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WindStrike

Invasion, Part 11 - When Fish Fly

Jun 20th, 2020
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  1. <DM> **LAST TIME ON ZURPG - Kokiri Edition**
  2. <DM> *Big ol’ creepy crawly Gohmas made their way into the Deku Tree! With Saria still in deep concentration on her spell, you had to defend her from the big ol’ crawlies! Thankfully, the DM once again forgot about this one little spell that just hard-countered these big guys, outright killing one, and severely hurting the other two. More creepy crawly Skulltulas appeared, only to get one-shotted by the same spell. Brilliant move, DM. Brilliant.
  3. <DM> *Anywho, you stopped the attack, but it turned out Saria's spell to save the forest was lethal to her. With death's door about to greet her (not the physical Death's Door), Darte became tempted by his Twilight Scimitar to save her. However, he was stopped by the most anime moment in the history of ZURPG. With an inspirational speech from Melizea that'd fit straight in a Kingdom Hearts game followed by some epic roll-offs, Darte was convinced to seppuku with a non-evil blade, saving Saria's life.
  4. <DM> *But, all would not go quiet. During this time, something was exploding its way through the main passageway. Just as everyone’s about to leave, the passageway cleared, and it finally revealed itself to be… the loading screen- I mean Metal Gear Fran: Revengeance.
  5. <DM> -=SESSION START=-
  6. <Melizea> "Okay, what's the plan?"
  7. <DM> *The Kokiri are sneaking out through a backside cliff, behind the Deku Tree, when a great explosion lifts the main entrance into the air and pulverizes its remains. There, standing at the entrance to the area is Fran, reborn in chaos and explosions.
  8. <DM> [Fran]: YOU!
  9. * Darte just stares at Fran, blinking vacantly.
  10. <DM> *Fran points at Darte, annnd Mido, actually.
  11. <DM> *Explosions appear above your heads threateningly.
  12. * Darte scratches at his crest. "I feel like I should know them..."
  13. * Sephiroth tries to sidle his way out the back...
  14. * Melizea looks towards Fran, wondering who the hell Fran is.
  15. <DM> *Sephiroth, you sneak your way out the back with the rest of the fleeing Kokiri. Yyyyyep, I knew this was gonna happen.
  16. <DM> [Fran]: Me? ME?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!
  17. <DM> [Fran]: Allow me to REMIND you of the PAIN and TORMENT you caused me!
  18. <DM> *Fran points his finger at you, Darte, and there's an explosion! Roll Power to defend!
  19. * Darte prepares to be toasty.
  20. <DM> $1d50
  21. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 42.
  22. <DM> *42 Successes!
  23. <Darte> $17d10
  24. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 7, 1, 5, 1, 9, 4, 2, 6, 7, 2, 4, 6, 6, 2, 10 and 8. Total: 88. Successes: 11.
  25. <DM> annnd +10 damage on that
  26. * Darte has no magic left to speak of, and verily explodes.
  27. <Melizea> "... I suppose I should attend to the others?"
  28. <DM> *Well Melizea, with Darte exploded, Fran ain't exactly focusing on you.
  29. <DM> [Mido]: Holy guacamole, there's fishguts everywhere!
  30. * Melizea silently sidesteps towards the other Kokiri.
  31. <DM> *Darte, your body turns into a fish filet, guts splattering everywhere.
  32. <DM> [Mido]: So that's what the inside of a Zora looks like... tasty- errr
  33. <DM> *Fran waltzes up to Darte's corpse, or what's left of his corpse, and stares down at it. Flames burn from his eyes, which doesn't seem to actually harm him as Michael Bay plays a chorus of explosions in the background.
  34. <DM> *He then stomps on Darte's fishguts, smearing them into the ground.
  35. <LentFodder> An errant organ squeaks beneath Fran's feet.
  36. <DM> [Fran]: Heh.. hehehehehehh... ahahahahah.... ooooh Mr. Darte, we're going to have so much FUN together!
  37. <DM> (what in the f-)
  38. <DM> (oh it's Darte)
  39. <DM> *Fran pulls out some Magical Bone Dust? Cackling manically, he pours it onto Darte's corpse, reviving the poor fish under Fran's foot.
  40. <DM> [Fran]: I'm going to kill you... over... and over... and over... until you feel my PAIN! Nyeeeeehahahahahahaaaah!
  41. <DM> *Meanwhile, everyone else, Mido included, escapes out the back end. Darte, go to #zurpg2 where you belong, fishscum!
  42. <Darte> 1h1m
  43. <Melizea> 15h, 0m | White Sword and Regeneration Shield Equipped | Wearing Hylian Mask | Force Meter: 25 pts
  44. <DM> *Melizea and Sephiroth, the two of you leave your "friend" behind to get massacred by his old nemesis repeatedly. You escort the Kokiri out the back way, letting Darte be the decoy.
  45. <DM> *Just as planned.
  46. <Melizea> (... are we headed to thoughter's fortress or something?)
  47. <Melizea> "So, how should we approach our task?"
  48. <DM> [Mido]: Ugh, glad that psycho is tormenting the Zora guy. Is it okay to just... leave him behind to that....
  49. <DM> *Mido pauses for a moment.
  50. <DM> [Mido]: Who was that guy again? He looked like a Kokiri, didn't recognize the shrimpcake though.
  51. <Melizea> "Beats me, never seen him until just now."
  52. <DM> [Mido]: Huh, weird.
  53. * Sephiroth shrugs
  54. <DM> [Mido]: Well then, our troops are a little sluggish. We still got some wounded missin' a few twigs.
  55. <DM> *He points to about half a dozen Kokiri each missing a limb or two, getting carried by others. They're alive, and thanks to the healing from the previous session, they're slowly recovering, but it's taking time to restore the limbs.
  56. <Melizea> "I see."
  57. <DM> [Mido]: So, we wanna go along the riverside? I don't know how far out our fishy friends out from Zora's Domain. Could be at the Domain itself, or halfway into the woods. Dunno really.
  58. <Sephiroth> (For clarification, when Saria's healing wave went out for the forest, did it affect the party in any way?)
  59. <DM> (yes, should've full healed and full magic)
  60. <DM> (only reason Darte is at 0 is cause he spammed Restoration Bubbles afterwards)
  61. <Melizea> "Unfortunate as it may be, I don't actually know the area well enough to make a proper assessment."
  62. <Melizea> 15h, 11m | White Sword and Regeneration Shield Equipped | Wearing Hylian Mask | Force Meter: 25 pts
  63. <Sephiroth> 37h, 36m | Nayru's Love: 100h
  64. <DM> [Mido]: Hmm... if we can get across the river, we might be able to get to the Lost Woods and take the portal straight to Goron City.
  65. <DM> [Mido]: But we'll still need to head upriver to reach the crossing point. It's too wide to cross at any other point.
  66. <DM> [Mido]: Other option is to reach out to those Keaton fellas, but I don't recall them being the friendliest of folks...
  67. <Melizea> "Are there perhaps any locations secure enough for refuge and recovery?"
  68. * Sephiroth ponders.
  69. <DM> [Mido]: I think there's a part of the riverside covered by trees. We can break there for a moment. It's not far from here.
  70. <Melizea> "Given our previous situation, I would not doubt there are other areas currently being invaded."
  71. * Sephiroth nods
  72. <DM> [Mido]: Hmm... in that case...
