Dosix the Drunk

This is the tale of Dosix, the eternal drunk.

Once upon a time there was a wizard who served a great and powerful king. Except, he wasn't really a wizard, as wizards do not exist. Rather, he was just an ordinary fellow with a good grasp of psychology. He served his king, and his king paid him handsomely.

However, the wizard was always kind of a loser. The servants played tricks on him. And though the king did not know it, it would be his unraveling. For the king had searched hard and for many years for an elixir of immortality, as like all kings, he wanted to rule forever. Unlike most kings, he actually found one, but realized it could only be made once every hundred years.

The day that he was to drink this special concoction, the wizard had his usual run of bad luck. One of the servants had stuck a very hot chili pepper into his food. Mouth ablaze, he sought something, anything to quench the flames. He found the king's elixir.

Of course, he was stripped of power and banished. Soon after he found that though he could not die, he could certainly feel pain, especially the sort of mental anguish. He dealt with it the only way he knew- by drinking. And so he became the sorry sod you see today, his face blacked with the filth of the centuries, his robes little more than tattered cloth.

But if you see that sad pile of rags, be sure to buy the poor guy a drink. He's had a hard life, so he needs a hard one. Such is the tale of poor ol' immortal Dosix.