Uri - Self Doubt, for the Order, is he not enough?

After his attempt to try and achieve peace just a day before the Promotion ceremony. Uri was really looking forth to his strength being the leading cause to where he would be going. Hoping that his wisdom, his study on people performing diplomatic acts would be enough to warrant him for the promotion to the ranks of a knight, but... It was not enough.. Even though, he was stronger than some of the knights promoted, equal to his sister and loyal to the crown through his duties as a medic and retainer to Marie... He did not make the list and just like that, his motivation dropped to the floor. He thought of himself as too weak, his inner anger towards himself fueled a different flame, an inferno deep within. He was learning to be a fighter more than he was a Medic and negotiator.

17:09] The Radiant simply sighed, an unfortunate defeat for the young Uhli, considering his connections. Simply.. he didn't chase after the young Rhoynish. There were other pressing matters to attend to.

"Let him go.."

He waved dismissively. "We've other things to tend to." Then sights travelled to Uri.

"We'll be speaking later." A sigh, then he set off.
(August lux Solenne)
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[17:10] Uri Sanctum says, "..."

[17:14] Uri did not look up or down... He was trying to achieve a peace through sacrifice, through his loyalty to the crown... But he knew a punishment was coming for his actions.
(Uri Sanctum)
[17:23] The Queen Mother arrived fashionably late, August, Uhli, and Uri in tow. Standing before the gathered First Light troops with an austere expression upon her countenance.

"I apologize for arriving so late, all. We encountered a duo of Rhoynish near the mines, Radiant Solenne and Uhli both engaged."

Serea mentioned nothing of victory or losses, even if there were both. The Rhoynish would be dealt with later, after all.

"First and foremost, for those unaware, Mora Decleri has been afflicted by a rather strange magical disease. As it stands, she is unfit for leadership and combat, and I have taken over the position of Lightbringer."

"When she is healthy enough to return to duty, she will do as a Radiant Knight."

Mora and Serea had been childhood friends, leading the First Light together. It was sad, but she had faith her friend would pull through despite the debilitating illness.

She had seen the woman fight Barsburg with no fear, surely sickness could be beaten easily.

"We will need to keep tighter security around the city. Frequent patrols to the mines and whatnot, but do not engage other factions unless they are outright hostile to you, with the exception of Ilburg."

"Rhoynish are to be captured on sight, as always."

Her distaste would not diminish so easily.

"Now.. Varus, Lloyd, and Thalis-"

Her gaze shifted to each in turn as she mentioned the names, gesturing them forward.

"Your diligence as cadets has been recognized, you all three are hereby declared knights of the First Light. I will also be looking to promote another Radiant Knight, so you all keep working hard."
(Serea lux Petrakis)
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[17:23] Erehn whispers: There is no luck required for a medic. Only skill.
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[17:28] "I hope all is well. No need to apologize. Lightbringer Petrakis. We awaited your return at attention as it should be."

Moving on to the next topic at hand she congratulated her fellow peers.

"Congratulations Lloyd, Varus and Thalis."

She smiled and clapped for them promptly.

"I do hope Mora.. will be alright. I await her welcomed return. To the field."

Finally the last part caught her ear..

"Radiant... Blazing Radiant... of Osrona.."

She would repeat to herself as she stood in attention and salute awaiting further directions from Lightbringer Serea.
(Faira lei Sanctum)
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[17:28] Hearing that Mora was ill gave him some concerns but the very thought about it was to be asked at another time. For now, he heard about Varus' promotion he smiled, only to nod toward his friend. He felt like he worked hard for it.
(Xyth)
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[17:28] More attacks at the mines? Good Gods he was starting to slack it seemed... With a soft hum held in his throat he'd give a nod of his head at that. It was sad news, surely, to hear of Mora being afflicted of a disease. When'd magi even get sick?.. Good Gods, that poor woman.

There's note, of course, of the rules for their patrols. Illsburg was already on the blacklist for him given past encounters, but... Well, things were made easier when they were actually approved.

