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PrincessApplejack

Thread 104: Stories 1-15

Oct 10th, 2016
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  1. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  2.  
  3. OOCO
  4. >Spike
  5. ‘Chrysalis’
  6.  
  7. ‘Ughhhhhhh….’
  8.  
  9. >Chrysalis? You awake?
  10.  
  11. ‘Somebody get the license plate of that bus? I need to sue….’
  12.  
  13. >Relax. Here drink this.
  14.  
  15. Brining a bock made of rock to her lips he tilted it back and she gulped down the water thirstily.
  16.  
  17. ‘Ugh. Where did you get that?’
  18.  
  19. >There’s a small underground stream nearby. The bowl….I made.
  20.  
  21. ‘…How?’
  22.  
  23. >Chewed a rock?
  24.  
  25. ‘So I now know what your spit tastes like. Dandy.’
  26.  
  27. >…least it isn’t the flavor of your favorite food…
  28.  
  29. ‘What was that?’
  30.  
  31. >Nothing. Look, are you ok? You good to go? We should still be pretty close to where they left 29 and the banner.
  32.  
  33. The queen rose to her feet shakily and stared over at the whelp with incredulity.
  34.  
  35. ‘Ok? Am I ok? Do I LOOK ok? I’m not WOUNDED but I just stopped a massive cave in caused by your stupid ass! No, I am not ‘good to go’ I am almost completely drained! I can’t use any of my magic right now! Congratulations nimrod you’ve screwed us!’
  36.  
  37. >ME!? You’re the one who summoned a horde down on us!
  38.  
  39. ‘You were being an insufferable prick!’
  40.  
  41. >Like you are most days!?
  42.  
  43. ‘I can back it up!’
  44.  
  45. >I was doing just fine before you intervened, thanks!
  46.  
  47. ‘And I would have been able to stop them without nearly getting us both killed!’
  48.  
  49. >So what, that justifies unnecessarily endangering us!?
  50.  
  51. ‘Says the guy firing explosives in a cave system!’
  52.  
  53. >Typical! You always ignore the things you do wrong and focus on everyone else’s faults as if it somehow excuses you!
  54.  
  55. ‘That’s rich coming from the guy who just runs around like having a gun gives him license to do whatever he wants!’
  56.  
  57. >Oh and you never just haul off and do whatever you want like with the Heart, or strangling AJ over a small mistake, or jumping into Fluttershy’s mind, or making a big huge plot to save everyone YOU deemed important without asking any of US first!
  58.  
  59. ‘Jumping into her mind is what allowed me and your friends to SAVE that mare, the Heart and my plans to save you all were carefully thought out to the best of my knowledge and the plan would have worked fine if pones would’ve just GONE ALONG WITH IT. Also losing one of my hive? NOT A SMALL MISTAKE! Besides all of which I DON’T ANSWER TO YOU. I AM THE QUEEN!
  60.  
  61. >So what!? Any ONE of those would be enough to get a normal pony imprisoned for life IF THEY WERE LUCKY! You ask us to trust you while always plotting something and expect us to take it on faith that your next plan won’t be the one where you finally decide to try and take over again! Being Queen in no way justifies your crappy behavior because guess what? You’re not OUR Queen!
  62.  
  63. ‘Thank goodness! I have enough trigger happy morons believing themselves to be knights-errant running around giving me headaches!
  64.  
  65. >I’m only trying to do what’s best for Equestria! It’s not like I do it for selfish reasons!
  66.  
  67. ‘BULLLLLSHITTT Mr. Tried to manipulate me into helping twilight when I thought she could still be a threat to my hive!’
  68.  
  69. >Only after you tried to manipulate me into giving up state secrets!
  70.  
  71. ‘After you pulled a gun on me out of nowhere! What the hell was that!? Up to that point we had been, well maybe not friends, but on speaking terms! And you were a friend to some of my hive! Even forming that little club! Y’know how many Equestrians were doing anything like that back then!? NOT MANY!
  72.  
  73. >I…that is…GAH! This isn’t getting us anywhere!
  74.  
  75. ‘Oh, I’m sorry do you have somewhere to be? Something more important to do?
  76.  
  77. >Just give me a minute to think ok!?
  78.  
  79. ‘By all means! Go spin those wheels uselessly for a bit while I figure out a REAL plan.
  80.  
  81. Spike growled in response but turned away to think.
  82.  
  83. Several minutes passed in silence while the pair stewed, their mutual ire cooling only slowly.
  84.  
  85. >Ok. I think I have a plan.
  86.  
