Thread 13: Stories 105-120

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>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>No no, please, I didn't want to keep my lunch down anyway.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."

A sound not unlike bone slowly breaking continued amidst her sharp hisses and flinching. Likewise, the prince himself was doing his best to hold in his own discomfort as he watched her back legs slightly twist and contort slightly.

"Oowowowowowowow...Done!"

>Okay, your legs now look kind of weird. Is that the power? I feel like that's not all, and this is somehow going to get worse.

"Ah hah! But it is not! For you see, the only downside to this one is the two hours it takes me to get it to where I can actually use them. No, these are one of the rare powers that are actually useful!...mostly."

>GASP!

"Right?"

>...

"..."

>...So, uh, you going to elaborate?

"...OH! Well, it's just, I'm supposed to actually be outside."

>Because?

"Um. Because this."

She took a step forward, a little awkwardly, but the moment her hind legs moved she suddenly rocketed up into the air as if a spring trap had gone off underneath her.

There was a crack when she hit the ceiling, and then all was quiet.

>...Chrysalis?... Crissy?... You uh, you okay?... Chryyyyyysalis?

She did not answer verbally.

But her falling to the ground with a crumbly-splatty noise said it all, really.

>...Huh.
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>Cadence
"Applejack"
[Spike]
~~~~

>Applejack! Thank you for coming.

"...This is mah' room. Ya' walked inta' mah' room and just started talkin'."

>Fine, thank you for asking. Anyway, I'm glad you're here, I need a little girl talk.

"And ya' came... ta' me..."

>Oh, I know it shouldn't bother me, but I'm actually starting to get slightly miffed with everyone trying to sleep with my husband!

"And, again, ya' came ta' me? Wha' do ya' want me ta' do? Ah' like Chrysalis over there insteada over here. She bugs me less."

>I mean, I know he'd never cheat on me, but I feel... inadequate, sometimes.

"...Yer' an Alicorn, niece ta' the most influential pony on the planet, have yer' own castle made outta gemstones, and have a literal army at yer' command. Ah' appreciate the attempt at humility, but it's a mite insincere."

>I just think-

"You know what? Ah'ma stop you right there. Yer' the Princess o' love, right? That's yer' thing? Well, iffin' ya' want ta' make him happy, well, yer' the Alicorn of makin' love too, ain't ya'? Just go give him a ruttin', and problem solved. Yer', like, the head o' that, right?"

>...

"..."

>...

"...Why is yer' eye twitchin'-"

~~~~~~~~~~

[What the hell did you do!?]

The orange Alicorn stuck halfway in the castle wall only shrugged, and continued to wish that Spike would chisel faster.

"Ah' don't think Ah'm cut out fer' handin' out advice on the matters o' the heart, Spike. Ya' try ta' help a girl, and she sends ya' halfway across the castle and inta' a wall.... YA'LL GET AWAY FROM THERE!"

[Who's on the other side?]

"Who do ya' think? STOP SNUGGLIN' IT! BAD! BAD CHANGELING!"
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>Chrysalis
“Applejack
‘Spike’
______

>Heyo, appleass, dragonboy.

“Do Ah really need to break out the biscuit tubes so early in the mornin’?”

>Hey, whoa, no need for threats. Especially non-sexy threats. I just need ya to sign this form real quick.

“…Ha. HahahaHAHAHAHA! Whoooo Nelly, that’s… that’s a good one! Haaaa, no.”

>Wha- no? Oh come on, ya haven’t even looked at it yet! Here, just take a peek-

“The last ‘form’ of yer’s Ah signed put marriages all over Equestria on the fringe. In fact, thanks to y’all, me’n Spike now triple-check whatever we sign. Congrats. Ya made us up legislature security.”

‘And if I may? I curse your mangy black hide to the bowels of Taratarus, Buggy.’

>Oh my, such flattery from one so young. Alas, I think this booty may be a bit much for you to handle, young’n.

