Hey F's,

My name is Mordecai, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are skipping, immortal Yetis who spend every second of their day doing what Benson tells them to do. You are everything boring in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten the highest score in Broken Bones? I mean, I guess it's fun setting up chairs and not destroying the park, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than turning into Susan clones.

Don't be a unicorn. Just punch me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I lip-synched in a band, and I mastered Death Kwon Do. What games do you play, other than "getting appreciation plaques"? I also got my high school diploma, and have a short raccoon for a friend (He just lost in rock/paper/scissors; S was SO cash). You are all F's who should disintegrate in a time vortex. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my pal Rigby