  87. ‘Oh goody! I’m sure this will go perfectly!’
  88.  
  89. >Ignoring that. Look, I can send a written message out of these caves to Celestia using my fire breath, and she can send back a message or item more or less the same way.
  90.  
  91. ‘So then they can mount a rescue?’
  92.  
  93. >Better. Do you have a charged love harness or one of those teleport tokens lying around?
  94.  
  95. ‘…maybe…’
  96.  
  97. >…Well then ‘maybe’ I can ask them to send us one. Assuming you’re willing to trust me with the location.
  98.  
  99. ‘HAH! NO! How about I write message instead?’
  100.  
  101. >…can you even do that in your current state?
  102.  
  103. ‘…crap.’
  104.  
  105. >Well?
  106.  
  107. ‘Twilight should have a harness in her lab. There should be a token in Shiny’s desk.’
  108.  
  109. >…Seriously? Those are the top secret locations you hesitated to divulge? Areas I can go into at will?
  110.  
  111. ‘Have I mentioned I don’t trust you?’
  112.  
  113. >…this is ridiculous.
  114.  
  115. ‘Look, just write the message so we can get out of here ok?
  116.  
  117. >Alright, alright. The only paper I have on me is my honorable dragon membership card so it has to be small writing. Also, I need to get some kind of a pigment for ink.
  118.  
  119. <HORK-PTOO!>
  120.  
  121. ‘There you go. Fresh green-spit.’
  122.  
  123. >…my claw shall never be clean again.
  124.  
  125. ‘Whatever kid just get to it!
  126.  
  127. Suppressing his disgust the dragon dipped his claw in the still warm goop and quickly scratched out a quick message to their friends asking for help.
  128.  
  129. >Alright. Here we go.
  130.  
  131. He breathed onto the card causing it to disintegrate into ash, a wisp of green magic flying away at high speed.
  132.  
  133. Then strangely, it stopped, flew up to the roof of the cavern, circled around the chamber, then flew back to spike rematerializing in his claws.
  134.  
  135. >Uh oh.
  136.  
  137. ‘Uh oh? What do you mean uh oh?’
  138.  
  139. >The magic…needs an unblocked route to the recipient when I’m sending. Receiving doesn’t but…basically, it couldn’t find a way to Celestia. We’re cut off.
  140.  
  141. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  142.  
  143. >Cadence
  144. "Rarity"
  145. ~~~
  146.  
  147. >...
  148.  
  149. "...Come on."
  150.  
  151. >I uh... no. Nothing, none of it.
  152.  
  153. "Come on!"
  154.  
  155. >I'm sorry!
  156.  
  157. "You don't even remember that!? THAT!? Do you remember anything I've been teaching you!?"
  158.  
  159. >...Basic stuff?
  160.  
  161. "Cadence!"
  162.  
  163. >Well, I hate to say it, but constantly going back and correcting yourself when you found out you were doing it wrong isn't helping!
  164.  
  165. "I'm learning just like you are, I don't know any of this!"
  166.  
  167. >Well, neither do I!
  168.  
  169. "That's okay for me, I was literally set to be nothing but a boutique owner before this, but YOU on the other hoof were all set to be a princess for a while!"
  170.  
  171. >A princess of what?! I didn't know I was going to run a kingdom! Nobody ever told me one was just going to magically appear! I thought I'd be for show, that's it! All I did was beat a necklace! I JUST BEAT A NECKLACE!
  172.  
  173. "..."
  174.  
  175. >..
  176.  
  177. "...I feel like we were a touch underprepared for this lifestyle."
  178.  
  179. >Little bit, yeah.
  180.  
  181. "So-"
  182.  
  183. >So I will either join you in researching right now, or you are going to notice that two of those things are impossible if they're both true.
  184.  
  185. "..."
  186.  
  187. >...
  188.  
  189. "...OH DAMN IT! When did that tax code change!?"
  190.  
  191. >...
  192.  
  193. "Don't give me that, I can't know everything!"
  194.  
  195. >Fair enough, I barely know anything.
  196.  
  197. "...'
  198.  
  199. >...
  200.  
  201. "...We are a sad pair, aren't we?"
  202.  
  203. >Little bit, yeah.
  204.  
  205. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  206.  
  207. OOCO
  208. >AJ
  209. "SA"
  210. ~~~
  211.  
  212. >Alright, let's see who's in here this tiiiIIAHHHHHH!
  213.  
  214. "APPLEJACK! Will you knock!?"
  215.  
  216. >GAHHHHH! MAH EYES!
  217.  