‘I… what?’

>I promise it’s nothing like that this time. Please? Pweety, pweety pwease with Two on top?

“*sigh* Fiiiine… give it here….”

Applejack regarded the flimsy piece of paper like it was a bomb set it go off yet, as Spike leaned in read with his eyes narrowed apprehensively, she found herself leaning forward midway through. By the time she read the last line, she was standing, one hoof on the desk and one holding the paper. She glanced up at Chrysalis; the bug-queen was standing there with a blank expression.

“What… okay, ya little beetle, what is this?”

>Didn’t I write it clear enough? I double-checked my spelling and everyth-

“Cut the bull, Chrysalis. What. Is. This?”

Having been outpaced by Applejack, Spike took the letter to continue reading. When he finished seconds later, one might swear he’d been fed a poisonous diamond.

‘You… you want to leave…?’

>So I wrote everything correctly. Yay me.

“What’re y’all tryin’ to pull here? You? Jus’ suddenly wantin’ to leave? That’s mighty suspect.”

>I already wrote my reasonings down but okay, I’ll try and make it clearer. You’re all a swell bunch, really, you are… but this is getting painful.

‘Painful? What is?’

Chrysalis lifted a hoof and pointed it at the baffled dragon, the shifted it over to rest on Applejack.

>This. Us. I’ve… seen enough movies and read enough children’s books to know how this ends. If you people weren’t so great… and helping… and forgiving… if you were just pieces of shit I wouldn’t be in this position… so in retrospect it’s all your fault.

Applejack winced as though Chrysalis’s words had struck her on a physical level.

“Yer’ sayin’ because we showed you and yer’ family kindness, that’s why ya wanna leave? That makes no sense!”

>You just said it… right there, you did. Family. Those drones of mine are NOT my family, they never were and were never meant to be. They were supposed to be soldiers, my warriors, I’m supposed to be their vicious Queen… but somewhere along the line I forgot my purpose, why my mother chose me out of hundreds of others to eat her heart….

There was the sound of paper being crumpled and Applejack tossed the balled-up form on the ground where it rolled to a halt at the queen’s hooves.

“Y’all can jus’ stop right there ‘cause we’re not signin’ it. Period. Ah’d sooner trade in mah hat than sign that. Are y’all outta yer’ damn mind? Do… do ya have any idea how badly it would hurt us if you left?”

‘Wh-what about Shiny, huh? And Two…? She’ll be crushed that her not-mom is just planning to abandon her!’

>There’s that, certainly. Now. Ask me if I care.

“…”
‘…’

>I do. And caring leads to affection. Affection leads to love. Love leads to... well, I’m not going to give that a chance to cement itself. Nearly all of my drones are out doing their own thing, no one answers to me anymore, I’m queen in name only at this point…

She coughed up a mirthless laugh.

>I… don’t know how it got to this… but I’m sick of it. I’d be better off going elsewhere to start something new. It’s what my mother would’ve wanted. As for the others, I’ve written up proper citizenship forms for them as well. Each and every one. Once you sign those, they’ll be legal citizens of Equestria… free of my control to do what they want. I know you’ll look after them.

“…w-why’re ya doin’ this, Chrysalis? Give me the real reason. Ah… Ah… why?”

>Is appleass crying over me? Never thought I’d see the d-

There was a purple blur and then something attached itself to Chrysalis’s front leg. Tightly. She glanced down at the top of Spike’s head.

>…were I what I’m supposed to be, I’d be siphoning the love you’re pouring into me and drain you dry.

Her leg muffled his reply yet by the faint traces of a grin curling her lips it was obvious she understood.

>Would that stop me from leaving? Not a chance. But then again, it is….

And she paused, bending low and dipping her head until her lips were right next to his ear.

>April Fools day.

