WU,AH: Game 1 (DM: HT) Session 1 (Partial)

Dec 6th, 2012
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  1. «Globebutt» Waitin' on HT still.
  2. «HTBK» joined the chat.
  3. «HTBK» Ah, there we go.
  4. «Globebutt» Perfect.
  5. «Mr.Jared» speaken of the devil
  6. «Globebutt» Arright then. We wanna post ponies for folks to use, or what?
  7. «Globebutt» I got one spooky OC I love to share. (I didn't make it, but.)
  8. «HTBK» Yep. Each of you post your pone.
  9. «HTBK» No alicorns.
  10. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  11. «Writefag4» I'll have to think of Pone.
  12. «Globebutt» I rate in OCG. Alicorns won't be comin' from me.
  13. «HTBK» A description of the personality would be good.
  14. «HTBK» Beyond that, sky's the limit.
  15. «Mr.Jared» i want to do a random one
  16. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  17. «Mr.Jared» more fun that way
  18. «Globebutt» there is pones. pictures of 'em are all i have.
  19. «Writefag4» Oooh. I have some I'll steal from crossover images.
  20. «HTBK» Your stats are athletics (running jumping), mental fortitude(resisting ponification), charisma(Take a wild guess), stealth(sneaking, stealing), and talent (using magic, flight, and whatever Earth ponies do).
  21. «HTBK» Does anyone want a combat stat?
  22. «Mr.Jared» umm
  23. «Globebutt» well, stallions are scarce in the show
  24. «Mr.Jared» maybe react stat?
  25. «Globebutt» and if you wanted male oc that wasn't zepyhr or my namesake
  26. «HTBK» That'll do.
  27. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  28. «Globebutt» you'd have to settle for this unlovable faggot
  29. «Globebutt» has deleted a photo.
  30. «Writefag4» My entry is the one on the right. Maybe narcoleptic? Who knows.
  31. «HTBK» You can have up to 10 points in each stat, roll a D10 under the skill value to pass, you have 15 points to start with, the ponier you get the better you are at stats.
  32. «HTBK» Understood?
  33. «Writefag4» has uploaded a new photo.
  34. «Globebutt» I think so.
  35. «HTBK»
  36. «mckinnley» joined the chat.
  37. «HTBK» The room you want is WU, AH.
  38. «Globebutt» Euch, what is /with/ those ponies' designs? So dark, and such mismatched tails!
  39. «Globebutt» Ahem.
  40. «Writefag4» Check out these then.
  41. «Writefag4» has uploaded a new photo.
  42. «Writefag4» Also Yume Nikki.
  43. «Globebutt» your moonspeak means nothing
  44. «Writefag4» I wouldn't recomend any of those 3 though.
  45. «Mr.Jared» GM
  46. «Writefag4» has uploaded a new photo.
  47. «Globebutt» the rolz thing does not work
  48. «Mr.Jared»
  49. «Writefag4» Okay I'll stop uploading these. Still sticking with the first picture/right pony for my pony submission. Maybe brighten their colors a bit in your head.
  50. «HTBK» It seems to work.
  51. «Globebutt» that looks like a much better idea than those crazy ponies
  52. «Globebutt» i mean, the url won't work for me
  53. «Writefag4» has deleted a photo.
  54. «HTBK» Oh. Hm.
  55. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  56. «HTBK» Did you put in the right group name, or is it not even displaying that?
  57. «Writefag4» has deleted a photo.
  58. «Globebutt» there's some decent ponies there, except for the being undead and talentless and rotted from the grave shit
  59. «Globebutt» is not displaying
  60. «HTBK» Try refreshing or changing browsers, because it gave me shit at first.
  61. «Writefag4» Check the bottom of the original page.
  62. «Writefag4» It seems to pop an add that doesn't work but it generates ponies below.
  63. «Writefag4» Honestly I don't like those descriptions very much.
  64. «Globebutt» work off of them
  65. «Mr.Jared» dont work them for story
  66. «Mr.Jared» i already have one of those
  67. «Globebutt» give me the story idea
  68. «Mr.Jared» work then for the appearance
  69. «Globebutt» i'll throw colors at you or something
  70. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  71. «Mr.Jared» Blue coller guy who enjoys reading and ponies
  72. «Mr.Jared» owns a tazer
  73. «Mr.Jared» bs like that
  74. «Globebutt» we want the end to act like the start? why?
  75. «Globebutt» has deleted a photo.
  76. «Mr.Jared» anyways
  77. «Mr.Jared» il be waiting
  78. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  79. «Egg_Discord» Almost done with my Pony
  80. «Globebutt» Are we not doing the out-of-a-hat?
  81. «HTBK» We're doing it out-of-a-hat.
  82. «Writefag4» I thought we were each making a pony to put in our gaint hat.
  83. «HTBK» Do you guys have personalities to go with the pics?
  84. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  85. «Globebutt» not really
  86. «HTBK» Fun time for me, then.
  87. «Globebutt» just a bunch of dumb pictures
  88. «Writefag4» Half of one.
  89. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  90. «HTBK» So the players are Writefag, Globe, Egg, Jared. Did I miss anyone?
  91. «Globebutt» i don't know why i have some of these.
  92. «Egg_Discord» has uploaded a new photo.
  93. «Egg_Discord» How does the one I made look?
  94. «Globebutt» Too saturated. Remove freckles. Use a normal ear. Mane is smooth; tail is jagged.
  95. «Globebutt» Eye too dark. Green in hairband distracts from theme.
  96. «HTBK» It looks like I should make a snarky remark about Generalzoi, but go ahead.
  97. «Globebutt» What kind of remark?
  98. «Mr.Jared» this is why im not going to try to make a char
  99. «HTBK» I don't even know.
  100. «Mr.Jared» so il just do this
  101. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  102. «Mr.Jared» plz just randomize mine
  103. «Egg_Discord» has deleted a photo.
  104. «Globebutt» just call it a lavender pegasus mare with an azure, medium-short mane (specify smooth or jagged)
  105. «Egg_Discord» has uploaded a new photo.
  106. «Egg_Discord» How does that one look?
  107. «Globebutt» ogod did you turn /up/ the saturation?
  108. «Globebutt» pastels, man, good god!
  109. «Writefag4» Okay. Came up with personality for my pony. Coming up with some other traits.
  110. «Egg_Discord» has deleted a photo.
  111. «Egg_Discord» has uploaded a new photo.
  112. «Globebutt» mane's still a little bright
  113. «Globebutt» but close enough for our purposes
  114. «HTBK» It is worth noting that Rolz has a built-in chat function.
  115. «HTBK» Do you guys have names for these ponies?
  116. «Writefag4» Hmm. No. I'll think of one.
  117. «Writefag4» Hmm. I guess I shouldn't name my pony Snorlax.
  118. «Egg_Discord» I sage posted the link to this chat last night to avoid drawing attention
  119. «Writefag4» Why do we need names for these ponies we're turning into anyway?
  120. «Egg_Discord» Part of losing one's sanity
  121. «HTBK» I was just wondering if you had any. I was going to come up with some otherwise.
  122. «Mr.Jared» fine
  123. «Egg_Discord» Wouldn't it drive you a little nuts if you started thinking that you had TWO birthnames?
  124. «Shinto» As you go further on the pon scale, you start identifying with the pone name I guess?
  125. «Mr.Jared» il submit this as mine if possibru
  126. «Globebutt» Will-o-Wisp, Happy Daze... um...
  127. «Egg_Discord» I'll name my Pony Lavender Blue
  128. «Egg_Discord» It works because of her colors and thanks to that song "Lavender Blue"
  129. «Mr.Jared»
  130. «Globebutt» Sage Pone has no real name, and was mostly put there as a joke... Forget the coffee pony's name...
  131. «Globebutt» stick that fucker in the image bar
  132. «Writefag4» Not jitterbean?
  133. «Globebutt» jitterbean wasn't it, but sounds good to me
  134. «Globebutt» has deleted a photo.
  135. «HTBK» That hippie pone is now Summer Breeze.
  136. «Globebutt» has deleted a photo.
  137. «HTBK» And now you have that song stuck in your head.
  138. «Egg_Discord» Not really
  139. «Writefag4» Huh what? Why did mine get baleeted?
  140. «Egg_Discord» In fact that song...
  141. «Egg_Discord» Makes me feel fine.
  142. «HTBK» *clap clap clap*
  143. «Globebutt» So, Will-o-Wisp, Summer Breeze, Stawberry Freeze, Lime Slush...
  144. «HTBK» Which one is Wisp?
  145. «Globebutt» that was left to right
  146. «HTBK» Thank you.
  147. «Mr.Jared» has uploaded a new photo.
  148. «HTBK» An Hero, Jitterbean, and Lavender Blue.
  149. «Writefag4» has uploaded a new photo.
  150. «Mr.Jared» because i suck at making them
  151. «Writefag4» Hmm. Sweet dream sounds a bit too much.
  152. «HTBK» Everyone has their humans and their pones, then?
  153. «Mr.Jared» sso haha you can fuckign insult show canon
  154. «Globebutt» has deleted a photo.
  155. «Writefag4» Almost.
  156. «Globebutt» Actually, I might just have to dip out.
  157. «Globebutt» You said you were gonna encourage us to use human characters that were blatant self-inserts, n'est pas?
  158. «HTBK» Yep.
  159. «HTBK» (Lime Slush will haunt my nightmares.)
  160. «Globebutt» Well then, that works. Concern still that it's 1:11 AM-- perfect-- and the show's at 10, and I have to get up earlier to shower before finding a stream and watching it with franz.
  161. «HTBK» Oh shit, it *is* getting late.
  162. «Writefag4» Hmm. How about Quiet Nights?
  163. «Globebutt» For what?
  164. «Writefag4» My pony name.
  165. «Writefag4» Far far right.
  166. «Writefag4» Or whoever gets it.
  167. «Mr.Jared» skys
  168. «Mr.Jared» my chars name is sky
  169. «Mr.Jared» u jelly?
  170. «Writefag4» Pony name?
  171. «HTBK» All's aboard that's goin' aboard, then.
  172. «Mr.Jared» YAY!
  173. «Globebutt» Guess we go, then.
  174. «Mr.Jared» lets begin
  175. «HTBK» All of you roll a D7 in the rolz.
  176. «Writefag4» Do you need us to post pony tats?
  177. «Writefag4» stats.
  178. «Globebutt» I still can't get rolz to work.
  179. «Globebutt» I tried two browsers.
  180. «HTBK» Ah, dicks. I forgot that. Do the stats thing.
  181. «HTBK» You guys have those, right?
  182. «Globebutt» Shit, stats. Fuck. What do we do?
  183. «Globebutt» I'm at square... two, or something here.
  184. «HTBK» 15 points, maximum of 10 on everything but fortitude.
  185. «HTBK» Fortitude has max 5.
  186. «HTBK» Start with one free point in everything.
  187. «Globebutt» Repost what the stats are./
  188. «Writefag4» Quiet Nights: Likes napping. Takes it easy, maybe too easy. Has trouble forming her own opinons, lets others do the work sometimes. When she comes up with an idea its usually pretty insightful though.
  189. «HTBK» ath, stealth, char, fort, talent, reaction.
