Tammy

1
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,849
(THE OUTFIELD'S "YOUR LOVE"
PLAYING ON STEREO)

2
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:14,380
Josie's on a vacation far away

3
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,660
Come around and talk it over

4
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,780
WOMAN (SINGING ALONG):
So many things that I wanna say

5
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,180
You know I like my
girls a little bit older

6
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,420
I just wanna use your love tonight

7
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,220
Ooh!

8
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,460
Unh, unh.

9
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,363
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

10
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,365
Unh.

11
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,020
I ain't got many friends
left to talk to

12
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,205
Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble

13
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,300
You know I'd do anything for you

14
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,860
Stay the night but keep it undercover

15
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,410
I just wanna use your love tonight

16
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,260
Oh, yeah

17
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,127
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

18
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,980
(TIRES SCREECH)

19
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,404
(THUD & GLASS SHATTERING)

20
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,405
(GROANS)

21
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,811
Shit.

22
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,122
What the hell?

23
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,980
Oh, man. Not another one.

24
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,643
I shouldn't have been looking
for my ChapStick, buddy.

25
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,571
You're just stunned, I think.

26
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,020
Yeah. I mean, you got the
wind knocked out of you.

27
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,300
I did that on a jungle gym.

28
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,644
Had the wind knocked out of me too.

29
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,060
I'll give you a couple seconds.
You'll be fine.

30
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,561
Yeah.

31
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,700
Come on.

32
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,060
Maybe you just need a little...

33
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,801
You want mouth-to-mouth, man?

34
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,820
Maybe that'll help.

35
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,580
I just... I don't want
you to bite my mouth.

36
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,082
(BLOWING AIR)

37
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,449
There you go. That's helping.

38
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,100
Okay, come on.
Let's walk it off, man.

39
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,020
Get up on all fours. You can...

40
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,921
(DEER GRUNTS THEN TAMMY SCREAMS)

41
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,620
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

42
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,009
Attaboy! Run!

43
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,620
Look at you go! There you go!

44
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,804
Got a good gait.

45
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,020
Got a good gait. Yes!

46
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,524
(THE OUTFIELD'S "YOUR LOVE"
PLAYING ON STEREO)

47
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,366
Your love...

48
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,380
(LOCK CLICKS)

49
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,340
KEITH: Where are my chicken sandwiches,
Larry? Come on, let's go.

50
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,180
Somebody get these. Oh, my God.

51
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,860
Tammy, get over here.

52
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,020
You're late again.
Do you own a watch much?

53
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,460
I know I'm late. A deer
jumped out of nowhere.

54
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,460
KEITH:
You look like crud. Oh, my God.

55
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,849
Get off the floor.

56
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,140
Tammy, my office. Now.

57
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,928
TAMMY: I'm coming, Keith. God.

58
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,167
Tammy, do you know
how I got to where I am?

59
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,420
Sucking dick and kissing ass?

60
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,580
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

61
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,420
Excuse me, Keith.
We need some more ketchup.

62
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,420
Okay. English, though, Javier.
This is America.

63
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,366
- It was English.
- That wasn't English.

64
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,500
- Is that blood?
- TAMMY: Yeah.

65
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,380
A deer hit my car on the way in.

66
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,740
- You should maybe see a doctor.
- No kidding.

67
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,140
KEITH: Okay, thanks, Javier.
That's great advice. See you later.

68
00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:00,020
Tammy, I'm terminating your
employment at Topperjack's.

69
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,540
You've gotta be shitting me.

70
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,460
No, I'm terminating your employment.
I need your badge.

71
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,540
What ba...? You mean my name tag?

72
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,700
- Yes, exactly. I need your badge back.
- TAMMY: It's not a badge.

73
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,540
It's a name tag, and you made
me buy it with my own money.

74
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,780
That's company policy.
I need it back.

75
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:19,080
Well, I need you to stop sweating through
your shirts and grossing everybody out.

76
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,660
It is hot. And when
it's hot, people sweat.

77
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,980
- Not like that. Not like that.
- KEITH: It's how it is.

78
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,820
- That shit's medical.
- KEITH: Listen!

79
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,500
Tammy, you have already been fired.
I have already terminated your employment.

80
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,340
You are at least 40 seconds fired...

81
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,340
so please exit the Topperjack's.

82
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,140
Fine. You know what?
I'm gonna give you this.

83
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,380
- Tammy.
- TAMMY: I got it here.

84
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,740
- KEITH: It's your middle finger.
- No.

85
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:43,940
Poom.

86
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,580
Read between the lines.

87
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,180
I knew that you were gonna
do it, so it's not as good.

88
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,620
- I get it, Tammy.
- Poom. You get that?

89
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,420
- KEITH: What is that?
- A little version of this.

90
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,241
Hey, don't let a deer
hit you on the way out.

91
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,460
You dick. You know what?

92
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,340
Don't let these ketchup packets
get stuck in your gross armpits.

93
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,340
- You'll have to buy new shirts, you dick.
- Those are Topperjack's supplies.

94
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,260
You are no longer an
employee of Topperjack's.

95
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,684
- Oh.
- Yeah, that shit's contaminated now!

96
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,060
For overtime due, Keith.
Overtime due.

97
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,780
- Tammy, just get out.
- Enjoy the special sauce.

98
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,340
KEITH: Do not touch the
Tower Deluxe burgers.

99
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,820
Those buns are still good.
Just change the hats.

100
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,180
Yeah.

101
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,365
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- I'm calling the police!

102
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,860
Uh, just thought you should know
that the meat here is real shitty.

103
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,900
- Oh, God.
- Real, real, real shitty.

104
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,820
- That's the truth.
- That's not true.

105
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,660
That's not chicken. I don't know
what it is, but it's not bird.

106
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,780
It's 110 percent chicken.

107
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,580
Bird doesn't come
out of squeezy tubes.

108
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,340
My gut fear,
it's mostly dick and beak.

109
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,500
- She's disgruntled.
- You know what?

110
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,700
- WOMAN: Oh.
- KEITH: Aah, my elbow!

111
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,380
TAMMY: Poom.

112
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,300
Later, loser.

113
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,564
(CHUCKLES)

114
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,443
Oh, are you...?

115
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,620
Shit.

116
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,884
You kidding me?

117
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,322
(METAL CLAN KING)

118
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,202
Aw, man.

119
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,486
Shit.

120
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,540
TAMMY: A little help? A little help?

121
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,940
A little help! Come on!

122
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,020
Yeah, karma.

123
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,841
Yeah, we'll see.

124
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,900
TAMMY: God. Hey, Greg. I'm home.

125
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,060
Think your ringer's off.
I've been calling you.

126
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,580
That asshole Keith fired me.

127
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,060
Can you believe that shit? Like,
who would wanna work there?

128
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,580
(ON STEREO) How much I feel

129
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,500
Feel for you, baby

130
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,286
What's going on here?

131
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,580
Hey, Tammy.

132
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,003
Wow, you're home so early.

133
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,300
- I'm sorry you got fired.
- TAMMY: Shut up, Missi.

134
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,260
Why are you in my house
making my husband dinner?

135
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,420
Uh, actually, I made her dinner.

136
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,620
You're gonna get your ass kicked.

137
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,820
You hungry? You wanna
eat my fist for din...?

138
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,660
Ow! Shit.

139
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,100
I am so sorry, Tammy.
You startled me.

140
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,660
Keep your dirty fingers
out of my mouth.

141
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,620
You scratched my tongue.

142
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,260
I'm leaving you, Greg.

143
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,604
I'm taking the household money
and getting out of here.

144
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,100
God! Nice, Greg!

145
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,260
You have to cheat with the neighbor?

146
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,260
You can forget about me
feeding your stupid cats, Missi.

147
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:36,540
- I'm divorcing you, and I'm suing you, bitch.
- For what?

148
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,249
For being an asshole.
That's what I'm suing you for.

149
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,100
Why is there only $63 in here, Greg?

150
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,489
Whatever. I'm keeping all of it.

151
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,980
- Ow! Shit.
- Are you okay?

152
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,086
I'm fine!

153
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,131
I feel great. Pervs.

154
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,970
Assholes.

155
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,363
You two deserve each other.

156
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,300
Shit.

157
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,780
Goddamn it.

158
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,780
Just don't touch anything.

159
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,521
And don't let her touch my underwear.

160
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,640
You know, you never made
me dinner. Not even once.

161
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,888
And it smells really good too.

162
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,580
Yeah, I'll see you in court!

163
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,780
I hope you both choke
on your shitty dinner!

164
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,487
Assholes.

165
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,980
Missi Jenkins is a whore!

166
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,740
And I kicked her ass!

167
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,220
Kicked her stupid ass.

168
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,580
Don't call me, Greg,
when she dumps you!

169
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,980
Because I won't call you back!

170
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,420
No fucking way!

171
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:58,220
I'm gonna be too busy
fucking models and shit!

172
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,085
Mom!

173
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,660
Mom!

174
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,820
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

175
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,129
TAMMY: Mom, open the door!

176
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,340
Greg's cheating on me, Mom.

177
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,740
- What?
- Yeah, I know.

178
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,620
What a jerk, right?

179
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,460
What happened?

180
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:22,060
I went home after a shitty day,
and Greg and Missi Jenkins...

181
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,660
are having, like, a really romantic
dinner at our dining room table.

182
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,980
And Greg made it.

183
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,380
Okay, then I'm sorry.
That's terrible.

184
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,300
I'm not exactly thrilled about it myself.
I just need to borrow your car.

185
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,860
Why? Where's yours?

186
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,740
Mine is smoking on Highway 13 because
a deer jumped out in front of me.

187
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,940
Can I just have your car so I
can get out of this shitty town?

188
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,540
I will drive you to work.
I'm not giving you my car.

189
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,740
I don't need you to drive me
to work, okay? Keith fired me.

190
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,180
Little prick.

191
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,260
- Are we really gonna do this again, Tammy?
- What?

192
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,500
DEB: Every time something bad
happens, you throw a fit...

193
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,620
say you're leaving, you never get
more than 10 miles outside of town...

194
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,580
you start feeling sorry for yourself,
and you come back and throw another fit.

195
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,700
- That's not true.
- It's a pattern.

196
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,060
It's not a pattern.

197
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,260
- It is.
- That's not even what a pattern is.

198
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,180
A pattern is a thing that
comes in pairs of two.

199
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,660
You just don't know science.

200
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,140
A pattern is a series
of things or events...

201
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,700
that repeat themselves on
and on, sometimes into infinity.

202
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,900
That's what a galaxy is.
It's not a pattern.

203
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,380
- Fine.
- God.

204
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,540
If you don't wanna help me,
just give me the keys to Dad's truck.

205
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,580
- No. Absolutely not.
- Fine. Then I'm gonna take Grandma's car.

206
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:34,180
- No, you're not. She is old and not well.
- Then she doesn't need a car.

207
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,820
Right? You answer that.

208
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,220
- Don't go. Tammy.
- Grandma, I need your car keys.

209
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,725
Yep, I heard everything,
and I am ready to go.

210
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,820
I'm taking your car.
I'm not taking you.

211
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,340
- You're not getting my car unless you take me.
- TAMMY: No.

212
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,980
- Oh, yeah. What?
- DEB: Mom.

213
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,060
- What, you packed a bag?
- PEARL: Yeah.

214
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,780
Wait a minute. No one
is going anywhere.

215
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,180
I am. I'm just not taking
this asshole with me.

216
00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,380
Hey. You're not exactly my first choice
for a traveling companion either...

217
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,620
but you're the best bet I have
to get out of this stupid house.

218
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,540
I'm sorry, Deborah, but it is
a stupid house. And I hate it.

219
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,860
I love you, but I am not gonna
die in this house alone.

220
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,807
You're not gonna die here alone.
You're gonna die here with me and Don.

221
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,900
- That's a shitty thing to say.
- That's a very shitty thing to say.

222
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,100
I meant it in a good way.

223
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,300
- What's a good way?
- DEB: Oh, my God.

224
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,660
Never mind.

225
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,340
- Shitty.
- Very shitty.

226
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,620
Your doctor says you
have to take it easy.

227
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,860
Dr. Lansing is an imbecile.
Do we have a deal?

228
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,140
No offense, but no fucking way.

229
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,700
I have $6700 in cash.

230
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,931
Bullshit. Prove it.

231
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,051
Yeah. That's gonna do it.

232
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,820
- DEB: Mom. Tammy.
- You snooze, you lose.

233
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,651
DEB: This is ridiculous.

234
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,540
Don't call me at 2 a.m.
looking for a ride.

235
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,460
- Yeah, I won't.
- Mom. Please tell me you have your pills.

236
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,220
- Oh, Deborah, unclutch.
- Goddamn it. I'm gonna call Brookview.

237
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,580
- I swear to God.
- You do what you need to, baby.

238
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,127
Bye, Mom.

239
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,740
Not a good idea.

240
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,740
It's a little swollen. It's okay.

241
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,004
(HORN HONKING)

242
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,620
What's Brookview?

243
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:24,340
It's an old folks' home.
Like a prison for old people.

244
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,524
Horrible place.

245
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,131
I don't know where I'm going.

246
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,562
I've always wanted
to go to Niagara Falls.

247
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,441
Okay.

248
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,010
That was a stop sign.

249
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,802
Yeah, I'm aware of that. I know that.

250
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:48,020
All right, do you think we could just
try to be pleasant? What do you say?

251
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,300
- How about a beer?
- No.

252
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:54,441
- Um, whiskey.
- Jesus, no.

253
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,740
Oh, my God.

254
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,540
You're pregnant.