“…”
‘…’

>PAHAHAHAHAHA! OHMIGOD! You two should’ve seen the looks on your faces when you read that form! You were all ‘bloobloobloo Chwyssi’s weaving ussss’! HA, you think it’s that easy to get rid of this much sexiness? Guess again! Thanks for the love though, dragonboy, I’m literally touched you care about me! Your love was so warm and just a biiiiit sweet, yum~!

“…”
‘…’

>Ya see, I didn’t think just wanting to leave would fool you guys, you’re tough to trick, I’ll give you that, so I decided to play it up a bit, and then go in for the kill with the other Changeling forms. By the way? Those don’t exist, and never will. All those love-sick puppies down there are MINE. Forever!

“…”
‘…’

>I’m still amazed this worked! Go me! I mean, after everything we’ve been through, you really thought I’d just up and leave? That’s a scary world out there and I’m a dainty, delicate, highly sexualized queen! What if some vandals got hold of me and forced me into some indecent acts against my will? I’d kill them, of course, but the very thought is enough to… is enough to… hm. It’s enough to excite me, really… but that’s another thought for another day 'cause on THIS day, I am victorious!

“…”
‘…’

>What? I don’t get a round of applause for that wonderful acting?

~~~~~~

>Oh this is bullshit!

An apron donning, chef’s hat wearing Queen of Changelings continued to grumble sullenly under her breath as she quickly moved from one end of the vast, empty kitchen to the other, trying to prepare multiple meals at once. She was alone, the only cook on duty for about the next two months according to the law drawn up by Applejack and Spike and set into motion.

>You both can bite the fattest part of my ass! Here, a cheek for each for each of you!

“Hey, less gab, more cookin’. If y’all burn my apple fritters, it’ll be an extra two days added on.”

‘Yeah, and make sure my diamonds are seared to perfection, Buggy.’

>…still worth it.

“'What was that?'”

>Nothing, nothing!

NON CANON
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>AJ56
_______

The day couldn’t have been going any better for 56, and there was nothing particularly special to owe to it. It was just generally a good day. Sun was bright, the cooks had given him extra snacks and he was on his way to visit Luna to see how her diet was going. Of course, he already knew progress was slow, if not going in reverse.

>But that’s why I’m here! Dunduhduuuuh! Super 56 on the way to turn that frown upside-do-….

He came to an abrupt halt next to a peculiar patch of wall. Now, the wall by itself wasn’t all that fascinating. Rather, it was what was IN the wall that caused his eyes to widen and jaw to drop.

>It… I don’t believe it. Wake up, 56, you're dreamin'. There’s no way it could be just laid out for you like this….

He pinched himself, but still the sight remained, and that was all the proof of reality he needed. He didn’t care to wonder how half of Applejack’s backside was sticking out of the wall, the other half no doubt protruding on the other side. All that mattered in that moment was the sheer bliss he felt when he leapt like a tiger, burying his muzzle deep between her warm, slightly fuzzy, rotund cheeks.

>Mmmmmph…~

The muffled yelp of surprise on the other side didn’t slow him at all and he continued, working his hooves into her rump as he sank to his knees, just that quickly forgetting all about his prior appointment with Luna in lieu of this bountiful blessing.

It was a good day.
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
[???]
~~~

>AHAHAHAHAH! AHHHHAAHAHAHAH!

"Well, you look happy."

>I am! Ooooh, look at all these offers! VIP seats at movie premiers, tickets to so many sports shows, invitations to so many amazing looking parties, all so that they can say they got the "Legendary Queen" to show up. Oh, I am going to milk this!

"This right here?"

>What?

"This. You're going to milk this. The stuff laid out on the desk."

>Yeah? What are you-

"The stuff you are working on, which is currently on the desk. The stuff made of... paper."

>...No.

"You are 'working' on stuff, 'paper' stuff, on the desk."

>Shiny, no.

"Is it up?"

>Is what up?

"The messing. "

>Messing up what?

"Messing up Crissy's paaaapers!"

>NOOOOOO! I'LL CUT YOU-

"Boop!"