  190. «Globebutt» ath?
  191. «HTBK»
  192. «HTBK» Athletics.
  193. «Mr.Jared» leme make a word doc for all this shiz
  194. «Writefag4» I thought you wanted short descriptions for the ponies.
  195. «HTBK» Handy reference here.
  196. «Mr.Jared» nvm
  197. «HTBK» Thank you, Writefag.
  198. «HTBK» Rules to be added as they are written.
  199. «Writefag4» Do you want the hard stats for ponies too? Or are we just going off our human ones?
  200. «HTBK» Just the human ones.
  201. «Globebutt» Requested access for the doc. Check your gmail.
  202. «HTBK» Changed permissions to anyone with the link.
  203. «HTBK» All better.
  204. «Globebutt» Remind me also what reaction is.
  205. «HTBK» Dodging, countering, bitch-slapping.
  206. «HTBK» In the highly unlikely event that you get into fisticuffs with someone.
  207. «Globebutt» so now. 15 point pool to suppliment default 1 in all stats.
  208. «HTBK» Yep.
  209. «Globebutt» max 10 in a single stat
  210. «HTBK» Yep.
  211. «Egg_Discord» So I use ten die for all the stats?
  212. «HTBK» Yep. Roll a D10 when shit's on.
  213. «Writefag4» Doesn't 15 seem a little low? That means an average of 2.something.
  214. «Writefag4» 2.5
  215. «HTBK» I'll probably raise it later.
  216. «HTBK» Beta testing, and all.
  217. «HTBK» Post the stats here and roll.
  218. «HTBK» i'll need someone to roll in Globe's stead.
  219. «HTBK» If he consents, of course.
  220. «Writefag4» Oh wait. 1 base. Let me modify mine.
  221. «Globebutt» let me try something crazy
  222. «Mr.Jared» Athletics—2—Stealth—4—Charisma—2—Fortitude—2— Talent—3— Reaction—3—
  223. «HTBK» I stress that fighting will likely not be common, so you can skimp on Reaction.
  224. «Mr.Jared» wait 15 points to distribute or overall?
  225. «Writefag4» To distribute. Seems like we get 1 for free.
  226. «HTBK» 15 to distribute over all, but a free 1 in everything.
  227. «Writefag4» Athletics: 3, Fort: 3, Cha: 4, Stealth: 4, Talent: 6, Reaction 1.
  228. «HTBK» Which means you have 3 left over, Jared. I think.
  229. «Writefag4» Six
  230. «HTBK» Writefag, you're good.
  231. «HTBK» Make your roll and gird your loins.
  232. «Writefag4» Are we rolling on a site?
  233. «HTBK»
  234. «HTBK» The room you want is WU, AH
  235. «Globebutt» 2,3,4,3,5,3. Methinks. Damn shithole site may work on my laptop. I've yet to see.
  236. «Mr.Jared» Athletics—3—Stealth—4—Charisma—3—Fortitude—2— Talent—5— Reaction—2—
  237. «Writefag4» What am I rolling?
  238. «HTBK» A d7.
  239. «Writefag4» Rolling music:
  240. «Egg_Discord» Athletics-8 Fortitude-6 Charisma-2 Stealth-8 Talent-7 Reaction-8
  241. «HTBK» followed by a D6.
  242. «Egg_Discord» Shit, not again.
  243. «Egg_Discord» Hold on
  244. «Mr.Jared» 6
  245. «Mr.Jared» ...
  246. «HTBK» Double sixes.
  247. «Writefag4» A d7.
  248. «HTBK» You are...
  250. «Globebutt» Boxcars? Woah.
  251. «HTBK» Oh my.
  252. «HTBK» since this is our first time, feel free to reroll.
  253. «Shinto» Are you rolling for ponification now?
  254. «Writefag4» So I got a 6 , 2
  255. «Globebutt» fucking
  256. «Globebutt» school
  257. «HTBK» He is, Shinto.
  258. «Globebutt» wireless
  260. «HTBK» Jared, you are doomed to be poni'd.
  261. «Mr.Jared» plz...
  262. «Globebutt» Arright, works on my laptop.
  263. «HTBK» Roll your D7?
  264. «Globebutt» Gimme the room info again?
  265. «Writefag4» With phyiscal d20s I rolled a 1,1,1
  266. «Egg_Discord» Athletics-5 Fortitude-5 Stealth-2 Charisma-3 Talent-5 Reaction-2
  267. «HTBK» Look for WU, AH.
  268. «Mr.Jared» why me?
  269. «Writefag4» You don't even know if those numbers are good or bad.
  270. «Egg_Discord» So I roll two 6 die for ponification
  271. «Mr.Jared» 1d6 6 is bad
  272. «HTBK» Which one of you is Alric?
  273. «Egg_Discord» right?
  274. «HTBK» Roll a 7 and a six, Egg.
  275. «HTBK» 7 decides what you pull out of the hat.
  276. «» ShintoMe
  277. «HTBK» 6 decides how poni'd you are.
  278. «» ShintoI was just rolling for the sake of rolling
  279. «Mr.Jared» so what does this mean
  280. «Mr.Jared» HTBK?
  281. «HTBK» You'll see when the game starts.
  282. «Mr.Jared» i got a 5
  283. «Globebutt» Joining rooms is harder than it should be
  284. «Globebutt» i hate this rolz site so much
  285. «Egg_Discord» 5 by one
  286. «HTBK» snot perfect, but I like it.
  287. «HTBK» Egg, did you use the room?
  288. «Mr.Jared» which guy did i get?
  289. «Globebutt» i don't see how to find the room.
  290. «Egg_Discord» What room?
  291. «HTBK» The rolz room.
  292. «Egg_Discord» I was using a D&D roll
  293. «Mr.Jared» >wake up
  294. «Mr.Jared» >am pony
  295. «Mr.Jared» >what do?
  296. «HTBK» Eh, guess that'll work. Up or down, Egg?
  297. «Egg_Discord» Up or down for what?
  298. «HTBK» And Globe, you select your nickname, type in the name of the room, and hit "join".
  299. «Egg_Discord» Oh, Modifier
  300. «Egg_Discord» Modifier is up
  301. «HTBK» That'll work.
  302. «HTBK» Up/down was because Jared already rolled 5 on the hat roll.
  303. «HTBK» So I was asking if you wanted it to be a 4 or a 7.
  304. «Egg_Discord» Oh
  305. «Egg_Discord» How about Seven?
  306. «Egg_Discord» No, four
  307. «HTBK» Globe, would you prefer it if I rolled in your place?
  308. «Globebutt» Except "WU,AH" doesn't seem to do shit for me.
  309. «HTBK» There has to be a space after the Comma.
  310. «Globebutt» that is bad
  311. «HTBK» And Egg, you say you got a 5 on initial ponification?
  312. «HTBK» A one, I mean.
  313. «Globebutt» rolled in infernal room
  314. «Egg_Discord» Yes
  315. «Globebutt» 2 and 5
  316. «Egg_Discord» 5 and one
  317. «HTBK» Alright.
  318. «HTBK» Last call.
  319. «HTBK» Has everyone rolled?
  320. «Egg_Discord» I have
  321. «Globebutt» I have. And you got my stats, right?
  322. «Shinto» wait, so the first number is initial, and the second is...?
  323. «HTBK» No, first number is the hat roll.
  324. «HTBK» Second is initial.
  325. «HTBK» I have, Globe.
  326. «HTBK» Is everyone ready, then?
  327. «Globebutt» Ja wohl.
  328. «Shinto» Ah, I see.
  329. «HTBK» Okay.
  330. «Writefag4» What if two of us got the same numbers in the first roll?
  331. «HTBK» I ask up or down, like I did with egg.
  332. «Writefag4» Okay.
  333. «HTBK» In that case.
  335. ««««The actual game starts here»»»»
  337. «HTBK» Gamefaces on. And as we start, I would like to say that all of us are lameo RPfags, and it is awesome.
  338. «HTBK» now.
  339. «HTBK» *clears throat and puts on the GM voice*
  340. «Globebutt» (Where's the cheetos?)
  341. «Egg_Discord» (I gots Poptarts)
  342. «Globebutt» (Can I have a soda?)
  343. «Egg_Discord» You drank the last one
  344. «HTBK» *Last night, you'd gotten together with a gang of friends for a standard Friday night party. You got drunk, ordered pizza, played Xbox, maybe even ordered a hooker or two. Things were simple enough, and this was one of those parties where you seemed to get drunk quicker than normal. You can't quite recall what happened, but it's well into the afternoon when you wake up from the party. Egg was passed out over the back of the sofa, and Writefag was crashing on a beanbag chair.*
  345. «Globebutt» no, no, egg; this
  346. «Writefag4» (We're not using real names.)
  347. «Egg_Discord» has locked the chat.
  348. «HTBK» *Jared, when you finally come to, you notice that you're buried under a mountain of pillows and blankets that seem far too large to be owned by anyone other than a heavy quilt fetishist*
  349. «Egg_Discord» has unlocked the chat.
  350. «Mr.Jared» I roll to escape pillowy prison
  351. «Globebutt» heavy quilts
  352. «HTBK» *Globe, when you finally wake up, you can't quite tell where you are. But you can guess from the closed quarters and the lack of light that you've been stuffed into a closet somewhere.*
  353. «Globebutt» Aw, shit. How'd I fall asleep like this?
  354. «Mr.Jared» so soft...
  355. «Mr.Jared» guies?
  356. «HTBK» *Globe, when you speak, your voice cracks. It's an octave or two higher: it stands to reason that Egg has once again forced you to wear Beegees pants*
  357. «Writefag4» *I fail to wake.
  358. «Egg_Discord» *I drool in my sleep, me being near impossible to wake up*
  359. «Mr.Jared» *I attempt to scape the quilt mound*
  360. «HTBK» *Jared, when *you* speak, you immediately notice that something is distinctly wrong. Your voice is high, soft, and unnervingly...feminine. Unlike Globe, however, you do not seem to be wearing Beegees pants*
  361. «Mr.Jared» (do i roll?)
  362. «HTBK» (Nah, this is easy enough)
  363. «Mr.Jared» (yay)
  364. «Globebutt» (Roll to see if you're in Beegees pants.)
  365. «Mr.Jared» Guies?
  366. «Mr.Jared» what the fuck is going on?
  367. «Globebutt» (Can I hear Jared from my disco prison closet?)
  368. «HTBK» *With a pronounced squeak, you push your way through the comforters and onto the carpet. The first thing you notice is that the world seems to have grown about six times larger overnight. Globe, yes you can.*
  369. «Writefag4» Shuuuut uuuuup. I murmer from my beanbag bed.
  370. «Mr.Jared» Oh fuck! Guys, what the hell were in those brownies?
  371. «Globebutt» "I don't know! I... give me a minute."
  372. «Globebutt» I feel around for a way out Disco Prison.
  373. «Mr.Jared» Im going to do........ 1st things 1st
  374. «Egg_Discord» *Still sleeping, drool pouring out everywhere
  375. «Mr.Jared» time for some dark bean
  376. «Mr.Jared» *attempt to go to get dark roast*
  377. «Writefag4» I cover my face with my arm. Its hangover time.