255
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,860
I'm driving a car, Grandma.
Do you see what I'm doing?

256
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,060
Just because you can't see
through your Magoo goggles...

257
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,660
doesn't mean I'm not
doing what I'm doing.

258
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,500
All right. I'm sorry. Sorry.

259
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,940
God.

260
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,020
You know what? Screw it.
Give me a beer.

261
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,330
Oh. Yes. Okay, here you go.

262
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,900
One little beer can't hurt, right?

263
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,561
(PEARL CHUCKLING)

264
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,647
(BOTH WHOOPING)

265
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,180
(BOTH SHRIEKING)

266
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,340
- Lock the door.
- Spin it, spin it, spin it.

267
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,540
I got it.

268
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,620
(LAUGHING)

269
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,121
(SCREAMING)

270
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,060
- TAMMY: Hello, cows.
- Ha-ha-ha.

271
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:49,260
I'm sorry you're so tasty, cows.

272
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,780
I'm gonna fuck you up
between two sesame buns.

273
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,020
(BOTH LAUGHING)

274
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,524
Whoa! That's a bump. Aah!

275
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,580
(LAUGHS)

276
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,740
I stuck the landing!

277
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,380
(LAUGHS)

278
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,042
You wanna go ride a cow?

279
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,210
(GRUNTS)

280
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,925
TAMMY: Oh, shit.

281
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,287
- Where the hell are we?
- Shh, shh, shh. Come here.

282
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,420
When I was a young girl,
I used to feed deer...

283
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,980
right out of my hand at my grandparents'
cabin. And there was this one deer...

284
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:39,380
Hyah! Hyah! Get out of here!
Get out of here.

285
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,848
You never did appreciate nature.

286
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,140
Not when it totals my Corolla.

287
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,404
No. Thank you.

288
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,722
How the hell did we even get in here?

289
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,020
Oh, my God.

290
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,460
- You know what?
- What?

291
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,860
I think this is some X-Files shit.

292
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,420
- For sure.
- I don't know.

293
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,540
You know what? If we die out
here, we're just raccoon food.

294
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,500
- Ha, ha.
- It's not funny. I saw that on a show.

295
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,500
- Let's go. Get in the car. We're going home.
- Home?

296
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,260
- Yeah. Home.
- What?

297
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,740
You're always talking about how much
you wanna get out of that town...

298
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,620
and we finally are out of it.

299
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,500
And then one little thing happens,
and you just wanna just run on back?

300
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,820
(ENGINE STARTS)

301
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,527
Come on. Let's go.

302
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,844
Fine.

303
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,820
I'm not surprised.
You always were a quitter.

304
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,780
- I'm not a quitter.
- Yes, you are.

305
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,647
Yeah? Really? Does a quitter do this?

306
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,169
- Aah! God, I got it stuck.
- It's all right. Go ahead. Push.

307
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,740
- That's it. Little bit more.
- It's crushing it.

308
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,500
- That's okay. Crush it. You got it.
- I am not a quitter!

309
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,340
- You're a doer.
- I am a doer.

310
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,860
That's it. That's it.

311
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,380
(ENGINE REVVING & TAMMY SCREAMING)

312
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,980
You got it. You got it.

313
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,900
- Do it. Do it. There you go.
- Aah!

314
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,084
I am not a quitter!

315
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,940
- PEARL: Oh, Shit.
- Aah!

316
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,680
Who's a quitter now?

317
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,140
- TAMMY: Aah!
- PEARL: Whoa.

318
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,540
TAMMY: Oh.

319
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,485
Sorry about that!

320
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,368
You should wear a helmet. FYI.

321
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,087
Whoa.

322
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:23,900
- Oh, God.
- "Mark Twan National Forest."

323
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,220
- Where are we?
- PEARL: We're in Missouri.

324
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,340
We went in the wrong direction.
And you do know who Mark Twain is, right?

325
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,205
I know who he is.

326
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,660
Good guy.

327
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,448
He's a good guy.

328
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,980
Okay, Tammy.

329
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,500
- Tammy, listen up.
- What?

330
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,940
Well, you're at a crossroads, right?

331
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:50,180
You could change the
trajectory of your whole life.

332
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,820
You've got time. I've got money.

333
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,740
You don't wanna go back to that town.
You deserve to have a little fun.

334
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,140
Right?

335
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,300
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

336
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,802
(ALL CHATTERING)

337
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,445
There's no alcohol on the dock.

338
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,380
It's my juice.

339
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,531
(WHOOPING AND LAUGHING)

340
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,242
(WHOOPING)

341
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,260
One hand!

342
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,020
- Well, that's not safe.
- No.

343
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,340
I am ripping shit up!

344
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,940
Yeah!

345
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,060
Enjoy my spray!
Because I'm spraying you!

346
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,260
Slow down!

347
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,980
(TAMMY WHOOPS)

348
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,900
Look at that. She is so brave.

349
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,860
Coming in hot! I am
coming in smoking hot!

350
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,380
Smoking hot!

351
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,580
(WHOOPS)

352
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,402
Might be too hot!
Throttle's jammed! Too hot!

353
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,820
Oh, my God. Tammy? Tammy!

354
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,980
Tammy! Oh, my God.
You scared the shit out of me.

355
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,460
I can't believe this.

356
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,282
Aw, shit. I lost my glasses. Shit.

357
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,940
Are you kidding?
Forty-eight hundred dollars?

358
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,340
Is that your scam? Huh? You like
taking money from little old ladies?

359
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,020
You break it, you buy it.
You're lucky I don't call the police.

360
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,940
That machine malfunctioned on me.
You're gonna be hearing from my lawyer.

361
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,380
All right, just stop it, Tammy.
Here you go, $4800.

362
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:27,020
Don't give him cash. Put it on your card
and dispute it later. I do it all the time.

363
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,780
I don't believe in credit cards.
Cash is real.

364
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,380
You should be charging shit
like crazy, because you're old.

365
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,940
- By the time they come to get it, you might not...
- PEARL: Go in the car.

366
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,100
- ...still be here. You could be dead.
- Get in the car.

367
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,047
- I'm trying to help you with your business.
- Get in the car.

368
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,820
- Hey.
- TAMMY: Dick.

369
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,300
She's an idiot.

370
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,929
Muscle shirts are for muscles.

371
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,201
I said I'm sorry about the 4 grand.

372
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,860
Four thousand 800 bucks.

373
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,569
"Four thousand 800 bucks."

374
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,611
Pay you back.

375
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,842
There we go.

376
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,180
How much you put in?

377
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:37,140
Thirty bucks of gas, and we won $10.

378
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,180
Ooh, halfsies.

379
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,580
Hey, hang on, I wanna
clean out the junk in this...

380
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,860
On the floor. Wait a minute.

381
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,330
There's garbage all over the floor.

382
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,006
You're taking your old-people
pills and stuff, right?

383
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,011
Yeah. I don't need them,
but, um, I'm taking them.

384
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:07,780
Wait a minute, let me
get up all this junk.

385
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,406
We should frame this.

386
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,731
Okay, come on, get in.

387
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,690
- PEARL: I have to pee.
- TAMMY: Why didn't you go at the gas station?

388
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,210
- I'm gonna pull over. You can go in the woods.
- PEARL: Oh, no. No way.

389
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,763
TAMMY: So why do you wanna
go to Niagara Falls, anyway?

390
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,300
Well, I was supposed
to go with my daddy.

391
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,420
He was gonna take me
when I was about 8 or 9.

392
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,940
But he got too busy working.

393
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,980
And then he got too busy
getting sick and dying.

394
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,900
- So I never did get to see it.
- Oh.

395
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,060
And now...

396
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:01,180
some 60-odd years later...

397
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:06,641
I'm gonna get to see Niagara Falls
with you, with my granddaughter.

398
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,700
Don't you think
that's pretty special?

399
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,220
I think so.

400
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:18,540
TAMMY: Are you sitting on a couch or a toilet?
Because this is like a therapy session.

401
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,980
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

402
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,211
Hey! Come here!

403
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,967
Yeah?

404
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,969
Look at this thing.

405
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,940
- Do you believe that?
- No.

406
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,740
- TAMMY: Right?
- PEARL: Right.

407
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,481
TAMMY: It's amazing. America, huh?

408
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,340
- Really, yeah.
- Yeah.

409
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,081
It says he carved it with a chainsaw.

410
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,580
- Do you believe that?
- I do.

411
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,700
I can't believe that's possible.
You do that with a chainsaw...

412
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,900
and create that kind
of artwork, the end.

413
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,980
You just... I think you should just
slam that chainsaw down and be like:

414
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,620
"Look What I did."

415
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,100
Yeah, it's... It's cool. It's okay.

416
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,380
- I like it.
- "Okay"? It's majestic.

417
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,940
- Heh.
- TAMMY: It's not "okay."

418
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,660
I mean, that is super cool.
You're just jealous.

419
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:07,420
- Oh, please.
- What've you ever done that's that cool?

420
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,660
- Uh...
- Nothing. Short list.

421
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,322
I watched Neil Armstrong
walk on the moon.

422
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,580
- Wait, on his bike?
- That's Lance.

423
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,780
I don't care which brother it is.

424
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,620
That's still lame compared to this.

425
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,804
Boo.

426
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,420
I had a six-month relationship
with one of the Allman Brothers.

427
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,820
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

428
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,500
Right. Yeah, me too. Heh.

429
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,700
- Bullshit.
- Watch your language. It happened.

430
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,247
TAMMY: Oh, my God.

431
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,020
Did you really have an
affair with Gregg Allman?

432
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,460
No. With Duane.

433
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,700
Who?

434
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,680
Duane Allman. The brother.

435
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,980
- Did you at least get to meet Gregg?
- Of course. I got to meet him a lot.

436
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,180
I was on the bus for
most of their first tour.

437
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,841
- What?
- PEARL: Yes.

438
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,580
I have to say that's, like,
one of the coolest things...

439
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,420
anyone in our family has
ever, ever, ever done...

440
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,491
like, going back to when
we were cave people.

441
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,220
Probably is, actually. I never
thought of it that way.

442
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,724
(SCATTING THE ALLMAN BROTHERS
BAND'S "MIDNIGHT RIDER")

443
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,780
(SINGING)
I got to run to keep from hidin'

444
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,300
- Remember that?
- That's good.

445
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,420
And I'm bound to keep on ridin'

446
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,340
- And I've got one more
- PEARL: One more

447
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,020
Silver dollar

448
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,380
And, like, he goes low.

449
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,700
BOTH:
I ain't gonna let 'em catch me, no

450
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,900
Ain't gonna let 'em...

451
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,780
Go low.

452
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,980
BOTH: Midnight rider

453
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,420
- TAMMY: Get your chin out. You do it...
- Rider

454
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,740
- Not, like, in a weird way.
- Rider

455
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,260
(BOTH SCATTING)

456
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:45,380
- And I got one more silver dollar
- One more silver dollar

457
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,940
Little lower. You're off. Listen.

458
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,260
BOTH: Let you, no

459
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:53,700
Not gonna let 'em catch
the midnight rider

460
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,060
- That's it. Better. Better.
- Der-ner-ner der-ner-ner, bom

461
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,005
(BOTH SCATTING)

462
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,100
You know, one time, I got
fingered by Boz Scaggs.

463
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,340
Tammy.

464
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,810
No, it's okay. It turns out it
wasn't actually Boz Scaggs.

465
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,380
- PEARL: Okay.
- TAMMY: It's a good bird.

466
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,850
PEARL:
Yeah. Sweetie, it's a great bird.

467
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,380
PEARL: Yes, we're here.
We found it. Yep, we're here.

468
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,060
You know what? I can smell it from
the parking lot. I think you're right.

469
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,260
She says this is the
best BBQ in the city.

470
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,500
Then let's have dinner
and get off the phone.

471
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,260
Oh, no, sweetie. We can't. Thanks.

472
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,700
- We already checked in to a hotel.
- Give me my phone. Bye.

473
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,620
- We'll see you tomorrow.
- Bye.

474
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,180
- Love you. Bye.
- Don't hit me.

475
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,140
- What are you doing?
- TAMMY: Give me my phone.

476
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,540
- We're not going to see Lenore.
- Why?

477
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,780
Because hanging out with an old lesbian
is not my idea of a good time.

478
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,060
Oh, don't be silly.
She's an amazing woman.

479
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,660
She's remarkable.
She just lives life.

480
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,380
She just grabs it by the horns.

481
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,820
I mean, you could learn a lot
from her. If you paid attention.

482
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,580
- Are you...?
- What?

483
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,780
- Don't do that.
- What?

484
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,660
- Ugh.
- What?

485
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,340
What are you, gay for Lenore?
You love her so much?

486
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,020
She is my cousin.

487
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,420
My God. Would it be so
terrible if I were gay?

488
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,700
I don't care if you're gay...

489
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,580
Can we please just stop
talking about your twang?

490
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,003
- I'm very proud of my twang.
- Ugh!

491
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,380
(PLAYING "JOHN HEN RY")

492
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,620
Mm, mm. I am loving
this brisket. How's yours?

493
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,620
It's really good. I love the bark.

494
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,700
- And I would know because I'm a bark shark.
- Mm.

495
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,660
BIG AL (SINGING):
Sittin' on his mama's knee

496
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,580
There are some juicy-looking
gentlemen in here tonight.

497
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,340
- Ha, ha.
- I think we might just get lucky.

498
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,420
- I might.
- You might.

499
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,020
Don't know about you.
It'd show Greg, wouldn't it?

500
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,740
Yeah.

501
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,580
Ah. You know what?
It's too easy for me.

