Thread 15: Stories 61-75

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>Spike
"Police Chief"
'Various deputies'
{Various others}
[Rarity via Charity]
~~~~

Spike looks at a billboard while standing outside a door of a warehouse
>Fawntaine Futuristics. The Future is now. Buy a gun today...I can't believe that guy avoided prison.

[He had very good lawyers.]

'Sir? Are you ready?'

~~~~Flashback: the Chief's office~~~~
"Welcome to Detrot, I'm glad you've agreed to help us out."

>I'm happy to help. What did you need?

"Our snitch has come through for us. There's a warehouse where we'll be expecting an illegal antiquity deal to happen. It's our first time using the battle saddles in an operation, so we'd like your expertise on this raid."

>Sure. Just tell me the plan...

~~~~Present~~~~~

>Yeah, I'm ready. Alright, let's do this.
The door gets kicked down and they enter the building

"Detrot P.D. Everyone freeze!"

'...there's no one here.'

"What are in the crates then?"

'It looks like toilet paper.'

'Oooh could we take some?'

'Wait what's that ahead?'

'...I think it's think it's the snitch.'

"...crap...he's dead."

'There's a little sign on him.'

>Snitches get stitches....

[Spike, we should leave.]

{Surprise!}
Spike looks up and sees about 2 dozen goats armed with battle saddles, plus a mysterious figure, spread across the catwalk. They open fire.
*DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA*

>Get down!
Spike ducks slides behind a pillar.

'Uh uh uh uh uh!!!'

'Aagh!'

'Gack!'

'Aw geez, he was going to retire next week.'

Shredded toilet paper fly into the air.

"Find cover and return fire!"
Spike pops out.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Spike gets back as 3 goats fall over the railing. His cover gets peppered with bullets, blowing chunks of concrete.

{Spread out and keep up the pressure!}
*DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA*

>Chief, aim for the lights!

"You heard him! Aim for the lights!"
The ponies aim up and shoot out all the lights. Once it gets dark, the only light that can be seen are the muzzle flashes of the gungoats.

Spike reloads.
>I'm going in!
He shoots a cable at a muzzle flash.

{Baaa!}
Spike reels towards the catwalk and kicks a goat off. He then tackles a goat to his right making it slam into multiple goats and turns to do the same when...

{Yol Toor Shul!}
A large fireball is unleashed. The flames pass Spike harmlessly, but it hits the red barrels behind him. The barrels explode raining fire through the building. The explosion makes the catwalk collapse.

{That's our cue to leave. We're out of here. Let the pigs roast.}

Spike gets up coughing
>Stop! You're not going anywhere!

{Yol Toor Shul!}
Another fireball light up a few deputies, spreading more fire. Another red barrel explodes.

'Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap!'

"Get everyone out!"

>Damn it!
Spike grabs a wounded deputy and pulls him outside.

'Thank you. I might actually make it to retirement.'

>I'm going after the perp.

"Wait we're missing some ponies."

>Agh, okay I'll...I'll go get them.
Spike walks in and after a while comes back out dragging another wounded deputy.

>Alright, I'm going after them now.

"Wait, we're missing Lemon Drop."

'That guy's an asshole. Does he have to be saved?'

"I still need his stuff back. There's not enough in the budget to replace his battle saddle."

'Hey guys. Guess who's got toilet paper? It's all mine, bitches.'

'Fuck you man. You're the one who keeps using them all up. How many times do you need to fucking wipe!?'

The warehouse collapses from the fire.
>...they're gone aren't they?

[Yup...]

>...that fireball...there was a dragon with them.

NON CANON
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>SA
"Celestia"
'Chrysalis'
~~~

>Okay, before we do this, I'm just going to come outright and ask... does anyone actually know how to ski?

"No."

'Nnnnope.'

>And just to double check, this is in fact the biggest ski-slope in the Empire.

"Looks like it."

'Haven't seen bigger.'

>And just to drive the absurdity home, we are in fact doing this ALL TOGETHER, in a singular ski. Not even a PAIR of ski's, we are doing this with ONE ski. All of us.

"Is math really that hard to you?"

'Count to yellow, Shiny, you can do it!'

>Why?

"Well, I think blue is supposed to be two, red is one, and-"

>You know what I mean.

"Oh! Why are we doing this?"

'Mittens.'

>...Mittens.