  73. <DM> *He points northeast of here, at a twisty path between some twisty trees.
  74. * Sephiroth looks in the direction of the twitsy path between twisty trees and expects lightning.
  75. <DM> *Lightning strikes in the distance from above.
  76. * Sephiroth ...
  77. <Melizea> "It may also be necessary for us to find others to help build our forces."
  78. <DM> [Mido]: There's a group of Deku Scrubs that live in this area. I'd go, but uhhh... They sorta hate me. And it's my duty to protect the rest of the Kokiri.
  79. <DM> [Mido]: If anyone knows a safe harbor, it's them. Do you think you two could chat with them? Maybe strike a deal. Just don't mention my name.
  80. * Sephiroth saunters off towards the twisty path. ... "I wonder why...."
  81. <Melizea> "Negotiations may be possible."
  82. <DM> [Mido]: We'll keep heading upriver!
  83. <Melizea> "Affirmative."
  84. * Melizea follows Sephiroth.
  85. <DM> *He bids you adieu as they all continue their path.
  86. <Melizea> (... where's upriver again?)
  87. <DM> (Upriver is more north than you're heading. So north-northeast, whereas you're headed directly northeast.)
  88. <Melizea> (makes sense, i guess)
  89.  
  90. -=MEANWHILE=-
  91.  
  92. * Darte recomposes under (and possibly around?) Fran's foot.
  93. <DM> *You return to life, your skin turned a bloody red, and smelling of death incarnate. And crispy fish. Just add some salt and pepper, and it should result in a good ol' fashioned dish.
  94. * Darte gathers his bearings and tests his vocal cords. "... Well, this is deeply uncomfortable. I think I'm remembering, now, though."
  95. <DM> [Fran]: Remembering? Everything you did to me?
  96. <DM> *You hear some growls in the distance.
  97. <DM> [Fran]: Let's start with the first one then, shall we?
  98. * Darte steels himself. "Look, I don't know why we can't let bygones--"
  99. <DM> *Fran steps to the side as a Wolfos bears down on you, drooling over your neck.
  100. * Darte lifts a shaking sword, trying to find some way to wedge it between himself and the beast. "C'mon," he shouts towards Fran. "You've gotta evacuate, too, right? I'm sure we can deal with this later..."
  101. <DM> *Roll Power!
  102. <DM> (lessee, Wolfos shouldn't have particularly high Power stat, so...)
  103. <Darte> $17d10
  104. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 6, 8, 6, 3, 9, 10, 6, 7, 2, 5, 1, 10, 3, 8, 6 and 4. Total: 104. Successes: 15.
  105. <DM> $22d10 Wolfos
  106. <Navi> DM: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 6, 2, 6, 8, 8, 3, 10, 1, 8, 5, 2, 8, 3, 1, 3, 10, 6, 5, 8, 5 and 1. Total: 111. Successes: 15.
  107. <DM> ROLLOFF
  108. * Darte re-rolls the wolfos.
  109. <DM> $22d10
  110. <Navi> DM: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 7, 5, 5, 6, 8, 3, 1, 1, 5, 6, 3, 1, 4, 10, 3, 3, 10, 10, 8, 1 and 7. Total: 112. Successes: 16.
  111. <DM> (pfft)
  112. <DM> whelp, back to the rolloff!
  113. <Darte> (16-15 hits?)
  114. <DM> (well your reroll takes the more desirable outcome, unless you'd like it to be the 16)
  115. <Darte> (I'll take the 16.)
  116. <DM> *The Wolfos clamps down on your sword, pushing it into your neck. However, your armor partially covers your neck, just barely deflecting its teeth from really biting in.
  117. * Darte scrabbles with his feet, trying to push himself out of reach of the beast. "Hrrrlp!" he chokes out, his eyes rolling towards Fran, kicking at the beast.
  118. <Darte> (I suppose I'll call that a formal Kick)
  119. <DM> (Kick is.. Courage?)
  120. <Darte> (Yep, half damage)
  121. <Darte> $47d10
  122. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 47 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 2, 9, 10, 7, 4, 8, 2, 4, 2, 8, 8, 6, 3, 6, 9, 3, 6, 3, 9, 8, 3, 2, 8, 5, 5, 7, 4, 2, 8, 1, 2, 10, 9, 1, 7, 3, 8, 8, 6, 10, 6, 4, 5, 8, 9 and 3. Total: 271. Successes: 33.
  123. <DM> $35d10 Wolfos
  124. <Navi> DM: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 5, 5, 9, 3, 8, 1, 10, 2, 5, 7, 5, 7, 5, 5, 8, 4, 4, 9, 10, 7, 7, 8, 3, 6, 3, 6, 10, 1, 5, 3, 1, 10, 8 and 10. Total: 201. Successes: 29.
  125. <DM> *You manage to just barely kick the Wolfos off of you!
  126. <DM> *Fran watches in amusement, cackling at your desperate attempts to stay alive.
  127. <DM> [Fran]: Yes, YES, marvel in despair! Fight back in desperation, but in the end - you'll be torn and bitten to shreds!
  128. <DM> *He snaps his fingers, and out from another explosion, a second Wolfos appears, flanking you from the backside.
  129. * Kefka grabs popcorn.
  130. <DM> *It's about to strike, when, well... someone else bites at it.
  131. * Kefka offers popcorn to Fran.
  132. * Darte whirls towards the explosion, hand halfway to a blue potion.
  133. <DM> $36d10
  134. <Navi> DM: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 5, 1, 2, 7, 5, 9, 2, 2, 4, 7, 10, 7, 1, 8, 7, 7, 4, 5, 9, 9, 7, 5, 9, 7, 10, 2, 8, 10, 10, 7, 2, 5, 7, 4 and 1. Total: 208. Successes: 28.
  135. <DM> *Wolfos is caught off-guard!
  136. <DM> $25d10 Wolfos
  137. <Navi> DM: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 3, 2, 9, 1, 9, 6, 4, 3, 4, 3, 10, 9, 2, 7, 8, 3, 4, 8 and 3. Total: 123. Successes: 11.
  138. <DM> *You watch as your friendly Pet Baba emerges from the ground, and with a quick snap of its stalk, it bites its chompers into the Wolfos. It rears the Wolfos into the air, and with one more clomp, it wolfs down the Wolfos!
  139. * Darte gives a crispy filet grin towards the Baba, then recalls where he is and grabs for the blue potion again, chugging it down. "What's the matter with you? Do you want me to get killed? There's reinforcements coming to take us out!"
  140. <DM> [Fran]: Wh-h-wha-what?! You....
  141. <DM> [Fran]: You have FRIENDS?!
  142. <DM> [Fran]: No.. no no no no, it CAN'T be. I never had FRIENDS when I was tossed to the wolves. How can you?!
  143. <DM> *Big Boss- err Big Baba uses its big ol' leaves to waltz next to you, reading to chomp down on the next Wolfos ready to strike its master.
  144. <DM> [Fran]: Well then, I guess I'll just have to take out your friend!
  145. * Darte stands a bit straighter, back to... back? with Big Baboss. "Friends? Maybe. Companions, at least. People I helped to carve a path for."
  146. * Darte contemplates using the dread word 'nakama'
  147. <Darte> (IT WAS A MISTAKE TO BINGE THROUGH THE CAPTAIN BUGGY ARC LAST NIGHT, IT'S GONNA INFLUENCE EVERYTHING)
  148. <DM> (AND THUS WE'RE READY FOR FULL ON ANIME DIALOGUE. BRING IT!)