  378. «HTBK» *Jared, you can quite clearly see the two layabouts passed out around the lounge. Writefag seems to have died his hair bright red, for some unfathomable reason. Globe, you easily find the door knob.*
  379. «Mr.Jared» Writefag
  380. «Globebutt» (My special talent is getting hung over!) I try to turn the knob, open the door, and step out into the... whatever-light.
  381. «» Shinto(hah, this is entertaining)
  382. «Writefag4» "Waaaat?"
  383. «Mr.Jared» What the hell did you do to your hair last night?
  384. «Mr.Jared» Its all red n shit
  385. «Writefag4» "Yeah sure whatever."
  386. «Writefag4» "Why didn't you guys tell me drinking sucked so much."
  387. «HTBK» *Jared, you swiftly realize that the coffee machine is up on the counter, which you cannot reach. God *dammit*. Globe, when you step out, the midmorning sun if filtering in through the window. If you happen to examine yourself, you will immediately realize several things. For one, your skin is a few tones darker than it was last night, and your hair is streaked with green; you have a terrible backache, and while you're not wearing Beegees pants, your hindquarters are most definitely cramped inside them*
  388. «Mr.Jared» no really you drunk bastard
  389. «Mr.Jared» guys
  390. «Mr.Jared» why is everything so big?
  391. «Mr.Jared» Fuck im high right now
  392. «Writefag4» I turn over and crawl under the beanbag chair without opening my eyes.
  393. «Globebutt» I rub my back. "There's a reason I don't normally fall asleep in closets."
  394. «Globebutt» (What did you mean by the "not wearing beegees pants [...] hindquarters cramped inside them" thing?)
  395. «Mr.Jared» Someone go get me coffee
  396. «Mr.Jared» i need to wake the fuck up
  397. «HTBK» *Globe, you notice that your shoulder blades are *freakishly* pronounced. Either you became a skeleton-man overnight, or someone nailed bowls to your back last night. In answer to your second question, you feel as if your pants are a few sizes too tight, even though they don't seem to be bothering your junk at all. Maybe someone stuffed a bowl down those, too.*
  398. «Mr.Jared» Oh yea Writefag,i need to slap you for some reason, i think you insulted me or something last night and i need to kick your ass
  399. «Egg_Discord» *Mutters something about big booty bitches in the midst of slumber*
  400. «Mr.Jared» idk
  401. «Writefag4» "I told you I never drank before and I wasn't responsible."
  402. «Mr.Jared» i cant think
  403. «Mr.Jared» where the hell are you?
  404. «HTBK» *Jared, it may occur to you at this point that in place of walking, you crawled to the coffee machine, without really thinking on it.*
  405. «Mr.Jared» Where is my fucking coffee?
  406. «Globebutt» I head over toward the kitchen, where I hear the others' voices.
  407. «Mr.Jared» Wait
  408. «Mr.Jared» Writefag, how tall are oour counters?
  409. «Writefag4» "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
  410. «Writefag4» I throw the beanbag chair.
  411. «Mr.Jared» ?
  412. «Writefag4» "Can't you do anything? It feels like jackhammers.
  413. «Writefag4» "
  414. «HTBK» *Globe, when you stick your head into the kitchen door, you may be forgiven for wondering if someone bought a decorative toy dog last night and dyed its fur a stupid color: what waits in the kitchen, and seems to be speaking with Jared's voice, is a bright blue quadrupedal animal with a bright pink mane. It is, not to put too fine a point on it, a pony. That, or the best acid trip ever.*
  415. «Writefag4» I stumble in the kitchen.
  416. «Globebutt» "...Jared?"
  417. «Mr.Jared» What?
  418. «Writefag4» I stick my head in the fridge.
  419. «Mr.Jared» *turns to globe?*
  420. «Globebutt» "You ever done acid before?"
  421. «Mr.Jared» umm
  422. «Mr.Jared» when did you get so big?
  423. «Mr.Jared» once ive done cid
  424. «Mr.Jared» was horrible
  425. «HTBK» *Writfag, not only do you see the gibbering lower mammal, you also notice that Globe is a few shades darker, has an utterly ridiculous hairstyle, and has two vestigial...somethings...growing on his back. He also seems to have stuffed a rabbit down the back of his pants.*
  426. «Writefag4» (As in open it and bury my face in it. Not actcually shoving my head through the door.)
  427. «Mr.Jared» Globe
  428. «Writefag4» I'm squinting to keep 99% of the light out. I probably don't notice.
  429. «Mr.Jared» wtf is up with you bro?
  430. «Egg_Discord» *rolls over onto the couch cushions, then bouncing onto the floor awkwardly*
  431. «HTBK» *Writefag, it smells a bit like old ham and piss.*
  432. «Mr.Jared» Guys, we havea issue here
  433. «Globebutt» "I think we musta done something /hard/ last night. Maybe it wasn't acid, but... you look like a pony."
  434. «Mr.Jared» I am tiny
  435. «Egg_Discord» *Somehow is still fast asleep*
  436. «Writefag4» "Yes yes we do. Now what do you drink to get rid of a hangover."
  437. «Writefag4» "Orange juice right?"
  438. «Mr.Jared» umm coffee?
  439. «Globebutt» "I'm feelin' some coffee right now."
  440. «Mr.Jared» Which i have not gotten yet :l
  441. «Globebutt» (Let's wait for the DM.)
  442. «Mr.Jared» *attempt to climb up counters*
  443. «Writefag4» "Not drinking that shit. Had enough brewed things."
  444. «Egg_Discord» *wakes up in a very odd sleeping position, extremely groggy*
  445. «Writefag4» I find my bottle of juice. Most of it is gone.
  446. «HTBK» *there is, in fact, a carton of OJ in the fridge. Glory glory hallelujah. Jared, after a minor expenditure of effort, you fall flat on your ass. Egg, you notice that your party buddies are raising a commotion in the kitchen over who-knows-what*
  447. «Mr.Jared» Oh uck
  448. «Writefag4» I ponder drinking it straight out of the bottle but decide to go for a glass. Who knows who's been drinking out of it.
  449. «Mr.Jared» i have hooves guys...
  451. «Globebutt» "I said you looked like a pony."
  452. «Mr.Jared» FUCKING
  453. «Mr.Jared» HOOVES
  454. «Writefag4» "KEEP IT DOWN!"
  455. «HTBK» *Jared. you do, in fact, have fucking hooves. Writefag, after a few moments of stumbling, you manage to fish a glass out of the cabinet. Just the thing to wake you up.*
  456. «Writefag4» I hold my head.
  459. «Egg_Discord» Whoa. Am I still dreaming?
  460. «Mr.Jared» WHAT THE FUCK!
  461. «Globebutt» I adjust my pants, and look over to where Egg's walked in.
  462. «Mr.Jared» *freakout*
  463. «Egg_Discord» Well shit. I guess I had more to drink that I thought I did.
  464. «HTBK» *tail. Ears. You're a fucking pony. Globe, you experience the inordinately uncomfortable sensation of a large mass of hair brushing up against your ass.*
  465. «Mr.Jared» *calm down*
  466. «Globebutt» (How's Egg look?)
  467. «Writefag4» (What size are we talking here?)
  468. «HTBK» *For Egg's bit, he seems to be largely the same as you left him last night. Lucky him, I guess.*
  469. «Mr.Jared» Guys... what the hell is going on?
  470. «Mr.Jared» ...
  471. «HTBK» (Nine inches or so.)
  472. «Globebutt» "I... ask me after coffee."
  473. «Mr.Jared» umm globe... can you hoist me up?
  474. «Globebutt» (Wait, nine inches? Ponies are supposed to be like three+ feet tall.)
  475. «HTBK» (Mea culpa, I put the wrong message. I thought for a moment you were asking about the size of the hair.)
  476. «Egg_Discord» Dude, this is the shittiest acid trip ever. Where's the dragons and the magma axes I was promised?
  477. «Globebutt» "I... why don't I just brew some for you? Go sit at the table. I'll bring out a couple mugs."
  478. «HTBK» (A cool 3 feet 5 inches, rightabouts.)
  479. «Mr.Jared» umm ok
  480. «Writefag4» (Okay. Was worried he was a fluffy pony.)
  481. «Globebutt» Presuming I know where all the coffee-making supplies are, I get shit percolatin'.
  482. «Mr.Jared» id take that bundle of whatever out of your pants before i sit down globe...
  483. «Mr.Jared» *head to table and attempt to sit in chair*
  484. «Globebutt» "I'm making coffee. Don't distract me. I don't want to think about whatever you're going to say."
  485. «Writefag4» I go get an ice pack from the fridge.
  486. «HTBK» *The coffee gets brewing nicely. Jared, not only have you experienced the displeasure of sticking your hoof down Globe's pants, you dislodge a mass of hair that seems stuck in place. While this makes Globe's pants a bit more comfortable, you can see that he either has a broom jutting out of his ass, I even need to say it?*
  487. «Mr.Jared» also make some breakfast while the acid trip wears off
  488. «Egg_Discord» Globe, did you put those Beegee pants on again? Why do you do this every time we get drunk?
  489. «HTBK» *Of course, having more comfortable pants would allow Globe to realize that they are not the Beegee pants, and that his voice is still a good deal higher than normal.*
  490. «Globebutt» "I said I'm bu... Hey!"
  491. «Egg_Discord» *Goes to fridge, grabs soda, and begins chugging it, still convinced he is having an acid trip*
  492. «Mr.Jared» (umm HTBK, i was simply making a statement)
  493. «Mr.Jared» (i did not want to touch his ass)
  494. «HTBK» (God dammit, I misread.)
  495. «Mr.Jared» (i use ** when i doa action)
  496. «HTBK» *Egg, unfortunately you are drinking generic brand cola.*
  497. «HTBK» (Thank you for informing me.)
  498. «Globebutt» (Perche stai toccando il culo mio?)
  499. «Mr.Jared» (do i taaste sarcasm in the air?)
  500. «Egg_Discord» I hate these generic cola brands. Who's house is this again?
  501. «Mr.Jared» Ok
  502. «Globebutt» (One of a precious few Italian phrases I know.)
  503. «Mr.Jared» this shit aint funny anymore
  504. «HTBK» (Beautiful phrase.)
  505. «HTBK» (Globe, have you removed you extra package by yourself?*
  506. «Mr.Jared» im going to leave this dream and wake up
  507. «Writefag4» (We're all rooming I'm assuming.)
  508. «Mr.Jared» *walks up to wall and bangs head against it*
  509. «Globebutt» (Tail? No, I'm leaving it alone. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Is it ready for pouring yet?)
  510. «Egg_Discord» (in that case)
  511. «Mr.Jared» WAKE UP!
  512. «Egg_Discord» Who bought the soda again?
  513. «HTBK» (In that case, your pants still suck, and they're unusually itchy.)
  514. «Mr.Jared» (i did, im just a little busy)
  515. «HTBK» *the coffee is ready within a few minutes, fortunately.*
  516. «Globebutt» "How many of you wanted coffee?"
  517. «Writefag4» I run my hand through my hair and put an ice pack on it. Its really cold.
  518. «Mr.Jared» I NEED TO WAKE UP!