"Yes. This is in fact a fundraiser. Those ponies down there are all gathered together to watch us do this, and the proceeds from selling the tickets mean we get to give a pair of mittens to every orphan in Equestria. Every. Orphan."

>...All of them?

"Not an orphan left mittenless, I had Applejack double check."

'And a pair for all the ballroom Changelings too, don't forget them.'

"Right, them too."

>...Well, orphans DO deserve mittens...

'That's the spirit!'

>But, wait, shouldn't we be spending that money on food or something for them?

"Oh ho, Shiny Shiny Shiny.... that's tomorrows thing, todays thing is just to prove we'll do it."

>Oh, that makes... wait-

'LAUNCH!'

"WHEEEEEEE~!"

'WHEEEEEEEEEEE~!

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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>29
"Trixie"
~~~~

>Thank you for doing this.

"The GREAT and BENEFICENT Trixie is all too happy to allow your ghostly apparition to participate in her ONE OF A KIND show! Why, how could ANY doubt her benevolence?... After she had confirmed that you had not, in fact, been huffing mushrooms."

>You don't huff mushrooms.

"...THEN TRIXIE'S DEALER IS GOING TO GET A SMACK!"

>Still, it was oddly altruistic of you to do this. Almost... out of character...

"..."

>...

"...AHAHAHAH! Whatever do you mean!? S-surely you do not think the GREAT and KIND Trixie has an ulterior motive!? W-why, that would be absurd! Insulting! She will not stand for it! A DUEL!"

>What?

"THAT IS A CONCESSION YOU CONCEDED NO BACKSIES!"

>You just wanted him to do the floating thing for your act, didn't you?

"...POCKET GLITTER!"

>MY EYES!

"AH HAH! AND NOW TRIXIE SHALL... wait, my show's about to start... hrm."

>OH DEAR CLICKET THE QUICK MY EYES! THE GLITTER IS BURYING INTO MY EEEEEEEYYYYEEEES!

"Could you stay like that for, I don't know, an hour? It should be done in an hour."

>IT'S SO SHARP! AAAAHHHHHHHH!

"That sounded like a yes to Trixie! ONWARD! To the greatest show of all time!"

>AHHHHHH!

"Do you mind? Trixie's mojo is being disturbed."

>AHHHHHHH!

"Rude."
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From the depths of space it came, and in the depths of space it had waited.
Drifting. Slowly.
It was patient. It had the time.
Its previous home destroyed, it had been thrown out into the void in search of another.
And found one, it had.

----------

Flames burst around it as it broke the atmosphere. Burning away the outer layers, and sending debris in all directions around it - quickly vaporising in the heat. Some didn't burn up- leaving a trail of fiery breadcrumbs behind it as it fell.

North it flew - a beautiful blaze in the evening sky, slowly losing altitude.

From the castle balcony, Shining Armour grinned in delight as he watched 2 make a wish on the shooting star, silently reminding himself to tell Twiley about its blue trail, and how low it had been - he knew she might find that interesting.

Skimming the icy ground, it clipped a snow covered peak as it fell, blasting the side off in a shower of rock. Its momentum lost, and heavily cracked, it slammed into a snowdrift at the top of a glacier, before slowly rolling to a stop.

A swirling cyan substance dripped slowly from the cracks in the meteor, pooling around it in the crater, before disappearing into the ice beneath it.
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----------

High above, floating aimlessly, Queen Tardigracia screamed in silence at yet another missed opportunity - cursing the gods for her misfortune.

The stars replied with a simply message.
“Sorry.”

----------
NON CANON
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>32
"Pommel"
'77'

"Aaaand Gryphon!"

On the grounds of the Gun Club training yard, 32's black chitinous body flashes with flame before becoming that of a gryphon tom.

"Diamond Dog!"

The gryphon flashes, changing into a somewhat less than full-sized canine, he looks at Pommel.

>Faster, I need to do these within seconds, understand?

"Oh really? Pegasus, Dragon, Earth Pony, Unicorn, Goat, Pegasus!"

As Pommel shouts the words, 32's body changes again and again, going from a tan pegasus stallion, to an adolescent black-scaled dragon, on and on before finishing on a blue pegasus mare. 77 enters, arching his brow.

'...you know I knew your friendship was rather deep, but this seems a tad ridiculous, don't you think?'

>Brother I assure you what I and dear Pommel have is special. We were just on our way to Las Pegasus to elope!

"Har har, you joker."

>Don't hate me because I'm momentarily beautiful. Brother what brings you here? I take it Princess Twilight has set a spell to copy my grand invitation?

'Several hundred pens writing on several hundred pages, the power of an Alicorn is quite a thing to behold sometimes.'

>Isn't it just? I'm so very excited at the prospect of this, proving our skills, meeting interesting people, knocking their teeth in, buckethead must be all aquiver at the prospect.

'And what exactly are you doing, brother?'

>Preparing myself of course, while not as powerful as some if not most of my compatriots, I fully intend to join the fray when the time comes. What I'm doing here is merely the first step in a fighting style I've been conceptualizing, one wholly unique to our people.

