Thread 1: Stories 76-90

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>hides in corner
>nothing changes

"...ah'm not sure what y'all were expectin'"

>"Nor am I, now I come to think about it."

"Well, nothin's changed. Though she DID cast a spell tah 'help' a bear with arthritis."

>"Well that sounds perfectly harmless to me."

"She's a pegasus naturally. She doesn't know how tah cast magic. Ah still have trouble."

>"... so...?"

"Ponyville's destroyed again. Giant bear poop all over the town hall."

>"I'll.. I'll call the usual teams.."

"You know who I blame for this, right?"

"Fluttershy."

>"Wait really? Not me?"

"It's not like y'all expected her to be tryin' out her magic without supervision! Heck, you were the one who started a unicorn academy."

>"So.. not my fault.. and I indirectly attempted to AVOID it. Wow. This is a new feeling for me."
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>Princess, I--

"Remember that restraining order? You take two more steps towards my person and I get it legalized."

>Relax yerself, just relax, look, Ah brought some cider. Nothin' ya did wrong, Ah just just wanted to drink in yer chambers where Ah know Ah can find some peace.

"It's my quarters and not even I can find that, sweetheart. But why are you drinking?"

>Oh. Hawh. Fluttershy approached me today while Ah was regulatin' parts of the Everfree forest; she started shootin' off with ideas and proposals for... f-for....

"Deep breaths, dear. It couldn't have been that bad."

>Oh really? Well, how's this tickle yer apple. She wanted to have legislature passed so that the young'in's of the Manticore and Timberwolf races could be indoctrinated into our schools fer some proper education. Ah popped a blood vessel in mah eye and had to come back here to cool my nerves...

"...Yeeeah, on second thought, pass me that bottle, please. No, I don't need a glass, dear."
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>Okay, how'd that happen? Ah' haven't given Celestia any time ta' pull somethin' like this, and Ah'm pretty sure she wouldn't even consider it by this point.

>Um... Discord, um, mentioned he didn't like the idea of me dying. Soooo.....

>Ah. Did he at least ask you?

>Y-yes, of course he asked first, and, well, I didn't want to upset him, so-

>Fluttershy, ya'll can't keep just accepting when ponies ask ya' to do things like this.

>....I can fly better now, can't I please keep my wings like this, at least?

>HNNNNNGH!

>Discord? GREAT TARNATION HE'S HAVIN' A HEART ATTACK! CLEAR!

*ZZZZZZZZZ*

>Oh dear, was this my fault? I'm so sorry!

>HHHHHHHHNNNNGH!

>FLUTTERSHY YER MAKIN' IT WORSE! CLEAR!

*ZZZZZZZZ*

>Sorry!

>HHHHNNNNGH!

>CLEAR!

*ZZZZZZZ*

>*Celestia walks in.... and walks right back out.*

>Not my fault this time.

>CLEAR!
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>Oh, alright, you win. I do so solemly swear never to change another pony into an Alicorn, even if they should ask. I promise.

>Good.

*Shining immediately bursts into the room*

>I heard someone's handing out Alicorn power-ups! AT LAST!

>Sorry, no can do. Just promised to never do it again. Meant it too. So sorry.

>B-but... but....

>Now now, don't give me that look, look at it from my perspective! I want them to trust me, so clearly I can't go about breaking my word. Surely them liking me is more important than whatever it is you wanted.

>I-I.... I just.....

>Come Fluttershy! Let's go pet some bunnies or something!

>*Yay!*

>.....If you all will excuse me, I... need to shave again....

*walks off*

>....What the hay was that about, Cadence?

>No idea, I swear I do not understand that stallion sometimes.
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>"Ah'm curious about somethin' 'Tia"

"How much do I have to pay you to stop? Name it and it is yours. I'm jot kidding here Applejack."

>"Temptin', bit ah don't think that this is that kind of question."

"..go on?"

>"Well, why is bein' an Alicorn so rare? Don't seem like its that hard fer ya to zap someone."

"I actually know this one! And it isn't my fault! Okay. Long story short, there's this race -or hive mind- of beings called emellpi and.. well they really do NOT approve of Alicorn for some reason."

>"Come again?"

"No, really. Higher beings. When I transformed Twilight, they were FURIOUS with me! No idea why Alicorn transformation is so bad though, nut it must be terribly important. Like.. damaging the walls between worlds or something."

>"Well ain't that somethin'. Why'd you transform me then?"

"I ask myself that every day.."
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>"But 'Tia, if they y'all were so furious with y'all then how come they didn't get angry like a bees nest with a bear rummagin' around when Discord zapped Fluttershy?"

"Can you imagine anything actually sticking to Discord to make him actually DO anything?

>Discord floats by with Fluttershy petting bunnies, upside down with a teapot nearby muttering about one lump or two.

>"Y'all were sayin'?"

"Just...Just gimme the sunkisses Applejack."