502
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,180
I mean, I can go out there,
and I can get any guy in this room.

503
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,900
- Really?
- TAMMY: I don't know what it is.

504
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,290
But guys have always been drawn to me.
Kind of like flies on shit.

505
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,520
You might in the future
wanna say "bees to honey."

506
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,610
Why?

507
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,980
What is this power? I would like to
see this power in action right now.

508
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,140
(CHUCKLES)

509
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,860
- Yeah? You ready?
- Yes.

510
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,620
All right. You better get a
notebook out and a sharp pen.

511
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,580
- This is gonna be a goddamn clinic.
- I can't wait. You show me, girl.

512
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,620
- Pay attention.
- Uh-huh.

513
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,220
Go ahead.

514
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,643
I got two. I got two.

515
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,809
You wanna buy me a drink
and slide some parts around?

516
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,460
I'm sorry. What?

517
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,180
- Like that? Is that what you want?
- MAN: I, um...

518
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,091
- What?
- TAMMY: Unh.

519
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:09,660
Wrong answer.

520
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,403
You wanna buy me some
drinks and get up in this?

521
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,527
I'm gonna pass, but thanks.

522
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,940
Well, fuck you, and fuck you too.

523
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,602
Poom! Fuckers.

524
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,540
Stupid.

525
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,220
I think they were together.
That must be why.

526
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,900
Oh. Now, that makes sense.

527
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,460
You can't work your
magic on that, right?

528
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,700
I mean, I'm magic, but not...

529
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,340
It's cool. I didn't get...

530
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,340
Hey, I'm cool with
your lifestyle choice.

531
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,660
- Yeah. Gay it up.
- What?

532
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,620
I didn't know.

533
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:53,860
Here you go.

534
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,900
- TAMMY: Thanks.
- To your honey.

535
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,084
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

536
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,140
(BOTH LAUGH)

537
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:04,860
- Oh. Hoo.
- PEARL: Mm, mm, mm.

538
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,860
Now, let's turn your
honey back to the music.

539
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,860
TAMMY: "Turn my honey."

540
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,460
Mm.

541
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,246
I just got that.

542
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,780
I just got "bees to honey."

543
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,100
It does sound better
than "flies on shit."

544
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,020
- Yeah.
- Because "flies on shit" would...

545
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,420
- Mean you're...
- Yeah. All right.

546
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,340
I'm gonna keep that cataloged
because I use that a lot.

547
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,420
- Okay.
- Whoo!

548
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,540
Mm, mm, mm.

549
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,100
(TAMMY WHOOPING)

550
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,840
TAMMY: I like your hat!

551
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,500
BIG AL: When he was a new baby boy

552
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,780
Sittin' on his mama's knee

553
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,523
He picked up a hammer
And a little piece of steel

554
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,220
Three o'clock.

555
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,940
Got something on the radar at 3...

556
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,540
That's 9.

557
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,860
- Where are you putting your 12?
- Straight ahead.

558
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,488
Look at 3. Three, 3, 3.

559
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,380
Oh, boy.

560
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,500
He's coming over. He's coming over.
He's coming over.

561
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,420
- All right.
- EARL: Hi there.

562
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,780
A little birdie told me you
might need some more beer.

563
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,420
Well, that's one smart little birdie.

564
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,820
(EARL CHUCKLES)

565
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,401
You two sisters?

566
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,260
No. She's like 100.

567
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,420
(PEARL KICKS TAMMY)

568
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,447
- Ow.
- I'm Earl, and this is my boy.

569
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:29,620
Howdy. I'm Pearl,
and that's my Tammy.

570
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,300
- Hey.
- Hey.

571
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,380
- Oh. Good grip. Thank you.
- BOBBY: Mm-hm.

572
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,900
What's your name, Good Grip?

573
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,940
- I'm Bobby Tillman.
- Yeah, you are. Huh.

574
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,700
Yeah, I am.

575
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,486
Yeah, you are.

576
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,660
What do you do for a living?

577
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,500
I run my dad's farm.

578
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,020
- Cool.
- Right.

579
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,620
Hey, Connie, can you bring
some shooters over here?

580
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,202
This lady would like
to get intoxicated.

581
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,451
- That'll work, won't it?
- Oh.

582
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,860
So farm, huh?

583
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,420
BOBBY: Yep.

584
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,220
- Dancing juice. That's what we need.
- Thank you.

585
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:11,088
(SINGING) Hey, babe, here I am
I'm a man on the scene

586
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,980
I can give you what you want
But you've got to come home with me

587
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,220
I have got some good old lovin'
And I got some more in store

588
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,300
When I get through throwin' it on you
You've got to come back for more

589
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,580
Boys and things that come by the dozen
That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'

590
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:31,220
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause, Mama, I'm so hard to handle, now

591
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,688
- It gets around
- Whoo!

592
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,140
(CROWD CHEERING)

593
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,846
BIG AL: All right.

594
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,500
Ha-ha-ha. All right. Thank you very much.
We're gonna take a little break.

595
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,740
TAMMY: One more time!

596
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,780
That was amazing.

597
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,220
Whoo!

598
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,420
We gotta take a break!

599
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,140
Whoo!

600
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,380
Oh, my God.

601
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,900
Ha, ha. Oh!

602
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,129
You need a cool-off. Right?

603
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,780
I am so sweaty. I was
ripping it up out there.

604
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,940
Everybody was kind of really
just working as a unit.

605
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,900
I kept calling you in.
Did you see me?

606
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,860
- You looked great out there. Yeah.
- TAMMY: Oh.

607
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,580
- Well, I can move.
- Yeah.

608
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,969
Ha, ha. You're so bad.

609
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,300
- Dad.
- Mm? What? What?

610
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,780
Don't you think it's time to go?

611
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,140
Well, look, Bobby,
let's not be rude, okay?

612
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,130
I haven't finished my drink yet.

613
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,540
(EARL LAUGHS)

614
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,220
Now that's gonna take
a little bit of time.

615
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,460
(EARL & PEARL LAUGHING)

616
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:35,860
I'm going to the bathroom.

617
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,060
When I come back, we're leaving.
I don't care if you finish your drink.

618
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,460
ALL: Ooh.

619
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,980
(ALL CHUCKLE)

620
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,980
I'm gonna go pick up that
hint he just dropped.

621
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,620
(CHUCKLES)

622
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,963
Hey, is this the bathroom line?

623
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,649
(BOBBY SIGHS)

624
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,500
Um, what are you doing?

625
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,162
Just wondering where
your wife is tonight.

626
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,563
- I'm not married.
- Let's light this candle.

627
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,820
Whoa. Okay. All right. Come on. I do
not want your tongue in my mouth.

628
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,260
Then where do you want it, man?

629
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,420
(DOOR OPENS)

630
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,060
No, I'm gonna go to
the bathroom. You just...

631
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,131
- You're welcome.
- Okay.

632
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,802
Not a chance.

633
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,849
Good set, man.

634
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,100
Thanks a lot.

635
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,100
Just ditching me in there.

636
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,940
Can't find my grandma anywhere.
Do you know where she is?

637
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,180
I do, unfortunately.

638
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,365
Oh! God! Hey!

639
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,620
(PEARL GIGGLING)

640
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,980
- PEARL: Just go away. We're fine.
- God.

641
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:55,740
I think she took my keys.

642
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,811
Did you take my keys, Grandma?
Are you kidding me?

643
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,500
Come on.

644
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,340
Dad. Cut it... Oh, man.

645
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,660
- PEARL: Ee!
- Oh, my God.

646
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,891
- PEARL: Oh!
- I don't wanna know what that was.

647
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,561
Ugh.

648
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,060
That's a shitty way to end the night.

649
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,005
You're telling me.

650
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:21,723
Sorry I, you know, made that...

651
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,129
little pass at you...

652
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,321
- ...in there.
- "Little pass"?

653
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,180
- Tsk.
- That was kind of aggressive.

654
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:31,860
Damn it, I'm saying I'm sorry.

655
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,820
No, it's okay. I was flattered.
It was just surprising.

656
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,606
You know.

657
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,020
Honestly, for the night as a whole...

658
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,729
it wasn't the worst
thing that happened.

659
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,530
Do I say "thank you" to that?

660
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:49,220
- Yeah, there's a compliment in there.
- In there somewhere.

661
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,846
BOBBY: Oh, God. Don't look.

662
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,300
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- I just told you not to look. Why did you look?

663
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:55,620
I tried to save you from that.

664
00:34:55,720 --> 00:35:00,205
Because by saying it,
it's like an invitation to look.

665
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,340
It's like if somebody says,
"Does this smell weird to you?"...

666
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,020
and they put it out,
you lean in and you smell it.

667
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:07,340
You don't smell it.

668
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,780
But you do. You lean
in and you smell it.

669
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,580
I would not smell something if
somebody told me not to smell it.

670
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,900
- I can guarantee you that.
- I don't think that's true.

671
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,060
(EARL GRUNTS)

672
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,420
- Dad. All right, enough!
- PEARL: We're only at first base.

673
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,420
Oh, boy, here comes second.

674
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,764
BOBBY: Dad, this is not
fair to Mom. Come on, man.

675
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,460
- "Mom"?
- It's complicated.

676
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,380
Yeah, you think? I think so.

677
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,380
- Hey, Grandma!
- EARL: Sorry, nobody's home.

678
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,380
- That asshole is married!
- Come on, Dad.

679
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,724
- TAMMY: He's married!
- EARL: Sorry, darling, the inn is closed.

680
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,500
I'm sorry, but he is an asshole.

681
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,900
I agree. He's a little bit
of an asshole. I can't...

682
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,100
(BOTH SIGH)

683
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:45,380
Will you do me a favor?

684
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,900
My mom is home alone and she's sick,
and I need to get back with her.

685
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,121
So do you have like a pen or
something I could borrow real quick?

686
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,967
Yeah, I think so.

687
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,340
All right. Look. If they come out
of there at a certain point...

688
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,820
just give me a call and
I'll come pick him up.

689
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,660
Here.

690
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,650
Thank you.

691
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,681
I knew you were into me.

692
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,171
I got your digits.

693
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,460
Sorry, that was stupid.
That was dumb.

694
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:15,940
BOBBY: All right, Tammy.

695
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,300
Thanks for holding down the fort.
I appreciate it.

696
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,406
Yeah, I'll watch him.

697
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,860
Appreciate it.

698
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,340
- Thanks.
- Good luck.

699
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,207
Thanks. Bye, Bobby.

700
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,460
Bye.

701
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,060
PEARL: Oh! Yes, Earl.

702
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,500
You know who she fucked?
Duane Allman.

703
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,940
Yeah, she fucked the
wrong Allman Brother.

704
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,100
Enjoy that.

705
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:49,060
- It's 119, Grandma. I said it. 119, 119.
- 119. 119.

706
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,500
Could you not do...?
Can I just have my shit back?

707
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,500
No, no. Come on. A gentleman
always carries a lady's things.

708
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,380
- Oh, bingo. 119. You're right. 119.
- Yeah, great.

709
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,540
So you wanna come in for, um...

710
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,660
- ...some color TV or sex?
- Yeah. Mm.

711
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,060
No. We had a deal.

712
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,820
Yeah. Bullshit.
Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

713
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,300
You are too old to be this strong.

714
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,980
Open this door, Grandma. Goddamn it.

715
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,660
Hey, Tammy.

716
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,460
- We need some ice, baby. Okay?
- Yeah. Fuck you, Earl.

717
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,660
- Fuck you.
- EARL: Aw. Ow.

718
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,003
- Come on.
- TAMMY: Oh. Aah!

719
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,440
Oh, shit.

720
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,180
I gotta...

721
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,569
I gotta pee.

722
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,881
All right. Let's go for B2.

723
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,140
You piece of shit.

724
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:52,641
(BEEPS)

725
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,287
I paid for you.

726
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,766
Come on, you tasty motherfucker.

727
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,420
Yeah, now who wins?

728
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,160
Me.

729
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,925
Tammy?

730
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:39,801
Hey, Tammy.

731
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,611
Tammy.

732
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,243
Tammy, what are you doing out here?

733
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:49,700
Oh.

734
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,123
They wouldn't let me in the room.

735
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,089
You slept outside?

736
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,060
Oh, my God. Here, let me
help you up. Come here.

737
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:00,820
- Thanks.
- Yeah. Of course.

738
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,845
Oh. You're all dirty.

739
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,571
She took my keys...

740
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,380
and I just didn't want them driving
off and doing something stupid.

741
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,201
That's why I gave you my number.
You should have called me.

742
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,020
Oh, I didn't think you meant that.

743
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:21,491
I said it. I meant it. Okay?

744
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,540
All right, Dad, come on. We gotta go.

745
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,180
I'm sorry about all this.

746
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,940
Well, I mean, you didn't do it.

747
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,140
I'm the one who's supposed to
be keeping him out of trouble.

748
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,540
I don't think you're very good at it.

749
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:40,001
- Ha, ha. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm tired.
- No, I think you might be right.

750
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,180
Oh, God.

751
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,420
Tammy, what are you doing out here?

752
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,968
All right. Let's go, boy.

753
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,567
Dad. Truck's this way.

754
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,564
Gotcha.

755
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,489
- Well...
- Well.

756
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,324
I guess this is goodbye again.

757
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,180
Yep.

758
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,967
I'll take care of that one.
You take care of that one?

759
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,524
Okay.

760
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,530
- See you, Bobby.
- See you, Tammy.

761
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,407
Thanks again.

762
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,845
Yep.

763
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,480
- SERVER: Get that out of your way. Sure.
- I am so hungry. Thank you. Mm.