'And it entails quick changing forms?'

>Ah ah ah, you'll see the entirety of it when I'm ready.

32 smirks.

>After all, two very interesting people I intend to fight both have numbers for their names. Now Pommel, enough conversing with prospective foes, hit me with some real challenges!

"Oh it's on! Llama, Camel, Alpaca, Ibex!"

77 rolls his eyes, but discreetly walks to another edge of the yard and begins practicing with his knife.
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>Twilight
________

Clearing her throat, Twilight lifted a picture to the camera, the look on her face molded with a fond remembrance.

>Look at this photograph… every time I do it makes me laugh….

It was a picture of her and the other elements of harmony taken at a party; Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy… and Pinkie Pie wearing some weird new hat just for the occasion as they laughed.

>How did our eyes get so red… and what the hay is on Pinkie’s head?

There was a flash and suddenly Twilight was mile upon miles away from Canterlot, appearing with a ‘thoom’ in the center of Ponyville. She inhaled, filling her lungs with familiar air as she turned to her library home.

>And this is where I grew up… I think Mayor Mare fixed it up. I never thought I’d ever move on out… the second floor is how Spike snuck out.

With some gentle magic, she opened the front door and stepped inside, not at all surprised to see the interior nearly gleaming, pristine even in her absence.

>Inside is where I studied, too… never had anything better to do. Criminal records says Dash broke in twice… she must have done it half a dozen times.

Wings giving a safe flutter, she strolled over to a random shelf and began reading titles, the contents of each book flooding her mind instantly.

>I wonder if it’s too late… should I come back to recapitulate. Life’s better now than it was back then… I’d be a wreck if it weren’t for my frieeeends, oh, oh, oh… oh God, I….

Underneath her bed was a special book she’d stored away that time caused her to forget. Eyes beginning to glisten, she magicked it from the second floor and tucked it safely under one of her wings

>With every memory of trotting out the front door, I kept a photo album hidden on the second floor…

She reached the front entrance with one more glance over her shoulder, making sure to lock the home she once knew in mind forever.

>It’s hard to say it, t-time to say it… goodbye, goodbye….

The door closed behind her but not without catching the wry smile on her lips.

NON CANON
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>???
“Applejack”
_________

>…
“…”

>Well. This is just embarrassing, isn’t it?

“Hmmm, no. Nope. Naw. Not really sure if this counts as an embarrassin’ moment or a ‘what the fuck’ moment Ah mean… Changelings? Okay. Comic book villains? Sure, why not. A dominatrix clone of Fluttershy prancin’ 'round who nopony seems to want to do anything about? Hey, whatever keeps idiots occupied. But this? Y’all have *got* to be buckin’ kiddin’ me."

>I know what you’re talking about, trust me, I do. I never wanted this to happen. Hell, I never wanted to be seen like this, ever….

“So change back then! Seriously, this is creepin’ me out, an’ this is comin’ from the mare who’s watched those cheesy romance flicks with Luna and the beetle. Yes, you’ve surpassed even those.”

>I… can’t.

“What?”

>I said I can’t. It takes a heavy amount of concentration to maintain my previous form, you know! And I, uh, I kinda slipped up when I was trying to turn all of the milk in the kitchen into mayonnaise. I’d only just gotten out when the cooks arrived…

“…Okay, we’ll get back to y’all messin’ with the milk in a sec’. Whatta ya mean ‘maintain forms’? And why does it give me a headache?”

>Well, obviously chaos has no set gender-

“Nope, y’all can stop now.”

>-so even more obviously, as the harbinger of said chaos, I have no natural gender either-

“Said nope. Quit talkin’.”

>-but I usually choose male because a) from what I’ve seen over the eons, ponies fear a crazy guy, and b) when accidents like this happen? I nearly bust a tit at the stunned reactions. Like yours! You should’ve seen your face, hahaha!

“…So yer’ a full-fledged female now.”

>In this form? I surely am, and all the plumbing works, too.

“TM-fuckin’-I. Anyway, erm… what’s yer’ name? When this thing here happens?”

>Eris!

“…How fittin’.”

With a nod, the female draconequus rubbed her hands together, causing a spark that gave birth to purple flames.

>Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got chaos to spread!

Applejack just watched as Eris zoomed off down the hall, that high-pitched cackle a stark contrast to Discord’s deeper laugh. And then she merely whirled around to head back to her office where she had every intention of popping open that bottle of hard cider hidden underneath her desk.

"Ah blame Celly fer' not lockin' that loon up permanently when she had the chance."

NON CANON
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>12
"Mane-ia"
'???'
~~~~