>GODDAMN SHIELD! NO! STOP! STOP IIIIIIT! THOSE ARE IMPORTANT!

"Messing up Crissy's paaaapers! With my big 'ol booooooty!"

>DAMN YOU! You are actually making me NOT want to stare at your ass! YOU MON- Wait, does this mean you're going to do everything I normally do?

"Yep."

>...Alllll of it?

"Everything."

>Even the... offers?

"Yes, I am going to make offers. Offers of a lewd nature."

>....EEEEEEE...So, uh, what're you going to-

"Oh, think I'll offer some oral sex, that's what you normally start with, right?"

>R-r-right! Soooo...

"So... HEY! CELESTIA!"

'Yeah?'

"You want some oral sex?"

'....Eeeehhh... nah. Don't want to burn your face off. Thanks for the offer, though!'

"Anytime!... wow, that is fun, I see why you do it all the time."

>....AHHHHHHHHHHH~

"Messin' up Crissy's paaaapers!"

>-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~"
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Later that night, with the rest of the flour finally washed out of her hair, Chrysalis sat in her private quarters, staring silently at a box.

The box was nothing special, plain, unassuming, it's only decoration being a label that simply read 'No ponies or drones allowed.'

Lifting the lid, she sifted through the contents, making sure that each carefully written piece of paper were exactly where she left them.

It wouldn't do for nights work of writing to go to waste after all.

Satisfied that all forms were present and accounted for, she returned them all to the box and resealed the lid.

Crawling underneath her bed, she gently stuck the box to the bottom of the bed with some goo.

She's going to have enough egg on her face in the next two months even without the contents of that little box being discovered, thank you very much.

Flopping bonelessly onto her bed, she thought back to when she first planned her prank, imagining all the different ways that either of them would react.

Thoughts of a loyal soldier filled her head, followed by a tireless bureaucrat, an innocent child, a dramatic who aims for the stars, a damaged veteran, a troubled father to be, a disillusioned rebel, a messenger who wishes to spread knowledge to all he meets, a luckless determinator, a stubborn pursuer of purpose and many more flash through her head in quick succession.

As she drifted off to sleep with those images in her mind, she breathed out to an empty room.