  519. «Mr.Jared» FUCKING DO THIS!
  520. «HTBK» *Jared, the shock of pain in your head makes it plain that either you are not dreaming, or this is part of the dream*
  521. «Egg_Discord» Jared, you have the worst fucking taste in soda, you know that?
  522. «HTBK» *Writefag, you notice that your hair is a bit more...oily...than it was the night before.*
  523. «Mr.Jared» *stops cold*
  524. «Mr.Jared» guys
  525. «Mr.Jared» this is not a dream
  526. «Mr.Jared» im a pony...
  527. «Egg_Discord» *suddenly notices he is not wearing pants*
  528. «Mr.Jared» guys
  529. «Globebutt» "Coffee? Anyone?"
  530. «HTBK» *Jared is a pony. Egg, that's just obscene.*
  531. «Mr.Jared» Globe...
  532. «Writefag4» (No thats actually pretty normal. My hair is pretty oily if I don't wash it often enough.)
  533. «Mr.Jared» il take a cup
  534. «Mr.Jared» no wait
  535. «Egg_Discord» (I'm wearking boxers, though)
  536. «Mr.Jared» put it in a dog dish
  537. «Mr.Jared» i cant hold a cup, see?
  538. «Mr.Jared» *holds out a hoove*
  539. «Globebutt» "I can't see; I'm rooting through the cupboards!"
  540. «Egg_Discord» Shit, forgot to put my pants back on. Be back in a sec
  541. «Globebutt» I pull out a mug, and, presuming I find no stray dog bowls, a simple saucer.
  542. «Globebutt» Also take out the sugar bowl if I see it.
  543. «HTBK» *To recap. Jared is a pony, Globe's pants are stuffed, his back is warped, his voice is alarmingly high-pitched; Slush's hair is red, and Jared seems largely untouched. I, meanwhile, wear my sunglasses at night.*
  544. «HTBK» *That second Jared should be Egg*
  545. «Writefag4» (I thought my hair was red.)
  546. «Mr.Jared» (untouched?)
  547. «Egg_Discord» *walks to bedroom to grab pants, only to notice that all of their drugs are largely untouched. It is here that he finally realizes that this is not an acid trip*
  548. «Mr.Jared» ohh
  549. «HTBK» (That's what I meant, Writefag. your hair is red.)
  550. «Egg_Discord» *puts pants on and runs out to the kitchen*
  551. «HTBK» *Egg, this may be the worst realization of your entire life. Globe, the dishes are forthcoming.*
  552. «Mr.Jared» *sits near globebutts feet*
  553. «Mr.Jared» *lays on globebutts feet*
  555. «Globebutt» (Oi! You don't do that while a guy's workin' in the kitchen! I'm still movin' about!)
  556. «Mr.Jared» fine
  557. «Writefag4» I start jumping up and down. I have no idea how to deal with this.
  558. «Egg_Discord» has locked the chat.
  559. «HTBK» *WRITEFAG has evolved into KRONA MAKESHI*
  560. «Writefag4» (The alcohol. Not the pony. Still haven't come to grips with that.)
  561. «Mr.Jared» *goes over and attempts to jump up on table*
  562. «Egg_Discord» has unlocked the chat.
  563. «Globebutt» I grab the cream from the fridge, and see if there's any whiskey left.
  564. «mckinnley» would love to jump in on this fun but i gotta get some sleep
  565. «mckinnley» good night ponyfags
  566. «Mr.Jared» (bai)
  567. «Egg_Discord» (night McKinnley)
  568. «mckinnley» next time i see you, season 3 will be out
  569. «Globebutt» (I understand-- I should, too, really. Ciao.)
  570. «Writefag4» (Who is that?)
  571. «Egg_Discord» Jared, dude. You look like a horse.
  572. «HTBK» *Globe, you seem to have spent all the whiskey in last night's reveling. Off to the store. Goodnight, McKinnely, and presumably Globe. And Krona is that guy from Soul Eater whose catch phrase is "I don't know how to deal with this". I vaguely recalled his last name being Makeshi, but this seems to not be the case.*
  573. «Mr.Jared» *looks up to Egg, teary eyed*
  574. «Mr.Jared» i need a hug :'(
  575. «Mr.Jared» i cant hanndle all this
  576. «Egg_Discord» *starts tearing up too*
  577. «Egg_Discord» Dammit, now you're making me cry too! *hugs Jared*
  578. «Mr.Jared» (+3 to charm checks)
  579. «Mr.Jared» (yay +3 charm)
  580. «HTBK» *Jared would have Fluttershy crying like a girl right now. Egg, it takes you all of two seconds to realize that Jared apparently lost something between his legs in the party.*
  581. «Writefag4» "Okay. Okay. This isn't working. Maybe. Somone slap me."
  582. «Egg_Discord» Um, Jared, I have a question that may or may not alarm you...
  583. «HTBK» *yes, I know fluttershy always cries like a girl, but cut me some slack it's coming up on 2 AM.*
  584. «Globebutt» "Fuck! Can't make Irish coffee without whiskey." I shove the cream back in the fridge, pour coffee in the saucer and mug I've laid out on the counter, and head out toward the dining room.
  585. «Mr.Jared» ?
  586. «Globebutt» With the saucer and mug, of course.
  587. «Mr.Jared» what Egg?
  588. «HTBK» *writefag, no slapping seems forthcoming. Globe, it's hot, and steamy, and bitterer than a GOP representative. All is well.*
  589. «Egg_Discord» Did you get your dick and balls chopped off by that hooker last night, or have you always had a vagina.
  590. «Mr.Jared» (ok time to do what i should of done the whole time)
  591. «Writefag4» I stare off into the distance and slap myself.
  592. «mckinnley» left the chat.
  594. «Mr.Jared» *examine self completly*
  595. «HTBK» *Egg, you could be forgiven for wondering if you are channeling John Cheese. Writefag, your cheek stings.*
  596. «HTBK» *Oh hey, Jared! Your outtie's an innie!*
  597. «Globebutt» I set down the saucer in front of one spot on the table, and my mug at another before adjusting my pants in preparation for sitting down.
  598. «Writefag4» "Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. We're awake now."
  599. «HTBK» *And you apparently got an ice cream cone tattoed on each ass cheek last night. For some reason, looking at them calls the name "Strawberry Freeze" to mind...*
  600. «Globebutt» "I offered to make you coffee."
  601. «Globebutt» "You didn't respond when I offered."
  602. «Mr.Jared» ...
  603. «Writefag4» Finally awake I take stock of the room.
  604. «Mr.Jared» I AM A FUCKING WOMAN!
  605. «HTBK» *Globe, there's no denying it at this point. You're apparently wearing frontally-padded underpants, and someone stuffed a guinea pig down the back of your jeans. Writefag, you are prolly awake.*
  606. «Mr.Jared» when the hell did this happen?
  607. «Egg_Discord» I have no fucking idea!
  608. «Globebutt» I try to remove the cavy from my pants.
  609. «HTBK» *Jared. technically speaking, you're a mare. Writefag, the kitchen is littered with the detritus from the party. Empty bottles, discarded cups, and pizza boxes that have since been scoured clean.*
  610. «Egg_Discord» Wait a minute, YOU'RE ALL CHANGED!
  611. «Writefag4» (I probably meant the people. I'm having to reread to check everyone's status.)
  612. «Egg_Discord» What the fuck's going on?!
  613. «Globebutt» (Wait for the DM; wait for the DM...)
  614. «Mr.Jared» ...
  615. «HTBK» *Globe, you pull out a large tuft of hair some nine inches long and two inches thick. It seems pretty stuck, though.*
  616. «Mr.Jared» *poke vag*
  617. «Mr.Jared» *with hoove*
  618. «Globebutt» "Shit. I think I've got a tail."
  619. «Egg_Discord» Stop touching it, Jared! You're making this more awkward than it already is!
  620. «Egg_Discord» Does this mean we have to put the seat down now?
  621. «Mr.Jared» ...
  622. «Mr.Jared» You are not funny
  623. «HTBK» *Jared, you incorrigible slut. It feels just as good as it did last night. Egg, that's a very good question. Writefag: Jared==Pony, Egg==normal, Globe==tail and some kind of back protrusion.*
  624. «HTBK» *Globe, this seems accurate.*
  625. «Mr.Jared» New rule
  626. «Mr.Jared» Keep your dicks away from....... of fuck i cant say it
  627. «Globebutt» (Remind me how WF looks.) I try sitting down on the chair.
  628. «Mr.Jared» kapesh?
  629. «Writefag4» "Oh fuck you're a pony!"
  630. «Egg_Discord» Please DON'T say it.
  631. «Mr.Jared» agreed
  632. «Egg_Discord» *A lightbulb suddenly goes off inside my head*
  633. «Mr.Jared» although... i strangly crave
  634. «Globebutt» (WF, who was that directed at?)
  635. «Mr.Jared» *flops on back*
  636. «Mr.Jared» belly rub!
  637. «HTBK» *Writefag's hair is bright red, but that's it. Globe, while you can sit down well enough, it makes your tailbone distinctly uncomfortable. A moment later, you notice there seems to be nothing at all brushing against your...bits. Which is strange, because that usually happens when you sit down.*
  638. «Egg_Discord» Wait a second. How come I haven't been affected?
  639. «Writefag4» (Jared. He's slow on the uptake.)
  640. «Writefag4» (Reaction of 1 and all.)
  641. «Writefag4» (Also self centered.)
  642. «Egg_Discord» Jared, I'm not rubbing your belly
  643. «Egg_Discord» *eyes bulge widely*
  644. «Globebutt» I make a funny face as my butt hits the cushion, then stand back up again, and once more sit down.
  645. «Egg_Discord» Jared, PLEASE get off of your back! I can see your horse tits!
  646. «Mr.Jared» My what!?
  647. «HTBK» *Jared, you feel unfulfilled without forecoming scratchies. Also, he totally *can* see your crotchboob*
  648. «Globebutt» (Time to find a horse bra!)
  649. «HTBK» *Globe, it does not change. Your tailbone is uncomfortable, and nothing seems to be rubbing up against pink and pong.*
  650. «Mr.Jared» i did not even know horses.....
  651. «Mr.Jared» *gets back up*
  652. «Writefag4» "I don't even."
  653. «Mr.Jared» ...
  654. «Egg_Discord» Jesus, dude, what the hell?
  655. «HTBK» *Nobody does, Writefag. nobody does.*
  656. «Egg_Discord» Why did you want a fucking belly rub?
  657. «Mr.Jared» Ok, so we all are ponies, save you Egg, how bad?
  658. «Mr.Jared» i...i... i dont know
  659. «Egg_Discord» *inspects body*
  660. «Writefag4» (Can I see my own hair.)
  661. «Egg_Discord» Looks like I'm still completely normal.
  662. «HTBK» *Egg, you seem to have dodged the...everything.*
  663. «Globebutt» "No, no. I'm not a pony. I've just got a tail. And a backache."
  664. «HTBK» *Writefag, you can, if you look.*
  665. «Mr.Jared» Hmm
  666. «Mr.Jared» Globe, take off your shirt, i have a bad feeling...
  667. «Globebutt» "Totally normal. Slept in a closet last night."