>Welcome to Stagbucks, can I take your... no...

"INSECTOR! My old fellow brother in VILLAINY! HOW FORTUITOUS!"

>You escaped. How did you escape... is this my fault? Did I drag you out when I escaped?... How did *I* escape, now that I think about it?

"AHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! OOOOHHHH, Buzzkillington, how silly of you to ask! The method was obvious, was it not?"

>No?

"AAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAH! Classic Stinkor."

>Can we stick to ONE name!?

"No... OH! And I need a mocha-latte super double whipped supreme with extra caramel."

>I can see our Queen right over there.

"...CURSES! HE HAS SEEN THROUGH OUR CLEVER PLO- I mean, he saw through it Crissy! Sorry!"

'DAMN!"

"...Can I get one of those little bear claws?"

>If you'll leave me right this moment, it's on the house.

"AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! VICTOREEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

>I hate my life.

"AHAAHAHHAHA"
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>Chrysalis
"77"
~~~~

>Stabjack! Just who I wanted to see.

"Is... is that what you're going to call me now? I don't like that name."

>Cutjack?

"I don't like that either."

>Slitjack?

"I... are we just going through variations on cutting things?"

>Well, you have a knife.

"I'm not all about the knife. I have other hobbies. I play croquet on the weekends, actually. It's a lot more fun than it looks."

>Croquetjack sounds silly.

"What's wrong with 77? That's what my name is."

>Blaaaaaand. Besides, it messes up the little thing I've got going on with Jerkjack.

"I still don't know why you named him that, he doesn't even have the Applejack moniker. It doesn't make any sense."

>You don't make any sense!

"...What?"

>Ugh, whatever, it doesn't matter. Just came down here to make sure you aren't going to collapse from love-loss.

"Your concern is most appreciated, my Queen. But my current beau is giving me my fill, so please distribute my portion to the less fortunate."

>Fine...

"..."

>....Lumberjack!

"Okay, that's clever for the cutting analogy, but lumber refers to wood."

>Damn! Gonna have to brainstorm with Shiny on this one.

"You do that."
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~~~~~~

It was cold out.

Far. Far too cold out.

But he had to look.

He had to know.

Getting up this high on the mountain was an issue, seeing as no settlement had existed this high up and this far out for... ever. There were still traces of what had been here once, what looked to have been decades if not centuries ago. Broken bits of wood. Remains of homes, roads... lives. But they were gone now, mostly. Hidden beneath the deep snow.

But that was what they had had hoped for. This is exactly what they wanted to see. This meant that they were on track. So the climbed. And climbed. And climbed.

And there it was. Broken bits along the ice that could not have been caused from external means. They were old, near imperceptible from being frozen and re-frozen, but they were there. He couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief.

She was dead.

She would have starved.

Been crushed.

Frozen.

There was no way to dig deep enough to know, no way to see into the heart of the mountain to confirm it, of course. But at least he could sleep a bit easier tonight.

So, Shining Armor turned around, and he left. "Momsie" had lived up to the hype, it seemed.

Such a shame, then... that he went down the front of the mountain.

If he had gone down the other side, he might have seen the cracks.
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>Chrysalis
"AJ56"
__________

Steam.

It rose in wispy strands from the coffee mug before Chrysalis as she stared out at the gleaming sun. The day had started out well enough for her, she figured: woke up between Shining and Cadance, which inadvertently caused her to receive a bleary-minded kiss from both ponies due to them thinking she was the other. The mayhem that followed almost made her smile. After that, with coffee in hoof, she watched from the shadows as Two made for her first day of school.

There wasn’t an ounce of love there to be felt at the sight but she still smiled. Knowledge was a pivotal part of any marchmalley princess's arsenal….

Then after that, she retired back to Shining’s room to wait out the rest of the coffee in her system. Or so she thought. Senses prickled and her nose twitched.

