Fucking Bonbon (They actually do it version_ 2.1 I think)

Mar 26th, 2017
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  1. >Quickly jogging downstairs you throw open your front door and step out onto your front porch
  2. >It looked like it was another perfect day out
  3. >There wasn't a cloud in the sky
  4. >Birds were chirping
  5. >Ponies were walking around just chatting and enjoying their little horse lives
  6. >...Yep
  7. >Blackout thursday would have been a grand old time on a day like this...
  8. >"Anon! ANON! Whoohoo! Over here!"
  9. >Turning your head to the left you look over to see your other neighbor, Carrot Top, leaning on your fence with a great big smile
  10. >Like always the little horse was covered in dirt and had a big straw hat on her head
  11. >But unlike most of the times the two of you talked she looked excited
  12. >Like REALLY excited
  13. >Which was why her smile was making you nervous
  14. >REALLY nervous
  15. "Morning Carrot," you greet with a yawn
  16. >Carrot Top giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof as she leaned against your fence just a little bit more
  17. >"It's almost two o'clock, Anon!" she said, her smile not leaving her face. "Morning was over HOURS ago... though I'm sure you wouldn't know that after the morning you had..."
  18. >Frowning, you step off your porch and make your way over to the little horse, who giggled quietly as you stood over her
  19. "...And what do you mean by that Carrot Top?"
  20. >Carrot Top's nostrils flared as she looked up at you, her smile only widening
  21. >"Wellllll, Anon, I was out and about early this morning weeding my carrot garden when I just so happened to hear some... noises coming from your abode," Carrot said with an eyebrow wiggle
  22. >...Oh
  23. >Oh...
  24. >Oh fuck...
  25. >Though you manage to keep a straight face a sinking feeling started to form in your gut
  26. >Though she didn't look it Carrot Top here was one of Ponyville's biggest gossips
  27. >AND she was the biggest fucking neb-noser that you've ever met
  29. >So if she heard the noises that you and your... marefriends were making (which she probably did because you, Lyra, and Bonnie hadn't exactly been quiet when you had your fun) she was probably able to guess what had happened
  30. >And if she knew what had happened and if it was two o'clock like she said then that meant that there was a good chance that half of the fucking town knew as well
  31. >...
  32. >...
  33. >...
  34. >Great
  35. >Awesome
  36. >The second that you dive into horsefucking everyone and their mother knows about it...
  37. >Sweet
  38. >You couldn't be FUCKING happier
  39. >"So who's the lucky mare?" Carrot asked, bringing you out of your thoughts
  40. >Carrot sniffed the air again, her eyes widening
  41. >"Ohhh! Mares is it? Well who-- nono! Don't tell me! Is it Twilight and Derpy? Or maybe it's Roseluck and Silver Lace! Or--"
  42. >You just look down at the little horse, who's about to break your FUCKING fence with how she's leaning on it, your eye twitching
  43. >Though you have a VERY strong desire to go and get your broom so that you could give this little gossip what-for you stop yourself
  44. >No
  45. >That's what she wants you to do...
  46. "...I don't know what you're talking about."
  47. >Carrot Top stops talking about... whatever the fuck she was blabbering on about to look up at you with a smirk
  48. >"Oh don't you give me THAT, Anon!" the little earth pony said, reaching over your fence to playfully bat you on the leg with a hoof. "I can smell the mare's on you and--"
  49. >Alright...
  50. >Time to leave...
  51. >You're going to fuck off now
  52. >Now's the time for you to fuck right off
  53. "I'm sorry that I have to cut our little chat short but I gotta go Carrot. You have yourself a nice day."
  54. >Not giving the mare a chance to answer you about-face, making your way through your yard and toward SugarCube Corner
  55. >Alright, if you did this quick then maybe no one will even say anything to--
  57. >"Oh don't be like that Anon!" Carrot chirps, suddenly appearing at your side. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about! In fact I'm ecstatic that you finally stopped being such a grump and found a pair of mares!"
  58. "...Get out of my yard, Carrot Top."