764
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,780
It's been such a long time since
I've had a good servicing.

765
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,740
You know what I mean? Ha, ha.

766
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,811
Pass me the ketchup. Please.

767
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,206
You know, I didn't bring you
on this trip to babysit you.

768
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,180
You are on this trip because of me.

769
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,140
Because of my car and my money. What's
left of it. So you just watch your mouth.

770
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:08,780
Yeah, I'm too busy watching you screw
crusty old men in dirty hotel rooms.

771
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,180
Oh, God, here we go. You gonna
blame me for everything, like always?

772
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,380
I do. I blame you for shoving me
out of a hotel room last night...

773
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,260
and letting me sleep
outside like a dog.

774
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,420
You're on your second Bloody Mary.
It's not even 10 a.m.

775
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,260
This is vegetables.

776
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:26,700
I blame you for packing up your shit and making
me come home from school when I was 10...

777
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,660
and finding an empty room,
that's what I blame you for.

778
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,460
You know how shitty that was for
a little kid? You left me all alone.

779
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,180
- Your parents were there.
- TAMMY: It's not the same.

780
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,967
You were my best friend,
and you just left me.

781
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:44,980
I'm probably gonna need a tetanus shot
because I got nipped by a raccoon last night.

782
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,900
All right. Tammy, I know I've done
some wrong things in my life...

783
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,540
but you don't know everything.

784
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,620
I know I don't need you,
and I don't need your money.

785
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,700
- But I'm gonna take your car.
- What?

786
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,740
- Let's see how you like getting left.
- Don't you leave me here.

787
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,020
You cannot leave me here.
You come back here.

788
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:03,340
All right, now sit down.

789
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,491
TAMMY: Anybody wanna screw
my grandma? Just get her a drink.

790
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,170
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

791
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,900
- Hi, Mom.
- DEB (OVER PHONE): Tammy, put Grandma on.

792
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,100
Uh, she's in the bathroom right now.

793
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,180
Tammy, she left all
of her pills here.

794
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,820
High blood pressure, heart,
everything. She's diabetic.

795
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,580
She cannot go unmedicated.

796
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,340
Do you understand what I'm saying?

797
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,300
- I get that.
- Listen to me.

798
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,007
She thinks she can handle it,
but she can't.

799
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,740
- Tammy.
- Yeah, I know she can't.

800
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,180
- Bye, Mom.
- I don't think you do, because you...

801
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,820
Tammy. Don?

802
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,970
Shit.

803
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,962
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

804
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,609
You gotta be kidding me.

805
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,020
One. Two.

806
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,648
One.

807
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,681
- Two.
- I told you you can't drink in here.

808
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:43,100
- PEARL: One. Two.
- I'm calling the cops.

809
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:47,660
- You don't have to call the cops. I got her.
- Oh. Well.

810
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,400
Look who came back.

811
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,180
Yeah. I came back.

812
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,180
- You did it, huh?
- What?

813
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:55,740
Drunk by 11.

814
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:59,005
Mm. Ah. What do I win?

815
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:01,491
Car ride with me.

816
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,740
Come on. I'm pretty
sure you've had enough.

817
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,220
You know, this is real cherry.

818
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,020
And guess what my secret
ingredient is. Try some.

819
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:12,580
Is it whiskey?

820
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,500
No. It's whiskey. Ha-ha-ha.

821
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,540
- All right. Let me just...
- PEARL: No.

822
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,220
- TAMMY: Let's go.
- PEARL: This is mine.

823
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,260
- I need my beer.
- TAMMY: You got beer?

824
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:22,820
Yeah. I got beer.

825
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,820
- They're still in the store.
- PEARL: Bye.

826
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:26,580
Okay, we're leaving right now.

827
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,607
- Just get the drunk out of here.
- TAMMY: You know what?

828
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,660
- All right. Watch it.
- PEARL: Oh, hey.

829
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,340
- Hi. Thanks for the beer.
- TAMMY: What?

830
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,420
Yeah, nice try.
I'm not buying you beer.

831
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:42,420
No, you don't have to. I already bought it
for them because these are my new friends.

832
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,260
This is Jesse. And the girl.

833
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,380
And we have an arrangement...

834
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:51,885
where I'm getting them the beer, and
they're gonna give me a ride out of here.

835
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,980
How? On their bikes?

836
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,820
The fucking old lady promised
us a beer, so give it to me.

837
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,420
Don't swear in front of my
grandma, you piece of shit.

838
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,380
Hey, you're being a real bitch, lady.

839
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,060
Don't say "lady." I'm not
that much older than you.

840
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,740
What do you care? If you don't give
us beer, we're gonna turn to drugs...

841
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:12,820
I hope you do drugs. I want you to do
bath salts and then eat her face off.

842
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,380
- Just give it to me.
- TAMMY: No!

843
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,900
- I'll take that.
- Cool it, Jesse.

844
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:20,300
Don't shake the beer. It's gonna explode.
I thought you were cool. Stop it, Jesse.

845
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,340
- I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
- Neither am I.

846
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,380
(JESSE & PEARL GROAN)

847
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,407
Get off me! Get off me,
you fucking rat!

848
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:30,380
Yeah, nice jeans shorts.

849
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:31,660
(SIREN WAILS)

850
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,420
Oh, fuck. The cops!

851
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,220
TAMMY: Hey!

852
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,371
Don't. That's my grandma's beer!

853
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,731
Oh, God. I'm sorry!

854
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,660
- I'm sorry. That...
- Uh-uh.

855
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,260
Put your hands up.

856
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,940
All right. All right.

857
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:54,001
Get your hands up.

858
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:59,086
Two pens. One half-eaten Roles.
One lighter.

859
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:02,500
Hairbrush. One necklace.

860
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:03,980
Two bags of trail mix.

861
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,260
Forty-two dollars and...

862
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,220
10, 20...

863
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,644
23 cents. Sign here.

864
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,011
TAMMY: Yeah.

865
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,722
(TAMMY SNORING)

866
00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,927
(STOPS SNORING)

867
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,611
(TAMMY SNORTS)

868
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,500
- What are you doing?
- You were snoring and then you stopped.

869
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,460
I just wanted to check and see
if you were still breathing.

870
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,060
I'm sorry.

871
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,780
Well, keep your fingers
out of my nose.

872
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,523
No, I mean I'm sorry
for landing us in here.

873
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,660
Well, it's not like you're the
worst person in the world.

874
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,561
I mean, you're close, but...

875
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,171
I cheated on Greg.

876
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,044
With the ice-cream man.

877
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,260
You had intercourse
with Jerry Miller?

878
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,620
No. I didn't do it With him.

879
00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:17,805
I just let him play with my boobs.

880
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,081
You didn't do it for the
free ice cream, did you?

881
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,045
Not at first.

882
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,460
I don't know why I did it.

883
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,780
I think at first,
I just wanted attention...

884
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:33,601
and then I kind of got
hooked on Klondikes.

885
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,850
I don't know.

886
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,881
Maybe I'm the worst
person in the world.

887
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,804
Oh, I don't think that.

888
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:46,849
What's worse than Jerry Miller?

889
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,060
I tried to sleep with your father.

890
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,700
What?

891
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,487
I tried to sleep with your father.

892
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,540
Ew.

893
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,940
Nothing happened.
Don was a perfect gentleman.

894
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:06,206
He put me back to bed before your mother
got home. Nothing happened. Nothing.

895
00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:11,660
Look, I was not in my right mind for
many years because of the drinking...

896
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,500
and when I realized that I'd
stepped over the line...

897
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:19,500
where I was actually thinking of sleeping
with my own daughter's husband...

898
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:24,608
well, then I just didn't know
what could happen and...

899
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,329
That's why I left.

900
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,420
Oh, my God.

901
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,380
- Grandma.
- No, don't. Ow. They're fine.

902
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,700
- TAMMY: My God, they look really bad.
- They're fine.

903
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,540
- MANNIS: Tammy Banks?
- TAMMY: Yeah.

904
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:46,020
- Let's go. Bail's been posted.
- Okay. Let's go.

905
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:50,220
Yeah. I bailed you out, but I'm
gonna stay a little bit longer.

906
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,404
Just there's a little, um...

907
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,660
small glitch.

908
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:56,605
MANNIS: Let's go.

909
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,140
We're charging her with
possession of oxycodone.

910
00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:03,100
Well, she's got prescriptions
for everything. She's old.

911
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,620
She had 32 oxycodone pills,
and they were not prescribed to her.

912
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:09,043
Judge set her bail at $3000.

913
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,980
We don't have that kind of money.
Jesus, she needs to get out of there now.

914
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,100
You know she's got diabetes
and probably tons of other shit.

915
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,900
I've got diabetes.
Glen's got diabetes.

916
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,300
Diabetes is a very
manageable condition.

917
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,460
I don't give a fuck about Glen.
I'm sorry. I don't. I don't know you.

918
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,660
My grandma needs to
get out of there now.

919
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,685
Then you better get $3000.

920
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,849
- How am I supposed to do that?
- It's not my problem, lady.

921
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,420
- Yeah, thanks a lot.
- CURTIS: You're welcome.

922
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,460
- I didn't mean "thank you."
- I didn't mean "you're welcome."

923
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,964
You're done here.
You better leave while you can.

924
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,980
- Yeah, she did. Yes.
- She did?

925
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,460
(PHONE RINGING)

926
00:49:58,560 --> 00:49:59,940
(BOTH LAUGH)

927
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,260
- GREG (OVER PHONE): Hello?
- Hey, it's me.

928
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,140
Do we have, like, a Christmas account
or a savings account with...?

929
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,130
(MISSI LAUGHS OVER PHONE)

930
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:09,726
Is she there?

931
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,890
GREG: Uh, yeah.

932
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,289
Okay, bye.

933
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,340
DEB (OVER PHONE): How much?

934
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,820
- Sixteen hundred dollars.
- What?

935
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,420
No, I'm not gonna fund
your spring break.

936
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,420
Why hasn't your grandma
called me back?

937
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:41,340
Could you just trust
me for once, okay?

938
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,260
Can I just have the money?

939
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,060
What's wrong? Is it Grandma?

940
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,180
- No. I told you she was fine.
- Oh, God.

941
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:49,980
I told you this was a bad idea.

942
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,900
But you didn't wanna listen to me.
I hate to say it, but...

943
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,540
I told you so.

944
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,340
I know you're right. But I
know how to fix this now.

945
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:58,500
How are you gonna fix it?

946
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,411
(DOOR OPENS)

947
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,140
Hello? Tammy? Tammy?

948
00:51:03,240 --> 00:51:06,644
I gotta go. I know what I'm gonna do.

949
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:11,049
I can do this.

950
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,180
Be a bad-ass.

951
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,604
I am a bad-ass. I'm a bad-ass.

952
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,242
(POP MUSIC PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY OVER SPEAKERS)

953
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,247
TAMMY: Aah. My finger.

954
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,041
(CLEARS THROAT)

955
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,530
(TAMMY CLEARS THROAT)

956
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,970
Freeze. Nobody move.

957
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:32,380
(GRUNTS)

958
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,300
- Shit. Don't move.
- Okay.

959
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:35,961
TAMMY: Don't move.

960
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,449
Unh. Dang it.

961
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,460
(GRUNTS)

962
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,928
Don't even think about it.

963
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,020
I'm gonna need you to
put all the cash in a bag.

964
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,780
- Okay.
- TAMMY: Hey, you. Get out here.

965
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,020
Keep your hands where I can see them.

966
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,580
Hey, just make it...
I only need 1600, really.

967
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,620
- You don't want all of it?
- TAMMY: No, just 1600.

968
00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:01,380
My grandma's still got 1400.

969
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,740
- Just make it 1650. Round up.
- Okay.

970
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,940
TAMMY: You, give me some pies.
Give me some of the good pies. Hey!

971
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:08,340
- What?
- TAMMY: Jesus.

972
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,780
I said, give me some of those pies.

973
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:15,020
Take them from the back so they're fresh.
All right, you, go to the other register.

974
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,060
- Get the higher bills. Go.
- BECKY: Okay, okay.

975
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:18,740
TAMMY: Reach to the back, man.

976
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,322
Don't give me shitty pies.
You'll regret it.

977
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,122
No screwing around.

978
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,900
I got you both covered. All right?

979
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,220
But excuse me.
That's your finger, though.

980
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,500
TAMMY: Is it? Is that just my finger?

981
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,620
I'm not sure. Is it?

982
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:37,980
TAMMY: Shut up.

983
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,020
I would... For your
own sake, don't get sassy.

984
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,060
- Okay. Sorry. Yeah.
- TAMMY: Okay?

985
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,020
- Just get pie. You want some pies?
- I like pie.

986
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,820
TAMMY: Well, get a pie out
for you, get a pie out for...

987
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,300
If you change your attitude,
I'd like to give you some pies. On me.

988
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,340
No, thanks. I don't care for them.

989
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,180
TAMMY: Goddamn it.
What did we just talk about?

990
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,620
I have a gun on you.
I offered you pie.

991
00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:02,380
He likes pies.
He's got a gun to his face.

992
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:06,020
Anything I say, he's gonna like.
I ask you. You want some pies?

993
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:07,980
I like pies.

994
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,140
TAMMY: Come on,
that's what I'm talking about.

995
00:54:10,240 --> 00:54:12,380
I feel like we're
getting somewhere...

996
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:15,780
and under different circumstances
this would probably work out.

997
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,740
We'd probably be, you know, good pals.
Like, see movies and, you know.

998
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,140
- Yeah.
- TAMMY: Like, find a hot tub or...

999
00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,563
I have one at my apartment complex.

