[A4A] Comfort For Grieving [Supportive] [Heartfelt]

[A4A] [Script Offer] Comfort For Grieving [Comfort] [Supportive] [Encouragement] [Processing Techniques] [Reassurance] [Affirming] [Soothing] [An Uncomfortable Truth] [Heartfelt]

Script:

(Note: This is a generalised comfort script to assist others in dealing with loss. The overall tone is of a relaxed, but engaged nature, and slow in pace)

I'm sorry for your loss. [pause] At some point in our lives, we all hear that phrase. A phrase that's softly spoken, often with a slight touch, maybe on the shoulder, maybe holding our hands, or maybe with a comforting hug. A phrase that's only delivered in our most painful and vulnerable times.

It's a simple phrase, short in length but so long and intricate in it's meaning. It starts with an apology. Sorry. That part alone is loaded with emotional sensitivity. It conveys an empathy in the speaker, a realisation and response that they know your current situation only too well. They're not apologising for something they have done, or said. They're apologising for the way you may be feeling, or that you're having to feel it at all.

Then comes that reference to your loss. We've all lost something, right? Our keys, some money, or maybe our voice when feeling ill. But when this phrase is spoken to us, the loss involved is greater than any material posessions or a short lived health condition. This loss is tragic, deeply impactful and definite. It's not something we can find again, or have restored after a short period of rest and recuperation.

So that's the first thing that I want to say to you. That short, but meaningful phrase. I'm sorry for your loss. And I mean it, genuinely I do. I know we don't have any other connection than a few clicks on the internet that allowed me to post this, and then for you to listen. But I truly am sorry. Deeply, truly sorry that this most tragic event has happened in your world.

At times like these, there's nothing really that can be said that will ease the pain you may be feeling. No words of comfort will provide the intended relief. The impact of your loss is just too great to be penetrated by just a few well meaning words. There are many ways forward for you now, and only you can choose the direction and pace as you progress in the process.

And that's all it is, a process. There may be smaller, spearate processes involved; the process of acceptance, the process of grieving, the process of recovery…but that's all it is. A process. And I want to give you a few things to think about that may just help as you go through your own process. A few things that have helped me and many others before. They may not help right now, but they will in time.

That's the first thing to remember, this process will take time. The length of time this will take is impossible to say, but honestly, the length of time it takes cannot be defined. Each and every one of us will need our own length of time for this process. And that's okay.

The process of coming to terms with loss and finding our own ways of recovering and moving on is important. Doing it at our own pace is also important. Try not to let yourself feel that you 'should be feeling better by now'. These feelings are natural, and if you feel them, it's likely you need more time to process things before you can move on. And that's okay too.

The next thing I want you to remember is that you can, and should remember everything. Let me explain. Quite often, people are told to remember the good things. 'Think of the good things, and they'll live on in your mind'. That's good advice. Why wouldn't you want to remember the good things? But you can also think of the other things. The bad things, the indifferent things. The things that are somewhere in between.

All of those things were a part of your relationship, and they can be now too. Every aspect of your experience can and should be remembered,. It shaped you then, and it can shape you still. You lived it. They lived it. Keep it all in as a whole, and think of each specific aspect as and when you want or need to.

The last thing I want you to remember may be a difficult one to hear. Especially right now, when things are sensitive and raw. But it's important. And you need to keep it in mind. I'm very aware that this may touch a nerve, that it might be too early in your process, that it may sound trite, or insensitive. But I need to say it. And you need to hear it. No matter how hard it may be to take in. At some point, maybe soon, maybe in the future, you'll need to know this. So I'll say it. Safe in the knowledge that it helps. That you need it. Ready? Okay. You're still here, and you need to live your life.

I know. That may not be what you want to hear right now. You may be hurt. You may be angry. You may have stopped this audio. And that's okay. But it's true. And you need to remember that. Maybe not right now, but at some point in your process, you'll need to do it. To move on with your life. The plans, the dreams, all the things you wanted, and told yourself or others that you would do. To live your life.

That's all we get, right? Our life. And all of the ways we are involved in other people's lives. All the things you remember about your time with the one you lost? That was your lives together, right? You have others. And they have you to build those memories and experiences with. Their lives. Your life.

Both they, and you, have all sorts of experiences to create, and build on. Like I said, maybe not now, maybe not soon. But you can carry on. You will carry on, to live your life in, and around others again. Like before, there's no defined timescale for this. And please don't feel you have to rush, or to force it. Bit you do have a life. And you need to live it, the best you can.

I hope you're still here, and still listening, because I want to say one last thing before I go. I truly believe the things I've told you are important, and that they can help you now and as time goes on. But I want to repeat one little phrase,the most important little phrase you can hear right now. I started with it, and I'll end with it. It's simple but deep. It's short but emotionally huge. It's real and heartfelt. I'm sorry for your loss. I really, truly am.