  149. <DM> *Boss Baba nods alongside your anime speech.
  150. * Darte holds his ground, flaring the King's Mantle.
  151. <DM> *It opens its mouth to speak, but all you hear is some hungry chompings.
  152. * Darte nods firmly. "Well-said, uh. Stalk?"
  153. * Darte may have lost it this time.
  154. <Melizea> (should have given it a transformation mask)
  155. <Darte> 15h 5m | +10 Armor
  156. <DM> [Fran]: Save the big speeches, pal, it's time for our actions to speak!
  157. <Darte> (That would have been hilarious)
  158. <DM> *Fran points at Boss Baba, and there's another explosion!
  159. <DM> $1d50
  160. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 4.
  161. <DM> *It... turns into a complete whimper.
  162. <DM> *By explosion, I mean more like a tiny spark next to the Baba's colossal head. It doesn't even flinch.
  163. <DM> [Fran]: That... that's it?
  164. <DM> [Fran]: THAT'S IT?!
  165. * Darte blinks. "If that's your actions, then maybe we can just... talk this out. Or whisper it out."
  166. * Darte waves away Careless Whisper.
  167. <DM> *His eye twitches involuntarily.
  168. <DM> [Fran]: Graaaahhhhh! Other Wolfos, attack- no. No no no no, that's all wrong, the Wolfos was just an example.
  169. * Darte scowls harder. "An example of /what/? What's your game? This is an emergency!"
  170. <DM> [Fran]: My game, you ask?
  171. <DM> [Fran]: Oh, I'll tell you what my game is...
  172. <DM> *He holds out a... DS game? With a rather disturbing Kokiri on the front.
  173. <Darte> (... please tell me it's not)
  174. * Kefka hands Fran a Nintendo DS.
  175. <DM> [Fran]: Fran's Freshly-Pickled Rosy Rupeeland! That's what my game is SUPPOSED to be, but NOOOOO, frigin' TINGLE of all god darned evils in the world got the game!
  176. <DM> [Fran]: TINGLE!
  177. <DM> [Fran]: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!
  178. <DM> [Fran]: They chose the townhouse clown over ME?! What does that even make me then? HUH?!
  179. * Darte feels like he's having a stroke.
  180. <Darte> https://youtu.be/ITxvq_zFxYs?t=40
  181. <Kefka> YouTube: Yee yip - Views: 45,440 - Length: 1:00 - Uploaded: 2019-04-01 - User: Russel - Likes: 1,208 - Dislikes: 18
  182. <DM> [Fran]: So you know what I did?
  183. <DM> [Fran]: Well, I was ABOUT to go after them, but nooooo, Death Mountain was under attack, and I got chosen as a scout instead, for YOU lot!
  184. <DM> [Fran]: It was you... some Subrosian douche named Ramsey, uhh... I don't remember who else was there, but it was there. Then. That was just the beginning of my torment.
  185. <DM> [Fran]: You tossed me into the darkness, then into the jaws of a big ol' Wolfos, and anytime you needed a decoy, a distraction, you USED me!
  186. * Darte begins backing up slowly during the tragic monologue, nudging Baboss to do the same.
  187. <DM> [Fran]: I've died and exploded so many times, I became the laughingstock of all of Hyrule! Even worse than TINGLE! AND HE GOT HIS OWN DARNED GAME!
  188. * Darte begins to sweat a bit. "It-- it was for a good cause! I've had to do the same, y'know? Sometimes it's worth it to open the path onward, if you know someone's coming back for you!"
  189. * Darte suddenly realized he really put his foot in his mouth, this time.
  190. <DM> [Fran]: OH YES. Only if "someone's coming back for you".
  191. <DM> [Fran]: Tell me little fishfriend...
  192. <DM> *He's slowly stepping towards you now, closing the distance you yourself are trying to sneak away from.
  193. <DM> [Fran]: Have you EVER come back for me?
  194. * Darte lowers his blade a bit, face screwed up in thought. "Uhh. There's... we've... uhhh. Well, you see, we had to..."
  195. <DM> [Fran]: Had to WHAT?
  196. <DM> *He tries another explosion against the Boss Baba.
  197. <DM> $1d50
  198. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 42.
  199. <Darte> (oh, that's where the other half went)
  200. <DM> (Indeed!)
  201. <DM> $36d10 Baba
  202. <Navi> DM: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 8, 2, 8, 10, 4, 10, 3, 9, 9, 6, 1, 7, 6, 9, 3, 10, 2, 6, 2, 1, 5, 3, 8, 3, 6, 2, 10, 9, 2, 8, 5, 10, 10, 3 and 9. Total: 216. Successes: 29.
  203. <DM> *Boss Baba takes an explosive recoil! However, thanks to all the Stalchildren and other foes it ate, it's still got a large reserve of Hearts left! It then proceeds to try and bite back at Fran!
  204. <DM> $36d10 Boss Baba
  205. <Navi> DM: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 7, 1, 7, 2, 10, 10, 1, 1, 5, 3, 2, 10, 6, 10, 2, 2, 1, 1, 10, 2, 9, 5, 2, 8, 7, 10, 1, 9, 2, 2 and 9. Total: 166. Successes: 22.
  206. <DM> $1d50
  207. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 38.
  208. <DM> *Fran just stands there, as a protective explosion knocks Boss Baba back for real this time, causing it to collide into the cliff nearby, knocking it out briefly.
  209. <DM> [Fran]: What is it that was so important that you NEVER came back for me?!
  210. * Darte 's grip tightens on his blade as Baboss is blasted aside. "I mean, we thought you'd understand! We were all aimed towards the same goal, weren't we? We'd have done the same, right? The mountain was more important!"
  211. <DM> [Fran]: Ooooh... I get it now...
  212. <DM> [Fran]: I'M LESS IMPORTANT THAN AN INANIMATE MOUNTAIN!
  213. * Darte 's rationalization sounds half-hearted and dubious.
  214. <DM> *He slams the DS game into the ground and flicks it away with an explosion.
  215. <DM> $1d50
  216. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 50 Sides. Result: 10.
  217. <Darte> (Thank goodness, only the intro is corrupted)
  218. <DM> *The explosion hobbles the game into the air, and then it just falls back down on his head, still in-tact.
  219. <DM> [Fran]: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  220. <Darte> "It's... I... That's not how it was, at all!" he growls, leaning forward as if preparing to strike, but holding the blow for now. "You're forgetting everyone who would've been blown away with it, in the worst case!"
  221. <DM> *He's gone deaf to your words at this point.
  222. <DM> [Fran]: CURSE YOU DARTE!
  223. <DM> [Fran]: CURSE YOU TINGLE!
  224. <DM> [Fran]: I'M JUST GOING TO DROWN YOU ALL IN EXPLOSIONS!
  225. <DM> *Fran starts... charging?
  226. * Kefka drops a bomb by Fran's foot.
  227. <DM> *Fran eats the bomb.
  228. <DM> *There's an explosion within Fran, its explosive force shooting outwards into the air. He breathes the smoke back in, slowly...
  229. <Darte> https://youtu.be/_HCS9AJ0rEI?t=8
  230. <Kefka> YouTube: The Mask (1994) - That's a Spicy Meatball Scene (5/5) | Movieclips - Views: 41,601,350 - Length: 55 - Uploaded: 2011-05-27 - User: Movieclips - Likes: 65,632 - Dislikes: 14,008
  231. <DM> *Baboss wakes back up.