>...still worth it.
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>Spike
"Rarity"
'applejack'
~~~
Spike enters Applejack and Rarity's shared room

'Well howdy there, loverboy, how'd firearm trainin' go?'

>I'd rather not talk about it.

"Dear, you shouldn't keep your troubles inside, it's only going to eat you up from within."

'Not ta mention tha stress'll put holes in ya.'

>You wanna talk about putting holes in me and my day?

Spike grabs a glass of water, downs it, his drink promptly leaks out of Spike on various parts of his body

(lesson learned for Spike: never let Pinkie join in on the firearms training unless you want it to become a Bugs bunny cartoon.)

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>32
"Potatojack"

>...and so here I wait outside Princess Sparkle's lab, hoping that poor Pommel may be restored to his prior masculinity.

32 sits across from PJ at the Gun Club meeting table, ignoring the sounds of screaming coming from within Twilight's lab.

>It's wonderful of you to sit here and listen to me prattle on, dear Sister...what was your number?

PJ shrugs, nibbling a bit more on her potato.

>Ah, well, it's no matter. Your attributes identify you well enough. You know, it's nice to talk with another changeling without the tension it normally entails. With 77 our prior history hangs over us like a storm cloud, with 42 my questioning of the Queen's authority throws civility out the window.

PJ gives a knowing nod.

>Which is an awful pain of course. This organization, this Gun Club, it's quite impressive, and I would proud to be a part of it. However...one thing gives me pause...

PJ arches an eyebrow.

>I would like to begin my membership with a spar against one of my own kind. Nothing large or grand, mind you, I don't warrant the production values of Princess Sparkle's chamber. Merely a test of martial might against one of my fellows-

"I'll do it."

32 blinks, looking over at the other changeling who is now balancing her potato on her hoof.

>Really now?

"It's no trouble, Brother, and if it gets you in the club that much better."

>Hmm...and do we have a suitable battleground for this confrontation?

"This way, c'mon."

Popping her potato back into her mouth, PJ leads 32 towards the simple drill yard that served for a fair few of the Club's training sessions...

It is quite a while later and the two changelings are in full swing, deftly dodging and striking out at one another with the practiced grace of trained warriors.

>Your technique is impeccable, sister.

32 cranks back his head to dodge a shot aimed for his muzzle.

>I took your eccentricity for granted, you have my humblest of apologi-oof!

32 stumbles back, one hoof holding his abdomen as he fends PJ's advance, finally putting some distance between the two of them.

>Alright, alright, flattery will get me nowhere, I see. Let our blows do the talking.

PJ's response is a wry grin as the two spend nearly half an hour striking and countering, grappling and escaping, until Potatojack slips below 32's guard and in an instant slaps on a chokehold. As 32 attempts to wriggle away his legs are knocked out from under him, slamming him onto the ground and immobilizing him with PJ's hold still locked in.

"Now..."

>Nngh...yes, yes, I can see. I submit.

"No, not that, now that I've got you trapped I'd like to explain a few things to you."

>Wh-what-gah!

PJ cranks on the hold.

"No, don't talk, just listen. You came here to help your friends, that's pretty admirable. But when you met with the Queen, you turned rebellious, against her and all the rest of us as well. You feel like everything you used to know has turned against you, but honestly that can't be farther than the truth."

>Wha-nngh!

"Listen. You can't keep going on like this, all your attitude is going to do is make more dead changelings, the exact thing that got you so angry in the first place. The fact is your anger is pointless, what happened was a horrible mistake, and what your doing isn't going to bring your friends back."

>...

"You have to stop seeing us all as allies and enemies and see us for what we are: Your family. Brothers and sisters, ring a bell? I don't know if you've noticed but it's not just the Gun Club that's ready to let you join, the hive has been ready to accept you back from the word go, but you have to make peace with yourself and with the others if that's going to happen. So just...stop being such an idiot already!"

32's body impacts the dirt as PJ shoves him down. Silence reigns for a few moments.

"Just...y'know. Food for thought."

32 groans a bit, shakily getting up.

>I...thank you, sister, that was...enlightening. That potato you keep in your mouth plugs up quite a flow of knowledge.

PJ nods as she resumes her snacking.

>Your revelations have given me much to think about, allow me to ponder them, but...yes, yes I think you put the truth of things into the words I couldn't. There is much I may have yet to do, but please inform the Gun Club I have accepted their invitation with the reverence it deserves.

PJ smiles as 32 walks away, then grimaces as her stomach grumbles. Damn does she miss meat...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the ballroom of canterlot, surrounded by small stacks of paper, a figure sits hunched over the newest addition to his masterpiece, furiously transcribing their thoughts into reality, the pen held within their magical grip almost a blur as word after word forms in it's wake.

Suddenly, the figure pauses and looks toward the ceiling as they sense a kindred spirit writhing in agony.

Sympathizing with their pain, the changeling cracks their neck and returns to revising their fanfics with renewed vigor.

>Damn genders, they ruin everything.
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>Spike
"Pommel"
~~~
"Oh, sweet Celestia, that was hell..."

>Pommel, you okay?

"Yeah, just didn't know curing Poison joke would involve her machines in my vagOOO..."

>... Uhhh, it doesn't... Just a hot bath in a special solution.

"Then why the hell did Princess Sparkle need to extract ova me?!"