  59. >The little mare snorted, once again batting your leg
  60. >Your eye twitches and you have the sudden and violent urge to punt a little horse but you managed to beat the urge down
  61. >No...
  62. >The ponice would have your ass in jail by suppertime...
  63. >"Oh, I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered before, Anon! The mares that you managed to snag MUST be some lookers eh?"
  64. >As Carrot Top yammers on you stomp toward SugarCube Corner with a frown
  65. >To your left and to your right you see ponies all bunched up into groups "talking" to each other
  66. >Though they're trying to be stealthy you could see them looking and pointing at you
  67. >...Well shit
  68. >It looked like it was going to be one of those days wasn't it?
  69. >"--You know, if you're looking for another mare to add to your collection, you stallion you, I know this wonderful mare down the street--"
  70. >And Carrot Top wasn't helping with the stares either, loudly talking like she was
  71. >You could hear a stallion calling your name but you keep walking, not even turning your head
  72. >A mare waves at you but you don't even look her way
  73. >Just ignore it...
  74. >Just ignore it...
  75. >If you ignore all of this bullshit then it'll go aw--
  76. >"Anon! ANON! I need to talk to you!"
  77. >You couldn't help but groan
  78. >What the fuck was it now?!
  79. >Looking to your right you see Twiggy Piggy trotting toward you with her muzzle scrunched up and her eyebrows furrowed
  80. >Book horse was mad
  81. >...Of course she fuckin was
  82. >Probably had a book up her ass or some other such thing...
  83. >...Fucking shit...
  84. "Was there something that you needed, Twi?" you asked tiredly
  85. >Purple drank nodded, her little chest puffing out as she looked up at you
  87. >"You have some explaining to do mister! You were supposed to come down to the mayor's office to get some paperwork finished that I've been telling you for MONTHS to--"
  88. >Twilight stopped her bitching as her nostrils flared, her eyes widening
  89. >"Is that... Oh."
  90. >She gasped, smiling suddenly
  91. >"Ohhh! Congratulations Anon! Who's the lucky mares?"
  92. "...Get the fuck out of my face Dorkle... I'm REALLY not in the mood..."
  93. >Carrot snorted
  94. >"Don't let Mr. Grumpy here fool you, Princess! He's been talking my ear off about how he's found the mares of his dreams."
  95. >No you fucking...
  96. >URGH!
  97. >Walking around the purple pain in your ass you continue to make your way to SugarCube Corner
  98. >You were going to get your COFFEE for fuck's sake
  99. >And no noisy ponies were going to stop that
  100. >To your horror Twilight trots after you, walking side-by-side with Carrot
  101. >"I can't believe that I get to record pony and human relations now!" Twiggles said excitedly
  102. >There was a pop, and in an instant Twilight had paper and quill floating near her head
  103. >"So how did these mares manage to court you Anon? OHHHHH! Or did YOU court THEM?! Were there any particular pheromones that you secreted to show them your interest?"
  104. >Out of the corner of your eye you see ponies walking toward you, trying to listen in on what Twilight and Carrot Top were saying
  105. >Since you knew that it was only a matter of time before that listening became questions your walk turned into a slow jog
  106. >That slow jog turned into a steady jog as the little horses matched your pace
  107. >Suddenly Rarity appeared right in your path, looking at you with a big smile, excitement in her eyes
  108. >"Anonymous, darling! I just so happened to hear that somepony--oh my!"
  109. >You hop over the squiggle tail and just take the fuck off
  110. >You were done
  111. >You were the donest
  112. >You were donion rings
  113. >Almost immediately you could heard the thunderous sounds of a group of horses running at full tilt
  115. >"Anon! Wait!" Twilight yelled. "Could you at the very least tell me the mares names so that I can question them?"
  116. >"Yeah Anon!" Carrot cried. "Why don't you tell us the names of these lucky mares!"
  117. >"Yeah!"
  118. >"Come on, monkey!"
  119. >"What they said!"
  120. >In that moment, as you ran down the street with about fifty little horses screaming at you, you realized that you dad was right
  121. >You HAD grown up to be a fucking weirdo
  122. >A fucking weirdo that would probably mess around with some barnyard animals and get fucked over because of it
  123. >...
