Ponies are weird

>You’ve been noticing weird things lately, things involving a particular pink party pony.
>They started innocently enough, a boop here, an ear scratch there, a fully consensual tummy rubbing when a party came to an abrupt end due to someone messing with the punch.
>Pinkie was feeling down and she needed something to boost her morale, which you happily obliged.
>But now…
>Ponko has turned weird.
>Sometimes she’d just follow you around town and bark at other mares.
>Like a puppy.
>A severely sugar-high puppy who can’t sit still for more than thirty seconds at a time.
>And currently she’s biting your trouser leg trying to lead you somewhere.
>Hopefully this phase will end soon enough.
>At least before she tries marking you as her territory, you got to draw the line somewhere right?

>Now you’re convinced, it has to be some sort of sickness.
>First Pinkie, then the rest of her gang, now even the princess’.
>Sipping on your coffee you stare at what’s currently happening in your backyard.
>Celestia, the diarch of the land, a literal GOD who can move the sun is rolling around on her back like a doggy.
>thereisnotenoughalcohol.exe
>Thankfully you were getting used to the pony shenanigans.
>You were okay with their reversed psychology and getting free shit because you’re a colt but that didn’t mean they could come and do whatever they wanted in your backyard.
>Getting the spray bottle you opened the door and trekked outside.
“Go on get out of here!”
>Letting loose a concentrated spray of room temperature water which nailed her right on the butt-stamp you saw as Celestia scrambled to her hooves before taking off.
>A yipp following as she flew away.
>These damn ponies were going to drive you insane you swear.

>Day no more cereal
>Observation shows that the ponies only act oddly whenever I’m around.
>Yesterdays experiment has yielded favorable results, a disguise somehow does fool them provided the fake mustache doesn’t fall off.
>Pinkie has however shown to be the most affected by whatever this is.
>Earlier today she was chasing her tail, and upon giving her a spoonful of peanut butter she had the most curious reaction.
>Further testing will be needed to prove my hypothesis.
>I’m also out of milk
>and peanut butter.

>After venturing out sans your disguise you did learn a bit more about the malady that ails the ponies.
>Unicorns, Pegasi, and earth ponies were all affected differently by whatever “it” was.
>Alicorns of course were a special case being a combo of the three.
>But it was your interaction with a certain prismatic mare that actually worried you the most.
>You were headed to Applehorses farm to buy some apples and apple related accessories when you ran into her.
>And boy did you not like what you saw.
>No sooner had she spotted you, did she take off and perch on a branch of the closest tree and begin chirping at you.
>Immediately the sound of the flaps of her wings and bird horse noises echoed all around.
>For a second you actually got scared, then you remembered that she was a birdhorse.
>Fuck this place is starting to affect your head.

>It was only after you got to Sweet Apple Acres did you learn how unicorns were affected.
>Right outside of the main house was dear old Applejack and Rarity.
>Arguing.
>Again
>The little voice inside your head tried pleading with you to just turn around and head back home.
>But you never listened to that little fucker anyway.
“Hey girls, so what is it this time? Did Applejack insult your newest dress or something?”
>The moment their eyes locked on you all hell broke loose.
>Applejack started growling and Rara just hissed like a cat.
>At least one thing was the same between earth and here, dogs don’t like cats.
>At all
>The chase began almost immediately.
>Applejack barking and chasing Rarity around, Rarity for all her ladylike grace ducking and weaving between the trees.
>That was until she climbed up tree.
>How the fuck?
>God your brain cells are dying by trying to figure that one out.
>So there they were, Rarity hissing at Apples, Apples barking up the tree at dress horse.
>God you wish they had beer in this world.

>Sitting on your porch at night you sipped on your iced tea(a slice of lemon might have been included).
>The past few days have been a little crazy, but here at night was your little reprieve.
>Ponies hated the dark, by now most were all cozy’d up in their pony beds, dreaming pony things in their pony dreams.
>Smacking your lips you downed another delicious gulp of your tea.
>Hmmm that’s tasty.
>”Oh goodness Angel Bunny please come back, it’s starting to get late. You know how grouchy you get if you don’t get enough sleep.”
>That sounded remarkably like a Yellowus Quietus Shybutterflius.
>And there she is trotting behind an escaping bunny rabbit.
>Angel
>Little buggar was on your shit list.
>Ate all your flowers not even two weeks ago.
“Hey Shy need any help?”
>In an instant Flutters froze, her body as rigid as stone.
>Only after a moment did her head turn to look at you.
>Then like with the other ponies it got weird.
>Honestly you didn’t know what you were expecting to happen when you called out to her.
>Fluttershy quietly fluttered up with this far away look in her eyes and started moving towards you.
>While Rainbows wings were strong and you could hear their strong flaps, Yellows were soft and controlled making almost no noise at all.
>You wondered how this was going to turn out.
>No sooner was Shy a few feet away she turned towards your right and headed straight for the window to your house.
>Your blinds were open and the soft light could be seen through it.
“Shy what are you doing?”
>BONK
>She went head first into the glass.
>BONK!
>I give up, getting up you went back inside.
>BONK!
>Shit! You forgot to turn off the bug zapper.
>BZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!
>Eh she’d be fine.

>Sitting on the park bench you rethought the events of the last few weeks.
>Ponies acting strangely, devolving in their actions to where they were nothing more cute little animals.
>”BARK!”
>Resuming your scratches on a certain candy makers head you went back into your thoughts.
>You were somehow the catalyst in all this, but it wasn’t only you.
>It was allergy season.
>It explained why before they never had their peculiar reaction to you.
>So in time, this whole thing would go away.
>Looking down you pet Lyra who was in your lap curled up like a kitty, and Bon Bon, whose head was perched on your knee was getting scratched by your other hand.
>Rainbow who was perched on the same bench right beside you kept nuzzling your hair in a vain attempt at preening.
>As nice as all this was, it would all come to an end soon enough.
>Shit! you still forgot to get more peanut butter.