>"But y'all just said..."

"Applejack, now."

>"Now, now Princess, you said it yerself you have to have dignity and pose as we-"

"Do I need to hurl the sun into the planet again?"

>"That happened?"

"...Only in my more violent dreams..."

>Luna calls out from the background "Tis Truth! Our Sister has been most vexed these past weeks."
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>"Celly, ya care t' tell me why it's rainin' chocolate?"

"It's probably Discord buggering about as usual."

>"Did'n he, y'know, swear t' not be chaotic?"

"Well he did honey, but since he turned Fluttershy into an Alicorn, well, he's been doing what he likes because she resets it after he's had a good laugh. So this#ll clear up in, what, an hour?"

>"An' ya jus' aint carin' none, huh?"

"I have cake, AppleJack. That is all that matters currently."

>"A'hma go ask Fluttershy t' fix it then, ah can never do it, but she can, somehow. Discord has a weird type o' magic."

***************

>"Celestia!! HELP!!"

"Oh, Starswirl, give me your strength, she needs my help..."

>"It's worse than we thought!!"

"...Do I want to hear?"

>"Probably not... BUT STILL. It aint Discord..."

"...Oh no."

>"Yep... she done it, she done turned herself int' an Alicorn... somehow..."

"I'm just gonna hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, and reset life now, kay?"

>"For all our sakes, please do."
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>The City of Canterlot...is having a relatively nice day.

>Musing over her cup of coffee with the words Best Princess on it Celestia ponders to herself.

"As much of a headache as SHE gives me, its turned out rather well for the kingdom..."

>Reading over the fiscal policy for the next year alongside the Academy of Smart Thinking Celestia sips her mug as she looks over the rather bland pictures included with the variouse folders and pamphlets that Applejack had foisted off on her.

>Sighing to herself Celestia continues her work in her study thinking of all the hassles she had endured from Applejack taking charge and actually doing things a princess should do.

"Oh what I wouldn't give to let her have a taste of her own medi-"

>Celestia stops midspeech as she gets an idea.
>A wonderfully, dreadfully awful idea.
>Giggling maniacally the sun princess grabs her quill and parchment in her magic as she starts to write in her customary elegant poise.
>Sending off the letter with a plume of smoke Celestia brings over the chocolate drizzled cream filled confectionary that had been tempting her for the past five minutes.

"She'll have my head, but it will be so worth it..."

>One time skip later...

>"CELESTIA!!!!!"

"Yes dearest Applejack?"

>"WHY IN TARNATION HAVE YOU OUT OF EVARY MISBEGOTTEN PONY IN EQUESTRIA DID YA"LL HAVE TA CHOOSE HER!?"

>"Oh honestly darling, quit being a drama queen."

"I take it that your new wings are fitting Rarity?"

*Pop*

"Oh my that's new."

>"Princess, is she supposed to be foaming at the mouth?"

"Apple family tradition dear, nothing to worry about, cake?"
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So far, the continuity is like:

Princess Celestia
Princess Applejack
Cadance and Shining Armor can't count
Luna and Twilight perform no administerial work
Applejack's family still don't know where she is
Discord made Fluttershy an alicorn

Ponyville now has fences and a police force, Crystal Empire is self sustainable foodwise, Appleoosa's border situation is relaxed, an Engineering school is still under construction, the Royal Guard now receives proper training, Blueblood's stipend is cut short, Canterlot castle and the kitchens are being revamped...

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>"Ya mean ta tell me that don't no one but you got any power in that dream thing ya do?"
>"INDEED, APPLEJACK. WE WOULDST NOT HAVE ANYPONY MEDDLING IN OUR AFFAIRS."
>"Uh huh. And with that power you make recordings and sell them."
>"YOU KEEP CUTTING INTO OUR STAR BUDGET. WE HAVE TO MAKE ENDS MEET SOMEHOW."
>"You were doing this before ah— What is a star budget even... Don't this strike you as /wrong/?"
>"WHY WOULD IT? I'M MAKING BITS. MY CITIZENS ENJOY THE MOVIES. EVERYPONY PROFITS."
>"What about the ponies whose dreams you stole?"
>"...NOT EVERY SOLUTION IS AN IDEAL SOLUTION."
>"Uh huh. Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that Celestia, Twilight, and I signed a bill that bans any further dreamwalkin' without extensive regulations."
>"WHAT?! WHY WOULDST MY SISTER EVER SIGN SUCH A BILL?!"
>"One of the stipulations was that Princess Luna would get all the blame."
>"THAT IS PREPOSTEROUS! WHY WOULD TWILIGHT EVEN DO IT?"
>"Ah made her think it was about her brother. All this princessin's startin' to rub off on me, Ah think."
>"TIS MADNESS! WHAT BUSINESS OF OURS SHAN'T YOU DIP YOUR DASTARDLY HOOVES IN, HONESTY?"
>"Well, Ah also wanted to ask about yer... pet opossum. Does he have all his shots?"
>"...LOOK YONDER, AN APPLE!"
>"Where?!"
...
>"Oooh, get back here!"
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>Princess Applejack! We would like a word with thee!