  124. >...
  125. >...
  126. >Wonder how that old cunt's doing...
  127. >Since you had longer legs, and you weren't afraid to push over carts or throw unsuspecting bystanders at your pursuers you managed to keep ahead of the pack right as you turned the corner and saw the promised land
  128. >There, at the other end of the street, was SugarCube Corner, all shining and glistening in the sunlight
  129. >If you could run the hundred yards without any of the little horses catching you you'd be in the clear
  130. >Momma Cupcake didn't allow no BULLSHIT in her establishment
  131. >"Anon! You get back here right now so I can ask you some questions!... And maybe take a few samples! FOR SCIENCE!"
  132. "Fuck you and your gay nigger science, Farkle!"
  134. >As luck would have it a little horse, whistling a little horse tune to himself as he minded his own business, walked in front of you
  135. >You'd seen the stallion around town before
  136. >Time Turner you think his name was
  137. >A nice guy whenever you've--forthegoodofthekingdom!
  138. >Time Turner sees you racing toward him too late, the stallion's eyes widening as you picked him up by the scruff of the neck and tossed him over your shoulder
  139. >You heard a surprised yelp, which was followed by Twiggy cursing and the sounds of two bodies slamming against each other
  140. >"OH HORSE APPLES!"
  141. >Bullseye!
  142. >Take that Snarkle!
  143. >You purple pain in the ass!
  145. >Grinning now you run full tilt toward SugarCube Corner, your eyes focused on that little wooden door
  146. >Come on...
  147. >Almost there...
  148. >Almost...
  149. >From behind you you could heard some of the little horses cry out
  153. >You being to serpentine as mare and stallion, unicorn and earth pony and pegasus, young and old, started lunging at you
  154. >One manages to get a hold of one of your legs and another tackles your mid section
  155. >NO!!!!
  156. >NOT NOW!!!
  158. >Gritting your teeth you carry the two horses up the steps of SugarCube Corner
  159. >Your hand grabs the doorknob
  160. >You turn said knob
  161. >And....
  162. "HAH!"
  163. >Crying out in triumph, you throw open the door and step inside
  164. >Almost immediately the ponies holding onto you let go
  165. >They knew their nonsense wouldn't be tolerated here
  166. >"Anon! Honey! I was wondering when you'd come back in here and say hello to this old mare!"
  167. >Though you were panting and sweaty you couldn't help but grin at Mrs. Cake as she stood behind the counter
  168. >HAH!
  169. >Anon- 1
  170. >Ponies- 0
  171. >Walking over to the pudgy earth pony with a pip in your step you place your hands on the counter and smile down at her
  172. "I don't know about this old mare you're talking about, all I see is a young, pretty little thing in front of me.... What? Did you get some new help or something?"
  173. >Like she always did when you said this, Mrs. Cake giggled
  174. >"Oh stop! You're going to make me blush," she said, nudging you with a hoof. "Now, what can I do you for?"
  175. >You open your mouth to answer when you heard the front door's bell jungle
  176. >Looking over your shoulder you see Twiggles and her little group, all of whom look a bit put out, slowly trickle in
  177. >...Shit
  179. >It looked like you weren't going to get away from them that easily...
  180. >...Fuck it
  181. >You still had coffee to get
  182. "...Yeah, could I get a cappuccino with extra milk and two black coffee's with nothing in them to go please?"
  183. >Mrs. Cake nodded with a motherly smile
  184. >"Sure, hon. Why don't you go and have a seat while I get everything ready for you?"
  185. >Looking back over your shoulder you see that Twiggles and her crew had taken up every seat in the house but one
  186. >That one seat being right next to princess book horse herself, who was looking up at you with the hungriest expression that you've ever seen
  187. "...Actually, I think I'll just stand if that's alright with you..."
  188. >Twilight loudly cleared her throat behind you
  189. >"Don't be silly, Anon! Come and take a seat!"
  190. >You open up your mouth to cuss the little putz out but you managed to rein yourself in
  191. >There was no swearing in Momma Cakes' house
  192. "No thanks. I'm good."