1000
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,300
TAMMY: Oh, man.

1001
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,500
Okay. That would be...

1002
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,731
Fingers crossed we meet up again.

1003
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:33,620
- Yeah.
- TAMMY: All right.

1004
00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:35,900
Put a stack of pies
for her, a stack for me.

1005
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,860
- I think this is all of it.
- TAMMY: Just get over there.

1006
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,647
- Go. Don't walk right toward the gun.
- Sorry.

1007
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,540
TAMMY:
Put pies in there. Put them in.

1008
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:45,740
Don't creep up on me like that.

1009
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,620
Larry, seriously.

1010
00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:49,900
- You like apple?
- TAMMY: I do like apple.

1011
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,580
But don't make me... I don't wanna
have to choose between you.

1012
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,180
Choose Larry.

1013
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:59,140
TAMMY: Larry, she's telling
me to take you out.

1014
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:01,740
It's just, you're so
much older, you know?

1015
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,380
- TAMMY: Oh, my gosh.
- I'm a veteran.

1016
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,020
- TAMMY: That's amazing.
- BECKY: Yeah.

1017
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,260
TAMMY: I'm gonna have
to put you in the cooler.

1018
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,540
Come on, let's go.
Today. Get your pies.

1019
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:12,900
Let's go.

1020
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,927
Larry, it's a real honor.
I wanna thank you for your service.

1021
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,500
Here.

1022
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,980
Don't know if it's a blanket or
a towel, but it'll keep you warm.

1023
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:26,405
I'll call the cops in 10 minutes
and let them know you're in here.

1024
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,885
Damn it.

1025
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,330
Shit. Come on.

1026
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,804
Oh...

1027
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,810
Come on.

1028
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:17,380
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1029
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:18,980
Oh.

1030
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,300
Ow.

1031
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,848
(TIRES SCREECHING)

1032
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,100
Where do I go to bail somebody out?

1033
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:34,806
- CARTY: Name?
- PEARL: Tammy?

1034
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,850
- Where have you been?
- What?

1035
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,420
- Uh, never mind. Yeah.
- Okay.

1036
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,001
Let's go.

1037
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:49,700
- Well, slow down, slow down.
- Okay, I'm sorry. Okay?

1038
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,220
How did you even get out?

1039
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:52,500
Well, I called Earl...

1040
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,460
and he very generously had Bobby
wire the bail money to the station.

1041
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:58,610
- Really?
- Mm-hm.

1042
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:03,380
What are you doing with oxy?
I mean, whose pills are those?

1043
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,580
Well, they're mine.
My foot was hurting...

1044
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:11,340
and my pills weren't working, so I
asked the Robinson boy if he had any.

1045
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,980
- Eugene? Eugene's a drug dealer.
- PEARL: Uh-huh.

1046
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:15,740
Oh, no.

1047
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,580
Yeah, he stands on the street and
sells drugs in little sandwich bags.

1048
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,020
- Did you think he was a pharmacist?
- PEARL: He's organized.

1049
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:23,700
TAMMY: Yeah, so was Hitler.

1050
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,220
MAN (ON TV): --courthouse grounds
over the next two years...

1051
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,300
and upgrade those grounds throughout.

1052
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,580
In other news, there was a robbery
at the Oaktree Topperjack's.

1053
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:35,620
Two employees were held at gunpoint.
Michelle Li joining us live at the scene.

1054
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:36,780
Oh, shit.

1055
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:40,940
Authorities are describing this
person as 5'2", white, female.

1056
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:45,540
The robber had a navy T-shirt featuring
a bear with "Mahalo" written on it.

1057
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,460
The robber was last seen driving...

1058
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,460
an older-model Cadillac,
hauling a Jet Ski.

1059
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,060
The suspect made off with $1600...

1060
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,325
- That's quite a coincidence. Huh?
- LI: ...and 13 signature pies.

1061
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:59,580
Yeah, and she was super bossy.

1062
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:03,340
But she did give us pies,
so that was cool.

1063
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,490
LI: We're certainly
glad that you're sa...

1064
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,140
What have you done?

1065
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:12,610
Sit down. Right now. Sit down.

1066
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,564
Well?

1067
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,340
- Well, your feet were really puffy...
- Yeah.

1068
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:23,060
...and they looked really messed up.

1069
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:27,724
I didn't know how else to
get that kind of money.

1070
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:30,460
And I was afraid if I didn't
get you out of there...

1071
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:34,726
something bad was
gonna happen to you.

1072
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:39,450
And I just always screw stuff up,
and I didn't wanna...

1073
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:43,220
- I didn't wanna screw that up.
- Oh, sweetie.

1074
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:46,140
My sweet, sweet, sweet girl. Oh.

1075
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,005
I'm sorry.

1076
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:54,620
Look at me. You have to
take that money back.

1077
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:58,408
If you don't take it back,
I'm gonna turn you in myself.

1078
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,321
You gotta take the money back.

1079
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,689
You gotta take the pies back.

1080
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:07,820
All right?

1081
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,980
I can't really take
all the pies back.

1082
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:11,740
Why not?

1083
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,420
Oh, okay.

1084
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:17,208
- I kind of got into them.
- Okay.

1085
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:21,008
You're more bad-ass
than I ever thought.

1086
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,580
I think you take after
your grandma after all.

1087
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:27,570
Hmm?

1088
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,660
All right.

1089
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:31,260
- We'll fix it tomorrow.
- Yeah.

1090
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,489
We'll fix it.

1091
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,140
- I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

1092
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,220
- I'm not wearing it.
- I just made it for you.

1093
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,260
It's full of grease. Look at this.

1094
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:48,460
- Can you put it on before someone sees us?
- You realize how much it clogs your veins...

1095
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:50,780
- TAMMY: Put it on. You're killing me.
- All right.

1096
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:52,740
TAMMY:
You have to argue about everything.

1097
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,368
PEARL:
Oh, that's kind of calming, actually.

1098
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,940
Just throw the money through the
window and we'll get out of here.

1099
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:03,569
TAMMY: All right. Fine. Here we go.

1100
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:07,380
(SCREAMS)

1101
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:11,100
- TAMMY: Oh, God. No, I'm returning it.
- PEARL: She's returning the money.

1102
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,340
- TAMMY: I'm returning the money to you.
- I'm calling the police.

1103
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,060
Oh, no. We're gonna need more pies.

1104
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:19,820
TAMMY: I'm not robbing you.
I'm giving it back.

1105
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,740
God, stop freaking out. Stop crying.

1106
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,500
I'm returning this to you.

1107
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:29,561
PEARL: Listen carefully.
Keep the car running.

1108
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:37,620
No, just relax. It's okay.
Everything's normal. It's cool.

1109
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:41,180
My, uh, bandit partner, she just
accidentally robbed you last night.

1110
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:42,740
She didn't really mean it.

1111
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:45,460
And here's the money back.
No hard feelings.

1112
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:47,166
Are you the grandma?

1113
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,180
PEARL: Look right here.

1114
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:54,889
None of this happened.
None of this happened.

1115
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:58,980
Just relax. None of this happened.

1116
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,940
Oh. What are you doing?

1117
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,900
- TAMMY: You said "Come a-running."
- PEARL: I said "Keep the car running."

1118
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,940
- TAMMY: You need to be more articulate.
- PEARL: I have a bag on my head.

1119
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:10,660
And by the way, why does mine have no
expression and yours has a smiley face?

1120
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,980
TAMMY: It's not smiling.
I'm showing tiger teeth.

1121
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,340
PEARL: Oh, I thought it was
a mustache and a smile.

1122
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,140
- TAMMY: Just go. Go, go.
- PEARL: Come on, let's get out of here.

1123
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:20,722
TAMMY: Don't be a hero!

1124
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:24,340
- Hey.
- TAMMY: Hey. Where's Larry?

1125
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,900
- He has the day off. He's pretty shaken up.
- TAMMY: Oh.

1126
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,300
Just tell him hi.

1127
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:30,881
Okay.

1128
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,180
TAMMY:
Watch the curb, watch the curb.

1129
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:36,980
(KATHLEEN SOBBING)

1130
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:40,100
Oh, Jesus, she's crying up a storm.
Somebody go hug her.

1131
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:41,940
It's okay, Kathleen.

1132
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,442
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1133
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,329
TAMMY: Oh, my God! Ha-ha-ha.

1134
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:50,442
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

1135
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:54,980
Niagara Falls, here we come!

1136
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,700
Not in this car. We're gonna go
down straight and then take a right.

1137
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,884
- What?
- Yeah.

1138
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,860
PEARL: Oh, Lenore.

1139
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,660
- Hey.
- Hey. It's been too long.

1140
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:20,900
PEARL:
Too long. Sweetie, you look so great.

1141
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,900
Aw. It's great to see you.

1142
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,700
- PEARL: Come here.
- Aw. Is this little Tammy?

1143
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,220
Look at you.

1144
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:34,220
Oh. Darling, last time I saw you,
you were knee-high to a grasshopper.

1145
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,940
- Yeah, I'm taller.
- LENORE: Yes, you are.

1146
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,100
- You don't remember me, do you?
- No, I do.

1147
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,500
- You wanna see some ID? Family album?
- TAMMY: Ha, ha.

1148
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,540
- She got a sense of humor?
- Yes. Sometimes.

1149
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:46,420
- Oh, darling. How's your mom?
- TAMMY: Good, I think.

1150
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:49,460
You know, not real thrilled
with us at the moment.

1151
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:51,420
Yeah, Pearly filled me in.

1152
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:53,380
You knocked over a Topperjack's?

1153
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,940
- Grandma.
- Lenore's cool.

1154
01:02:57,040 --> 01:03:00,046
That the vehicle you
perpetrated your crime with?

1155
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:01,900
- TAMMY: Yeah.
- LENORE: Okay.

1156
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,260
This is what we're gonna do.
Get in there and take everything out.

1157
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,980
Clean everything out of it,
all the evidence, okay?

1158
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:09,340
You're on the lam.

1159
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,260
You're a fugitive from justice.
Think about it that way.

1160
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,300
- Jesus.
- And we'll pull that trailer off.

1161
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:17,580
- And I'll pop those plates, okay?
- Okay, what do you want me to do?

1162
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,460
Oh, honey, why don't you hunker on back
down there in that RV, put your feet up?

1163
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,500
- I got this covered.
- Okay.

1164
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,740
- Alrighty.
- All right.

1165
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:27,241
Ow.

1166
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,260
Four dollars a gallon.

1167
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,460
Thanks, Obamacare. Ugh.

1168
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,260
- I don't think this is such a good idea.
- LENORE: I do.

1169
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:39,860
You wanna go to prison
for robbing a store?

1170
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:42,260
Well, I returned the money.

1171
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,060
Well, I'm not a lawyer...

1172
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:47,860
but I don't think you want the
police getting ahold of this car.

1173
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:49,805
(GRUNTS)

1174
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,684
TAMMY: Shit.

1175
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,340
I wouldn't stand there if I was you.

1176
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,460
Oh, man.

1177
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,140
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

1178
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:03,820
Oh, my God.

1179
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,288
- LENORE: Buckle up.
- Oh, my God.

1180
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,089
Oh, holy shit.

1181
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:43,282
Oh, I am so happy
every time I come here.

1182
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,100
Susanne.

1183
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,660
- Hi.
- Hi, Pearly.

1184
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:50,340
PEARL: Oh, it's so good to see you.

1185
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,140
So good to see you.

1186
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:53,340
Isn't that precious?

1187
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:54,500
Yes, I do remember you.

1188
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,500
SUSANNE: Hey, Tammy.
I haven't seen you in ages.

1189
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:58,540
- Welcome, welcome.
- Thanks.

1190
01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:02,140
- Holy shit, you guys are loaded.
- Tammy, that is so rude.

1191
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,860
Oh, what? This is like
Falcon Crest shit and stuff.

1192
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:07,780
I thought you owned a pet food store.

1193
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,980
Yeah, well, I own 22 of them.

1194
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:11,300
- No.
- Yeah.

1195
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:14,780
- Wasn't it, like, Martha's or Mabel's?
- Merlin's.

1196
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,380
- TAMMY: Why Merlin's?
- Because I dig wizards, man.

1197
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,380
- Oh, my God, I do too. I love wizards.
- Get out of town.

1198
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,460
I like them because they can
blow shit up with their fingers.

1199
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:27,140
SUSANNE: Tammy, have you ever been
to a lesbian Fourth of July party?

1200
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:30,530
- TAMMY: Not that I know of.
- SUSANNE: Well, they are fun. Come on, Penny.

1201
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,180
LENORE: So let's hear
this again. I'm fascinated.

1202
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:35,900
I just... I meant it...

1203
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:39,820
I meant it as a compliment.
I said you were super hot.

1204
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:41,700
You know what I mean.

1205
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:43,900
When I think of what
a lesbian looks like...

1206
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,529
- I think of somebody who looks more like...
- Like me?

1207
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:51,340
- Ha, ha.
- Personally, I prefer the term "labisian."

1208
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:52,980
(ALL CHUCKLE)

1209
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,540
- We should talk about that shirt.
- Yeah, okay.

1210
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,820
- I love this shirt.
- I know, but it's time to give it a little break.

1211
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:02,140
- What are we gonna do for the party?
- Please don't wear that shirt to the party.

1212
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:03,980
Uh-oh. You're gonna doll me up...

1213
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:07,580
and then I'm gonna have to be beating
the ladies off with a lesbian stick.

1214
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:09,969
(LAUGHING)

1215
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:15,249
(OVER SPEAKERS) This is the time

1216
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:19,243
This is the time
Now it's time to go

1217
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:24,060
PEARL: Mm. There you are.
Look at you. Oh, my gosh. Wow.