"Is this about the dream shield thing?"

>I HAVE ONE JOY IN LIFE! MUST YOU STEAL IT ALL!

"Princess, it was one pony."

>ALL OF MY ENTRAINMENT RUIN- Wait, one?

"Yep. Twilight noticed Shining Armor wasn't actin' all that well, so Ah' did a little investigatin'."

>Err....

"Ya'll really should'a covered yer tracks better. Ya' stuck with him too long, and with the same dream."

>...It just never stops being funny, you know?

"What, havin' him dream he's an Alicorn and then havin' his wings fall off?"

>He screams the same way every time, it's hysterical! When Celestia suggested it, we were skeptical, but he is worth his weight in mirth!

"Ah' can't believe ya'll would do that ta' Twilight's brother!"

>OH SWEET HEAVENS NO! You didn't tell her, right!?

"Ah' may have....."

>CELESTIA! WE ARE GOING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EQUATOR! WE SHALL RETURN.... EVENTUALLY!

"LUUUNNAAAAA!-"

>I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEEE! *Speeds off*

"-I found your- hey, where'd she go? I just wanted to say I found Tiberius. Thankfully I caught him before he reached Celestia's cakes. Why'd she leave so fast?

"No reason, Twi, no reason at all."

"...Is it Celestia's fault?"

"....Kinda?"

"Okay then." *walks off*

"...Ah'm havin' a bad influence on that gal.
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>LUNA.

>Why, dearest Applejack, how pleasant to visit-GLK!

>Applejack! Put Luna down, now!

>Celestia, me and yer' sister need ta' have words.

>It-glk!-it was a joke!

>NOT. FUNNY.

>What wasn't funny.

>Yer sister walked inta' one of my dreams.

>Okay....

>One of mah... personal dreams. Real personal.

>Ah. And?

>She made a last minute... 'replacement' with the dream stallion.

>....Oh mercy no, Luna you didn't.

>As the last breath whisps forth from mine lips, let mine final words be thus.... TOTALLY WORTH IT-GLACK!

*SNAP!*

>...Her immortality'll fix that, right?

>It should.

>Ah'm slashin' her cake budget ta' nill and Ah' am taxin' her side project until I BURY HER UNDER LEGISLATION! SHE'LL NEVER SO MUCH AS SNEEZE WITHOUT A FORM, AH' SWEAR IT!

>.....

>......

>No, it wasn't my idea.

>Jus' clearin that up.
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>Applejack, I have a question.

>...This is new.

>I know, a new experience for us all. Just wanted to clear something up really quick.

>Sure, shoot.

>Is that Queen Chrysalis in our ballroom?

>That it is.

>And she has what looks to be a very large number of Changelings with her.

>Her entire remainin' population, actually.

>....Mmm'kay. *starts to walk off*

>Wait! Ain't ya' gonna ask what that's all about?

>Nope.

>It's actually a really interestin' story-

>nnnnooope.

>Ya' see, shes actually-

>Nnnnoooooooooooooope.*exits.*

>...Crud, there goes mah' backup plan of blamin' this on her if this goes south.
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>"Um, Princess?"

"What?! What do you--"

>"You dropped this..."

"Oh... thankyou."

---

>"Hey, Celestia?"

"Oh Starswirl, what do you want fro--"

>"Nothin' much, just a signature on this here piece o' paper is all."

"Oh, I see."

---

>"Heya Princess!"

"APPLEJACK, really, let me have some peace and quiet from your endless questions, I beg you..."

>"Actually I was jus' gonna tell ya Luna wanted t' see ya."

"...Understood..."

---

>"So, Celest--"

"NO. NO. YOU STOP IT RIGHT THIS BUCKING INSTANT, DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BITCH?? JUST ASK ME A BUCKING QUESTION, TELL ME IT'S MY FAULT, PLEASE, DO IT ALREADY, I CANNOT STAND THE TENSION!!"
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>So, ya'll still actin' on yer best behavior?

>Do not think you have us completely helpless, orange one!

>Ah'll call Discord again.

>....We'll be good.

>Ya' know ya'll brought this on yerselves, right? Ah mean, goin' after Fluttershy? After FLUTTERSHY!? Of all ponies, ya' picked the ONE with the undivided attention of a reality warper.

>We didn't know he was out! How could we have possibly known you whored out that yellow pegasus to keep him in line!?

>....DISCORD NO!

~~~~~~~~~On the other side of Canterlot~~~~~

>Sister, was that a giant chocolate rabbit smashing through our castle?

>Probably.

>He seems to be wielding a rather large candy cane.

>Not my problem.

>....He's headed towards the bakery.

>....TO WAR, LUNA! TO WAAAAAR!