  668. «Writefag4» "Yeah. My hair is. Red."
  669. «Writefag4» (No Homo)
  670. «Mr.Jared» What the hell are we going to do?
  671. «Globebutt» "I just..." I stand up, grab my mug, take a swig, and set it back down. "I've got a visit the bathroom."
  672. «Mr.Jared» We cant go out in public anymore
  673. «Globebutt» s/a/to/
  674. «Egg_Discord» Obviously not! You guys look like the freak show from Equestria.
  675. «Egg_Discord» With Jared as the ringleader
  676. «Writefag4» "Got something against gingers?"
  677. «Mr.Jared» (ps HTBK, it is better for you to throw ponification chanenges at us then for us to find them)
  678. «Mr.Jared» Hey!
  679. «Globebutt» I ignore them and head to the washroom.
  680. «HTBK» *Egg totally can, Writefag can...and Globe *probably* can if he wears a really heavy jacket.*
  681. «Writefag4» I follow globebutt. I can't properly see my hair. I think its just normal red.
  682. «HTBK» *Globe, the bathroom is waiting where it always is. How fortunate.*
  683. «Globebutt» I go in and close the door behind me.
  684. «Mr.Jared» I need to eat something, can someone help me?
  685. «HTBK» *You close the door, wash-blocking Writefag.*
  686. «Writefag4» I walk into the door.
  687. «Globebutt» (Seriously, who follows their friend to the bathroom? What are we now, girls? I mean, Jared and I may be mares, but...)
  688. «Egg_Discord» Jared, do you feel any different other than suddenly being a female blue and pink pony?
  689. «Globebutt» (Jared, I did set that coffee saucer out for you.)
  690. «Mr.Jared» oh yea
  691. «Mr.Jared» ()
  692. «Mr.Jared» almost forgot about that
  693. «Mr.Jared» *goes to coffee and drinks it*
  694. «Mr.Jared» well egg
  695. «Mr.Jared» i feel the constant need for someone to be petting me and a apple sound really fucking good right now
  696. «Mr.Jared» other than that
  697. «Mr.Jared» yeaa im perfectly normal
  698. «HTBK» *It's hawt and black, Jared. Like drinking Samuel L. Jackson.*
  699. «Globebutt» I lock the door and check inside my pants.
  700. «Egg_Discord» Oh no. I've read stories like this on the internet.
  701. «Writefag4» (Was hoping you'd forget to lock.)
  702. «HTBK» *Globe, it doesn't even take a few seconds to realize that junior is now missing. Or, to put it another way, YOU GOT A VAJAYJAY, HOMEBOY*
  703. «Globebutt» (Man, you're a shitty friend.)
  704. «Mr.Jared» Speaking of that, Egg, there is a scrach on my head i cant seem to get\
  705. «Writefag4» "Globe I want to come inside. I need to use the mirror."
  706. «Globebutt» Suddenly, a screeching sound can be heard from the bathroom. "Shit!"
  707. «Egg_Discord» Dude, I can't. Seriously, trust me on this.
  708. «Egg_Discord» It starts with a scratch.
  709. «Mr.Jared» DO EET!
  710. «HTBK» *Writefag, this is answered with a loud expletive*
  711. «Egg_Discord» Then you want to play fetch. Then you want to eat horse food, and then BAM! You're a pet inside and out.
  712. «Mr.Jared» (i want to roll for seduction)
  713. «HTBK» *egg, are you *really* going to turn down something that adorable?*
  714. «HTBK» (Go ahead, why not.)
  715. «Writefag4» "Let me in."
  716. «Globebutt» I pace around frantically. "Mirror, mirror... Mirror!" I try to bend around and get a good look at my back in the mirror.'
  717. «Mr.Jared» (what d is it, plus i have a 3 in charisma)
  718. «Egg_Discord» FINE. But if you start whinnying, and acting like a dumb horse, don't say I didn't warn you.
  719. «Globebutt» (Also, can we wrap this up in the next 20 minutes? So I can get some sleep before pre-preshow activities.)
  720. «Egg_Discord» *scratches Jared's fluffy pink hair*
  721. «HTBK» (With your current ponification level...very easy. Looks like you don't have to, though.)
  723. «HTBK» *Globe, it's plain to see. you have a tail. You have a vagoo. You have a cutie mark on your butt. Jared, meanwhile...well, roll a D10, please.)
  724. «Egg_Discord» SEE? YOU SEE? I told you this sort of thing would happen!
  725. «Writefag4» (So how shitty is this lock blocking me form the mirror?)
  726. «Mr.Jared» (3)
  727. «Globebutt» (No, no. I'm looking at my back. Like, where the backache's coming from.)
  728. «HTBK» (we'll try to put it on ice, Globe.)
  729. «HTBK» (Got it, Jared.)
  730. «Egg_Discord» Oh, god, Jared's mind is turning to poo!
  731. «HTBK» *In that case, Globe, there are two bony...things...jutting out of your shoulder blades.*
  732. «Globebutt» (Writefag, remind me /never/ to turn into a pony in a house with you. Not without at least two bathrooms on the ground floor.)
  733. «Mr.Jared» (what was the roll for HTBK?)
  734. «HTBK» (Ponification from ear scratches.)
  735. «Writefag4» (Noted.)
  736. «Globebutt» "Fuuuuuck." I unlock the door as I pass by, and go sit down in the corner. "Come in."
  737. «Mr.Jared» (guess i failed then?)
  738. «HTBK» (Not quite. Carry on.)
  739. «Mr.Jared» Do my sides egg!
  740. «Writefag4» "What is your problem man. I brush past Globe and check my hair out in the mirror. Is it longer?
  741. «HTBK» *Maybe by half an inch. No appreciable change, though.*
  742. «Globebutt» "Woman," I murmur.
  743. «Mr.Jared» Rub my sides Egg!
  744. «Egg_Discord» No! You're already full pony! I'm not losing you to your pony instincts!
  745. «Mr.Jared» (roll for seduction)
  746. «HTBK» (Make your roll.)
  747. «Egg_Discord» Listen to yourself, bro! You are asking me to rub the sides of your body
  748. «Mr.Jared» (d?)
  749. «Globebutt» (J, it's only seduction if you're appealing with your vag and crotchboobs!)
  750. «HTBK» (D10.)
  751. «Globebutt» (Otherwise, it's /charm/.)
  752. «HTBK» (Also, what Globe said.)
  753. «Mr.Jared» (ok rephrase to charm. is that better?)
  754. «Writefag4» "Huh? I grab my comb from my pocket and run it through. I check out Globe in the mirror. What exactly am I looking at?
  755. «HTBK» (Just make the roll.)
  756. «Mr.Jared» (3+3)
  757. «Writefag4» (Huh?) was the only part said out loud there.
  758. «Globebutt» (For the record: Were there crotchboobs by my vagina?)
  759. «HTBK» *3 is enough. Egg, you can't help but realize just how absofuckinglutely adorable Jared is. And he seems to be in control...why not?*
  760. «Globebutt» (That's one of the weirdest things I think I've ever typed or hope to ever type again.)
  761. «HTBK» (I'm gonna, Globe.)
  762. «Egg_Discord» Alright, fine! But don't ask me to rub your belly. *rubs Jared's sides*
  763. «Globebutt» "Vagina," I say softly.
  764. «Mr.Jared» ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  765. «HTBK» *He feels good on your fingers, Egg. fittingly enough, Jared, his fingers feel good on you. Roll a D10, Jared.)
  766. «Mr.Jared» Now that you mention it...
  768. «Mr.Jared» Belly, now!
  769. «Writefag4» (HTBK. What do I see in the mirror when I notice Globe?)
  770. «Mr.Jared» (10)
  771. «Globebutt» (Assume I was sitting in the corner holding my knees.)
  772. «Egg_Discord» I will NOT rub your belly! Absolutely not! I draw the line there!
  773. «Mr.Jared» (charisma roll)
  774. «Mr.Jared» (nutter 10!)
  775. «HTBK» *Egg, it stands to reason that Strawberry is about to flash her puppy eyes again. Writefag, see Globe, with a tail jutting out of her pants, two matching protrustions jutting out of her shoulder blades, and green streaks in her*
  776. «Writefag4» (Pants status?)
  777. «Globebutt» I kept my pants on.
  778. «HTBK» (Ask him.)
  779. «Egg_Discord» No, don't start with the puppy eyes, Jared. Don't you dare.
  780. «HTBK» (There you go.)
  781. «Mr.Jared» *uses the imfamous puppy err pony eyes*
  782. «HTBK» *Oh dear god. He's already done it. it so bad, really? Just a one-off thing, nothing to fuss over. Might help the both of you calm down.*
  783. «Writefag4» "What the matter with you? You look like shit."
  784. «Mr.Jared» *flops onto back*
  785. «Writefag4» I run the comb through my hair.
  786. «Egg_Discord» FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
  787. «Globebutt» "Thanks."
  788. «Egg_Discord» *rubs belly*
  789. «Mr.Jared» *is giggling profusly*
  790. «Egg_Discord» Jared! Are you still in there? JARED! STAY WITH ME! DON'T GIVE IN TO THE BELLY RUBS!
  791. «Egg_Discord» FIGHT IT, MAN!
  792. «Globebutt» I snap to attention, finally noticing the noise from the dining room. "What's going on out there?"
  793. «HTBK» *Jared, it sends shudders of absolute ecstasy all across your body. If Egg did this forever and ever, that would be the greatest thing ever. Roll D10.*
  794. «Mr.Jared» (7)
  795. «Globebutt» (Jared, are you trying to lose by the end of the first session?)
  796. «Egg_Discord» *I have descended into full blown panic*
  797. «Egg_Discord» GLOBE! JARED'S LOSING IT!
  798. «Mr.Jared» (idk, im just playing out my very crapy inital roll of full ponification)
  799. «Egg_Discord» HE'S BEGGING FOR BELLY RUBS!!!
  800. «HTBK» *Strawberry, you bite back the giggles as master rubs your belly. This is about the most fun you can remember having ever. Shame he's got nothing else to scratch now.*
  801. «Mr.Jared» (what are you implying HTBK?)
  802. «Writefag4» "You know. This isn't so bad." I murmer self absorbed to myself. Red isn't a bad color.
  804. «Egg_Discord» (wait, which pony will I turn into again?
  805. «HTBK» *red is not a bad color, Writefag. You look kinda badass.*
  806. «Globebutt» I get up out of my corner and grab Write by the arm.
  807. «HTBK» (Why spoil the surprise, Egg?)
  808. «Egg_Discord» (fine, fine)
  809. «Mr.Jared» (are you implying that I should have egg do... dirty things?)
  810. «Writefag4» "Yeah what?" I say.
  811. «HTBK» (Ew, ew no.)
  812. «Mr.Jared» ok
  813. «Egg_Discord» Jared! Say something! Something that doesn't involve rubbing you!
  814. «Mr.Jared» ()
  816. «Globebutt» "Can't you hear Egg out there? Quit staring at your pretty face!"
  817. «Egg_Discord» He's been begging me for belly rubs, and... and.. Well, JUST LOOK AT HIM!
  818. «Writefag4» (No homo?)