1218
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:26,660
You look so softened.

1219
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:30,540
Oh. I don't know. Susanne made
me put on Lenore's shirt.

1220
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,100
It actually looks
better on you than her.

1221
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:36,046
Look at you. Oh, my gosh.

1222
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:38,445
So nice.

1223
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:40,780
Well, thanks.

1224
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:42,500
Hey, I don't wanna be a bummer...

1225
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:45,980
but I just wanna say something
in a super-loving way...

1226
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:48,448
but could you not get
shithouse tonight?

1227
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:53,367
Oh. Sure. Easy-peasy.

1228
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,420
- I mean it.
- PEARL: Okay.

1229
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:58,460
- So you wanna dance?
- No, they'll probably think we're a couple.

1230
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,100
- Oh, it's too late for that. Ha, ha. Come on.
- TAMMY: Ha, ha.

1231
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:03,460
- Look at you. I love it.
- Really?

1232
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,962
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

1233
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:12,020
(OVER SPEAKERS) I can't do nothin, girl
Without somebody gawkin'

1234
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:15,220
I used to think that it was me
But now I see it wasn't

1235
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:18,166
(WHISPERS) Pearly! Pearly! Pearly!

1236
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:21,940
- Oh, I need your help with something.
- Is something hurting?

1237
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,140
No, no, no. Oh, my gosh,
you're a little sweaty, huh?

1238
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:28,020
- I'm killing it on the dance floor.
- I know, you're dancing hard.

1239
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:30,522
Well, let's just try to glow less.

1240
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:32,860
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Cool off. Oh, my goodness.

1241
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,362
Look who it is.

1242
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:38,020
Hey, Tammy.

1243
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,820
- What are you guys doing here?
- Pearl invited us.

1244
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:44,500
Pearly, where's the dance floor
and the bar? Not in that order.

1245
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:46,380
- PEARL: This way, baby.
- TAMMY: Grandma.

1246
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:49,565
- Sweetie, have fun. Bye.
- See you later, son.

1247
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:53,500
Well, that was fast.

1248
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,980
I gotta say, your mom and dad have
gotta have a real weird setup...

1249
01:07:58,080 --> 01:08:00,323
- ...because I don't get it.
- Heh.

1250
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:03,620
They've actually been
separated for a long time.

1251
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:05,940
And she's been sick
for quite a while...

1252
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:08,860
and he still takes care of her...

1253
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:11,140
so it's kind of complicated.

1254
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,860
Yeah. It's probably complicated.

1255
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:18,081
- Anyway...
- Kind of spiffed up, aren't you?

1256
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:22,260
I just put on, like,
a shirt and pants. I'm not...

1257
01:08:22,360 --> 01:08:24,100
Maybe a little aftershave?

1258
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:27,100
Is that what I'm kind of smelling?

1259
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,340
I put on some cologne.

1260
01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:34,260
- You put on man perfume to come and see me?
- No, I didn't put on ma...

1261
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:35,580
TAMMY: Hmm? Ha, ha.

1262
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,220
- I think you did.
- BOBBY: Come on. I'm gonna get you a drink.

1263
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:41,660
It's kind of a vanilla.
Like a little...

1264
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:43,820
It's not vanilla, it's regular.
It's just...

1265
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:45,460
- TAMMY: I don't know.
- Come on.

1266
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:48,380
I know. I know what it is.
You smell like a cookie.

1267
01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:50,140
Shut up. I don't smell like a cookie.

1268
01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:51,780
- TAMMY: I think you do.
- BOBBY: Come on.

1269
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:53,780
(OVER SPEAKERS)
Now you shouldn't even get into

1270
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,700
Yeah. Oh.

1271
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:59,900
Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

1272
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:02,209
Yeah.

1273
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:06,060
(KOOL & THE GANG'S "GET DOWN
ON IT" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

1274
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:07,580
(BOBBY CHUCKLING)

1275
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:09,740
How you gonna do it
If you really don't wanna dance?

1276
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,540
- Does that smell weird?
- No.

1277
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:12,740
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

1278
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:15,140
- I told you.
- Oh! You made me smell it.

1279
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:16,820
- I told you.
- Why did I do that?

1280
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:20,780
Because I told you, if somebody
says, "Does this smell weird?"...

1281
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:23,500
- I don't wanna hit anybody.
- What was that?

1282
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,380
It's a dog cookie. Ha, ha.
I mean, a dog biscuit.

1283
01:09:26,480 --> 01:09:29,100
You tricked me, Tammy.

1284
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,284
It's because I'm tricky.

1285
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,740
I actually don't think you're tricky.
You're kind of a straightforward person.

1286
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,820
It's one of the things
I like about you a lot.

1287
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:40,765
Oh.

1288
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,140
Thanks for bailing my grandma out.

1289
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:54,780
It was really nice.

1290
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,681
Of course. But, I mean,
anybody would have done it.

1291
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:00,780
No, not really.

1292
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,940
They wouldn't have. So it was...

1293
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:04,646
Thanks.

1294
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:07,489
Thanks.

1295
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,485
Well, I'm glad I could help.

1296
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:16,180
I like your hair like this,
by the way. It's nice.

1297
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:20,100
I don't know. Susanne did
this weird clampy thing.

1298
01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:21,940
No, it's pretty.

1299
01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:24,540
You look really pretty.

1300
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:26,371
Thanks.

1301
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:36,291
I know this is stupid,
but I'm still married.

1302
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:42,084
And it's a shitty marriage...

1303
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:46,420
and it's over, but it
wasn't all Greg's fault.

1304
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,002
I was kind of an awful wife.

1305
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:54,420
- You know, I just don't wanna add to the...
- No, it's okay.

1306
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:56,940
- It's, you know... I'm sorry.
- No. Don't.

1307
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,420
You're right. I didn't
mean to, you know...

1308
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:01,331
Anyway.

1309
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:05,460
You know, I get it.

1310
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:09,860
You know, you get a little taste
of Tammy, and then you...

1311
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:12,660
kind of come clamoring back for more.

1312
01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:14,860
- You get it? Really? Ha, ha.
- Yeah.

1313
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:18,011
I'm like a Cheeto.
You can't eat just one.

1314
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:20,180
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1315
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:23,140
Tammy, that's Lay's potato chips.
That's not Cheetos.

1316
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,780
No, not for me. I love a Cheeto.

1317
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:27,740
Tammy, Bobby. Come on, you two.

1318
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:30,140
You're gonna wanna see this. Come on.

1319
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:32,020
- Oh, all right.
- Okay.

1320
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:34,460
- SUSANNE: Come on. Chop-chop.
- TAMMY: We're coming.

1321
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:36,700
Get your asses down here.

1322
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:38,780
TAMMY: Hey, what did
you do with the Jet Ski?

1323
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:41,020
LENORE: Viking burial. It's trashed.

1324
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:42,700
Viking burial.

1325
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,220
ALL: Viking burial!

1326
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:48,405
(CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

1327
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:55,500
Okay. Would you like to do
the honors? It's your craft.

1328
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:58,140
Yeah, but you love
blowing shit up, so...

1329
01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:00,860
Yeah, I do. God help me,
I do so love it.

1330
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:02,220
- Go, baby.
- Get on, Lenore.

1331
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:03,820
The tribe has spoken.

1332
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:06,180
Although we did not
have the opportunity...

1333
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:09,940
to feel your mighty engines
thrum between our thighs...

1334
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:13,540
we salute your watery prowess...

1335
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:16,441
and we commend
your spirit to Valhalla.

1336
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:20,180
- Valhalla!
- ALL: Valhalla!

1337
01:12:20,280 --> 01:12:21,780
(CROWD CHEERING)

1338
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:23,740
SUSANNE:
Go, baby. Go, baby. Go, baby.

1339
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:25,287
(ALL CHEERING)

1340
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:35,860
- LENORE: Viking burial!
- TAMMY: Viking!

1341
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:38,761
Viking burial!

1342
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:43,580
PEARL:
Oh, lesbians! Attention, everybody.

1343
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,100
- Oh, shit, Grandma.
- PEARL: Hi, my name is Pearl Baizen.

1344
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:47,420
Excuse me.

1345
01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:52,209
And I wanna take this opportunity
to thank my cousin Lenore...

1346
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:56,260
and the beautiful Susanne
for this kick-ass party.

1347
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:59,540
Yeah! Yeah.

1348
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,060
Mm, mm, mm.

1349
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:05,580
And I just wanna say
happy Fourth of July!

1350
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,420
(PEARL & CROWD CHEERING)

1351
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,220
Amen, Pearl. Amen.

1352
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:11,860
All right, enough of that.
Seriously, folks.

1353
01:13:11,960 --> 01:13:14,900
I wanna give a little
birthday gift to America.

1354
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:18,529
I don't know how old America is
right now, but I just wanna say...

1355
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:21,540
happy birthday, America.

1356
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,220
- Beep.
- Shit.

1357
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:24,940
(CROWD CHEERING)

1358
01:13:25,040 --> 01:13:27,602
- WOMAN: Do it again!
- Yes.

1359
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:32,180
- Those are beauties. Really beauties.
- TAMMY: Let's go. You're done.

1360
01:13:32,280 --> 01:13:33,540
You're done. You're drunk.

1361
01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:36,460
What the fuck did you do?
Go get me another drink right now.

1362
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:38,260
You said you weren't gonna drink.

1363
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:40,660
I said I wasn't gonna drink.
Get me a drink. Come on.

1364
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:44,580
May I introduce my granddaughter,
Hamburger? What are you doing?

1365
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:48,380
Cheeseburger, sorry.
She's actually Cheeseburger.

1366
01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:51,260
Hey, hey, hey. What? What?

1367
01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:53,220
- Don't tell me what to do.
- Just get off the...

1368
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:56,087
I don't want some fat loser
telling me what to do.

1369
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:00,220
You're just being an asshole because
you're drunk, and it's not okay.

1370
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:01,780
Hey, we're all drunk, Tammy.

1371
01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:04,260
- She didn't mean anything by it.
- I absolutely do mean it.

1372
01:14:04,360 --> 01:14:06,860
I totally understand.
I don't blame Greg.

1373
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:10,300
I would leave her too. I mean,
I wouldn't want anything to do with her.

1374
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:13,420
Look at her. Come on,
everybody, people. Oh...

1375
01:14:13,520 --> 01:14:16,651
Look at that. Ugh. What?

1376
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:18,940
What?

1377
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:22,171
At least I didn't try to fuck
my daughter's husband.

1378
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,180
- How'd you know about that?
- TAMMY: Fuck you.

1379
01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:26,681
What?

1380
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:29,060
- Always something with her.
- TAMMY: You fucking drunk.

1381
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:33,020
- LENORE: Okay. We're having fun.
- All right, let's get the party going.

1382
01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:36,020
- Why's everybody being so quiet?
- LENORE: We gotta go. Here we go.

1383
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:39,780
What? What? All right.
What did I say? What did I say?

1384
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:42,700
Thank you, Sanne, everybody. Whoa.

1385
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,281
(PEARL LAUGHS)

1386
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,220
LENORE: There you are.

1387
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:53,247
I've been looking all
over creation for you.

1388
01:14:56,960 --> 01:14:59,840
Quite a show you two put on.

1389
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:02,660
I didn't start anything.

1390
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:06,289
Well, you sure finished it,
though, didn't you?

1391
01:15:07,360 --> 01:15:11,180
What was I supposed to do? Just stand
there while she said shitty things to me?

1392
01:15:11,280 --> 01:15:14,570
- It's not fair.
- What the hell does fair have to do with it?

1393
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:16,700
I got a big news flash
for you, Tammy.

1394
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:20,620
Life isn't fair. You're gonna have to scrape
and claw for everything you want...

1395
01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:22,500
just like the rest of us.

1396
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:26,980
You know, for years you've been bellyaching
and complaining about how your life sucks...

1397
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:30,060
but you haven't done one
single thing to make it better.

1398
01:15:30,160 --> 01:15:32,060
It isn't magic, you know.

1399
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:35,340
You can't just bitch and moan
and expect shit to change.

1400
01:15:35,440 --> 01:15:37,700
You think this house just
fell on my head one day?

1401
01:15:37,800 --> 01:15:39,980
I had to work hard.

1402
01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:44,180
You know, gay hasn't always
been in fashion, my friend.

1403
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:46,603
Susanne and I...

1404
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:52,490
If you had any idea how
hard we had to work...

1405
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:57,889
We didn't have anything handed to us.

1406
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:02,008
You need to grow up, honey.

1407
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:05,060
You don't know anything about me.

1408
01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:07,483
You're not that mysterious.

1409
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:09,500
Dogs are mysterious.

1410
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,860
Ooh. Cats.

1411
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:13,260
Birds.

1412
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,762
Fish. Fish are the most mysterious.

1413
01:16:16,040 --> 01:16:18,602
And I've made a mint,
thank you, Jesus.

1414
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:22,804
But we're not mysterious.

1415
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:24,460
Look, you know...

1416
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:28,260
she shouldn't have said all those
ugly things. I agree with you.

1417
01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:30,380
But she's drunk.

1418
01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:32,620
She won't remember it tomorrow.

1419
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:34,220
Yeah, she's always drunk.

1420
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:36,245
She's an alcoholic, Tammy.

1421
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:38,180
She's sick.

1422
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:41,300
You need to focus on getting
your shit together.

1423
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:47,204
Why don't you figure out what it is that
you really want and just go after it?

1424
01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:49,723
Maybe you can help her out.