>Well. That’s no good….

The mug of coffee jumped to her lips, and as it did, her horn gave off a bright emerald hue of magic. A medley of names and numbers flashed before her eyes, like a slot machine of sorts, until finally slowing and stopping on one in particular: AJ56.

>There we are. Come to your Queen, won’t you?

The command given, her horn lost its glow and she took to sipping in silence, trying to pinpoint just how far off this disturbance was. It certainly didn’t seem close, possibly a few days away and stagnant, but the will of it was strong. And not in the least bit benign.

>To help, or stand by. To help… or stand by.

“Stand by what, not-moms?”

She glanced up to see 56 strolling in, looking somewhat confused as he glanced about the empty room, like he wasn’t quite sure how he wound up there.

>Is something wrong, dear?

“Hm? O-oh, no… no, not really, I just-”

>Don’t know what made you come here?

It was almost cute, the way he nodded as he approached Chrysalis only to stop at the sight of her coffee mug. His pupils turned to pinpricks, shifting from that to her beguiling face.

“I….”

>Hm. There’s a surprising amount of fear rolling off you, 56. Why is that?

“…”

>Why’re you shivering? Come here.

56 nearly tripped in his haste to follow the order and he winced when she wrapped a foreleg around him, pulling him into her despite the fact that he’d dug in his hooves.

>Be calm, little one. No matter what happens, I have already made a promise not to kill you, but protect, so you can be rest assured of your safety around me.

Far from making him feel better, 56 choked on absolutely nothing in her clutch.

>But to sate your confusion, I called you. I wanted to ask a question.

“Y-yes, not-mom?”

She released him and he nearly fell, limbs wobbling. When he managed to remain standing, she smiled. He returned it weakly.

>In a very short time, something once bound is going to be unleashed and when that happens, I’m going to call you, just as I’ve done today. It’s imperative that you come the moment I do, understand?

“I… what’s gettin’ unleashed? You mean like a dog?”

A lifting hoof found its way under 56’s chin and her gaze struck him still.

>I asked if you understand me.

If this had been another situation, Chrysalis would have found the seldom seen spark of defiance that lit up his eyes endearing.

“N-no, I don’t! What’s coming? And what promise to protect me? Don’t you protect all of us as our not-mom?”

>I keep the others alive, certainly, but my complete and utter protection? That’s reserved specifically for Two and yourself.

56 understood that as well as he would have an algebraic expression. He simply stared up at her, head tilted.

“Why just us…?”

>Because favors were owed at the time, dear….

It took 56 a few seconds to grasp that. But when he did, he lifted a single hoof and gently pawed at one of her forelegs in a beckoning way.

“Wuh… y-you mean a f-favor from our real-”

>I’m your Queen, 56. And that’s all you need to know right now. You will come when I call, yes?

“…okay, not-mom.”

Disappointment rolled with each word and his gaze hit the ground. Were she not currently on a coffee high, Chrysalis knew her other mentality would have been moved by that display. She, however, felt nothing. But that didn’t stop her from nuzzling her nose against his chin. When he blinked up at her, she smiled.

>Good boy. Run along now, okay? I think Luna’s trying to sneak some cake from the kitchen, you may want to stop her.

56’s childlike mind was nothing short of a blessing in times like these and she watched as all prior worry or concern melted from his face, replaced by an ear-to-ear smile as he whirled around and tore from the room.

“Not to worry, I’ll get her, not-mom!”

>I’m sure you will, dear!

When he was gone, Chrysalis settled down on her legs and closed her eyes. In that soothing darkness she caught snippets of cracks… of a coming storm… of a great anger.

>Hmhmhm… Discord should be pleased with all this impending chaos on its way.

NON CANON
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>Applejack
"???"
'Guard'
~~~~

>...What in the...

"Traaaaaaaeee..."

>What the hell is this?

'It was wandering towards the castle, your highness. Freaked everyone right the hell out.'

>Why'd ya' bring it here?

"Princeeeessshhhh."

'Because that. Was insistent.'

"Traaaaaeeee...."