  193. >Using her magic, Twilight pulled out the chair for you
  194. >"I insist."
  195. >You cross your arms, frowning
  196. "So do I."
  197. >As the two of you have yourselves a bit of a stare-off, one of the other little horses rolls their eyes and snorts
  198. >"Will you just tell us who you bucked so we can get back to our days?"
  199. "What? You want to know that I gave you mother the time of her life, Thunderlane?" you asked, not breaking eye contact with Twerkle. "I didn't know that you were into that sort of thing but alright."
  200. >From across the room you could hear Snorkle growl
  201. >"If you're not going to tell us then we can just figure it out ourselves!"
  202. >Craining her neck the little princess looked around
  203. >"A good bit of the town's here, if we just--"
  204. >Alright
  205. >ALRIGHT!
  207. >Scowling, you stomp over and grab the broom that the Cakes had leaning on the wall
  208. "Who I want to fu-- have relations with is none of you nosy little horses business! I don't go demanding you tell ME what you do behind closed doors!"
  210. >"Just tell us who you bucked so we tally up the bets!" Someone called
  211. >You stiffen in place
  212. >Did they...
  213. >Were they...
  214. >...
  215. >...
  216. >...
  217. >Did these little horses place bets on who you were going to FUCK?!
  218. >...Alright
  219. >NOW you were going to kill someone...
  220. >Hefting your broom you take a step toward the ponies, ready to purge the unclean, when you hear someone loudly clearing their throat behind you
  221. >"Now Anon dear, what did I say about threatening customers with my broom?"
  222. >You flinch, looking over your shoulder to see Mrs. Cake with a cardboard carrier for your coffees in her hoof, the mare's eyebrow raised
  223. >You look at the broom then at the crowd before sighing, your shoulders slumping in defeat
  224. "...Sorry, Mrs. Cake..."
  225. >Mrs. Cake smiles as you put the broom back, the earth pony walking around the counter and trotting toward you with your coffees
  226. >"Oh don't worry about it dear," she said, giving you your coffees with a smile. "I know how you get in the mornings without your coffee."
  227. >Based Mrs. Cake...
  228. >"Though I bet you're in a much better mood now that you have two beautiful fillies to come home to!"
  229. >...Oh no
  230. >Oh no
  231. >Nononono...
  232. >You try to step away from Mrs. Cake but the mare's too fast, grabbing your free hand with her mouth and gently, but firmly, guiding you toward one of the tables
  233. >The other little horses, seeing that you were trapped with no way out, smiled, a stallion and a mare giving up their seats so that Mrs. Cake could sit you down
  234. >As your captor sat down you looked around the room
  235. >All you saw were smiling faces
  236. >They finally got you and they knew it
  237. >...FUCK
  239. >"Now Anonymous, sweetie, why don't you tell me about the lucky mares?" Mrs. Cakes asked, batting her eyelashes as she leaned toward you
  240. >No
  241. >Nope
  242. >Nada
  243. >You weren't going to do it
  244. >You weren't going to do it
  245. >You...
  247. ~Later~
  249. >You walk back to your house dragging your feet
  250. >Mrs. Cake squeezed the fucking info out of you like a tub of fucking toothpaste
  251. >You ratted yourself out like a bitch
  252. >You were officially the King of the Bitches
  253. >And you weren't a happy camper about it
  254. >...But whatever
  255. >You got the fucking coffee so at least that was something...
  256. >...God fucking damnit...
  257. "I can't believe those fuckers were exchanging bits right in front of me," you grumble to yourself, opening the gate to your fence and walking up to your porch
  258. >Still grumbling, you open your door and--
  259. >"Is that you monkey?"
  260. >Your stomach growls as the smell of breakfast foods wafts through the air
  261. >In all of this excitement and faggotry you had apparently worked up quite the appetite
  262. "Yeah, it's me!" you call, kicking off your shoes
  263. >From the kitchen you could heard Bonbon's irritated snort
  264. >"Took you long enough! Now get in here before me and Lyra start eating without you!"
