Today

It's not.

we semi-seriously talked about marriage somewhere down the line
she talked about losing her virginity to me. thats a huge decision
those both have to count pretty big
oops forgot the point in the first one
she said she'd always pictured marrying a christian. but maybe not anymore

When was all of this, though?

both were still floating around just over a week ago

See, that's strange

also

did you initiate most of these points, or did she?

those were both totally her doing
I didnt even bring them up

See, that's really incongruous...

and its the fact that she says shes literally ONLY JUST realised she has feelings for this other guy
its like she sees that
and she panics
it makes her think about us
and how the distance sucks
so shes scared. thinks its too hard. shes scared because of these feelings, she thinks its just going to get harder
plausible?
oh yeah and another pretty important bit
she said the otherguy revelation happened just before the conference
and it was the reality of the conference and that, and me not being there when I was going to be because it changed to december
and thats what made her think of it all
so shes starting to look at things differently. and this is her first serious relationship so she doesnt know how to handle it
i mean. this could all just be made up crap in my head to justify my ridiculousness
but the way it all happened
would suggest all the above

See, the fact that she was bringing up all those things that recently definitely throws some of my other ideas out the window
But I'm not sure she'd "panic", as you put it
She doesn't seem the type, or is she...?

I think she may be
shes a very organised person
she sees stuff going wrong
and she wants to sort it out
she wants everything to be tidy
as it were

but is she the type to make snap decisions?

...no
in fact she's very indecisive

You have to consider that

hmm
but then that works both ways
because it means that shes still thinking about the decision shes made about us
so you see
there are all these questions
do you see now why I want "closure"?

I saw it before
but I repeat: It sounds like you've basically made up your mind, and you're just looking for agreement from other people

I'm not. I mean its just the way I'm working it, I am just trying to justify it. because thats probably what I want. what I need is for you to knock me back to reality if it sounds completely worthless

But you said earlier that it isn't black and white.

so i'm explaining it all to you in the hope that youre seeing what im seeing. and you see that there is a shred of hope that would make it worth doing
what isnt black and white?

This situation
What you're doing is you're expecting someone else to help make the choice, so that if it fails you'll feel better that at least you didn't make a crazy move without consulting someone first

yes
exactly
I mean I know you'll always say dont do it (go see her). that is always the sensible answer. I guess what I'm trying to achieve is for you to be able to say "It was stupid, but I can see why he did it". If you arent able to say that, then I'll definetely reconsider

But this isn't the type of choice you can depend on someone else for, really

okay well I guess my only question I can ask you is, does it still sound as dumb as when I first said it. or can you see why I want to now? because as you said, I'm in a very irrational state. I do need advising. I know you cant give me the defining answer. I just want to know if I'm being 100% crazy, or if there's method behind the madness

The madness came before the method.

wat

You're using logic to try to justify the crazy idea. That's not saying that the logic makes no sense -- but it sounds like you made it up after the idea had already struck.

it's not like that. I've been talking with my housemate about it for hours. I explained everything to her which means I've already been through it all. she was the one that brought up the idea. I may have mentioned it in passing but I was over it. she rekindled the idea. she agrees that it doesnt all seem to add up

I think that the reaction to your idea will change with each person you tell it to
You always have to take personality into account when accepting advice from anyone
an optimist will always give different advice from a realist, and so on

you would appear to be a realist

Don't judge too quickly
I'm trying, but the hopeless romantic in me is also yelling inside my head.

what does she say?

She says go. But it's the same voice that's telling you to go, and there's no logic in that voice -- mostly years of watching romance movies and wanting to jump in front of a bus. (d)

well then im back to: its better to regret what you did do than regret something you could have done but didnt

I'm sure there's an equally convincing that would justify the opposite. But really, haven't you made the choice already?
Here's what it comes down to: You can go, and I will support your decision even if there's no real logic behind it. But I will not say that it was founded logic, because it's not