>What's it saying?

"No idea."

"Traaaaaeeee...*hiss*"

>What is that suit made of?

'No idea on that one either. It looks like some kind of skin from... something, but I can't tell what. Likewise his mask isn't glass, it's just some kind of clear stone or gem. Very rudimentary, very archaic.'

>Why don't ya' take it off?

"DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE"

>...

'...Because that.'

>...what's he holding?

"Traaaaaaaaaeeeeeeee!"

Frantically, the covered creature began pointing at a bag on her table.

>...Ya' want mah' lunch?

With a CLUNK, a heavy chunk of... something was dropped onto her desk, and the creature resumed pointing.

'Is that...'

>A chunk o' ore?

"Traaaaaaeeee."

Slowly, very slowly, the gears in her head began to turn.

>Ya' want ta' trade?

Something besides a blank stare would have probably been helpful, but it was not very forthcoming. Instead, it just waited.

Slowly, she switched the bag with the ore.

The moment it was in place, the creature snapped it up, and held the bag full of food to it's chest.

"Thaaaeeee... *Hiss* Yoooouuu."

With all the courtesy of a rabid bull, it turned around, and walked off.

>...Huh.

'Permission to feel the icy grip of terror upon my heart, Majesty?'

>Granted. What the fuck was that thing?

'No way of knowing, your highness. No way of knowing.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>"AJ"
"Spike"
'???'

---

The day was bright and the sky was even brighter. Ponies from around Ponyville went about their business most pleased. There was no rain scheduled so the day was looking to stay sunny.

AppleJack had been in Ponyville to visit family, successfully avoiding the numerous crowds that gathered to see her as she drew up to her farm. Spike accompanied her as a friend, lover, or bodyguard. She didn't mind which.

She was almost at the old residence before the sky started to grow dark all of a sudden. She heard cries of shock all the way from Ponyville from where she stood on the hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres.

Something was falling. Something big. It looked like a shooting star really, but it was daytime, and you usually only saw stars at night. Maybe a meteor? If so then it was bad news. AppleJack was an Alicorn now, but she didn't believe she could wrestle a meteor out of the sky. Plus, just staring at the giant object made her head hurt.

"What the... what is that AJ?"

>"Ah don' rightly know, loverboy."

"Look where its falling!"

>"It does seem t' be fallin' into th' Everfree don't it?"

"Crap."

>"Darn tootin'."

"We're going after it aren't we?"

The sky got gradually brighter as the meteor flew out the sun's glare. Seconds later, what felt like forever simply watching it fall, it disappeared below the treeline.

An audible crash was sounded, and the land shook with the almighty tremor from the meteor touching down.

>"...Yeah. We are."

"...Wonderful."

They immediately took off in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Much to Spikes reluctance. He'd been in here way too many times and it was becoming beyond boring. Send someone else in for once!

But alas, he wouldn't let AJ go alone. Just in case.

It took only minutes to come across a singed and burning underbrush, pushing aside still smoking branches, the duo pushed through to a clearing made from the impact.

The ground was a trench of mixed earth and grass, in a long, haphazard furrow reaching along almost half a kilometre to where the meteor was now rested. Small fires on patches of grass where the object had skimmed were avoided. Spike trod on them without a care though. The area was decimated, and Applejack hoped it would heal in time.

They hiked over to the rock, stopping short with a confused look on both their faces. Spike raised an eyebrow, looking to AJ, who's face was a visage of confusion, slight fear, anticipation. And rightly so, he thought.

This was not a meteor.

It was a ship of some kind. A... metal ship.

Applejack's chest tightened upon viewing the craft, it was unlike anything she'd ever seen or even read about in books. The vessel was dark black with red splotches of colour messily thrown over it. Most of the metal was blackened or twisted from where it had entered atmosphere.

The ship was covered in sigils, marks, and glyphs she couldn't decipher in the slightest. Simply looking at them made her feel ill however. It was like fear had been burned into the patterns themselves. She anxiously took a step forward, nothing stirred.

The forest around them had gone eerily silent. Spike unholstered Charity just in case as they approached it. It wasn't until the craft gave an involuntary lurch that they drew back.

>"What in th' name o' Celestia... did it move?"

"I don't think it's alive. Whatever 'it' is."

Spike would be right. There was a hiss of pressure as something cracked and air freed itself of the confines of the ship. It was a door. A door was opening on the side of the vessel.