  265. >The thought to tell your... marefriends about what happened occurred to you but you ignored it
  266. >Telling Lyra and Bonnie that the entire town knew that the three of you were fucking could wait for a little bit
  267. >Right now daddy needed to get something in his stomach
  268. >As you get closer to your kitchen you hear the tell-tale sounds of someone getting their cook on, but as you walked through the doorway you were not ready for what you saw
  270. >There, fussing over pots and pans and wearing an adorable little pink frilly apron, was Bonbon
  271. >...
  272. >...
  273. >...
  274. >...Aw...
  275. >The irritation and embarrassment that had been stewing inside you the whole walk back vanished as you just stood there and watched the adorable, ADORABLE little mare work
  276. >Though you had never expected Bonbon to be much of a chef the mare seemed like a natural in the kitchen, moving from pot to pan, flipping and stirring and toasting with the greatest of ease
  277. >"Nonny!"
  278. >Looking away from Bonbon you see Lyra sitting at your kitchen table
  279. >A table, which by the looks of it, had been already been set
  280. >"Come on and sit down," Lyra said excitedly, patting the seat next to you. "Bonnie's almost done cooking."
  281. >"You better have my coffee you weirdo," BonBon adds, not looking over her shoulder
  282. >You say nothing as you walk over and sit down next to Lyra, placing the coffees right in front of her
  283. >The unicorn makes a happy noise, grabbing her coffee while you set BonBon's coffee down right beside you
  284. >"Thanks, Fingers! This is really going to go great with all that Bonnie's whipping up!"
  285. "...You're welcome."
  286. >Before anyone could say anymore Bonbon started coming with plates filled with food
  287. >Pancakes, eggs, french toast, oatmeal, cereal, even sausage and bacon were set out in front of you, each plate stacked to the brim
  288. >Never in your life had you seen this much breakfast food served at once, and it all looked so GOOD...
  289. >Pulling off her apron and tossing it over her chair, Bonbon sat down on your other side and looked over the bounty before you
  290. >"I didn't know what the hay to make you so I decided to make a little of everything," she grumbled
  291. >You find yourself slowly nodding
  292. "It looks like it..."
  293. >It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was too much food in front of you
  294. >And the shitty thing about that was you weren't even sure that all of this stuff would make good leftovers
  296. >The bacon sure, the pancakes maybe, but the oatmeal? The french toast?
  297. >You had a feeling that that stuff would go bad REAL quick
  298. >...Bonbon had probably emptied your fridge making all of this stuff...
  299. >Which meant that you were probably going to have to go out and get more groceries...
  300. >...
  301. >...
  302. >...
  303. >No one's ever made you breakfast before...
  304. >Well that's not TOTALLY true
  305. >You've had people make you come eggs or toast or something like that
  306. >But never anything like... this
  307. >The scrapping of silverware against a plate makes you look up
  308. >You see that Bonbon's scooping some eggs onto your plate
  309. >"Stop looking at the food with a dumb look on your face and eat it you butt," she demanded, helping herself to some eggs after piling your plate high with them
  310. >You look to your right to see that Lyra's already nomming some french toast
  311. >"Yeah! Come on and eat up, Nonny! The food's great!"
  312. >Looking at both of your marefriends one more time you do as they said
  313. >You eat
  314. >The next hour is spent in silence as you, Bonbon, and Lyra do your best to devour the feast in front of you
  315. >You must have eaten a pound of eggs
  316. >You ate enough bacon and sausage to kill an elephant
  317. >You ate pancakes and french toast until you couldn't eat anymore
  318. >And you drank so much maple syrup that you swore that shit was going to replace your blood
  319. >Though the three of you had tried your hardest to defeat the monster that was this brunch you had barely put a dent in it
  320. >Though it wasn't for lack of trying
  321. >You felt stuffed
  322. >More stuffed than you had felt in a long, long time
  323. >Not so stuffed that you were about to get sick but an afternoon nap was sounding pretty good right now
  324. >Groaning, you lean back against your chair and pop the button off on your pants
  325. "...Jesus Christ was that great."