  218. "You're the one who walked in on me using the toilet! That door was locked!"
  219.  
  220. >Ah' thought ya' were just usin' mah bathtub or sink again!
  221.  
  222. "You know, the main function of a bathroom is actually-"
  223.  
  224. >AH' KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR!... GAH! Ain't never gonna be clean again.
  225.  
  226. "You think it's bad seeing it, wait till you smell it."
  227.  
  228. >...
  229.  
  230. "..."
  231.  
  232. >...This is cause Ah'-
  233.  
  234. "Yes."
  235.  
  236. >Fine, Apple Tacos were a bad idea! SUE ME!
  237.  
  238. "I would if it was legal. Instead... hay tacos."
  239.  
  240. >...N-noooo...
  241.  
  242. "Oh yeah."
  243.  
  244. >...Ah'm just gonna burn the room.
  245.  
  246. "You know, I can't say I'd blame you for doing it the moment I left."
  247.  
  248. >Who said anythin' bout waitin'.
  249.  
  250. "..."
  251.  
  252. >...
  253.  
  254. FLICK! CLINK!
  255.  
  256. >Better hurry up.
  257.  
  258. "...well good thing I'm already on the toilet..."
  259.  
  260. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  261.  
  262. >"Sunset"
  263. "QS"
  264. -----
  265.  
  266. >"So, maybe I could dress you up in some cute lingeree and we could have some fun with that, I could be a Mistress and--"
  267.  
  268. "Miss Sunset?"
  269.  
  270. >"Ya-huh?"
  271.  
  272. "I-I... don't mean to be rude, but er... Y-you're not really... er... m-my type?"
  273.  
  274. >"...Is that why you keep avoiding my questions aiming at rutting your brains out?"
  275.  
  276. "A-apart from the fact it's funny? Y-yeah..."
  277.  
  278. >"Huh... So... who IS your type?"
  279.  
  280. "Well... uh... I-I really like... um... smart, dainty, um... not afraid to command, type ponies?"
  281.  
  282. >"Noticing you said 'Ponies' and did not discern a sex."
  283.  
  284. "N-no..."
  285.  
  286. >"...Awwww cute, can't say I didn't see THAT one being a thing. But, like, come on! I'm super smart, and dainty, and come on, I totally rocked you!"
  287.  
  288. "Yeah, you did... but... you know... there are uh, smarter ponies...smarter mares too..."
  289.  
  290. >"Dammit, you have a crush on Twilight? It 's Twi isn't it? Why does she always--"
  291.  
  292. "No... n-not Twilight."
  293.  
  294. >"What? Smart, dainty, isn't me or Twi... commanding..."
  295.  
  296. "..."
  297.  
  298. >"I can't think of anypony off the top of my h--"
  299.  
  300. "..."
  301.  
  302. >"Oh dear sweet Tartarus..."
  303.  
  304. "...um..."
  305.  
  306. >"Her?! B-but... she... WHY??"
  307.  
  308. "Er.... S-she's just... really attractive?"
  309.  
  310. >"But... She'd destroy you!"
  311.  
  312. "...Yeah, maybe..."
  313.  
  314. >"You are so weird. Excuse me while I contemplate life."
  315.  
  316. "S-seeyou later..."
  317.  
  318. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  319.  
  320. Non-Canon
  321. >Pinkie
  322. "Gummy"
  323. ~~~~
  324. >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the regrets creep in! Now for our main guest...Gummy!
  325. Applause.
  326.  
  327. "..."
  328. *blinks*
  329.  
  330. >I've been wondering for a while, but what do you dream of?
  331.  
  332. "That depends on what you mean? If you mean what kind of dreams I have as I sleep each night, it's mostly of you and me together."
  333.  
  334. >Aww.
  335.  
  336. "If you mean dream as to what I aspire, I guess for now I'd like to be at peace with that fact that I am an alligator who has no teeth and wouldn't be able to survive independently without you, but at the same time I appreciate the love and care you give me even though I would be unable to defend you if something were to happen. It's a dilemma of wanting to protect the ones you care about, but lacking the ability to do so, for I am a toothless alligator."
  337.  
  338. >Hey hey, don't worry about it. I can take care of myself.
  339.  
  340. "Then my dream is to have some grounded up meat. I'd really like that."
  341.  
  342. >Hmmm weeeell...I'll talk to Spike. He might be able to hook us up.
  343.  
  344. "Thank you, Pinkie. I could never bring myself to hate you."
  345.  
  346. >That's our show. G'night everypony!
  347. Gummy wakes up.
  348.  