  232. * Darte charges his magic clock.
  233. <Darte> *crank, crank, crank*
  234. <Darte> (Sounds like a horrible euphemism)
  235. <DM> -_-
  236. <DM> *There's a ring of explosions around Fran, protecting him. However, they seem to be exploding inwards, one layer at a time, getting closer and closer to his body.
  237. <DM> *Whatever it is he's about to do, it's gonna be big...
  238. * Darte has used both his actions, and continues charging that clock.
  239. <DM> *Alrighty, next round! The explosions are now... exploding within Fran? Though he himself seems to be unharmed from them.
  240. <DM> [Fran]: It's about time for me to unleash my true power...
  241. <DM> *He picks up the DS Game, which is, this time, promptly shattered by the insane explosive force held within him.
  242. <DM> [Fran]: So long, Tingle! Once I'm done cleaning up Darte, I'm coming after you and your Rosy land!
  243. <Darte> (Oh no it's season 1 of Heroes all over again)
  244. <DM> (Just wait till Fran gains the ability to tear open the minds of his victims and learns "how they work, and how they explode")
  245. <DM> (wanna do your action now, or wait for Fran to make his?)
  246. * Darte shakes his head. "You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday."
  247. <DM> [Fran]: No, it's going to get me awards, and my own game! Featuring Fran's Rosy Deathland!
  248. <DM> [Fran]: Hah! How does THAT sound?
  249. <DM> [Fran]: Now let's start with YOU!
  250. <DM> *He points his finger at you, and at once, all the explosions with him just... stop.
  251. * Darte hears Queen playing in the background, for some reason.
  252. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4IouUbIxG4
  253. <Kefka> YouTube: Killer Queen - Views: 3,843,920 - Length: 3:01 - Uploaded: 2018-12-20 - User: Queen - Topic - Likes: 41,579 - Dislikes: 1,638
  254. <DM> [Fran]: BOOM!
  255. <DM> *All at once, a series of explosions go off around you, then converge on you, Darte!
  256. <DM> *Roll Power to defend, unless you've got other plans...
  257. * Darte bites into a Stalheart, grimacing at the taste as the world roars around him.
  258. <Darte> $19d10
  259. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 10, 2, 5, 10, 3, 10, 3, 5, 9, 8, 4, 1, 9, 4, 1, 9, 6 and 10. Total: 115. Successes: 16.
  260. <DM> $3d50
  261. <Navi> DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 50 Sides. Results: 13, 32 and 36. Total: 81.
  262. <DM> *The first explosion bounces off you, but the second and third ones overtake you. You become the explosion, and the world is in sepia...
  263. <DM> *OR SO FRAN THINKS!
  264.  
  265. -=MEANWHILE=-
  266.  
  267. <DM> *Okay, Melizea and Sephiroth, you two head down the twisted path through the twisty trees, as if you're caught in a twisty tie but you can't win the tie.
  268. * Melizea is standing guard while walking, analyzing the area as she moves through.
  269. <DM> *The orange glow of sunlight from above turns to darkness as you find yourselves heading down not just a path, but a cave hole with walls made of twisted tree stalks.
  270. <Melizea> "You suppose that is the place?"
  271. <DM> *Eventually, you make your way into an underground clearing... hang on.
  272. <DM> (kay, that is an oxymoron, hang on)
  273. * Sephiroth checks his torch.
  274. <Melizea> (maptime or no?)
  275. <Melizea> (who am i kidding, you're probably improvising)
  276. <DM> (am I ever not?)
  277. <DM> *Eventually, you make your way into an underground cave. Your torch lights up, illuminating the area, and pointing at... that's the plot finding torch, right?
  278. <Sephiroth> (Yup)
  279. * Melizea would take out her Magic Golden Lamp, but Sephiroth's already got a Plot Finding Torch.
  280. <DM> *There's no doors in this cave. However, your torch points at a spot in the middle of the ground.
  281. <DM> *You notice some slightly out-of-place leaves obscured by the dirt. It's twitching just a bit.
  282. * Melizea wonders if it's one of the Deku Scrubs, still standing guard.
  283. <DM> *Would you like to try poking at it?
  284. * Melizea does not.
  285. <Melizea> "Careful."
  286. * Sephiroth pulls out his Small Tower Shield before poking the ground where the torch pointed to, then hides behind said shield.
  287. <DM> *As you say the word "Careful" out loud, the twitching stops. A second after Mr. Silver Hair runs a poke, the plant emerges from the ground, sprouting into the air momentarily before plopping its twiggy legs into the ground.
  288. * Melizea wonders what it looks like.
  289. <DM> *Before you stands an esteemed Deku Scrub! It's got some flowery leaves sticking out of its head, yellow blips for eyes glowing from its dark head, and a mahogany base for its wide-trunked body.
  290. <DM> *It looks at Melizea, then at the shield, then back to Melizea.
  291. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: W-who goes there?!
  292. <Melizea> "Hello, fellow Deku Scrub."
  293. * Melizea proceeds to bow towards it.
  294. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Fellow Deku Scrub? Are you implying that you yourself are a Deku Scrub?
  295. <DM> *He looks at your... lanky figure, by comparison.
  296. * Melizea slightly chuckles "Not at all, it's just a friendly greeting I occasionally use."
  297. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Hmph. You're not like any Deku Scrub I've ever seen. What is your identification? This isn't just any Deku Hideout. I won't let you in simply on a whim.
  298. * Sephiroth remains hiding behind his shield.
  299. <Melizea> "On the contrary, we're wondering if there are any potential safe spaces."
  300. <Melizea> "The name's Melizea."
  301. * Melizea bows again.
  302. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Safe space? There's plenty of safe spaces. We of the Reeku Clan offer them at competitive rates compared to that of other Scrub Clans. I guarantee you won't find a better deal!
  303. <Melizea> "I don't suppose you allow for them to be used by refugees?"
  304. <DM> *He squints for a moment.
  305. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Refugees? ... what kind of Refugees?
  306. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: If you're trying to scam us into backing an emotional cause, we won't have any of that! I'll have you know some Keatons tried doing the same thing to us not long ago.
  307. <Melizea> "The situation is, our Kokiri comrades have been compromised by dark invading forces."
  308. <Melizea> "Now now, we won't necessarily force you to allow us refuge."
  309. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: ... *snort*
  310. <DM> *You see him... stiffle some laughter.
  311. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Ahem. Uhh. The Kokiri, eh? Comprised by dark. Invading. Forces.
  312. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Ahahah... Mido set this one up, didn't he? That old scruffnut, of course he'd try to dupe us again!
  313. <DM> *compromised
  314. <Melizea> "Actually, it wasn't him. The forest was burning. Stalfos and Aquamenti invading."
  315. <DM> *He pulls out a group of vines from the ground, quickly making a makeshift harp out of it. He then pulls certain vines, causing a quick melody of notes, like a dialing sound.
  316. <DM> *There's a short delay, then you hear the same dial, but in reverse.
  317. <Sephiroth> ({ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsNaR6FRuO0 ])
  318. <Kefka> YouTube: The Sound of dial-up Internet - Views: 11,462,151 - Length: 29 - Uploaded: 2008-11-10 - User: willterminus - Likes: 78,283 - Dislikes: 1,344
  319. <Melizea> "Well, if you insist, we'll leave."