… Wait, shit, he was actually getting promoted? Gritting his jaw he'd eye the line at his side with a smile as he stepped forth. The slumdog was stepping out of Sudbury from the looks of things after all!.. Probably not, but one can dream right?

"Thank y' Lightbrin'er Serea. Ain't a moment I'm restin' from 'ere on out."

Giving a salute he'd hold awide grin on his mug.
(Thalis Avitus)
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[17:31] Florale whispers something.
[17:31] Uri would sigh.. Wondering how it was that he had never been promoted yet. There was his sister and now Thalis..Again the late bloomer of the bunch..Prbably because of his diplomatic actions, and his rank as a medic... Did medics get promoted? He always wondered about this..

"Congratulations.." He said with a low tone, clapping his hands, mainly for Thalis as he was concerned for his sister and his wellbeing... There was a lot on his mind, wondering if he should do what his sister and Thalis has done so far... Fight more..

Though, Uri was a thinker more than anything... And he wondered, if he really should be a member of the order, if this was for him... Or if he should've joined the council instead... Not that he couldn't fight, he was on equal grounds with Thalis and his sister Faira but... Was he really needed here? He began to doubt himself.
(Uri Sanctum)
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[17:35] Brodeur Zeppelin whispers something.
[17:35] A moment given to allow their comments, then a hand rose to gesture silence.

"Congratulations, to those deserving." Sights set upon Uri, to think he would've been on that list.

"Now, forward to more pressing matters. The War has been placed on halt, but that does not signify a time of peace. Ilsburg remains at our necks, Theria remains plotting -- I'm quite certain. So.."

Hazel gazes traced the line of Cadets and Knights.

"Do not become complacent. Remember your oaths. Do not step out of line, acting upon your own whims. Do not voice your diplomatic opinions in the name of the Crown. You each know your authorities here in Osrona, as well as the laws -- I would hope, by now."

Then a sigh.

"Perform exceptionally. That said, those promoted, do not take comfort in this. Expectations rise for you bunch and if you don't represent the title as expected -- it will be stripped from you. I already have names in mind, as a matter of fact." And he truly did.

"Represent The Order of The First Light well and you will be fine. For those who haven't been promoted yet.. I expect to see more from you bunch, if you have served your three years already and don't make the next cut.. you'll be demoted to Soldiers. Work harder, we're watching."

With that he fell silent, that was all.
(August lux Solenne)
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[17:39] Feeling some guilt... Uri knew those words were directed towards him... He'd look at the wooden floor trying not to make any eye contact.. He knew his duties and it would seem that he'd be reminded about them... Not publicly humiliated but given that nod through the words of August of what, and what not to do...

He couldn't help it. But, he would give his own nod, verifying that he got the message. Loud and clear...
(Uri Sanctum)
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[17:40] Bernadette Bianchi whispers something.
[17:40] "Given the halting of war, it provides us with time to prepare ourselves. Training will be of the utmost importance. As such-"

Serea's gaze shifts over to Faira, before offering a firm nod. A test, perhaps?

"I'd like you to conduct a training session for those present, miss Sanctum. Those who are willing to do so, that is."

Spars and the like were important for building character, as were adventures. Camaraderie was just as important, when it came to the morale of the military force.

"There are no further announcements, for the time being. I will inform you all should something come up."
(Serea lux Petrakis)
[17:44] She matches Serea's gaze with her own. She would not let Serea down. Not let Osrona down. She would die for the King even if it be a Magibane assassination. He resolve and will would shine through others present. Why? She trained every waking day of her life upon joining the Order. Now it will be shown. Her Light. Her Flame ever rising.

Nodding she would make her way over to the mat and stand beside Lightbringer Serea until told otherwise.

"Understood."
(Faira lei Sanctum)


[17:49] Uri sighed... Stepping back, for he needed some time to think... If being a knight really was his calling... For he was outshined at every corner, despite his best efforts. "I'll sit this one out... Tired after a long day," said the Sanctum... Still having much on his mind about Cruinne… Truly, he needed a break, for the world to give him a sign that things would be okay...