  349. "..."
  350. He blinks and bites on Pinkie's tail.
  351.  
  352. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  353.  
  354. >SA
  355. "Chrysalis"
  356. 'Celestia'
  357. ~~~~
  358.  
  359. >Okay, so, let's all remember the rules here.
  360.  
  361. "No lasers."
  362.  
  363. 'No teleporting.'
  364.  
  365. >No declaring this game is stupid and trying to set fire to the world.
  366.  
  367. "No declaring you hate everything and trying to kill yourself."
  368.  
  369. 'No opening up legal loopholes for why your new move is totally allowed.'
  370.  
  371. >And NO spontaneous musical numbers, okay?
  372.  
  373. "Okay! I've got my helmet and pads on."
  374.  
  375. 'I've replaced everything sharp in the room with pillows.'
  376.  
  377. >And I've got my entire fire department on standby. Ladies... lets do this.
  378.  
  379. "Let's..."
  380.  
  381. 'Play...'
  382.  
  383. >MONOPONY!
  384.  
  385. "And lets get it right-'
  386. ~~~~
  387.  
  388. >...
  389. "..."
  390. '...Saw that coming.'
  391.  
  392. >Is he gonna survive?
  393.  
  394. "Lord I hope so, or 'Celestia kills male maid' is going to look really unsettling."
  395.  
  396. 'Not as unsettling as 'changeling Queen caught with six pairs of panties in her mouth...'
  397.  
  398. >Nor, "Prince Shining Armor wearing seventh pair."
  399.  
  400. "..."
  401.  
  402. '...You guys think we should just read the rule book?'
  403.  
  404. >...Well it's obvious we should do that NOW, yeah!
  405.  
  406. "Really, Chrysalis, if you have an idea like that you really need to assert yourself more!"
  407.  
  408. 'You know, I have been told that on several occasions, I'm just too shy sometimes...'
  409.  
  410. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  411.  
  412. >AJ
  413. "Sunset"
  414. 'Quicksilver'
  415. -14-
  416. ^Ponyvillains^
  417. [Guards]
  418. {Lings}
  419. ~~~~
  420.  
  421. >Aaaaah... ah needed that Lil break. Now! We're bein' close ta Ponyville, everyone. Ah want yall ta be-
  422.  
  423. [OH SWEET CELESTIA, THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!]
  424.  
  425. {Hahahaha! Bet you wish you had chitin now, sucker!}
  426.  
  427. >-attacked by bees apparently.
  428.  
  429. *Beat*
  430.  
  431. >HOLY APPLES, WHY IS THERE A MILLION BEES?! SUNSEEEEEET!
  432.  
  433. *teleport*
  434.  
  435. "I accidentally hit Private Quicksilver with a 'Sweet as Honey' spell, who ran into his friend Steam Gauge when the bees came, who then bumped into Haymaker as he was trying to bat the bees on him, only further enraging them. It's a rather contagious Enchantment meant for food items. And I am AWFULLY sorry that happened."
  436.  
  437. > Seriously?! Why in tarnation would you do something this dangerous near the Ponyville bee farm?!
  438.  
  439. *BZZZZZZ!*
  440.  
  441. 'MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS PAIN!'
  442.  
  443. "The Private has an affinity for crazy mares who are more intelligent than me, according to his own words. I wanted to show him I could be a little crazy too, since i thoughtbhe was cute. I did so by making him smell like honey. Strange that the bees were so agitated. A honest mistake. Could happen to anyone, really!"
  444.  
  445. {Hey. Didn't you tell 14 to go wave around a torch you gave him near the hives?}
  446.  
  447. >Why-
  448.  
  449. "They were playing with fire again. I asked him to kindly put it out. Sadly, he picked the side of the road the bees were on... tragic, really."
  450.  
  451. -Yep. Totally honest mistake, princess.-
  452.  
  453. >...ah feel lah am missing somethin'. Why didn't you help them, dangit?
  454.  
  455. "I have been trying to rally the Changelings to help out, but, alas..."
  456.  
  457. {Betting pools are still open who of them is allergic to bees! Come on, come all, rates are now better than ever! }
  458.  
  459. ^10 bits on that guy with the glasses!^
  460.  
  461. ^Quick, bet on the mare with the Bee-kini^
  462.  
  463. 'YEEEEK!'
  464.  
  465. {This trip is awesome!}
  466.  
  467. "Good news is, ponies are connecting to the Hive again."
  468.  
  469. [THE PAIN! SO MUCH PAIN!]
  470.  