  320. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Heheheh, you guys think you're so smart, trying to dupe us. Sucks to be you, we can verify anything! Be back in a jiffy!
  321. <DM> *Deku Scrub pops into the ground. A few seconds later, he pops back up, eyes wide open.
  322. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Holy scrubnuts you're telling the truth.
  323. <Darte> (Firiann stops in to ogle aforementioned scrubnuts.)
  324. <Melizea> (wh)
  325. * Sephiroth kicks Darte out the window.
  326. * Sephiroth has kicked Darte from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a bio containment chamber where you will be exposed to Phazon! «20,348»)
  327. <Melizea> "If I was lying, we wouldn't be here."
  328. <Melizea> "We may need all the help to rebuild our forces."
  329. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: More like if you were tellin' twice the truth, you wouldn't be here, you'd be on fire, just like that idiot Firiann! Ahahah- err... AHEM.
  330. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: War is usually good for business, but these fellas don't seem keen on makin' deals, know what I mean?
  331. <Melizea> "Hmm..."
  332. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: We can't have them burning and killing all of our business partners. We rely on the Kokiri to hunt for Deku Sticks and the like.
  333. <Melizea> "I see."
  334. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Well then, we offer our services...
  335. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: ... is what we would say, but... *sigh*
  336. <Melizea> "Well, if it is possible for you to offer up any further aid, we may take it."
  337. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Either of you heard of a mad Keaton by the name of Memphis?
  338. <Melizea> "We'll attempt to compensate."
  339. <Melizea> "No, no I have not."
  340. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Well, that mad lady, in "negotiations" with us, stole our Heart.
  341. <DM> *He pauses for a moment.
  342. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Err, the uhhh...
  343. <DM> *He reforms the vines into something else. It looks kinda like spinning tree of sorts.
  344. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: This thing. The thing that lets us Deku Scrubs move when and where we please.
  345. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: She's got some mad machinations she's plannin' on using it on. We tried buying them, but then she just up and exploded one of our lead salesmen!
  346. <Melizea> "Ah, I see. You want us to attempt to negotiate with her? Or perhaps figure out another way to deal with her?"
  347. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Yes! Precisely! We can take you two right to her! Well, somewhat close.
  348. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: In exchange, uhh... What do you desire from us?
  349. <Melizea> "I see. Is there anything else we should know about her? Just in case?"
  350. * Melizea ponders for a moment.
  351. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Well, she just loooooves explosions.
  352. <Darte> (OHHHHHH NOOOOOO)
  353. <Melizea> "Hmm... I see..."
  354. <Melizea> "Well, we'll try to see what we can do. As for the desire... I personally do not know, for I do not frequent the area."
  355. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Very well. So how does a payment of...
  356. <DM> *He seems to flex his stubby fingers, at a rapid-fire speed, as if he's doing calculations on his hand.
  357. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: 500 Rupees? Will that be sufficient for our request?
  358. <DM> *Somewhere in there, you feel like maybe he somehow flipped the conversation around and is now potentially duping you...
  359. <DM> *What's this about "emotional baggage"?
  360. <Melizea> "Hmm... Seems a bit low for labor and what we're attempting to do. Although I suppose I do understand why you'd be charging us for much lower..."
  361. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Low labor? On the contrary, a single Rupee can land over an hour of hard work from a Kokiri. 500 Rupees seems like more than enough compensation!
  362. * Sephiroth comments from behind his shield. ... "So, you're going to give us 500 Rupees to take care of your dilemma and return the item you need? That's definitely very low."
  363. <Melizea> "Yeah, well... We're not entirely sure if what we're about to do will succeed, necessarily."
  364. <DM> *Deku Scrub turns towards the shield.
  365. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: What?! The shield can talk?!
  366. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: An interesting companion you have there, Ms. Melizea.
  367. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: We'll add in an additional 100 Rupees for the shield!
  368. <Melizea> "We don't exactly know what the Keaton is truly capable of, she may not be playing her cards outright in attempt to lower our guard."
  369. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Tell ya what, give us the shield now, and we'll tell you everything she's capable of!
  370. * Sephiroth 's shield is soulbound.
  371. <DM> *Via Spirit Vision, you can't help but notice his soul is flickering, each time he mentions Memphis.
  372. <DM> *He's clearly not telling you something.
  373. <Melizea> "Well, before we go any further, have you tried getting back your precious item?"
  374. <DM> *He scoffs.
  375. <Melizea> "You only ever mentioned it being stolen, but never any attempt to retrieve it."
  376. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: What? And deal with those vermin ourselves? How ungentlemanly! Such a task is reserved only for thugs!
  377. <DM> *He stops and stares blankly at you.
  378. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Err... umm... well...
  379. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Not that I'd ever imply to such potential business partners that you're thugs, by the Goddesses no, ahahahahah!
  380. <Melizea> "Hmm... Given that you're mentioning thugs in the first place... For all we know, you may be attempting to steal something from the Keatons."
  381. <DM> *He regains his composure.
  382. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Ahah, yes! That's exactly what we plan, we're going to steal from them!
  383. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: How bout we up the reward to 1000 Rupees? You can help us steal the Heart back from them!
  384. <Melizea> "Which brings us back to the point of your precious item... Are you sure it was stolen, and you're not trying to conceal it in attempt to get us to aid you in stealing something else?"
  385. * Melizea slightly glances at Sephiroth, as if motioning to him to prepare for... something.
  386. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Hah, you make it sound as if I'm stalling for time- err no, of course not, we're business dealers, not thieves! Heavens above, our reputation would be ruined!
  387. <DM> *Through your Spirit Vision, you can see something emerging from the ground. At the rate it's going, there's going to be about 6 more Deku Scrubs here, ready to surround you in about... a minute.
  388. <Melizea> "Well, we'll be leaving then."
  389. * Melizea starts to head out.
  390. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: Wait! Hold on, wait, we can work this out!
  391. <Melizea> "Not if you're attempting to ambush us."
  392. * Sephiroth starts to back away as well, staying outta sight behind the shield.
  393. <DM> *The Deku Scrub watches in astoundment as the shield just... backs up. On its own.
  394. * Melizea then starts to dash out.
  395. <DM> [Deku Scrub]: No! Come back!
  396. * Sephiroth dashes out after Melizea
  397. <DM> *The shady businessman is unable to stop the two of you as you kindly dash out. The tunnel twists in and seems to try and choke you two out, but you manage to make it out of there before it closes entirely.
  398. <DM> *You emerge back in the forest, noticing an orange glow from the sky overhead. Sunset appears to be approaching.
  399. <Melizea> "I suppose our only other option is to attempt to negotiate with the Keaton."
  400. * Sephiroth nods.
  401. <Melizea> "Shall we head back to the rest of the Kokiri?"
  402. * Sephiroth nods.
  403. * Sephiroth saunters off after the Kokiri.
  404. * Melizea starts heading towards the direction the Kokiri said they'd be headed to.
  405. <DM> *Alrighty, you two head back along the path Mido pointed out.
  406. <DM> *Negotiations may have failed, but you did learn some information off them at least.
  407. <Melizea> (i was tempted to set fire to the place while we were running, but nah)
  408. <DM> (heh)
  409. <DM> *After some walking through the trees, you hear running water break through forest's silence. To your left, you see the edge of a wide river.
