other. The constant beating of another woman's heart...And then- nothing. Darkness occurs within her mind as it spills...The warmth combatting the chill of the snow. The enchanced change of the drakaness rolling into life, tousling and turning until...

Crrkkkt..

 Muscles tense, bones snap under pressure. Even as she attempts to hold herself back...She kills them- she kills them all within her blind rage, within her moments. Not just because he has died and left her...But because she has lost yet again. But in this case...

 She does not resist. Instead, she has learned to swim with the current....The heaving breathes, the trembling all coinciding with one another until she finally seems to be at peace. But what is her own current state of mind......Does she enjoy the death and murder? Does she enjoy hurting and killing others- and seeing their despair? In the end...What occurs after all is said and done is nothing more than a statement.

"I've always liked it."

 From the beginning, she loved seeing it. And for it to be on the other foot is unacceptable. This pride swells, this chaos reigns, and only more blood will spill. "I'll always will." The tensing muscles relax steadily...The wings upon her back furling once more, save for silver-like scales. With each passing moment, the occultism that once lingered about is replaced with silver glitz and static. The world,if only briefly, flickers as she regains control....A soft, gentle smile staying upon her features.

"I just didn't want to admit it." Sad, but...Terribly true. And when she was defeated, she didn't just take it out on anyone. No, she took it out on herself. Because she couldn't stand it. And no longer, will she ever stand 'falling' to another opponent so easily.

 Now, it is blood for blood. Now, what she wants most is to see what Arthur sees. And more.
(Bei Rowan)

But there is not only despair.

Amidst all of it, there is something new that arises, something brilliant, something much greater than even she is- in the darkness, amidst the blood and violence, there sits a Goddess with her face veiled by the dark. Leg crossed another, dressed in the crimson dress, she stares at Bei.

This is it. It's the Queen. The Empress.

Beneath her heels, the countless bodies of unworthy, among them even the corpses of... her, of unfortunate versions of self where she was unable to fulfil something, and became cast aside, carelessly thrown away like trash the moment she slipped up and failed. This mistress was unforgiving, and she beckons.

'You could be so much more, and yet you chose to swim in anxiety and self-doubt. You disgust me.'

'But I can help you. I can make you something better, something more. Something that nobody shall ever bring down.'

She extends her hand- it is beautiful and smooth, and it's pointed towards her. The face of the woman sitting on the throne remains veiled, and yet she speaks.

'Come. Take what you want.'
(Arthur Rowan)

Fears are what stifles the growth. And anxiety is what kills the ambition. She finds that in ending these portions of her own reality...She's capable of garnering so much more than what she thinks that she is capable of. At one point in time, she was moreso frightened of what she would become. But now, after falling to Verdict. After realizing that she has failed to compare to those that have come before him...She imagines that she must become something more, something brilliant. In the end...These versions of herself are the ones that she has killed. The self-doubt, the self-hatred, the portion where she didn't imagine losing him...And now, all she can see are the portions of herself that revel within the power that she possesses.

 Not just the magical, but the physicality behind each and every strike. Even as she moves, she can see how reality trembles and sighs around her body. Being this brilliant, this sickening within a vermillion-bloodied dress was far too much to be considered holy. No, she was a walking sin. Tainted and doused within her own self-serving glory. And because of such...She sees what she can. And she grasps onto the hand to become something so much more. Something brilliant.

 "...I'll take it all."

 By force, if necessary. Becoming a Queen is no longer an aspiration. What she desires to be...Is an empress. "I'll be the last one left." Above everything and all. No enemies shall stand before her. Not now...Not ever. And with that being said, she takes her seat...And she watches over her newfound kingdom.
(Bei Rowan)

When she finally takes a step closer, when she finally reaches out, the darkness that covered the face of the Empress disappears, and instead it's revealed in similar features; the draconic gaze, the structure that she should've known just by looking into mirror - it's her.

'Good.'

As their hands touch, she begins to fade away, merging into the original self, into real self, in her. Before her, the kingdom appears, the possible futures where she's by the side of her King, where she has slain any foe that stood in her way, where she's become the greatest Drakaness there is.

There is fulfilment that he's spoken about all this time.

- - -

Reality, however, returns to her mind.

Her eyes are forced open, and before her, he's floating as usual, his feet above the ground just by mere inch or so. The crimson glare of the Rowan looks upon her- he can clearly sense something different, the root of energy taking its place within. The mastery of Arcane does not come so easily, and while she's still incapable of the feats that he can do--

-- at the very least, the first connections should've been established.

"How do you feel?"
(Arthur Rowan)

Fulfillment. It is something that stains the visage and ideology of the Drakanite. What she wanted is now replaced with what she desires now. A kingdom of her own- the ability to force people to tremble beneath her power. The desire to see all things that stand against Dawn come to an end and dissipate underneath the very palm of her hand. At one point, she imagines that she'll be the strongest thing walking one day. That she'll force her opponents to bend the knee...Or falter in the end. But nevertheless...In the end, she comes back to reality with her newfound directive. And she turns only slightly to gaze towards the Rowan.

 "I feel-.."

 Electricity rolling through her bones, power swelling within her veins, the connection to the world forcing her to feel calm and yet...There's so much excitement. "-...Alive." Everything is vibrant and brilliant. And as she stands, she turns...If only briefly. "As of now...I think I'm ready to take on everything. I won't lose again." No, this time, Verdict will falter.

 "For now, lets go speak to Lucien about trading Evarill for Rea." It'll be the first of many things 'dealings'..
(Bei Rowan)