  471. "Bad news is, I am not as good at healing as I am at destructive magic."
  472.  
  473. >Not the time! C'mon, use yer magic or something while ah get some more smoke goin'.
  474.  
  475. "Right behind you, princess!"
  476.  
  477. *sprint*
  478.  
  479. {...shouldn't we tell AJ Prime she did that on purpose?}
  480.  
  481. -Dude, Never cross a mare scorned. Her eyes started glowing like our Queens when she made this happen. Plus, it's nice to be on this side of the equation for once.-
  482.  
  483. 'KILL THEM! KILL THEM WITH FIRE!'
  484.  
  485. "GLADY, PRIVATE!"
  486.  
  487. 'NONONO, WAIT I MEANT-'
  488.  
  489. *Fwoosh!*
  490.  
  491. 'AAAAAAH!'
  492.  
  493. {Point.}
  494.  
  495. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  496.  
  497. >SA
  498. "Cadence"
  499. ~
  500.  
  501. Mentally, he steeled himself. This should be easy, he just needed to think concisely, make sure to stay focused, mentally go over all the scenarios this could go wrong and plan accordingly, and try not to think too hard about the fact he was treating talking to his lawfully wedded wife like he would disarming a bomb.
  502.  
  503. >Honey?
  504.  
  505. "Hmmm? Yes, Shiny?'
  506.  
  507. Here it goes...
  508.  
  509. >You feel like going out tonight?
  510.  
  511. "Sorry, sweetie! I've got my massage and wing preening appointment at seven."
  512.  
  513. Annddd...
  514.  
  515. >Oh, cool... mind if...
  516.  
  517. "..."
  518.  
  519. Cut the red wire.
  520.  
  521. >...Mind if it's just... Eighteen and... me?
  522.  
  523. "..."
  524.  
  525. This was about the time he expected the boom.
  526.  
  527. >...Honey? Uh, if you don't think that's okay, I'll just-
  528.  
  529. "O-of course not! Oh, Shiny, you don't need to ask for something like that!"
  530.  
  531. He tried not to look at her like she grew a third head, but it was getting harder the longer he went on.
  532.  
  533. >Kinda do. Because you know, we want this to be all three-
  534.  
  535. "Oh I know! No need to go on, understand completely. You have fun tonight!"
  536.  
  537. She certainly sounded chipper and flippant about it, he could detect no signs of apprehension or fear or internal disgust...
  538.  
  539. >Are you sure?
  540.  
  541. "If I wasn't, I'd say something, right?"
  542.  
  543. ...And for once, he started to wonder why he had been looking so hard at all. Celestia's words rang in his head, and never before had he known anything as true.
  544.  
  545. He had been wrong.
  546.  
  547. >...You know what? You're right. Sorry for mistrusting you.
  548.  
  549. "Oh, I know it's because you care. Have fun, honey!"
  550.  
  551. >If your appointment ends early, you'll come and join right?
  552.  
  553. "Of course!"
  554.  
  555. >Good! Well... best get ready.
  556.  
  557. "Have fun!"
  558.  
  559. >...I will. Thanks, Cadence.
  560.  
  561. "No need to thank me."
  562.  
  563. So light and carefree, when he brought his lips to hers for a brief kiss he felt as if he had shed a hundred pounds. So light and happy as he wandered off, no longer searching...
  564.  
  565. He never heard her mumble under her breath.
  566.  
  567. "...I'd say something if it bothered me..."
  568.  
  569. It was going to be a good night.
  570.  
  571. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  572.  
  573. OOCO
  574. >AJ
  575. "29"
  576. ~~~
  577.  
  578. >...
  579.  
  580. "Princess of Stryofoam, while I have been known to bring many a mare to tears with my visage, one does not normally begin them as soon as a paper is handed from me to them. Normally, mine beauty brings them to weep at the start?"
  581.  
  582. >...
  583.  
  584. "Hrm, harder, thou cries? For what, does this bring? Did thou understand the shame of waiting so long?... Ah hah! For that is it! Rejoice in pride at your quick wit of thought and understanding, so few have it."
  585.  
  586. >...
  587.  
  588. "...Alright, if you're just going to stand there and cry, I have shit to do. Away!"
  589.  
  590. *SLAM!*
  591.  
  592. >...............................................
  593.  
  594. *HEADDESK*
  595.  
  596. >H-he's onna the smart onnnnnnhunhunhuuuuunnnnnnnnnnssssss! UH BUHHHHHHHHH! W-why did HE HAVE TA' BE ONE OF THE SMART ONES!? AH' HATE THIS SO MUUUUUUUHUHUHUUUUUCH!