The door itself was shadowed under a collapsed tree the ship had hit, so that had happened. It made things unnecessarily climatic. A groan was heard as the door broke under sheer pressure of the impact and snapped, clattering into the dusty earth and throwing up dirt.

Spike moved in front of AJ protectively, whatever was stepping out of the ship just now was probably more than dangerous. Spike squinted as whatever it was fell over upon taking that step. He cautiously paced forward, pointing Charity expertly.

>"Careful Spike."

She moved behind him, ready to pull him away if need be.

'~Cough~ ~Cough~ Hweeee... what ay ryyde...'

"The hell...?"

Spike would have screamed, and fired Charity, if he hadn't been snatched up so quickly by the figure. Applejack yelled out as the shadow simply laughed, almost manically, jumping out the shadows that hid them with a giggle.

Spike looked like a squashed teddy, his stare was more than bemused as he was staring right at a most scary looking creature.

The girl in question was quite shocking, not that Spike knew it was a 'girl'. Her hair was a purple mess of spikes that reached her shoulders, of which had metal spikes sticking out of them! She was tattooed in strange symbols of varying colours, and wearing something akin to a black crop top with a golden hoop connecting it in the middle. She wore long gloves and long leg socks, black again, with numerous red bands overlapping around both.

Around her waist were even more rags of varying greys and blacks. And on her back was an 8-pointed-star, blood red. She wore the colours of the ship.

She scariest aspect was her smile. All her teeth were sharp, Spike would see, as her crazed look spoke depths to what she might be able to do.

'Hyo ahr soo adooreeble! Imma hug hyo!'

She was indeed hugging him. He was turning blue.

Applejack felt slightly worried looking at her, but... she hadn't killed Spike, nor tried to hurt him. She looked like she could, but she was simply just cuddling him.

>"Spike?"

"I'm... alright."

He barely gasped it between the girls unrelenting hugs.

>"Woah, hold up thar'! Yer gonna choke him t' death!"

The girl looked up instantly, stopping AJ in her tracks. That was creepy.

She dropped Spike after looking down at the dragon, he had indeed been choking a little.

'Hwee are syorry. Hwe liaake to hug.'

>"Ah noticed."

Spike, regaining use of his lungs, backed off back toward AJ, sitting down and catching his breath.

Applejack regarded the strange bipedal creature for a moment.

>"What... are ya?"

The girl seemed confused.

>"Er, who are ya, rather."

'Hwe are Cuulteest.'

The girls speech impediment made her hard to understand.

>"...Cultist?"

'Hyess.'

"No, 'what is she', was a good question."

"Hwe are Kay-Ohss. Are hyo Kay-Ohss?"

>"...Chaos? No, we fight against Chaos."

Her eyes lit up and she took on a demented smile. She rushed forward and grabbed Spike again before he could run.

"Hiiin that cyaasse, hwe cap-tooor hyo in tha name ohf Kay-Ohss!"

She looked so pleased with herself.

"HWE CAP-TOOOORED EET FOHR KAY-OHHSSS!!"

Applejack sighed and left the girl to her dancing. She teleported away and back within seconds bearing the typical deed to a house. This creature wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

And hey; Discord could always use a new friend.

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Flash
*Various bits of Flash*

>Ow....Ow....Ow....Ow

*Bzzzrtcrnkg*

>No...don't lock up on me chainsaw ERROR MODULE FAILURE.... damnit you're meant to be my good walking forehoof, I gotta keep Righty noce and clean for Boomstick....come on.....reset the gear- damnit

*thunk*

>Just why now? I've still got.....ACCESSING... 201 klicks to Waypoint 1 Charlie Ech- that place. Gotta make that distance on you and-

*thrrrrrrrrrrrpft......plonk*

>...Without my flank jutting off like that, why did Twi think that "Butt Compartment" was some kind of fashion statement?

*clckichnkwhick*

>Okay chainsaw....it's just you...me....Boomstick....you as a hoof....me and Boomstick again, and a loooong walk

>Ow...Ow...Ow...Ow...Ow....

...

>Hey, does that sign say- ACTIVATING FULL ZOOM OPTICS.....

*wheeeeeeeer*

>mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmM...M....nope, need to zoom out..

*weet*

>Manehattan? I wonder if they sell spare parts. At least some duct tape

*wrrt wrrrut*

>Aaaand some oil
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