>You went to the wrong princess for sane and sensible solutions.
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>Applejack
"Twilight"
~~~
>alrigh', Twi, we need ta have a serious discussion 'bout wha you did wit' Pommel's eggs.

"Ah, always happy to share my knowledge! The eggs I extracted did not turn back into sperm upon his return to masculinity. Furthermore, his sperm count did not seem affected by this extraction!"

>Yeah, Twi, that's that kind o' thin that makes us need ta have these talks. Now maybe Ah'm jus' old fashioned, an' while Ah do appreciate what'cha looked into so far, but Ah don' wan'cha ta go causin' unplanned parenthoods!

"Applejack, I'm shocked!"

>Uhh... Oh boy, this is where Ah learn I just made an ass o' mahself, ain' it?

"No, understandable mistake. Admit my morality and ethics are not always up to snuff, and in the past, they've been worse. Have learned my lesson in meddling in the lives of others, even those whom I create thanks to Flash Sentry. Working more towards the actual good than simply shielding my guilt with scientific inquiry."

>Then, why tha ova?

"further research on cross species fertilization. I insert it into a genetic sequence scanner, gain far more valuable information than simple variations on myself, then I use information to determine circumstances, safeties, and learn potential complications."

>Oh... Any progress?

"Recently ran simulation of full term pony pregnancy with changeling offspring, results fascinating in 3 out of 10 scenarios. Premature birth not entirely adverse: spawn is simply born a larva and will need time to pupate. Until then care would be needed."

>Ah know Ah asked fer this, but it's still more than Ah wanted to know.

"Always do appreciate your willingness not to walk out on these lectures.On a related note: I have discovered something to raise dragon/alicorn fertility up to a 1 in 20 chance!"

>Migh' be back fer that later.

"Hopefully, when that happens I'll have it up to one in one or even enable multiple births. in the meantime, must resume cordyceps research."

>Ah should go.

"Always a pleasure."
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>Gwen
"Applejack"
[AJ10]
{BBB}
~~~

>Must we do this so close to your castle? I do not like being in the proximity of those... things.

"The parks far enough away from the dang ballroom, chill yer fuzzy rear."

>Ugh, I don't know how you put up with those things.

"What's yer' problem with them anyway?"

>Besides the obvious "takes over your life, drains the very love from your heart and then kills you" thing?

"Besides that."

>They're all loud, obnoxious little pests, and I'm pretty sure biologically I should be trying to eat them. They're dangerous monsters who should not be brought into society like this... well, okay, most of them. Two of them are fine.

"...Wait, two? You mean like, two the number or Two the Changeling-"

>SHE IS A DEMON IN PURE, BLACK, CHITINOUS FORM AND SHE WILL DESTROY US ALLLLLLLLLL!

"...So, two the number. 56, is one of 'em, who's the other?"

>...Don't you worry about it, just resign the damn form.

"See? This is why we gotta do this next to the castle. This is the fifteenth damn-oh come on! Can ya' just write yer' signature the same ONCE!"

[No, she can't.]

The pair paused, searching around for where the voice could have originated from.

In hindsight, the robot should have made it easier.

[See, in the third century, the current barbarian Griffon king LongClaw got the idea in his head that if you did it the same every time, anyone could copy it! So he instead just wrote it different every time, but kept in a particular loop or sequence of loops that is special only to HIM. This cut down on fraud so much that every king or Queen afterwards took up the policy! So, if she ever DID write it the same twice in a row, you would know it wasn't her.]

"..."

>...That, yes.

"Why didn't ya' just tell me!"

>I thought you idiots did it too! Not my fault you're so behind on the times my THIRD CENTURY ancestor is ahead of you!

[Nu-uh, royal ponies use a special stamp with a magical enhancement, their seal is nearly impossible to replicate without Alicorn or high unicorn level magic.]

>...That's reasonable too, I guess. Actually sounds like less of a hassle too.

"It ain't, that magic is finnky, and iffin it' messes up ya' gotta redo everythin' ya' sealed with it."

>I sympathize, I sometimes write my signature the same way twice by accident, it's a whole thing.

"Did ya'll need somethin', Ten?"