  410. <DM> *And looking further upstream, it looks like there's a raft of some kind heading up it.
  411. <Sephiroth> (rafting. ... upstream... ... Is EVERYONE on the raft rowing?)
  412. <Melizea> (i mean, they did say upriver...)
  413. <DM> *Atop the raft is what seems to be an oversized Clawshot attached to a turret. Manning the raft is blue-scaled fella. You're not entirely sure how the raft is moving upriver with no one rowing it.
  414. <DM> *However, courtesies of Spirit Vision to the rescue once more, you can see multiple souls under the raft.
  415. <Melizea> (under or on the raft?)
  416. <DM> (One on top, about 4 under the raft)
  417. <Melizea> (so people are drowning under the raft?)
  418. <Melizea> (... wait a minute...)
  419. <DM> *The guy on the raft turns its head, looking somewhat in your direction. It... looks almost like a Zora, except with a monstrous face and sharp, pointy teeth.
  420. <Melizea> "Should we investigate?"
  421. <DM> *Courtesies of still being in the treeline, it doesn't see you. It turns its head back towards upriver, sharpening the blades of a trident.
  422. <Sephiroth> (The guy on the raft: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY )
  423. <Kefka> YouTube: Eiffel 65 - I'm blue (official Video) - Views: 8,179,033 - Length: 3:37 - Uploaded: 2012-01-03 - User: lola83934 - Likes: 53,221 - Dislikes: 2,869
  424. <Melizea> "Or should we divert to a different direction?"
  425. * Sephiroth hides behind his shield as he continues along the path...
  426. <DM> *You can try to follow the raft upriver along the treeline, or you can try to divert further into the forest to see if you can reunite with the Kokiri.
  427. * Sephiroth diverts into the forres--- err, forest.
  428. * Melizea diverts into the forest, just in case.
  429. <DM> *The silver-haired shield passes by a Forrest Gump before continuing down the path.
  430.  
  431. -=MEANWHILE=-
  432.  
  433. <DM> *Having succumbed to the triple explosion deathstorm, you're still standing, the taste of Stalheart in your mouth, and your scales bloodred and ready to strike!
  434. * Darte sits, blood-red and steaming for the second time in several minutes. He holds his swords across his legs, head bowed silently, though his body is shuddering as if compelled to lurch forward and act.
  435. <DM> *Thanks to the explosions still going off, Fran still thinks you're dead, covered in Michael Bay.
  436. <DM> [Fran]: Ahahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAH!
  437. <DM> [Fran]: Ahh, yes, fffffffeel what it's like to be me! Depraved and forgotten!
  438. <Darte> "..."
  439. <DM> [Fran]: ... wait, that implies that even now, I'm depraved. Forgotten.
  440. <DM> *He slumps to the ground, fire still burning in his eyes.
  441. * Darte speaks through grit teeth. "... Maybe we should have noticed what we were making. That you resented each sacrifice. That we should have been stepping up ourselves, instead. But that doesn't mean I need to repeat old mistakes now."
  442. <DM> [Fran]: Yeah. Maybe you should have. But you're dead now, so I guess I'll-
  443. <DM> [Fran]: ... wait, did the explosion just speak?
  444. <DM> *He causes an explosive flicker in front of him.
  445. <DM> [Fran]: That was just my imagination, right?
  446. * Darte tilts his head up enough so Fran can see his bloodshot, crimson eyes.
  447. <DM> [Fran]: Oh, it's just you! You're alive...
  448. <DM> [Fran]: WHAT?!
  449. <Darte> "If you want your pound of flesh, you can take it. But take it out of me, and leave the rest of the world out of it. It won't be the first time."
  450. <DM> [Fran]: Hmm... I could...
  451. <DM> [Fran]: Or... ooh, I have an idea!
  452. * Darte realizes it wouldn't even be the first time in the last /hour/.
  453. <DM> *His pupils start rotating around his eyes crazily. Looking into his soul, you can see something's clearly taken ahold of him. Madness that reminds you of that creepy man in the purple suit that just loooooves masks...
  454. <Darte> (WELP)
  455. <DM> [Fran]: Yes... YES! That is a GREAT idea!
  456. <DM> [Fran]: It seems making you suffer doesn't actually make you suffer.
  457. <DM> [Fran]: I just have to make everyone you CARE ABOUT suffer instead!
  458. <Melizea> (guess darte spoke too much here huh)
  459. <Darte> "You try, you die. Again. I bargain with my own life alone."
  460. <DM> [Fran]: Well then, I guess we'll just need to-
  461. <DM> *Fran scans the area behind you, looking for the Boss Baba.
  462. <DM> [Fran]: What the? Where'd your friend go?
  463. <DM> *Suddenly, the ground beneath Fran opens up, and he finds himself standing on the tongue of a great and grand Deku Baba.
  464. <DM> *One second, you see Fran, and the next, the Boss Baba fully emerges from the ground, gobbling up Fran with a great big chomp!
  465. * Darte blinks in surprise, stolid pose forgotten as he gapes at his companion. "... Well, that somehow seems far more fitting than I'd expected."
  466. <DM> *The Boss Baba hungrily enjoys chomping down on Fran... until you hear a faint "boom".
  467. <DM> *Boss Baba just straight up stops moving. There's another faint "boom", and you start to see its stalk become malformed.
  468. <DM> *It gulps some air in, and you see the inside of its mouth alight with flame!
  469. <DM> *It looks at you, and then unleashes a great fireball at you, Darte!
  470. <DM> *Roll Wisdom to defend!
  471. <DM> Roll your Power +15 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  472. <DM> Neutral Damage: 10
  473. <DM> EFFECT: If it hits, target loses 5 Magic.
  474. <DM> If the target has no Magic remaining, double the amount of Neutral Damage dealt.
  475. <DM> *There's some extra force thrown into this, so...
  476. <DM> $49d10 Boss Baba
  477. <Navi> DM: You rolled 49 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 7, 8, 8, 8, 9, 7, 5, 1, 2, 4, 2, 7, 4, 5, 6, 6, 9, 5, 4, 3, 5, 3, 6, 6, 1, 1, 5, 4, 8, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 1, 8, 6, 5, 8, 8, 9, 10, 4, 3, 4, 10, 8 and 3. Total: 274. Successes: 34.
  478. <Darte> (Hmm. Slipstream would take three actions to charge, and then the next action would execute it? Or does it execute at the end of the third charge action?)
  479. <DM> (3 Actions to charge it, then a 4th to execute)
  480. * DM pokes Darte for a defense roll.
  481. <Darte> (Sorry, got sidelined about invoices here)
  482. <Darte> $35d10
  483. <Navi> Darte: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 2, 5, 8, 4, 1, 3, 5, 1, 8, 8, 8, 10, 10, 2, 9, 10, 2, 6, 5, 7, 3, 3, 5, 2, 6, 8, 6, 5, 6, 8, 9, 7, 3 and 6. Total: 195. Successes: 26.
  484. <DM> (no problem)
  485. <Darte> (Should've done the full rejuvenation)
  486. <DM> *The great Baba's Fireball catches you, causing you to burst into flames! You successfully become a crispy fried filet, albeit a bit charred.
  487. <DM> *Fran emerges from the flaming Baba's mouth. There's some bite marks on him, but otherwise he seems to be alive and well. He leaps out and lands next to you.
  488. * Darte has no Stalheart to save him this time, and looks like a tasty red snapper.