  597.  
  598. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  599.  
  600. >42
  601. "Spitfire"
  602. 'Dash'
  603. ~~~~
  604.  
  605. >And this is why I feel that collaboration-
  606.  
  607. "Hate."
  608.  
  609. >-would directly benefit-
  610.  
  611. "Burn."
  612.  
  613. >-our two countries on this vital-
  614.  
  615. "Rage."
  616.  
  617. >-and needed means of security. Rainbow Dash, your thoughts?
  618.  
  619. 'Does she have anything sharp on her?'
  620.  
  621. >I don't see how that pertains to the questioner regarding how both countries maintain paroling of airspace.
  622.  
  623. "Fire."
  624.  
  625. '...You don't?'
  626.  
  627. >I'm afraid not. I'm much more concerned about the regulations for extradition should a member of our government or citizen find themselves fleeing to your lands and the means of pursuit on the matter.
  628.  
  629. 'Really? Because I'm just worried she'll spontaneously gain the ability to shoot lasers from her eyes.'
  630.  
  631. >Do not be silly, no such pegasus has that ability.
  632.  
  633. "Yes."
  634.  
  635. >See? She agrees with me, you're being too harsh on her.
  636.  
  637. '...I'm afraid.'
  638.  
  639. >As am I! But we need to conquer this fear and figure out the means of regulating these airships, and hopefully we need not fear any crashes. Preparation is key!
  640.  
  641. "..."
  642.  
  643. '...She has a knife.'
  644.  
  645. >...Captain Spitfire, would you like some fresh air-
  646.  
  647. CRASH!
  648.  
  649. >...How kind of her to give some to us as well, by... opening up a hole in the roof.
  650.  
  651. '...'
  652.  
  653. >...So, lunch?
  654.  
  655. 'Lunch sounds find, yeah.'
  656.  
  657. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  658.  
  659. OOCO
  660. >AJ
  661. "SA"
  662. ~~~
  663.  
  664. >Hey, Shiny? Gotta question.
  665.  
  666. "And I have a completely reasonable response, for I am an adult."
  667.  
  668. >Hawh, but seriously, Ah' got this here letter from onna mah citizens who are thinkin' about movin' over ta' the Empire.
  669.  
  670. "Is it something about "Fuck you and your crazy town"? If so, you don't need to show me, I take no joy in it."
  671.  
  672. >Surprisingly? No, it's just them askin' if same sex marriage is legal here.
  673.  
  674. "Well I mean obv..."
  675.  
  676. >...Shiny?
  677.  
  678. "...huh... they... they ARE a thousand years behind, aren't they? Would they be... okay with that?"
  679.  
  680. >Ya' never looked?
  681.  
  682. "You know, it honestly never occurred to me."
  683.  
  684. >...Could ya' look now?
  685.  
  686. "I'm afraid to. I still haven't gotten over learning Celestia forgot to sign that into law in Canterlot."
  687.  
  688. >Huh... and when did ya' learn this?
  689.  
  690. "Like, two weeks ago, why?"
  691.  
  692. >.....................................
  693.  
  694. "AJ?"
  695.  
  696. >...n-no...
  697.  
  698. "What?... Oh, shoot, have you been giving out... oh wow, that is going to be a lot of paperwork-"
  699.  
  700. >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  701.  
  702. BOOOOOOM
  703.  
  704. >....
  705.  
  706. "...I-I don't have skin on my face, do I?"
  707.  
  708. >...Sorry...
  709.  
  710. "Apology acceptaaaahhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH
  711.  
  712. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  713.  
  714. >AJ
  715. "Sunset"
  716. 'Guards'
  717. [Lings]
  718. {???}
  719. ~~~~
  720.  
  721. >...It all went so wrong.
  722.  
  723. "Or right, depending on how you look at it."
  724.  
  725. >It... it just went so wrong...
  726.  
  727. "Or right, maybe!"
  728.  
  729. >...so wrong...
  730.  
  731. "Okay, look, I know it isn't really your style, buuuuttt-"
  732.  
  733. 'WOOOOO!'
  734.  
  735. [THIS IS AMAZING!]
  736.  
  737. UNN TISS UN TISSS UN TISSSSS!
  738.  
  739. "I mean, look at all of them having fun! Guards, changelings, ponies, it's a whole thing."
  740.  
  741. >That one just ate some kinda pill.
  742.  
  743. "...Ohhhh, boy. Uh, let's hope Lucky Strikes has done this before-"
  744.  