  819. «Egg_Discord» FUCK! WE'RE DOOMED!
  820. «Globebutt» I drag him out of the bathroom for a distance before full on running to the dining room.
  821. «Writefag4» "Tchst. Fine."
  822. «Mr.Jared» (ok fuuny buissness over, do i roll d10 to regain humaneness?)
  824. «Globebutt» I punch Egg in the face.
  825. «HTBK» (Not yet, Jared. Sitting pretty on 8 ponification points.)
  826. «HTBK» *Egg, Globe sees you grit those teeth*
  827. «Globebutt» (Roll athletics?)
  828. «Egg_Discord» (nice Gurren Lagann reference, HT)
  829. «Mr.Jared» ...
  830. «HTBK» (I was hoping someone would get that.)
  831. «Mr.Jared» oh shit...
  832. «Mr.Jared» what the fuck happened
  833. «HTBK» (Globe, I don't reckon you need to.)
  834. «Mr.Jared» and whya re you fuckign feeling me up
  835. «HTBK» *What happened, Strawberry, was the time of your life.*
  836. «Egg_Discord» Jared, you fucking lost it!
  837. «Egg_Discord» You were begging me for belly rubs!
  838. «Mr.Jared» da fuq!?
  839. «Egg_Discord» I thought you had gone full mindless pony!
  840. «Writefag4» (Fag)
  841. «Globebutt» (Egg, weren't you just punched in theface?)
  842. «Egg_Discord» Oh yeah, WHY DID YOU PUNCH ME, GLOBE?!
  843. «Mr.Jared» ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod
  844. «HTBK» *Jared, when you look up at Egg, you find it moderately difficult to think of him as something other than "master". Likely not a good sign. It takes you a moment to recall Globe and Writefag.*
  845. «Mr.Jared» *is staring intently at Egg*
  846. «Writefag4» "Seriously guys. Guys srrsly."
  847. «Globebutt» "Keep it together! We're not all turning into ponies!" I shout. "Though we might be turning into women," I add under my breath.
  848. «Writefag4» "Guys. Srsly."
  849. «HTBK» *He seems so...wonderful. The things that happen when you look at his crotch must never be recorded.*
  850. «Globebutt» "You're overreacting. Just cool down. It's gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. Everything will be okay."
  851. «Mr.Jared» *shudders*
  852. «Egg_Discord» No, everything will NOT be okay! Jared was in some fucking trance!
  853. «Globebutt» "But he's not now!"
  854. «Mr.Jared» Im not in a fucking trance mas, Egg
  855. «Globebutt» "See?"
  856. «Mr.Jared» eggy egg egg
  857. «Writefag4» "Small pony Jared is right."
  858. «Egg_Discord» Maybe not now but-
  859. «Mr.Jared» see, im fine.......
  860. «Globebutt» I wander over to the table and take another swig of coffee.
  861. «Egg_Discord» Wait, Jared, what were you about to call me?
  862. «HTBK» *Writefag seems to have become the Heavy Weapons Guy*
  863. «Mr.Jared» *keeps looking voer egg*
  864. «Writefag4» (HE IS SO SMALL! IT IS FAHNY TO ME!)
  865. «Mr.Jared» umm i dont know *epic poker face*
  866. «HTBK» *Luckily Globe, not even having lady-parts can dull the taste of good coffee.*
  867. «Globebutt» Damn straight it can't.
  868. «Mr.Jared» umm globe, can you refill my cup
  869. «Mr.Jared» i seem to have drained it
  870. «Globebutt» "Sure."
  871. «Mr.Jared» i ned to think
  872. «Globebutt» I pick up Jared's bowl and take it over to the kitchen. I fill it up, and bring it back out to the dining room.
  873. «Mr.Jared» thank you
  874. «Writefag4» "Don't you think thats a lot of coffee?"
  875. «Mr.Jared» dude\
  876. «Mr.Jared» i live by the cup of coffee
  877. «Mr.Jared» dont you think so... damn it
  878. «Writefag4» "You're probably half your old weight."
  879. «Egg_Discord» *still shaking in fear, I sit down with my soda*
  880. «Mr.Jared» *looks at egg*
  881. «HTBK» *Globe, as you set the bowl down, it occurs to you that it's a much better vessel than a mug. Roll fortitude.*
  882. «Globebutt» "It's a pretty small saucer," I whisper to Writefag.
  883. «Mr.Jared» i keep wanting to call you... nevermind
  884. «Writefag4» "I don't know how you guys stomach so much caffeen. Look how wired you all are.
  885. «Writefag4» "
  886. «Globebutt» (Heresy! There's a mug on my fuckin' ass! Or. Well. Will be.)
  887. «Mr.Jared» well ima fucking pony so who cares
  888. «HTBK» (Heresy is fun.)
  889. «Egg_Discord» No, no. Let's hear what you have to say.
  890. «Writefag4» "Fine whatever. I'm not taking you for a walk when it catches up with you."
  891. «Egg_Discord» Share with the class. What exactly DO you want to call me?
  892. «Mr.Jared» A walk!? OHMIGOSH
  893. «Globebutt» has uploaded a new photo.
  894. «Writefag4» "Or I guess it has to be me. Egg's a mess and Globe can't go outside.
  895. «Globebutt» (Looks like I rolled a ten. Then an eight. I hate that rolly site.)
  896. «HTBK» *Globe, it takes you a second to realize that you've dropped to all fours and have begin to filch Strawberry's coffe*
  897. «Mr.Jared» umm, ................................................................................................. frank?
  898. «Egg_Discord» *I can't take anymore. I faint out of shock at what Jared said*
  899. «Mr.Jared» MASTER!
  900. «Mr.Jared» *runs up to*
  901. «Mr.Jared» wake up!
  902. «Mr.Jared» ...
  903. «Writefag4» "Shit." I mutter to myself.
  904. «Writefag4» Initiate plan tackle pony.
  905. «Mr.Jared» Hes out cold...
  906. «Globebutt» (Did anyone notice?)
  907. «HTBK» (Only if Writefag wasn't looking at Egg.)
  908. «Writefag4» (Shit was equally at both events. Passing out and you jumping into the bowl.
  909. «Writefag4» First we see if I can lift this pony.
  910. «HTBK» (There you go, then.)
  911. «Globebutt» I blink and sit down on the floor. (Did I notice the passing out?)
  912. «HTBK» (I think it would've been a trifle hard to miss.*
  913. «Writefag4» "Jared. Come on man. Get off him."
  914. «Writefag4» "Globe what are you doing sitting on the floor again?"
  915. «Mr.Jared» No, you want him for yourself!
  916. «Globebutt» "I don't know what came over me."
  917. «Writefag4» "Am I gonna have to suplex a pony?"
  918. «Mr.Jared» you shall not have... you son of a bitch drank my coffee
  919. «Globebutt» "I didn't mean to!"
  920. «Writefag4» I drop Jared. Assuming I lifted him and start dragging Egg.
  921. «Mr.Jared» *runs up and tackles globebutt, turns out to be mroe of a pomf*
  922. «Writefag4» Towards the living room again.
  923. «Globebutt» I've been trying to back up when Jared hits me.
  924. «Mr.Jared» (forget that last thing then)
  925. «Mr.Jared» (wait)
  926. «HTBK» *Globe, this is probably the weakest attack you have ever suffered.*
  927. «Mr.Jared» (who does whay?)
  928. «Egg_Discord» *I am having terrifying nightmares of everyone turning into ponies*
  929. «Writefag4» I drag Egg to the living room couch.
  930. «HTBK» *Egg, you realize. YOU ARE THE PONIES*
  931. «Mr.Jared» (and then egg was a pony?)
  932. «HTBK» *He just sorta sits there. It's better than the floor, Writefag.*
  933. «Egg_Discord» *unable to wake up currently, my body starts convulsing violently*
  934. «Mr.Jared» EGG!
  935. «Writefag4» "Hey egg. What did the five fingers say to the face?"
  936. «Mr.Jared» *runs over and begins hoove slapping egg*
  937. «Egg_Discord» *suddenly wakes up*
  938. «Globebutt» I pick Jared up and set him down next to the coffee dish. "Drink your coffee. I've got my own."
  939. «Egg_Discord» Oh god!
  940. «Egg_Discord» What happened?! I'm still human, aren't I?
  941. «Mr.Jared» mast, egg, you are ok!
  942. «HTBK» *Egg, you are still human. You are not the ponies.*
  943. «Mr.Jared» *begins sobbing*
  944. «Mr.Jared» if you had not woken up...
  945. «Mr.Jared» *continuers*
  946. «Egg_Discord» Oh god! Jared, you did it again! You almost called me that wo-
  947. «Writefag4» "Easy Jared." I drop my hand on his head.
  948. «Egg_Discord» *face goes deathly pale, jaw dropping*
  949. «Egg_Discord» *slowly turns toward Jared*
  950. «Egg_Discord» Jared. Were you about to call me "master"?
  951. «Mr.Jared» What can i do for you!
  952. «Globebutt» I chug the rest of my coffee, still in the other room, and just try massaging my back. What I totally don't know to be wings are probably bothering me a little.
  953. «Mr.Jared» *stops self*
  954. «Egg_Discord» Answer the question.
  955. «Mr.Jared» ...
  956. «Egg_Discord» And don't lie! I know you weren't about to call me Frank.
  957. «Writefag4» "Jared?" I rub my hand on her head a little before removing it.
  958. «Mr.Jared» sorry master, it won't happen again
  959. «HTBK» *Yeah, Globe. They're sore, but you can probably conceal them with a good jacket. If you play it right, you can probably go out in public.*
  960. «HTBK» (You guys wanna call it in 15?)
  961. «Egg_Discord» *mind=snapped*
  962. «Mr.Jared» (sure)
  963. «Writefag4» (No.)
  964. «HTBK» (It's getting irresponsibly late.)
  965. «Globebutt» (Yeah.)
  966. «Egg_Discord» Jared, why did you call me master?
  967. «Egg_Discord» (No, but if you guys are tired, I can call it a night)
  968. «Mr.Jared» because you are so.............
  969. «HTBK» (Oh. Alright, Writefag. I suppose I can run a bit just for you, I got nothing better to do tonight.)
  970. «Mr.Jared» oh god why am i
  971. «HTBK» (This is mostly for Globe's sake, so I can stay up for the restayas.)
  972. «Mr.Jared» its seems so right though
  973. «Egg_Discord» Jared, listen to me *grabs Jared's face*
  974. «Mr.Jared» (i can go for the 15)
  975. «Mr.Jared» Yes maste...
  976. «Mr.Jared» yes eeeeeeggggggggggg
  977. «Writefag4» "Jared. You're not helping."
  978. «Egg_Discord» You are not a pet. I am not your master. We are room mates. Your name is Jared. Do you understand?
  979. «Writefag4» (I meant Egg."
  980. «Writefag4» )
  981. «Globebutt» I head over to... the living room? Wherever they are.
  982. «HTBK» *Jared, you wonder why master is saying such hurtful things. Wait, no, that's not right...*
  983. «Egg_Discord» Write, what the hell am I supposed to do? Jared thinks he's my pet now! What else am I gonna do?
  984. «Writefag4» You stop telling her what to do for starters.