1425
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:55,900
I'm gonna go blow up some fireworks.

1426
01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:57,481
(LENORE CLICKS TONGUE)

1427
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,260
(SINGING) Suzanne

1428
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:07,220
Takes you down to
that place by the river

1429
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:09,768
Suzanne

1430
01:17:16,040 --> 01:17:17,340
- BOBBY: Hey.
- Oh!

1431
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:18,900
- Oh, God.
- Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

1432
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:23,820
- Why you coming at me, like, out of the dark?
- I was... I'm sorry, I was just checking on you.

1433
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:26,060
It looked like you were
having a hard time out there.

1434
01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:27,340
Oh.

1435
01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:31,020
She kind of told me I was an asshole
and to get my shit together.

1436
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:32,660
Jesus, that's a little harsh.

1437
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:35,420
I'm not so sure that
she wasn't right.

1438
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:40,740
Can't exactly keep complaining about
my life and not doing anything about it.

1439
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:43,740
Yeah, but you had a hard night
with your grandma and everything.

1440
01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,940
- Yeah, that was great.
- Yeah.

1441
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:51,780
Heh. I don't know. I'm the one that let her
walk off to the bar with Earl. I don't know.

1442
01:17:51,880 --> 01:17:55,020
I shouldn't have brought
Earl here. I knew it.

1443
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:56,760
But I wanted to see you.

1444
01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:01,807
Heh. Yeah, because
I'm such a great catch.

1445
01:18:01,960 --> 01:18:03,580
No, it's not that you're a catch.

1446
01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:05,740
I mean, I'm not saying
you're not a catch.

1447
01:18:05,840 --> 01:18:10,300
Just, you know, my life's boring,
and you're a very not-boring person.

1448
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:12,980
And, you know, I... it's...

1449
01:18:13,080 --> 01:18:17,700
Wow. You're kind of super
bad at compliments.

1450
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:20,780
Like, it's kind of amazing, really.

1451
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:26,860
I'm doing my best, but I
think you know what I meant.

1452
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:28,646
I know what you meant.

1453
01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:35,220
I don't know. I don't
really think that now...

1454
01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:40,380
is kind of a great moment for
either one of... You know.

1455
01:18:40,480 --> 01:18:43,780
You've got your dad
you're chasing after.

1456
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,362
And I don't even have a car...

1457
01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:50,328
or, you know, a job.

1458
01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:55,820
You know, I don't think...

1459
01:18:55,920 --> 01:19:00,500
that putting two messes
together is gonna somehow...

1460
01:19:00,600 --> 01:19:03,162
make an unmess, you know?

1461
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:06,728
I guess I just think you're wrong.

1462
01:19:09,480 --> 01:19:11,700
Probably.

1463
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,646
I usually am.

1464
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:18,020
Well...

1465
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,300
I should probably get out of here...

1466
01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:23,340
because my dad is now starting...

1467
01:19:23,440 --> 01:19:26,127
to flash his breasts to the lesbians.

1468
01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:30,540
Huh. Oh, God. Yeah.

1469
01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:35,250
- That's probably your cue.
- So... Yeah.

1470
01:19:35,680 --> 01:19:39,880
- I guess we're goodbye-ing again.
- Yeah.

1471
01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:42,460
(TAMMY CHUCKLES)

1472
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:46,700
- Just wanted to mix things up a little.
- BOBBY: All right.

1473
01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:49,202
(FIREWORKS POPPING)

1474
01:19:51,080 --> 01:19:53,528
I still think you're wrong,
I gotta say.

1475
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:59,570
I can't hear you.
Lenore's blowing shit up.

1476
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:02,602
(CROWD CHATTERING)

1477
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,260
- Morning.
- Morning.

1478
01:20:16,360 --> 01:20:17,740
Morning.

1479
01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:19,380
Quite a party, huh?

1480
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:21,220
'Twas, indeed.

1481
01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:23,380
Oh. I'll get in on that.

1482
01:20:23,480 --> 01:20:25,540
Thanks for the
ass-kicking last night.

1483
01:20:25,640 --> 01:20:27,530
No problemo.

1484
01:20:28,120 --> 01:20:30,602
- Where's Grandma?
- LENORE: Outside.

1485
01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:34,642
Maybe I'll bring her a cup.

1486
01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:39,971
Can we call a truce, or do we
have to actually fistfight?

1487
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,567
Grandma, I brought you some coffee.

1488
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,380
Hey.

1489
01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:50,689
Hello?

1490
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:55,620
Grandma, I brought you some coffee.

1491
01:20:55,720 --> 01:20:57,884
Grandma?

1492
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:01,980
Grandma?

1493
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:04,323
Grandma? Grandma.

1494
01:21:04,760 --> 01:21:06,820
Grandma. Grandma.

1495
01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:10,140
Come on. Shit. Come on, wake up.

1496
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,260
Grandma, wake up!

1497
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:15,843
Wake up! God.

1498
01:21:17,720 --> 01:21:20,407
I'm so sorry.

1499
01:21:21,200 --> 01:21:23,443
I'm so sorry.

1500
01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:28,365
Shit.

1501
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:33,804
Hey!

1502
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:37,940
- She's not breathing. She's dead.
- LENORE: What?

1503
01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:39,540
- Oh, my God, what?
- TAMMY: She's dead.

1504
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:41,020
Oh, Robin, call 911.

1505
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:44,020
- TAMMY: She's dead. She's not breathing at all.
- You can't be serious.

1506
01:21:44,120 --> 01:21:45,220
What's happened?

1507
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:47,980
She's not breathing, and I
just let her drink all night.

1508
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:50,860
- LENORE: No, no, honey. It's not your fault.
- TAMMY: It is my fault.

1509
01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:53,620
Tammy, it's not your fault.
Oh, my God. What happened?

1510
01:21:53,720 --> 01:21:55,380
(SCREAMING)

1511
01:21:55,480 --> 01:21:57,450
Pearl! Oh, my God!

1512
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:00,860
Oh, God! Oh, my God, Pearl!

1513
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:02,964
Pearl!

1514
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,380
What the fuck?!

1515
01:22:06,480 --> 01:22:08,460
- What the fuck?
- What happened?

1516
01:22:08,560 --> 01:22:10,420
LENORE: Go get her.

1517
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:12,660
- Oh, my God.
- SUSANNE: She's not dead.

1518
01:22:12,760 --> 01:22:14,060
- TAMMY: on, my God.
- PEARL: What?

1519
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:17,540
- TAMMY: Sit. Okay, okay.
- I think she passed out.

1520
01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:19,660
- TAMMY: What were you thinking?
- What?

1521
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:22,700
You weren't breathing.
We all thought you were dead.

1522
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:26,300
You are gonna clean your shit up.
You're gonna stop all this drinking.

1523
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:28,380
Do you hear me? You look terrible.

1524
01:22:28,480 --> 01:22:31,180
Well, my feet...
I don't feel so good.

1525
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:32,860
Goddamn it, Pearly.

1526
01:22:32,960 --> 01:22:35,761
Nobody should die in a lawn chair.

1527
01:22:37,720 --> 01:22:40,580
TAMMY: All right. All right,
don't shake her, don't shake her.

1528
01:22:40,680 --> 01:22:42,100
Don't bounce her so much.

1529
01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:45,100
Remember, she's not taking all of her
pills she's supposed to be taking.

1530
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,409
EMT: Okay. Thank you, ma'am.

1531
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:51,540
Did I flash my boobs last night?

1532
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:53,540
- TAMMY: Yeah. You did.
- Did I?

1533
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:56,020
Yeah. You were throwing
them around last night.

1534
01:22:56,120 --> 01:22:59,260
Beep, boop. All the way. Yeah,
Earl has them all over Facebook.

1535
01:22:59,360 --> 01:23:02,260
TAMMY: They look good. I mean...

1536
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,060
Oh, my God.

1537
01:23:04,160 --> 01:23:06,540
Oh, my God, I was mean...

1538
01:23:06,640 --> 01:23:08,804
Oh, I was mean to you.

1539
01:23:09,080 --> 01:23:11,740
I called you Cheeseburger.
Oh, my God.

1540
01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:14,860
- It's okay.
- SUSANNE: Pearly, we'll be right behind, okay?

1541
01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:16,820
- TAMMY: It's okay. It's okay.
- PEARL: Oh, no.

1542
01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:19,402
- SUSANNE: We'll follow, okay?
- TAMMY: Yeah.

1543
01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:24,121
Oh, shit.

1544
01:23:25,520 --> 01:23:26,820
Hey, officers.

1545
01:23:26,920 --> 01:23:30,220
Ambulance got here first,
but she's gonna be okay.

1546
01:23:30,320 --> 01:23:33,100
So don't worry about it.
Thank you, though.

1547
01:23:33,200 --> 01:23:36,700
Ma'am, we got reports that someone was
burning a Jet Ski on the lake last night.

1548
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,620
- You see anything?
- Oh.

1549
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:43,820
Uh, it's super uncool.
I would never burn a watercraft.

1550
01:23:43,920 --> 01:23:45,340
- Oh, no.
- No.

1551
01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:46,620
No?

1552
01:23:46,720 --> 01:23:49,380
We've also been tracking
a 2004 Cadillac de Ville...

1553
01:23:49,480 --> 01:23:52,884
towing a Jet Ski that was involved
in a robbery. Anything on that?

1554
01:23:53,920 --> 01:23:55,220
Uh...

1555
01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:57,180
You know, uh... Ooh, wow.

1556
01:23:57,280 --> 01:24:01,890
That's a Hawaiian bear shirt.
You don't see a lot of those around here.

1557
01:24:02,240 --> 01:24:04,620
You probably see quite a few.

1558
01:24:04,720 --> 01:24:06,540
You're gonna have to
come with us. Let's go.

1559
01:24:06,640 --> 01:24:08,420
- TAMMY: Oh. Come on, man.
- Let's go, ma'am.

1560
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:10,820
Stand back, ladies. Right this way.

1561
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:12,500
TAMMY: I'm going with...

1562
01:24:12,600 --> 01:24:14,980
- I bet you see a lot of bear shirts.
- OFFICER: No, no, ma'am.

1563
01:24:15,080 --> 01:24:18,420
- Constant.
- OFFICER: Ma'am. Get...

1564
01:24:18,520 --> 01:24:20,340
- Are you serious?
- TAMMY: Ow. There was a bee.

1565
01:24:20,440 --> 01:24:22,780
- There's no bees here, ma'am.
- There was a bee.

1566
01:24:22,880 --> 01:24:24,884
You can't run from the law.

1567
01:24:30,080 --> 01:24:31,740
GUARD 1: Tammy Banks.

1568
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:33,890
GUARD 2: On the gate.

1569
01:24:38,760 --> 01:24:40,740
See you later.

1570
01:24:40,840 --> 01:24:43,163
I hope not.

1571
01:24:46,160 --> 01:24:48,220
Hey, Dad.

1572
01:24:48,320 --> 01:24:51,220
Tammy. You rehabilitated?

1573
01:24:51,320 --> 01:24:55,441
- I guess.
- Then let's go home.

1574
01:24:58,480 --> 01:25:00,300
Wherever that is.

1575
01:25:00,400 --> 01:25:03,420
Yeah. I'm not too happy with Greg.

1576
01:25:03,520 --> 01:25:05,340
Yeah, me either.

1577
01:25:05,440 --> 01:25:07,569
Look, um...

1578
01:25:08,320 --> 01:25:12,281
you want me to take care of that
wiggly little motherfucker for you?

1579
01:25:13,120 --> 01:25:15,921
- What? - I'll go over there
and kill him for you right now.

1580
01:25:16,640 --> 01:25:20,180
I'm old. I don't care
if I go to jail.

1581
01:25:20,280 --> 01:25:22,284
They got magazines
in there, don't they?

1582
01:25:22,480 --> 01:25:23,980
Oh.

1583
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:28,121
I thought you were serious
for a minute. Heh...

1584
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:30,100
You're kidding, right?

1585
01:25:30,200 --> 01:25:32,260
Jesus, Dad.

1586
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:34,620
You know we're at a prison. Okay?

1587
01:25:34,720 --> 01:25:39,140
I do not want you to
hurt Greg in any way.

1588
01:25:39,240 --> 01:25:41,483
God.

1589
01:25:45,440 --> 01:25:49,049
You know, Grandma told me
that she made a pass at you.

1590
01:25:49,280 --> 01:25:53,321
Heh. Oh, yeah, well, she used to
hit on everybody all the time.

1591
01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:56,340
You know the ice-cream
guy, Jerry Miller?

1592
01:25:56,440 --> 01:25:59,810
He was the only one who went for it.

1593
01:26:02,360 --> 01:26:03,740
Oh, God.

1594
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:06,820
Let's roll. Mom's waiting.

1595
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:08,970
TAMMY: Oh, God.

1596
01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:19,700
You don't have to go
in there right now.

1597
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,123
Now's a good a time as any.

1598
01:26:31,680 --> 01:26:34,740
- Hey, Tammy.
- Hey, Greg.

1599
01:26:34,840 --> 01:26:35,980
Come on in.

1600
01:26:36,080 --> 01:26:37,561
- TAMMY: Really?
- Yeah.

1601
01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:51,161
Well, see you kind of made
yourself at home, huh?

1602
01:26:52,320 --> 01:26:54,449
Bold.

1603
01:26:54,880 --> 01:26:56,964
Uh...

1604
01:26:57,160 --> 01:27:02,220
Just wanted to, you know,
let you guys know that I'm okay.

1605
01:27:02,320 --> 01:27:03,820
You know? With me.

1606
01:27:03,920 --> 01:27:07,460
Not so much what
you guys did that's...