  489. <DM> [Fran]: Aww, you thought your friendy Baba could take me out? Make it oh-so-convenient for you?
  490. <Darte> https://youtu.be/KezvwARhBIc?t=43
  491. <Kefka> YouTube: UHF - Wheel Of Fish - Views: 1,446,014 - Length: 1:36 - Uploaded: 2006-10-06 - User: sirstrongbad - Likes: 7,418 - Dislikes: 180
  492. * Darte crackles a bit, squeaking gently as some steam escapes.
  493. <DM> [Fran]: Well, I'll tell you what-... right, your corpse doesn't have ears.
  494. <DM> *He takes out more Magical Bone Dust and returns you to life, this time making sure he's got a firm little boot planted inside of your back.
  495. <DM> [Fran]: See your Baba friendy there? I returned him to his old nature. Well, and then some...
  496. <DM> *Looking towards the Boss Baba who was so loyal to you before, it's got lava spewing from its mouth, melting through the ground below. It's also got some of that madness imbued in it.
  497. <DM> [Fran]: I've got the grandest of ideas! How about I send you back as a scared little messenger to your old pals? Tell 'em... your pet is hungry!
  498. <DM> [Fran]: Gimme just a moment, I know just the thing to send back with you...
  499. <DM> *Fran removes his boot from your back, then straps... something else to your back. You can't turn your head to see.
  500. <DM> [Fran]: There we go! Now, Darty boy, any last words for your best friend, Fran?
  501. <DM> [Fran]: Or a message of goodbye for your Pet Baba? Oh wait, it can't hear you, it's going to burn your friends down, kyahahahahah!
  502. <Kefka> My best fran wasn't as cruel as you are.
  503. <DM> [Fran]: WHO SAID THAT?!
  504. * Darte shudders violently as he rouses to horrible life again. "You've broken one companion. Now you've gone too far. The deal's off, and my body's off the-- who said that?"
  505. <DM> [Fran]: Screw it, OFF YOU GO!
  506. <DM> *Fran uses Rocketman on you!
  507. <DM> $1d70
  508. <Navi> DM: You rolled 1 Die with 70 Sides. Result: 1.
  509. <Darte> (...)
  510. <DM> .....
  511. <DM> Excuse me.
  512. <DM> *There's a tiny spark, and your body sorta just... flops over.
  513. <DM> *Fran just... stops working.
  514. <DM> *Fran.exe has run into an unexpected error. Parsing... parsing...
  515. * Darte waits. And waits. When nothing happens, he tries to turn his head again.
  516. <DM> *You turn your head, and you see that he's strapped quite the explosive on your back!
  517. * Darte attempts to peel the explosive off.
  518. <DM> *You find the explosive is easier to peel off than expected. Would you like to strap it onto something else?
  519. * Darte slowly pushes himself upright and staggers over to Baboss, strapping it to the deku's base instead. "I'm sorry, friend. I'd hoped better for you. But better this than a tool of madness."
  520. <DM> *You strap the explosives right as you figure out - the Baboss is very hot to the touch. There's a spark from the explosives, and Fran.exe starts working again.
  521. <DM> [Fran]: Okay, I'm back, what just happened-
  522. <DM> *At once, the explosives you strapped to the Boss Baba go off, directly in your face, to boot!
  523. <DM> *The Boss Baba's lava-filled head is struck forward, causing it to glomp down on an unsuspecting Fran!
  524. <DM> [Fran]: Huh, I'm feelin' kinda bubbly all of a sudden-
  525. <DM> *Fran melts in a near instant, triggering a massive cascade of explosions! The entire area goes up in flames, the collective force shockwaving your corpse high into the sky!
  526. <Darte> (Suicide Party in here)
  527. <Darte> (Sorry. Being repeatedly interrupted here)
  528. <DM> (yer fine)
  529. <DM> lessee, total force of explosion, plus the fact you were literally pointblank to the entire mass, therefore and thusly...
  530. <DM> $365d10
  531. <Navi> DM: You rolled 365 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 2,008. Successes: 263.
  532. <Darte> (The hilarious thing is through all this, I still haven't had enough magic to flash away)
  533. <DM> (pfft)
  534. <DM> *Your corpse proceeds to fly among the birds briefly. You soar past the clouds, say hi to the moon, it waves back, bounce off KEESE AND CO., they give you 1 Heart out of mercy, and you find yourself falling at a rate at a rate of gravity times uhh....
  535. * DM kicks Darte back to #zurpg.
  536.  
  537. -=MEANWHILE=-
  538.  
  539. <Melizea> (so apparently mido said it's too wide to cross at any other point... not sure if that was referring to the river edge.)
  540. <DM> *Alright you manage to pass up the mysterious raft fellas, and eventually you catch up! You see a large group of Kokiri, further upstream, next to the river's edge.
  541. <Melizea> (he also said that they'd be going upriver, but not exactly how far)
  542. * Melizea investigates the area, just in case.
  543. <Melizea> (err, looking around, i guess)
  544. <DM> *SnoopingAS usual- err
  545. <DM> *Alright, you see the Kokiri camping out next to the riverside. Here, at the "thinnest point", there's a bridge... or there's supposed to be one. It's been wrecked, leaving some wood posts on both sides, but even then, that's still about 100 feet across.
  546. <DM> *You hear some Kokiri arguing it out.
  547. <DM> [Porkins]: We can just chop down a tree, get it to land halfway, then Hookshot the rest of the way across!
  548. * Melizea heads up to the Kokiri.
  549. <DM> [Mido]: No! We can't try to forcefully break Saria's spell. Do you want the forest to burn down just for our convenience?
  550. <DM> [Mido]: Oh, Mel, you're back!
  551. <Melizea> "What's the situation?"
  552. <DM> [Mido]: Well, the bridge is broke, and none of us are particularly capable of flight...
  553. * Sephiroth coughs at Mido.
  554. <DM> [Mido]: I suppose we can try to go all the way upriver, climb our ways into Zora's Domai-
  555. <DM> *Mido turns and looks to see a silver-haired tower shield.
  556. <DM> [Mido]: What in the world? Did a shield just cough at me?
  557. <Melizea> "Oh, that's just Sephiroth."
  558. * Sephiroth lowers his shield.
  559. <DM> [Mido]: Oh, it's you! Uhh... .... what's yer name again?
  560. * Sephiroth proceeds to snatch Mido up off his feet and fly him over the river to the other side using his One Wing.
  561. <DM> *Sephiroth, you find no issues flying across the river. However, as you do, you notice that raft coming from downstream.
  562. <DM> *You drop Mido off like the short-term memory'd princess that he is.
  563. <DM> [Mido]: Wh-woah hoh hoh! You can fly?!
  564. <Melizea> "Stand guard."
  565. * Sephiroth returns to the other side of the river.
  566. <DM> [Porkins]: Stand guard? For what?
  567. <DM> *Mido yells out.
  568. <Melizea> "We saw a... scaled creature before heading here. It was manning a raft and has sharp teeth."
  569. <DM> [Mido]: THANKS FOR CARRYING ME, BUT THERE'S STILL ABOUT 70 MORE OF ME... I MEAN KOKIR!
  570. <DM> *Kokiri
  571. <DM> [Porkins]: ZOLAS?
  572. <Melizea> (at this point, it's a running gag that i am slow to react)
  573. <DM> *Several of the other Kokiri perk up at the word.