  745. 'HOLY SHIT I TASTE MY TONGUE!'
  746.  
  747. "Ah. Not so much."
  748.  
  749. >...Ah' hate this noise.
  750.  
  751. "Oh come on, it's a party! You like parties!"
  752.  
  753. >This ain't partyin', this is just noise and twangin'.
  754.  
  755. "As opposed to country music?"
  756.  
  757. >...
  758.  
  759. {NOWORRIESAJIGOTTHISONE-}
  760.  
  761. "GAH!"
  762.  
  763. POW!
  764.  
  765. >...Pinkie.
  766.  
  767. {AJ.}
  768.  
  769. >Nice punch.
  770.  
  771. {I thought so.}
  772.  
  773. >...
  774.  
  775. {Nobody messes with country music.}
  776.  
  777. >Damn straight.
  778.  
  779. BRO-HOOF!
  780.  
  781. "...owww..."
  782.  
  783. {She'll be fine. But you had a party and didn't invite me?}
  784.  
  785. >We didn't invite the DJ neither, she just showed up and started playin' and shootin' colors.
  786.  
  787. {...is... is there another way to do a rave?}
  788.  
  789. >...Ah' hate this noise...
  790.  
  791. ['WOOOOO!']
  792.  
  793. {They don't.}
  794.  
  795. >...It all went so wrong...
  796.  
  797. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  798.  
  799. NC
  800. >Chrysalis
  801. "AJ"
  802. ~~
  803.  
  804. >DAMN IT, I didn't want that either!
  805.  
  806. "...So what did ya' want?"
  807.  
  808. >Us being seen as awesome!
  809.  
  810. "But not scary."
  811.  
  812. >POWERFUL!
  813.  
  814. "But not threatenin'."
  815.  
  816. >SEX MACHINES!
  817.  
  818. "Even though ya' never get laid."
  819.  
  820. >...I was just hoping for more is all...
  821.  
  822. "There there... yer' an idiot."
  823.  
  824. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  825.  
  826. OOCO
  827. >Chrysalis
  828. ‘Spike’
  829.  
  830. The news they were trapped had a profound effect on the Queen. She sat back down where she had been and her wheels began to turn. To turn and turn and turn. Toturnandturnandturnadnturnandturnandnothingnothingnothingnothingdammitnonotlikethistheremustbesomethinggaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
  831.  
  832. All the while her face remained placid, bored even as the many minutes had passed. She had taken little notice of the dragon wandering off to ‘look around’ and did not deign to notice when he returned.
  833.  
  834. ‘Chrysalis’
  835.  
  836. But of course, he had to speak.
  837.  
  838. >What do you want? I’m trying to figure a way out of this.
  839.  
  840. ‘I have a thought on that.’
  841.  
  842. >Oh?
  843.  
  844. ‘There’s a stream running through the far side of the chamber. It’s deep enough and wide enough that I could get in. See where it was coming from, where it was going. There’s an opening below the waterline.’
  845.  
  846. Her eyebrow quirked.
  847.  
  848. >Then why didn’t your message go through it?
  849.  
  850. ‘Not sure, maybe it can’t travel through liquid? I haven’t really experimented with it too much.’
  851.  
  852. >Sigh…of course you haven’t. Do you ever test your abilities to see how they perform in unusual circumstance?
  853.  
  854. ‘…probably not as often as I should’
  855.  
  856. >And you wonder why others are bailing you out all the time.
  857.  
  858. ‘Is this really the time? Look. There is an opening under the water. I widened it enough so that you should be able to fit though. I went through myself a little while ago, it opens into another chamber.’
  859.  
  860. >And you didn’t try to send your message?
  861.  
  862. ‘Of course I did. It flew off but…I’m not sure if it got through or not. It’s a larger area so it’ll take longer to search even if there is no way out. I figured I shouldn’t just sit still waiting y’know? Anyway, it has tunnels leading off of it. They have to go somewhere.’
  863.  
  864. >So?
  865.  
  866. ‘So…this space is pretty limited. If we stay here we’ll starve.’
  867.  
  868. >I’ll starve anyway
  869.  
  870. ‘Not quickly. Look, if we expand our search area we have a better chance of getting out of this and frankly, several of our mutual friends would murder me if I left you behind. Add in to the bargain that any response they send depends on you to be really useful and I need you to come with me.’
  871.  
  872. >You want me to follow…you?
  873.  
  874. ‘Yes.’
  875.  
  876. >Into an underground river?
  877.  
  878. ‘Right.’
  879.  
  880. >To….swim.
  881.  