Some sort of sign.
(Uri Sanctum)
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[17:53] Standing before the members of the First Light. Her Friends. Her Family. Her Peers.. people who she has sparred with. Fought with. Laughed with. It was time to give back what they have given to her. She took a deep breathe and spoke in a tone for all within earshot and maybe beyond to hear.

"I Faira La Enfer Sanctum. Your friend.. your comrade. Stand before you to offer that which I've been given. Guidance. This session will now be about improvement within our ranks. Based on my current assessment, Do not worry about your ability to win. It's not about winning amongst ourselves. It's about improving in our weaknesses as comrades."

Pausing to eye all those present. She spoke once more.

"Let's begin, upon each pairing I expect two things. One. Good Sportsmanship when the bout is done. Two. Point out your opponents weakness so they may improve on it. You may not realize it now but that same advice you recieved this day. May saveyourself tommorow."

Eyeing the first two to begin. Her friends.. someone who was promoted with her. Now someone newly appointed the rank of Knight.

"Kabal, Thalis step forward. Both of you will spar and afterwards share with one another weaknesses you saw in your opponent which lead to your victory. Analyze each round and then speak freely. We're comrades first and foremost to not take this as a form of berating one another. That is not the case. I hope I am clear on this matter. Begin please."

She gave a finger to Kabal then Thalis gesturing for them to enter the mat and begin the natural sparring procedure.
(Faira lei Sanctum)
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[17:54] Thalis looks towards where Kabal was... Rest his Rhyonish soul.
(Thalis Avitus)
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[17:54] Faira lei Sanctum says, "Uri."
[17:54] Faira lei Sanctum says, "Take Kabal's place."
[17:55] Uri Sanctum says, "No.."
[17:55] Faira lei Sanctum says, "Nevermind..."
[17:55] Faira lei Sanctum says, "He's back."
[17:56] Uri Sanctum says, "..."
[17:56] Uri Sanctum says, "All I need is a sign Anos..."
[17:56] Uri Sanctum says, "That I'm doing something right."

[18:01] Elizabeth Amor asks, "Will do! But permit me a moment, I have a guest inside I was speaking t- Oh! Uri, is that you?"

[18:03] Was not smiling as he usually did. "Yeah its me... You uhm.. Free?" He spoke with a serious and down, somewhat under the weather tone.

"I've been thinking about giving up on the Order as a Knight...And entering the council as a diplomat... But... Who am I kidding, that probably requires one to be a polished veteran..."
(Uri Sanctum)
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[18:03] Elizabeth Amor says, "Oh.. I erm.."
[18:05] Elizabeth turns around to look at her do, knowing fully well she was in the middle of a business deal with another fellow-guild leader, but.. Friends come first!

It was still obvious given the girls look to Uri that she was trying to balance out everything happening at once, extending a friendly hand at Uri.

"Well, if somethings wrong I always have some time! I was just finishing up some things inside, would you like to go upstairs and talk?"
(Elizabeth Amor)
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[18:07] Uri nods his head. "Anything to get my mind off of the First Light for a while."
(Uri Sanctum)
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[18:07] Elizabeth Amor exclaims, "Alrighty. Soul, I'll see you around then!"
[18:08] Elizabeth Amor whispers: "Could you permit me a moment hun? Do you mind playing in the garden till I finish a quick talk here?"
[18:09] Uri Sanctum whispers: Si.
[18:09] Elizabeth Amor whispers: "Thank you love~"
[18:22] Elizabeth Amor asks, "Phew, that's one stressor off my back! So, my little Uri, what's wrong?"
[18:26] He stared at the garden, though he had no watering can. He did observe what was being planted in this form of soil. "Well, a lot has happened and things just keep happening... Earlier, I ran into a group of Rhoynish bandits... But, they did not attack me, for I, decided to make a bargain."

He would make it simple, "My life, my service and time for the safety of Osrona, to pull back any plans of war... Everything was going smooth too... I was about to head down to Ilburg to heal their people.. Then Serea the old Queen and August came...They saved me but, I did not want to be saved..."