  574. <Melizea> "Either we should proceed with caution, or try to figure out how we're going to deal with the situation."
  575. <DM> [Saria]: We stand... and fight.
  576. <DM> *Wobbling in from the injured camp, Saria, albeit still weak as heck, is awake and back on her feet... barely.
  577. <DM> [Saria]: Zolas... are hostile. We've never been able to make peace with them.
  578. <Melizea> "I see."
  579. <DM> [Saria]: I'd teleport us across, but...
  580. <DM> *She pulls out the Farore's Wind fragments. They appear to have lost their power. You notice the one that you're hanging onto still has its power, but on its own, it's kinda useless.
  581. <DM> [Saria]: If we can fend them off, I think... we can use their rafts to jump across.
  582. * Melizea nods in anticipation.
  583. * Sephiroth readies his shield.
  584. <DM> (gimme a moment)
  585. <Melizea> (question, can i or somebody else cast something on the river)
  586. <DM> (yes)
  587. <DM> *The raft gets closer, and you start to hear the hungry growls of the Zolas. Physically, you only see one, yet you hear multiple.
  588. <DM> *The Zola's raft stops a good hundred feet downstream from your position.
  589. * Melizea switches over to the ice materia and casts Blizzaga on the river.
  590. <Melizea> Blizzaga:
  591. <Melizea> REQUIREMENTS: Water
  592. <Melizea> COSTS: 8 Magic
  593. <Melizea> Roll your Wisdom +8 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  594. <Melizea> Damage: Halved
  595. <Melizea> EFFECT: Target(s) hit lose 8 Courage.
  596. <DM> *With your Blizzaga, you freeze a large chunk of the river, creating a Titanic situation for the Zolas downstream.
  597. <Melizea> (oh, i was about to roll)
  598. <Melizea> 15h, 3m | Ice Materia and Regeneration Shield Equipped | Wearing Hylian Mask | Force Meter: 25 pts
  599. <Melizea> (eh, i am gonna roll it anyway)
  600. <Melizea> $37d10
  601. <Navi> Melizea: You rolled 37 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 9, 5, 4, 7, 2, 2, 6, 2, 3, 4, 1, 4, 9, 6, 10, 2, 8, 5, 4, 4, 2, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 4, 10, 2, 4, 2, 1, 8, 5, 7 and 10. Total: 192. Successes: 22.
  602. <DM> *Your Blizzaga does indeed create a minor iceberg! The Zola on the raft aims the Clawshot Turret at it, and tries firing it!
  603. <DM> *The clawshot launches out, strikes the iceberg, and hauls the whole thing into the raft, instantly breaking it apart!
  604. <Melizea> (not sure if i should have rolled for crit on this or not)
  605. <DM> (sure wynaut)
  606. <Melizea> $1d3
  607. <Navi> Melizea: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2.
  608. <Melizea> (nope.avi)
  609. <Melizea> (didn't land)
  610. <DM> *The Zola has a look of shock on its face, followed by a face full of ice. The iceberg topples down onto raft, and you see with your Spirit Vision, all the other souls under the raft quickly part to the side. With their lead raft broken and an iceberg blocking their path, the remaining Zolas head back downstream.
  611. <DM> *However, in the distance, you can see something else making its way upstream. It's too far away to tell what exactly it is, but it's definitely bigger than a raft.
  612. <Melizea> (welp, there goes my offensive action)
  613. <DM> [Mido]: *calling from the other side* AWESOME GOING, MEL! HEY, CAN YOU DROP MORE OF THOSE ICEBERGS IN THE RIVER? WE CAN HOP ACROSS THOSE INSTEAD!
  614. * Melizea looks up to the sky-ish.
  615. * Sephiroth glares downstream and continues to have his shield readied.
  616. <Melizea> (can i still act or?)
  617. <DM> (Yes, you can.)
  618. * Melizea downs a green potion to bring herself back up to 11m.
  619. <Melizea> (err, make that 10m)
  620. <Melizea> (can i still cast more blizzaras/blizzagas or do i have to wait on that?)
  621. <DM> *Next round, go!
  622. <DM> (Go nuts.)
  623. * Melizea casts a normal blizzara somewhere in the river.
  624. <Melizea> Blizzara:
  625. <Melizea> REQUIREMENTS: Water
  626. <Melizea> COSTS: 4 Magic
  627. <Melizea> Roll your Wisdom +6 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
  628. <Melizea> Damage: +2
  629. <Melizea> EFFECT: If it hits, target loses 7 Attack Dice.
  630. <Melizea> $35d10
  631. <Navi> Melizea: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 7, 1, 3, 8, 8, 1, 9, 8, 5, 3, 7, 6, 9, 4, 1, 1, 10, 3, 8, 6, 7, 3, 2, 9, 9, 4, 9, 2, 6, 1, 1, 2, 2 and 3. Total: 177. Successes: 19.
  632. <DM> *Your blizzara succeeds, and it forms another platform of ice, albeit a bit smaller than the previous one.
  633. <Melizea> 15h, 6m | Ice Materia and Regeneration Shield Equipped | Wearing Hylian Mask | Force Meter: 25 pts
  634. <DM> [Saria]: If you can get me a potion, I can help with a second one.
  635. <DM> *Sephiroth, as you glare downstream, you notice something pass by the setting sun, as if falling from the sky.
  636. * Melizea tosses Saria a Green Potion? Chateau Romani? at Saria.
  637. <Melizea> (eh, just make it another green potion, i could just buy more)
  638. <DM> *Saria catches the Green Potion, downing it. She then casts a larger version of Roots, creating another platform in the river. One of its roots branches out and holds the Ice Platform in place. Together, it forms enough of a bridge to get you guys about halfway, at which point hookshots should work the rest of the way.
  639. <DM> [Saria]: There, that should do it.
  640. <Melizea> "I feel as if we may want to hurry."
  641. <DM> *Once more, you hear the hungry growls of the Zolas from downstream, though much louder than before. Looking downstream, you see a full-on ship, manned by well over a dozen Zolas, with more Zolas swimming alongside it in the river.
  642. <DM> [Saria]: Looks like we'll still need to fight our way across!
  643. <DM> *One of them aims a Clawshot Turret at your group. It's about to fire, when suddenly...
  644. <Melizea> (Darteboard engages targetlocking)
  645. <DM> *A meteor falls from the sky! Except, it's not a bird, it's not a meteor, it's Darte's corpse!
  646. <DM> oh wait he has 1 Heart technically
  647. <Darte> (Not for long, I suspect)
  648. <DM> *The Clawshot Turret fires, connecting with the falling Darte. However, instead of pulling the Darte towards the turret, the Darte, and his insane falling speed, creates a whirling slingshot effect, ripping the Clawshot Turret out from the ship!
  649. <DM> *They whirl around each other and are flung towards you! However, Darte ends up getting used as an anchor, getting dragged through the ground (and thus dying. Again.), resulting in the Clawshot Turret safely landing next to you, to be used as a convenient weapon for the upcoming encounter.
  650. <DM> *Also, your fish friend is back. With an army of fishy fish friends not far behind him.
  651. * Sephiroth sprinkles some Magical Bone Dust on Darte's corpse.
  652. <DM> *Darte's corpse rises, trying to revive, but it's died so many times that it just can't properly load-
  653. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  654. <DM> -=LOADING=-
  655. <DM> -=SESSION END=-
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