1607
01:27:07,560 --> 01:27:10,820
I mean, you know,
that's really between you...

1608
01:27:10,920 --> 01:27:12,860
and that guy upstairs.

1609
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:15,900
But I think he frowns on adultery.

1610
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:19,085
I'd say that, so I think
you burn, actually.

1611
01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:24,404
So I'm just gonna get my stuff.

1612
01:27:26,080 --> 01:27:30,007
MISSI:
I, uh... I folded your clothes.

1613
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:50,300
- So glad you're home.
- Thanks for letting me stay here.

1614
01:27:50,400 --> 01:27:52,290
Oh, yeah.

1615
01:27:52,760 --> 01:27:54,060
You look good.

1616
01:27:54,160 --> 01:27:55,340
- TAMMY: Yeah?
- Yeah.

1617
01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:58,260
- Prison agree with me? Heh.
- Heh. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

1618
01:27:58,360 --> 01:28:00,444
Think it kind of did.

1619
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:04,020
I got your room all set up so...

1620
01:28:04,120 --> 01:28:05,460
- Yeah?
- DEB: Yeah.

1621
01:28:05,560 --> 01:28:08,420
Oh, God. I'm not bunking
with Grandma, am I?

1622
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:11,660
- No. Heh. She's at Brookview.
- TAMMY: What?

1623
01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:13,900
Did you lock her up?
That is bullshit!

1624
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:16,180
- Give me your car keys, Dad.
- Tammy, wait!

1625
01:28:16,280 --> 01:28:19,650
- I'm gonna remember that when you get old.
- DEB: Tammy.

1626
01:28:22,240 --> 01:28:23,971
Hey!

1627
01:28:25,160 --> 01:28:28,300
- Hey, super-old guy, where's Pearl Baizen?
- What?

1628
01:28:28,400 --> 01:28:30,370
Oh, God.

1629
01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:35,161
Come on, man.

1630
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:40,460
Grandma.

1631
01:28:40,560 --> 01:28:41,740
Tammy!

1632
01:28:41,840 --> 01:28:44,220
I didn't know you were coming.
Come here, give me a hug.

1633
01:28:44,320 --> 01:28:46,340
TAMMY: Look at you.
It's worse than I thought.

1634
01:28:46,440 --> 01:28:50,561
PEARL: Why do you have to go so fast?
All right, everybody. I'll be back.

1635
01:28:51,280 --> 01:28:53,340
TAMMY: I got the car. Let's go.

1636
01:28:53,440 --> 01:28:56,100
- Goddamn it. Ooh.
- I'll get the door.

1637
01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:58,980
You could've killed me.
What are you thinking?

1638
01:28:59,080 --> 01:29:01,860
Just stop. Do you hear me?

1639
01:29:01,960 --> 01:29:05,300
Oh, my God. You can still walk.

1640
01:29:05,400 --> 01:29:08,300
Of course I can walk. I was
teaching an exercise class.

1641
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:09,980
Why were you sitting in a wheelchair?

1642
01:29:10,080 --> 01:29:12,180
Because most of them
are in wheelchairs.

1643
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:14,540
Well, why didn't you tell
me you were in here?

1644
01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:16,700
I didn't wanna make you jealous.

1645
01:29:16,800 --> 01:29:19,580
I mean, you were in jail,
and I'm at this cool place.

1646
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:21,300
And my AA meetings are here.

1647
01:29:21,400 --> 01:29:26,860
I made friends, and I'm seeing
this 84-year-old from Philly.

1648
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:29,601
He was a hockey player,
so he seems younger but...

1649
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:34,361
We've been going kind of slow,
and this might be the weekend.

1650
01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:36,161
Ugh.

1651
01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:39,580
You look good.

1652
01:29:39,680 --> 01:29:41,620
Thanks. You look great.

1653
01:29:41,720 --> 01:29:42,940
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1654
01:29:43,040 --> 01:29:45,380
I was afraid to eat
the meat in jail, so...

1655
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:47,291
- That's a good call.
- Yeah.

1656
01:29:49,240 --> 01:29:52,940
God. I am so sorry.
So sorry about everything.

1657
01:29:53,040 --> 01:29:54,780
I'm sorry.

1658
01:29:54,880 --> 01:29:57,660
I was a total jerk to you, and I
should've taken better care of you.

1659
01:29:57,760 --> 01:30:00,140
No, it wasn't your job
to take care of me.

1660
01:30:00,240 --> 01:30:02,642
Little bit, it was.

1661
01:30:02,880 --> 01:30:05,740
No, I love you so much. I really do.

1662
01:30:05,840 --> 01:30:07,380
Well, I'm pretty great.

1663
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:09,882
You are really great.

1664
01:30:10,520 --> 01:30:12,331
I love you too.

1665
01:30:16,000 --> 01:30:18,700
We're gonna spend tonight at
Lenore's and get up early...

1666
01:30:18,800 --> 01:30:22,300
- ...and drive straight to Niagara Falls.
- Call me when you get to Lenore's.

1667
01:30:22,400 --> 01:30:25,041
- All right, I will, Mom.
- Don't forget.

1668
01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:28,291
- Mom, I've got it, okay?
- DEB: Okay, great.

1669
01:30:28,720 --> 01:30:32,761
- Stay hydrated.
- All right.

1670
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:35,900
Ah. Okay.

1671
01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:39,620
- Well, thanks for fixing up my car, Dad.
- Oh, not a problem.

1672
01:30:39,720 --> 01:30:43,966
- Just don't rob anybody in it.
- I'm not gonna rob anybody in it.

1673
01:30:46,360 --> 01:30:48,020
Let's light this candle.

1674
01:30:48,120 --> 01:30:49,860
(LAUGHS)

1675
01:30:49,960 --> 01:30:51,660
Let's go, woman.

1676
01:30:51,760 --> 01:30:54,083
- PEARL: I got it.
- You're strong.

1677
01:30:55,520 --> 01:30:56,900
Ooh.

1678
01:30:57,000 --> 01:30:59,528
Dukes of Hazzard-style.

1679
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:08,220
TAMMY: Lenore stocked up the RV,
so we're all good to go.

1680
01:31:08,320 --> 01:31:11,769
("DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW?"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)

1681
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:13,580
Oh, God. It's Jerry Miller.

1682
01:31:13,680 --> 01:31:16,780
Ladies. Who wants a bone cone?

1683
01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,362
- Go, go. Just go.
- Okay.

1684
01:31:19,760 --> 01:31:21,764
PEARL: Ugh.

1685
01:31:23,640 --> 01:31:26,900
So, what do you think, Grandma?
It's a good day to go to Niagara Falls?

1686
01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:28,140
I'm ready.

1687
01:31:28,240 --> 01:31:33,771
My daddy always said that Niagara Falls
is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

1688
01:31:49,720 --> 01:31:52,122
(ALL WHOOPING)

1689
01:31:55,680 --> 01:31:57,540
(LAUGHING)

1690
01:31:57,640 --> 01:32:00,691
Oh!

1691
01:32:27,920 --> 01:32:29,446
(MOUTHS) Sorry.

1692
01:32:33,160 --> 01:32:35,369
What are you doing here?

1693
01:32:56,960 --> 01:32:59,420
So how'd you know to come
here to Niagara, anyway?

1694
01:32:59,520 --> 01:33:00,860
A little birdie told me.

1695
01:33:00,960 --> 01:33:03,567
- Is the bird named Pearl? Ha, ha.
- Yes.

1696
01:33:04,040 --> 01:33:07,020
So, what's going on with you,
Tammy? What's next?

1697
01:33:07,120 --> 01:33:10,420
Thinking about getting my
own place in Louisville.

1698
01:33:10,520 --> 01:33:12,445
- Really?
- Yeah.

1699
01:33:13,280 --> 01:33:15,887
- Interesting.
- TAMMY: Yeah, it is. Isn't it?

1700
01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:18,100
Get myself a sweet little place...

1701
01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:22,660
and, you know, maybe you can
come over and watch a movie.

1702
01:33:22,760 --> 01:33:25,940
Do you guys feel how the
falls are charging the ions?

1703
01:33:26,040 --> 01:33:27,860
- It's incredible, right?
- BOBBY & TAMMY: Yes.

1704
01:33:27,960 --> 01:33:30,380
- Romantic.
- Yeah, it is.

1705
01:33:30,480 --> 01:33:31,540
(TAMMY CLEARS THROAT)

1706
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:35,780
Oh. Well, my daddy was right.
It's beautiful here.

1707
01:33:35,880 --> 01:33:38,362
Yeah, it's pretty cool.

1708
01:33:39,520 --> 01:33:43,780
You think I should try to rent a
barrel and try to shoot the falls?

1709
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:46,420
PEARL: I think we should
just look at them, maybe.

1710
01:33:46,520 --> 01:33:47,980
- Yeah.
- TAMMY: Really?

1711
01:33:48,080 --> 01:33:50,260
I don't know. I got a good feeling.

1712
01:33:50,360 --> 01:33:52,660
I feel like I've been
thinking about a course...

1713
01:33:52,760 --> 01:33:55,700
and if I just shoot out into
the middle soft spot there...

1714
01:33:55,800 --> 01:34:00,260
it'll probably just pillow-carry me right
over that Canadian lagoon over there.

1715
01:34:00,360 --> 01:34:04,048
I think if anyone could
do it, it would be you.

1716
01:34:06,160 --> 01:34:07,580
TAMMY: Oh! Oh.

1717
01:34:07,680 --> 01:34:10,700
I thought I saw the Cheetos.
It's not them.

1718
01:34:10,800 --> 01:34:12,929
You guys wanna get Cheetos?

1719
01:34:18,480 --> 01:34:20,340
- Hey, man. How you doing?
- MAN: Hey. Good.

1720
01:34:20,440 --> 01:34:22,820
- What can I get for you?
- I'm gonna have the iced tea...

1721
01:34:22,920 --> 01:34:25,527
and then the full rack
of the pork ribs.

1722
01:34:27,360 --> 01:34:30,220
The full rack,
that's a lot of sodium.

1723
01:34:30,320 --> 01:34:31,980
You wanna think about going half?

1724
01:34:32,080 --> 01:34:35,300
Oh. Uh, no, I'm gonna
get the full rack.

1725
01:34:35,400 --> 01:34:36,700
I'm gonna say no.

1726
01:34:36,800 --> 01:34:39,500
I'm gonna say let's, together,
make a better choice.

1727
01:34:39,600 --> 01:34:43,780
How about salmon? Give you a little cup
of BBQ sauce on the side to spice it up.

1728
01:34:43,880 --> 01:34:47,900
- Better choice, still got zip.
- I'm just gonna do the ribs.

1729
01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:49,765
How's your cholesterol?

1730
01:34:50,120 --> 01:34:54,260
- It's a concern. It's up there, but...
- Oh, Jesus.

1731
01:34:54,360 --> 01:34:57,180
- I'm gonna take away the barbecue sauce.
- MAN: Oh, man.

1732
01:34:57,280 --> 01:35:00,060
All right? Poom.
You're gonna thank me later.

1733
01:35:00,160 --> 01:35:03,260
- I'm gonna fill that up for you.
- Can I...?

1734
01:35:03,360 --> 01:35:05,660
I can't believe you're
leaving me for that dick.

1735
01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:09,380
That dick is gonna have his own franchise in
three goddamn years. What are you gonna do?

1736
01:35:09,480 --> 01:35:11,020
Come on, shake a tit.

1737
01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,140
- Happy hour's over in 20 minutes.
- MISSI: Aah!

1738
01:35:14,240 --> 01:35:17,060
- That's how it's done.
- GREG: This is BS.

1739
01:35:17,160 --> 01:35:19,900
This is a huge mistake.

1740
01:35:20,000 --> 01:35:22,740
You have got to stop
yawning so much, Charlotte.

1741
01:35:22,840 --> 01:35:24,446
- DON: Are you Keith?
- I'm Keith.

1742
01:35:26,240 --> 01:35:28,881
- Aah!
- Poom!

1743
01:35:29,880 --> 01:35:32,169
KEITH: Help me, Charlotte.

1744
01:35:34,280 --> 01:35:36,460
You were right.
This hot tub is awesome.

1745
01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:38,500
Right? Yeah.

1746
01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:42,820
- So how you liking Louisville?
- I love it. I love where I live, where I work.

1747
01:35:42,920 --> 01:35:44,765
I love the man I lay with.

1748
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:47,050
- It's A-okay with me.
- Great.

1749
01:35:48,080 --> 01:35:51,940
Hey, Larry, this sangria is awesome.

1750
01:35:52,040 --> 01:35:55,340
Thank you. The secret's in
the maraschino cherries.

1751
01:35:55,440 --> 01:35:58,900
Oh. I see you got a couple of
maraschino cherries yourself.

1752
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:01,209
- Oh! Ha, ha.
- Oh!

1753
01:36:47,160 --> 01:36:48,300
Pew.

1754
01:36:48,400 --> 01:36:49,740
Pew, pew, pew.

1755
01:36:49,840 --> 01:36:53,500
Pew, pew, pew. Pew. Pew.

1756
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:56,060
Hey, don't let a deer
hit you on the way out.

1757
01:36:56,160 --> 01:36:58,847
You dick. You know what?

1758
01:36:59,560 --> 01:37:03,380
KEITH: You are no longer an
employee of Topperjack's.

1759
01:37:03,480 --> 01:37:05,882
(ALL LAUGHING)

1760
01:37:06,160 --> 01:37:09,848
My secrets! My secret!

1761
01:40:29,040 --> 01:40:31,442
(English - US - SDH)