VKs Story to Script Example

The Scene from the original Story
Note how I change much of the male dialogue to female or <tags>. I include more descriptive tags if the action is vague or awkward for the female dialogue to support. It is an arch and somewhat unnatural style, but given the right care and practice it can work very well for what we do here. The 'fictional dream' John Gardner talks about can be preserved.
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I looked over at Ashley as she ate and posed a question.
"So, you want to get your nipple pierced?"
"Yes. Aisha said she'd do it tomorrow, with your permission."
"You have a safety pin holding your skirt closed. Give it to me."
Looking directly at me with a mixture of shock and excitement on her face, she slowly put down her fork and knife and reached under the table to undo the safety pin. Then she handed it to me. It was a decorative pin and very large. "What if I told you to come over here, unbutton your shirt and hold your right breast out so that I could pierce it with this pin?"
She looked at me and I watched her neck as she swallowed. She had grown quite pale. There was a pause as she thought about what the day had taught her so far.
"If that is your wish, master. I am yours to command." She said shakily.
I smiled, and tossed the safety pin on the table in front of her. "No, let's wait for Aisha. She does a much neater job."
"Yes, Master. Thank you." She said.
"Were you very scared when I asked for the pin?"
"Yes, Master." She replied softly.
"Was that all you were feeling?"
"No. I was getting horny too...Master."
"Good."
I took a sip of my wine, and regarded her as she re-attached the pin. Chrissy had been right about Ashley. She was turning into a good little slave girl. Too bad, Chrissy, who had shown such early promise had backslid. But it would be fun to instruct her further. And save my more tender punishments for the slim blonde across the table from me.

"So, how many boys have you fucked?" I asked Ashley as we waited for the elevator.
"Just one. And it was just one time."
"Ahh. I said as the elevator doors opened. "Practically a virgin." I turned to look at her as I pressed the button for the penthouse, as the elevator rose, so did my desire. I took out my keyring and found the right key and stopped the car somewhere on the 80th floor.
I turned to Ashely and put my hands on her shoulders, pulling her to me. I bent to kiss her and she began to suck on my mouth and tongue almost frantically. I ran my hands over her body, tearing open her shirt to feel the warmth of her belly and back. Her nipples were standing straight out from her breasts and I lingered there running my palms over the stiff uprights as I coached her kissing style into something a bit less sloppy. She moaned as I began to pinch her right nipple with my left hand as my right pulled up her skirt. She was slick with wetness and all of a sudden, I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed her up against the side of the car and quickly undid my pants, and entered her sweet young cunt.  She was still very tight. It was like fucking a virgin. Her breathing was becoming shallower and she was pushing her pelvis into me with each stroke. I came in waves, filling her young hole with my hot juices.  As I was pulling up my pants and reaching for the key I heard her make a sound. "Did you come, Slave?"
I asked her.
"N-No, Master." She replied breathily.
"Pleasure yourself, then. I want to watch you come."
Still leaning against the back of the elevator, her shirt open to the waist, her hair a tangle, one stocking laddered, she busily worked two fingers in and out of her pussy with one hand while she rubbed her clit with the other. I moved closer to her and fondled her breasts as she worked.
"What are you thinking about, slave?" I whispered.
"Y-Your cock. Filling me up." she breathed.
"Think about me, taking this nipple and pushing a big needle through it while the whole restaurant watched you struggle and heard you scream. I pinched her nipples hard just as I spoke the last word.
"Aiighhh!" she yelled, as she came. Reinvigorated, I plunged into her again and enjoyed the surprised look on her face as I put two hands on her ass and lifted her up and then ground her against the paneling of the elevator. I felt her arms go around my neck. They stayed there until we got back to the suite.

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THE SCRIPT

A Piercing Elevator Ride
[Mf] [d/s] [bdsm]

"Master, thank you for taking me to dinner in such a nice hotel. Can I ask you a question? <pause> No, it's not about that concierge who was staring at us. I want to get my nipple pierced."
 Yes, I really do. Aisha said she'd do it, with your permission. <pause> W-what?
Give you the big safety pin from my skirt? Yes, sir.
<surprised and fearful> You want to use that on my nipple? It's so big! <gulp as she considers what she has learned today> "If that is your wish, master. I am yours to command."
 Whew! Yes, master, we'll wait for Aisha. <pause> Was I scared? Yes, sir.  There was something else though."No. I was getting horny too...Master."<pause as your Master says he is pleased at your reaction>
Yes, sir. I'm done. We're going upstairs?  Oh, and we'll walk right by her on the way to the elevator. Yes, master. Consider the subject dropped. Oh,sir! <your master pulls you to him and you start kissing> <kissing sounds>  <then he tears your shirt open, buttons flying> Oh sir, Here in the elevator? Someone could see!<pause as he tells you he doesnt care> <moaning because you are a little bit of an exhibitionist> W-what? Tell you what I'm feeling? <He is kissing your neck> Well your mouth is....so good....so...and...what you're doing with your...hands on my breasts.....it feels amazing. <moan as his hand goes up under your skit and strokes your pussy>  Y-yes I am wet for you, sir. All for you! <Gasp as he suddenly pushes you up against the wall and enters you> This is......so hot!  Your cock is....<heavy breathing, more excited moaning> Oh..that...you came! <pause as he pulls out of you and asks if you came>  No, sir. I didn't come yet. May I?  Oh, thank you. I can keep talking about it for you. Um...I'm...using two fingers...of one hand...up in me....and....rubbing...clit...thumb...feeling you play with my nipples...thinking about your cock...pumping in and out of me f-filling me up! <even more excited moaning> thinking about....you....pushing that big needle into...my nipple....as...the whole...restaurant...watched me......scream <Scream as he pinches your nipples hard at the last word> <improvise to orgasm.>