  882. She spat the world as though it tasted foul.
  883.  
  884. >Below, the surface.
  885.  
  886. ‘That’s about the size of it.’
  887.  
  888. >And why the hell should I believe this isn’t just a trick to get me to drown myself ‘on accident’?
  889.  
  890. She rose to her feet staring the dragon down.
  891.  
  892. >How do I know you aren’t just looking for an easy meal while you wait for rescue? Or some other plot? Plenty of explanations for me to ‘disappear’ down here aren’t there? And all of a sudden a major thorn in your side is gone! Awfully convenient…
  893.  
  894. ‘No, it really isn’t. Hate to break it to you but waterlogged changeling queen is not exactly the top of my culinary aspirations. Black liquorice jell-o is disgusting on an entirely unrelated note. I know you don’t exactly trust me-‘
  895.  
  896. >HAH!
  897.  
  898. ‘But we need to stick together!’
  899.  
  900. >Listen close lizardo, I. Don’t. Swim.
  901.  
  902. ‘This is probably a case where you should make an exception’
  903.  
  904. >NO EXCEPTIONS!
  905.  
  906. ‘I can pull you through if need be! It goes with the current so we won’t be fighting it to get out of here!’
  907.  
  908. >NO!
  909.  
  910. ‘Chryslalis Please!’
  911.  
  912. >Save it! There is no way you can convince me to risk drowning myself!
  913.  
  914. ‘I’M SORRY!’
  915.  
  916. >…What?
  917.  
  918. ‘I said…I’m sorry. About…about the twilight incident. Not fighting back against your manipulation, you had that coming. But I shouldn’t have shot first. That…that was wrong.
  919.  
  920. >…
  921.  
  922. ‘I was just…I was scared for Twilight. She’s pretty much the only one who’s been there for me my entire life, and she was losing herself! I had to do something.’
  923.  
  924. ‘…Look. We’ve both been pretty shitty to each other. But right now we need to work together if we’re going to survive. Will you please just trust me long enough to get out of these caves?’
  925.  
  926. The Queen looked at him, shock giving way to apprehension and a touch of doubt.
  927.  
  928. >…A river huh?
  929. She swallowed her fear.
  930.  
  931. >Show me.
  932.  
  933. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  934.  
  935. NC
  936. OOCO
  937. >Spike
  938. ‘Chrysalis’
  939.  
  940. >Soooo….seems we’ve got some time on our hands…
  941.  
  942. ‘Seems that way.’
  943.  
  944. >I have a question. About changelings.
  945.  
  946. ‘I probably know the answer, but I’m unlikely to tell you.’
  947.  
  948. >Can I ask anyway?
  949.  
  950. ‘Knock yourself out.’
  951.  
  952. >Cool. So-
  953.  
  954. ‘No. I meant ACTUALLY knock yourself out. Like with the butt of one of your peashooters or something,’
  955.  
  956. >I’ll get right on that, I promise. First though, do changelings work on the inverse ninja theorem?
  957.  
  958. ‘…the what?’
  959.  
  960. >Inverse ninja theorem. Basically a single ninja is an unstoppable force of death and destruction untouchable by all but a group of ninjas consists entirely of nearly worthless mooks who can be torn through like fly paper.
  961.  
  962. ‘That’s ridiculous, my guys annihilated your guards!’
  963.  
  964. >Only to be annihilated by 6 civilian mares.
  965.  
  966. ‘They’re the Elements of Harmony!’
  967.  
  968. >Sure…but there’s still only six of them. And look at the evidence, queens set themselves apart, they’re super powerful. 2, 18, 42, 56, 77, 29, all just more or less regular changeling until they started to differentiate themselves and distance from the hive and then BOOM. Useful.
  969.  
  970. ‘Oh come on! What about the Queenlings? Or the Rainbolts?’
  971.  
  972. >They’re still Groups not Individuals.
  973.  
  974. ‘…Potatojack! She still sucks!’
  975.  
  976. >But she far outpaces the ranks an file.
  977.  
  978. ‘J-jugglejack? Forty-One’
  979.  
  980. >Don’t they still live with the hive?
  981.  
  982. ‘B-but then…what you’re saying is…they don’t need me! Or eachother! They’d be better off alone!’
  983.  
  984. >Well, let’s not get crazy now, I was trying to lighten the-
  985.  
  986. ‘MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIHaaHaaHaaHIEEEEEEE!!!!’
  987.  
  988. >-mood….
  989.  
  990. ‘A-blooo!!!’
  991.  
  992. >…there-there? It will be ok?
  993.  
  994. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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