  985. «Mr.Jared» *what do you mean voices in ym head?*
  986. «Egg_Discord» ...Shit, you're right. Sorry Jared
  987. «Writefag4» "Jared I will slap you."
  988. «Writefag4» "Get your head in the game here."
  989. «HTBK» *Strawberry, why's master trying to push you away...?*
  990. «Globebutt» (GM, did we have plans for today?)
  991. «Mr.Jared» *does he not want me anymore? :'(*
  992. «Egg_Discord» Alright, Globe, Write, we gotta think of something.
  993. «HTBK» (Mneh, nothing really big. Take your Z's, man, guess we can pick this up later)
  994. «HTBK» *You need to prove that you deserve him; show him that you're good, somehow...*
  995. «Writefag4» "Jaaaaareeeed. Jared?" I put my hand on his head again?"
  996. «Globebutt» (I was promised ten more minutes!)
  997. «HTBK» (10 more minutes it shall be, man.)
  998. «Egg_Discord» Jared's practically gone, and we could be next!
  999. «Globebutt» "I'm just thinkin' 'bout whiskey right now."
  1000. «Mr.Jared» Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy master
  1001. «Writefag4» "Jared!" I forcefully turn his head towards me.
  1002. «Mr.Jared» *nuzzles against chest*
  1003. «HTBK» (You had to go shopping, and a movie woulda been nice. But you're wise enough to not schedule something important for Saturday.)
  1004. «Egg_Discord» Jared, stop that! Get a grip!
  1005. «Egg_Discord» You're losing it!
  1006. «Writefag4» "Egg plz go."
  1007. «Mr.Jared» Who is this jared master?
  1008. «HTBK» *Egg, nobody would judge you if you just started screaming and never stopped*
  1009. «Writefag4» "Seriously. Just in another room for a while."
  1010. «Egg_Discord» *Egg starts uncontrollably screaming and runs out, locking himself inside of his room*
  1011. «Globebutt» "He really is bonkers," I observe, trying to lean casually against a wall. (The wings aren't helping.)
  1012. «Mr.Jared» MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1013. «Writefag4» Writefag used tackle.
  1014. «Mr.Jared» *jumps up and begins to forcfuly pund on the door*
  1015. «HTBK» *Vestigial wings are, in fact, rather awkward to lean on things with*
  1016. «Globebutt» "I'm... I'm gonna go shopping. Did we need anything at the store?"
  1017. «Mr.Jared» come out master!!!!!!
  1018. «Mr.Jared» i need you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1019. «HTBK» *Whiskey, OJ, and bacon. Gotta have the bacon.*
  1020. «Egg_Discord» *starts rocking back and forth in the fetal position* We're gonna end up just like him! We're gonna be turned into someone's pet pony. This can't be happening!
  1021. «Writefag4» "Anti horse pills."
  1022. «Egg_Discord» *Finally breaks out in tears, scared and confused*
  1023. «HTBK» *Egg? Nobody judges you.*
  1024. «Mr.Jared» *begins crying, begin charisma checks*
  1025. «Writefag4» I drag small horse away from the door and close him in my room.
  1026. «Mr.Jared» (it is possivle right?)
  1027. «Globebutt» "I'll be sure to ask the pharmacist if they have any."
  1028. «Mr.Jared» come back to strawberry!
  1029. «Globebutt» (How's the weather outside?)
  1030. «Writefag4» I sigh deeply. "Come on Jared. What happened to you?"
  1031. «Mr.Jared» (1)
  1032. «Globebutt» "You're name's Jared," I snap at the horse.
  1033. «Egg_Discord» *at the sound of hearing the name Strawberry, my heart sinks*
  1034. «HTBK» *Fortunately for all, the combination of distance and locked doors and the man-tears mean you have to contest with other things. The whether is, incongrously, pretty nice. It's cold, on account of being November, and it is overcast. It may rain later, but for now it's pretty alright.*
  1035. «HTBK» weather*
  1036. «Mr.Jared» No its not!
  1037. «Egg_Discord» He's gone. Jared's gone. What did we do to deserve that?
  1038. «HTBK» *Writefag, Strawberry's cries give you a few sympathy pangs. She's uncomfortably adorable*
  1039. «Mr.Jared» (HTBK could i make another char once i go full strawberry?)
  1040. «HTBK» (In the event that you do, and nobody shocks you out of it.)
  1041. «Writefag4» "Soooo. Jared. How we going to work through this."
  1042. «Globebutt» Assume I have some sort of heavy coat conveniently located by the garage, then? I put it on, as best as I can, then, grab keys and wallet and get into the car.
  1043. «Egg_Discord» (what's strawberry's color scheme again?
  1044. «Egg_Discord» *)
  1045. «Globebutt» It's the third pone from the left.
  1046. «Mr.Jared» (blue and pink)
  1047. «HTBK» *The car seat is a pain in the ass. Or rather, the back. But you can drive perfectly well.*
  1048. «HTBK» (What they said.)
  1050. «Mr.Jared» please come back
  1051. «Mr.Jared» il let you do anything to me
  1052. «Mr.Jared» just come back
  1053. «HTBK» *It's awful Gollum in here, Egg. Only now Gollum is offering to suck you off.*
  1054. «Writefag4» Sigh. "Okay. We'll start there. Why do you call Egg master?"
  1055. «Mr.Jared» Because he is amazing!
  1056. «Mr.Jared» No other pony can be as amazing as master
  1057. «Writefag4» "Uh huh. And thats because?"
  1058. «Globebutt» Do I roll anything to pick up the usual whiskey, OJ, and bacon?
  1059. «Egg_Discord» ( okay, I fucking lost it when I pictured Gollum asking to suck dick)
  1060. «HTBK» (Glad to be of service.)
  1061. «Mr.Jared» Just evey aspect!
  1062. «Writefag4» "So nanoka? Tell me a few."
  1063. «HTBK» *At the store, Globe, you pick up the OJ easy enough. When you get to the bacon, however, you throw up a little bit in your mouth. The sheer stench of it, the thought of so many friends and neighbors and colleagues being slaughtered for this...*
  1064. «Egg_Discord» Okay, get a grip, Egg! Get a GRIP! Let's think. What happened last night? WHY is this happening.
  1065. «Egg_Discord» *I've finally gotten it all out of my system*
  1066. «Mr.Jared» why so many questiopns huh!? why do you want to knw about master!?
  1067. «HTBK» *Egg, you remember ordering the pizza--four of them, in fact. You remember that the booze was particularly good last night, and you remember that it hit you faster than it usually would...*
  1068. «Globebutt» (Neighbors and colleagues? My roommates' rooms may be pig stys, but...)
  1069. «Egg_Discord» Oh god! THE BOOZE!
  1070. «HTBK» (Sudden-onset pony reflex, globe.)
  1071. «Writefag4» "Thats what psychiaststs do right? Ask quiestions."
  1072. «Egg_Discord» That explains why it knocked me out faster!
  1073. «Globebutt» Can I grab Canadian bacon and hope they don't notice?
  1074. «Writefag4» "So how about this. How long have you called him master."
  1075. «Mr.Jared» For as long as i lived, does it matter how long?
  1076. «Egg_Discord» What brand of beer did we get? It wasn't the usual stuff...
  1077. «HTBK» *Even looking at it makes you feel a bit queasy. Touching it makes you feel dirty, and the idea of eating it is right up there with kicking pregnant women.*
  1078. «Writefag4» "Well. The fact that until about an hour ago you called him Jared. As did the rest of us.
  1079. «Mr.Jared» *goes abck to scraching at door*
  1080. «Mr.Jared» MASTER!
  1081. «Globebutt» I put it in the cart anyway, and hide it under the whiskey. And look for something like cookies to hide it under more.
  1082. «Globebutt» Or, basket. Let's say I'm using a dorky shopping basket. Carts are a pain.
  1083. «Writefag4» I sigh and guide her away from the door again.
  1084. «Mr.Jared» *smacks away writefag*
  1085. «Writefag4» "He's worried you know."
  1086. «Mr.Jared» Why should he be, he could unlock this door and we could be together and happy again!
  1087. «HTBK» *Egg. You got a few bottles of Jack, 2 Abita six-packs, a case of Rolling Rock, and...holy shit, you guys drank a lot...and a case of the local stuff from the place that opened up a few weeks back.*
  1088. «Globebutt» (But he wouldn't be happy!)
  1089. «Mr.Jared» *keeps banging on door*
  1090. «HTBK» *Globe, there's about a dozen kinds of oreo and chips ahoy and...carrots, and corn, and boxes of oats, and apples and oranges and pears and LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY YOU FOOL ROLL FORTITUDE OH GOD YOU JUST WANT TO RIP THE PLACE APART*
  1091. «Writefag4» I sit down on my bed. "So. You've been calling him master all your life?"
  1092. «Globebutt» 1.
  1093. «Mr.Jared» You know what master, fine, have it your way
  1094. «Mr.Jared» i hope you are sorry for ignoring me
  1095. «Mr.Jared» *walks to kitchen*
  1096. «HTBK» *Slow clap. It's like setting fire to a hundred dollar bill, but you resist the urge to attack the vegetation.*
  1097. «Writefag4» (You're closed in my room.)
  1098. «Mr.Jared» (oh yea)
  1099. «Mr.Jared» (ignore that)
  1100. «Egg_Discord» It had to be the local stuff. What was it called again?
  1101. «Mr.Jared» hmhmmmhmhmhmhmhmmhmmmmmmhmhmhmhmh]
  1102. «Writefag4» "Was that a yes?"
  1103. «Mr.Jared» bye-bye master
  1104. «HTBK» *As memory serves, it was...Dark Horse, you think. A more genre-savvy person may have seen this coming.*
  1105. «Globebutt» I head to the checkout, pay in cash, and take my shit to the car.
  1106. «Mr.Jared» *CRASH*
  1107. «HTBK» *Attempted suicide. Smart move, Strawberry. He can't ignore you now.*
  1108. «Egg_Discord» ...Oh god damn it. I should've fucking seen it coming. Come to think of it-
  1109. «Mr.Jared» (^this bitch gets it)
  1110. «HTBK» (Skill.)
  1111. «Writefag4» (What did pony do?)
  1112. «Egg_Discord» *opens door suddenly* What the hell just happened out here?
  1113. «Globebutt» (I hope that wasn't the sound of Globebutt pulling into the garage.)
  1114. «Egg_Discord» (also, what's Jared's current ponification level?)
  1115. «HTBK» *You manage to pack up and get in the car easy enough, Globe. Good on you for managing to resist your...urges...but there's a difference between surviving and fixing the problem.*
  1116. «HTBK» (Eight, Egg.)
  1117. «HTBK» (Eight flat.)
  1118. «Writefag4» (What did Jared do?)
  1119. «HTBK» (Ask him.)
  1120. «Globebutt» I drive home and presumably arrive... after some time passes.
  1121. «Writefag4» (What did you do?)
  1122. «Mr.Jared» (tip your dresser or other generic heavy object onto myself)
  1123. «Mr.Jared» (did it work?)
  1124. «Globebutt» (I'm gonna take a bathroom break right now, but I'll be back for some time more.)