  326. >Lyra giggled, dabbing her mouth with a napkin
  327. >"Yeah, Bonnie here's a grade-A cook!" she said, smiling at her marefriend, who was glaring at you
  328. >"Did you have to go and stuff yourself like that you pig?"
  330. >You close your eyes
  331. "It was either I stuff myself or half of this stuff was going to go to waste."
  332. >You rub your belly, which grumbled in protest at having this much food dumped in it
  333. >Shush, shush
  334. >No tears
  335. >Only dreams now stomach...
  336. >Though you couldn't see it Bonbon started to fiddle with her hooves nervously, the candy mare looking down at her empty plate
  337. >"...So did you like the food?" she asked quietly
  338. >You crack open an eye to look at the little horse
  339. "The food was great, Bonnie,' you tell her. "Best breakfast I've have in a long, long time."
  340. >It looked like BonBon was about to smile but she just snorted
  341. >"G-Good, and since you like it so much you can clean all of this up."
  342. >Hopping out of her chair, the mare stiffly trotted toward your living room
  343. >"I'm going to go and lay down."
  344. >...You know what?
  345. >That's fine
  346. >It's only fair since she cooked all of this...
  347. >Both you and Lyra watch her go, Lyra giggling the second that she's gone from your sight
  348. >"Don't worry, Nonny, I'll help you clean up."
  349. >You smile at the little horse, slowly getting to your feet with a grunt
  350. "Alright, let's get cleaned up then huh?"
  351. >You and Lyra spend the next half an hour putting the leftovers away and doing the dishes, just chatting and joking with each other
  352. >...Like a couple would
  353. >As your finished up drying the dishes (since Lyra was in charge of washing and rinsing) your stomach settled
  354. >Just a little bit
  355. >But it was still a hell of a lot better than you felt a couple of minutes ago
  356. >"There! All done!" Lyra chirped as you finished drying off the last fork
  357. >You nod
  358. "Yep, all done. Now it's time that we just lay down and let this food digest
  359. >Lyra giggled, nudging your leg with her rump
  360. >"You didn't need to eat all of that, Nonny, even though it was really sweet and I'm sure it meant a lot to Bonnie."
  362. "...I don't know what you're talking about."
  363. >Lyra rubbed herself against you again
  364. >"Sure you don't, Fingers."
  365. >Giggling to herself, Lyra lead you into your living room
  366. >Bonbon was sitting on your couch "human style" leafing through one of your Playmare's
  367. >"You know it's really weird that you have these right?" she asked, not looking up from the magazine
  368. >Walking over to your couch you sit down heavily next to the candy mare, leaning back and just closing your eyes
  369. "I read it for the articles."
  370. >"Read it because their's dicks in it you mean."
  371. >You wrap your arms around Bonbon's shoulder and pull her against you
  372. "Better than being a cunt-licker like yourself," you say, leaning down and kissing her cheek
  373. >Though Bonbon snorted she leaned back against you as Lyra hopped up beside you and snuggled against your other side
  374. >"Hey! What about me, Nonny?" she playfully demanded, leaning up and rubbing her cheek against yours
  375. >You wrap your arms around your other mare, giving her a peck on the lips
  376. >The three of you closed your eyes and just laid there, soaking up each others company and warmth
  377. >It was... nice
  378. >"So did anypony say anything to you when you were in town?" Bonnie asked, nosing your side
  379. >Though the food and the warmth was starting to make you sleepy you cracked open an eye suspiciously
  380. "...And what do you mean by that?"
  381. >Bonbon smiled
  382. >"I think you know what I mean."
  383. >Your mind races
  384. "Wait... so you knew tha--"
  385. >"That everypony would flip out when they smelled me and Lyra on you?"
  386. >Both eyes opening you look over at Lyra, who was refusing to meet your gaze (and the little scamp was fucking BLUSHING too), then back at Bonbon
  387. "Smelled you on... what the fuck are you talking about?!"
  388. >Sighing happily, Bonnie grabbed your hand and guided it toward her furry chest
  389. >"What did you think me rolling around in your clothes was for, dummy?"
  390. >...
  391. >...
  392. >...
  393. >Fucking Bonbon...
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