"If that's not enough, I was not selected for a promotion after all I've done... After the strength I've gained, they picked some weaker than my sister and I... Sure, I'm happy for my friend Thalis, but... I'm starting to feel like..."

"Like I'm just a number to the First Light... And I don't know what to do..."
(Uri Sanctum)
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[18:40] Elizabeth nodded her head while Uri spoke, showing signs that her attention was fully invested in the boy. She knew when it came to Uri.. Being apart of the First Order meant a lot- Truly! Being friends with various members of the First Light, and to them the military-group truly meant a lot.

Hearing that Thalis, one of her friends did seem to please the girl, but she understood where Uri was coming from. He was a hard working member! A medic, and a fearsome fighter, so to have that light stolen from him from what could be assumed.. A street rat as Uri may see him? It was hurtful. It would induce feelings of betrayal in anyone.

But Uri was young, and he had a large future ahead of him. Walking towards Uri, Elizabeth seemed to have a soft and sweet face. Every time she blinked her eyes glistened more and more-- Were they watery..?

That's when it hit Uri- Quite literally. Using her hand, the girl bonked the top of Uri's head with some force; Not enough to really break open his noggin but quite enough to let him know she was serious with this bonk.

Elizabeth's expression changed from a smile to a frown, her eyes almost looked like they'd burst in tears. Bringing the boy in, she pushed his head down, dragging it to hug him; But accidentally and mostly comedically stuffing Uri's face in-between her chest.

"You doofus! What do you mean you wanted to make a deal for your life! Do you have any idea how worried sick you'd have me and your grandma-- Lady Elora?! We would've spent all our time stressing and looking for you.. You're definitely lucky that the Queen and Lord August saved you.."

Elizabeth said, softly patting the boys back in her hug.

"You can't go off pulling crazy deals for your life Uri.. You mean a lot to me, and to your friends!.. I know Osrona means the world to you, but you should never exchange your life for it-- That's a fools journey to the grave. There are better ways to stop the war between Osrona and Ilsburg, but you sacrificing your life? That's not one of them." The pink-haired girl spoke with a crack in her voice- Emotions slipping as she stressed for the boy. She kissed the top of Uri's head and gave a deep sigh, her eyes yet to release the waterfall of tears.

"And I know how you must be feeling right now. You're mad that your friends didn't get to become knights-- Or even your sister for that matter but.. There's always a next time Uri. Just because you didn't achieve it the first time around doesn't mean you should give up and drop it all! You should strive to always work hard and try after each and every fall." She spoke with a firm demeanor, squeezing the boy's head tightly. But silence overcame the girl as she looked for what to say.

"If you feel.. As though the Order is using you, then youshould quit it-- Not because of you giving up. But rather because you wish to achieve your dreams in a manner that doesn't have your life at the stake. If you dream about becoming a politician, then strive for it! I could even help, I have a few friends such as Master Robin who could help teach you the ropes there."
(Elizabeth Amor)
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[18:49] BONK! That was the first thing he remembered in the sequence of events before having his face stuffed onto her chest.. He tried to breathe as first, finally getting a grasp of fresh air filled by her usual flowery scent, now listening to every word she had to say... "I'm sorry..." Was all he should say at first before dropping to his knees...

He had so much self doubt, so much anger within that the flame within his spirit was on the border of becoming nothing but pure rage. He needed Elizabeth to remind him of his self worth, that not everything that happens now is definite. "I'm sorry I didn't think about any of you, when I tried to bargain with the rhoynish.." He would squeeze onto her hips or back, whichever came first from where he was.

"I just wanted to achieve peace for my king, my friend Alexander... I have no selfish goals, you know that... It's why I was so willing, to sacrifice myself for the lives of many..." Again he would hug Elizabeth, with only a single tear running down his cheeks. "I shouldn't have made you worry, that's not how I should've repaid you as a friend who's helped me so much...I'm sorry."
(Uri Sanctum)
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