  1125. «Egg_Discord» *runs to Write's room* Write! What the fuck just happened in there?
  1126. «Writefag4» "Complications!"
  1127. «Writefag4» I lock the door then lift up the dresser.
  1128. «HTBK» *Globe, as you begin the drive, the most astounding aroma in the world assaults your nose. It takes you just a second to place it: a perfectly brewed black blend, shot up with cocoa and peppermint for Wintertime. It seems to be emanating from the local coffee store...and you could easily see yourself beating an old lady to get some.*
  1129. «Egg_Discord» It sounded like something fell over!
  1130. «Writefag4» Yeah something fell over.
  1131. «Writefag4» My dresser. Right onto Jared.
  1132. «Mr.Jared» (HTBK do i roll for severity or something?)
  1133. «HTBK» (Eh, I wouldn't say it's more than superficial wounds. Maybe some bruises.)
  1134. «Egg_Discord» Shit! Is he alright?
  1135. «Writefag4» "Out cold I think."
  1136. «Mr.Jared» *turns to egg*
  1137. «Writefag4» (Locked out.)
  1138. «Mr.Jared» (nvm im out cold)
  1139. «Writefag4» (You could be faking.)
  1140. «» Shinto left the chat.
  1141. «Egg_Discord» Shit! Hopefully it will buy us some time! I figured out why you guys are changing!
  1142. «Mr.Jared» (if and when i do make a new char, it will still be jared, just treat this guy as some other ahole)
  1143. «Globebutt» I look for where to park, and see if there are any conveniently located old ladies to beat for coffee.
  1144. «Writefag4» "He really wants to get to you."
  1145. «HTBK» *You don't even have to leave your current spot; you can just make a jaunt across the parking lot. There's probably at least one old lady inside.*
  1146. «Mr.Jared» *wakes up*
  1147. «Mr.Jared» master?
  1148. «Writefag4» "So lay it on me? Why we pony now?"
  1149. «Egg_Discord» It was that Dark Horse beer! The local stuff we picked up!
  1150. «Mr.Jared» hmm
  1151. «Globebutt» I go inside, of course.
  1152. «Mr.Jared» horse beer, sounds yummy master!
  1153. «Writefag4» So did you not drink any of it or something"
  1154. «Writefag4» "Don't respond to that."
  1155. «Mr.Jared» master!
  1156. «Egg_Discord» Shit, he's awake isn't he?
  1157. «Mr.Jared» You came back!
  1158. «Writefag4» "If you want him to speak to you you have to call him Jared."
  1159. «Mr.Jared» (you mean egg?)
  1160. «Globebutt» (You mean Egg.)
  1161. «Writefag4» (Yes.)
  1162. «Egg_Discord» (You mean Egg, Write?)
  1163. «Writefag4» "You have to call him Egg."
  1164. «Mr.Jared» but why?
  1165. «Writefag4» Because its his name.
  1166. «HTBK» *The coffee shop is tended by a pair of twentysomethings, who simply wait at the counter and take the check. Instead of a traditional spigot, they're running their godlike brew through a small trough on the counter: you are meant to pick up your mug, take as much as you like from the stream, and pay when you're done. Some part of you is wondering, though, why you have to bother with the mug...*
  1167. «Mr.Jared» but...
  1168. «Mr.Jared» ...
  1169. «Mr.Jared» egg
  1170. «Egg_Discord» Yes, Jared?
  1171. «Mr.Jared» ITS NOT JARED!
  1172. «Egg_Discord» Yes, it is!
  1173. «Globebutt» Do I happen to have a travel mug with me?
  1174. «Mr.Jared» How can you forget me name so easly master?! its strawberry!
  1175. «Writefag4» "Small steps Egg."
  1176. «Writefag4» "Don't respond at all unless he calls you Egg."
  1177. «HTBK» *Strangely enough, you think you kept one in the car. Even if you don't want to fetch it, though, they keep several on the counter for customer use*
  1178. «Egg_Discord» *acknowledges what Write says and says nothing*
  1179. «Mr.Jared» mast, egg, if im not strawberry... then who am i?
  1180. «Globebutt» Well, that's handy. I ask the twenty-somethings about the brew.
  1181. «Writefag4» I run my hand through my hair.
  1182. «Writefag4» "Hmm. Would you like to go out and see him?"
  1183. «Egg_Discord» Your name is Jared, and you are a person who was turned into a Pony.
  1184. «HTBK» *They tell you that it is...*exactly*...what your nose said it was.*
  1185. «Egg_Discord» No, no, not yet, Write.
  1186. «Egg_Discord» Not until he acknowledges his real name.
  1187. «Mr.Jared» YES! id love to go out and see mast, egg...
  1188. «Writefag4» "I wasn't talking to you."
  1189. «Globebutt» I ask if I can buy the blend. And I grab a mug full.
  1190. «Writefag4» (That was to Egg.)
  1191. «Mr.Jared» (void)
  1192. «HTBK» *The clerk nods and tells you to have as*
  1193. «Writefag4» "Egg you go out and sit on the couch."
  1194. «Mr.Jared» Egg, you know me... right?
  1195. «Egg_Discord» Fine. *walks over to couch and sits there, a very agitated look on his face*
  1196. «Egg_Discord» Yes, Jared. I know who you are.
  1197. «Writefag4» "Jared we're going to go out there but we aren't going to jump up on the couch with him. You're going to stay over by me. Got it?"
  1198. «Globebutt» Err, I meant, I'd like the beans and whatever they're using to brew the coffee. I'd like to make some at home.
  1199. «Writefag4» "Otherwise we can come back in here."
  1200. «Mr.Jared» ...
  1201. «Mr.Jared» understood
  1202. «Writefag4» "And I can keep talking about all the psychology I think I know things about."
  1203. «HTBK» *With a nod, they hand you a bagful. It's not so expensive that you have to um and err over it.*
  1204. «Writefag4» "Alright good."
  1205. «Globebutt» Well of COURSE it's not.
  1206. «Writefag4» I open up the door. To let him/her out.
  1207. «Mr.Jared» trots out
  1208. «Mr.Jared» **
  1209. «Egg_Discord» ..Hey, Jared.
  1210. «Mr.Jared» ...
  1211. «Writefag4» "Okay I take a seat on the floor. Close enough that I think I could stop Jared from reaching Egg if the need arose.
  1212. «HTBK» *As you take the bag, globe, you realize something. The pot is completely unnecessary: you can smell the carefully-treated beans right through the package, and you are very hard-pressed to find a reason to not tear it open and wolf the contents down whole...*
  1213. «Writefag4» "Okay" lets start with Jared here.
  1214. «Globebutt» I buy a second bag to snack from on the way back.
  1215. «Mr.Jared» *is shaking*
  1216. «Writefag4» "Lets start with Jared here."
  1217. «Egg_Discord» *is trying to remain calm and not flip out like before*
  1218. «HTBK» *They wave you goodbye, and return to their work. Back in the car, before you've even started, you can hear the siren call of the coffee beans.*
  1219. «Writefag4» "If you make some progress you'll be allowed to sit next to him again."
  1220. «Egg_Discord» Alright. Take it away, Write.
  1221. «Writefag4» "Right. Jared. I've been living with with Egg here for a few months. Do you remember me?"
  1222. «Mr.Jared» What do i need to do?
  1223. «Mr.Jared» you...................... are write....... i think
  1224. «Globebutt» I start up the car before ripping one of the bags open.
  1225. «Writefag4» "Correct."
  1226. «Globebutt» Well. Not RIPPING it. I open it in a civilized manner.
  1227. «Writefag4» "Now do you remember anything about a party last evening."
  1228. «Mr.Jared» p-p-p-p-p-p------party..............
  1229. «Mr.Jared» hookers
  1230. «Mr.Jared» gah
  1231. «HTBK» *The smell hits you right in the face, and it's just the greatest thing you've felt in years. Every part of you that can enjoy anything just wants to stuff your mouth in it and scarf it all up.*
  1232. «Mr.Jared» *grabs head in pain*
  1233. «HTBK» *Roll fort, if you try to resist...*
  1234. «Writefag4» "Easy now. Now some of us experinced some changes. My hair used to be brown."
  1235. «Mr.Jared» It was blone for a while...
  1236. «Mr.Jared» i remember...
  1237. «Globebutt» I just want to eat 'em like sunflower seeds! C'mon, Globe, self restraint...
  1238. «Globebutt» 5.
  1239. «Mr.Jared» ...
  1240. «Writefag4» "And Globe, you remember him. He didn't have things growing out of his back.
  1241. «Writefag4» "Infact Egg here is the only one that remained unscathed."
  1242. «Egg_Discord» *I maintain composure for the time being, with no change in facial expressions*
  1243. «Mr.Jared» Globe... he has a tail
  1244. «Mr.Jared» and egg
  1245. «Mr.Jared» ...
  1246. «HTBK» *Fort...3. Without really knowing what you're doing, you stuff your face into the bag and gobble it up like pack oats. Roll for PON!*
  1247. «Mr.Jared» *i must do this...*
  1248. «Writefag4» "Right. Now following that train of logic. What happened to you?"
  1249. «Globebutt» That's 1d10?
  1250. «HTBK» (Never mind, it seems you've already done it.)
  1251. «Mr.Jared» Egg, is NOT MY MASTER!
  1253. «Globebutt» Wait. Wait.
  1254. «Mr.Jared» YES HE IS, NO HE IS NOT!
  1255. «Mr.Jared» STOP IT MAKE IT STOP!
  1256. «Globebutt» I only typed 1d10 once, I thi... no. Wait. The 1 was for the produce.
  1257. «Writefag4» "Woah. Woah. Calm down."
  1258. «Egg_Discord» *It takes all the restraint in the world to remain emotionless for now*
  1259. «HTBK» *Strawberry, master will never love you. Jared, you can't give in.*
  1261. «HTBK» (Oh, duly noted. It is, in fact, 1d10.)
  1262. «Globebutt» 4.
  1263. «Writefag4» I hug. Jared. "Come on man."
  1264. «Writefag4» "You're doing it. Just slow down a second."
  1265. «Mr.Jared» I NEED YOU EGG
  1266. «HTBK» *Ah, there we go. Just as you expected, the coffee beans have just been promoted to alpha and omega of snack foods.*
  1267. «Writefag4» "Easy Jared. Come on now."
  1268. «Mr.Jared» *stops shaking*
  1269. «Egg_Discord» *starts slightly shaking, but not enough for it to be noticeable*
  1270. «Mr.Jared» i am a pony
  1271. «Writefag4» "And..."
  1272. «Mr.Jared» i was a person
  1273. «Globebutt» (Err, so. Now what?)
  1274. «Mr.Jared» but now im a pony
  1275. «Mr.Jared» you are write
  1276. «Writefag4» "Right. Eggs worried that its going to happen to all of us. You had us worried there."
  1277. «HTBK» *Globe, after the first few bites, you become aware of how...unusually difficult it is becoming to hold the sack of beans.*
  1278. «Mr.Jared» and you are egg
  1279. «Egg_Discord» That is right, Jared.
  1280. «Globebutt» (Oh, dees ees bad.)
  1281. «Mr.Jared» egg
  1282. «Writefag4» "We're your friends. Not your master."
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