[I'm just waiting. I was s'posed to get another interview with her five minutes ago, but this looked important.]

{ERROR! TIME EXCEEDED HAS REACHED SEVEN MINUTES! EXTERMINATE!}

"What?"

>He's trying to exterminate time.

"...Good luck with that. Sorry ta' keep ya' waitin'."

>Hrmph.

"Why her?"

>Because at least SOMEONE appreciates my rich and storied history! Come, female changeling interviewer, we're up to the seventh century, yes?

[Yep!]

>Then I shall not keep any longer. Good day, Applejack.

The princess left them, able to overhear the Queen going into a long spiel before she had even made it out of hearing range. In front of her, the multiple copies of the recent trade agreement magically floated. Sure enough, there were subtle similarities. Idly she wondered why she had never questioned it before.

"Huh... learn somethin' new everyday, Ah' guess."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Mane-Iac"
~~~~

>...Okay, I'm just going to come outright and say it, what exactly do you think this word means?

"Why, Luminous Shield! I did not think you took me for a fool! HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH MY- shoot, hold on... a-hem, which word?"

>The one at the top of the paper. The... 'thing' you are trying to enter into. With me.

"AHHHHHAHAHAH! I understand now, Luminous Shield! But yes, though I am the greatest in the field of VILLANY! I am still well versed in the terminology of you heroes! I understand fully well that I am asking to join your task force of JUSTICE! AND WE SHALL RULE-... I mean, we shall help out ponies in need. Changelings too... and dragons... and Gryphons... wow, lots of work, actually."

>Okay, just to double check, Chrysalis suggested this?

"Why, yes! She was the one who suggested I join your forces, and even wrote up my initiation form! Not to worry, she assured me there is plenty of room for multiple anti-heroes on the team! AND WE SHALL BE THE GREATEST- curses, I mean we'll work together well."

>Okay, you come from a comic book... a comic book for seven year olds at that, so I'm just going to assume you've never heard this word in your life.

"Indeed! Before today, I was never privvy to this-"

>Stopping you right there. Just so we're clear, for future reference, that is not what a 'harem' is.

"....It is not an orignazation dedicated to justice, justice which is mostly punching monsters or robots?"

>It is not. Completely unrelated to that in every way.

"Then what is it?"

>It refers to a group multiple ponies who would regularly have sex with a single shared partner, in this case me. This paper is saying you wish to join said group of others in having sex with me.

"...What is 'sex'?"

>...oh, shit, kids comic, right....

"..."

>...Ffffffffffffff-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~
Later that day, Shining Armor smirks to himself. "Well... The Gun Club slash A-Team is Equestria's ace in the hole... Maybe... Maybe Mane-iac was onto something."

Shining Armor grabs all of the harem forms Chrysalis made and uses transmutation magic to alter the wording and...

"Aha! Application forms for SHINING ARMOR'S ELEMENTS OF JUSTICE! The Crystal Empire's mightiest heroes!"

CANON DEBATABLE
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taking deep, cleansing breaths, AJ42 mentally prepared herself for Spike and PotatoJack's next test.

"Everyone ready?" Spike called and received a muffled 'yes' from PJ while 42 merely nodded.

The Dragon then pointed at the simulated monster.

"Alright, 3! 2! 1! Pull!" Spike and PJ proceeded to fire out their tow cables and clamp onto the monster's legs and begin dragging it towards them.

Leaping into the air with a small flip, 42 positioned herself for a drop kick to catch the helpless beast.

And was promptly slingshot with it down the simulacrum block.

"Okay... so that combo isn't going to work..." 42 grumbled while rubbing her head.

"Maybe just not that way, maybe if you gave it a nice, grounded buck and PJ and I eased up on the retraction speed it would allow you to deliver a full force strike then?"

42 shook herself clear as she stood up and approached them. "Maybe, but can we try the other one?" Her expression became sheepish. "I like that one, it's fun."

Spike and PJ gave eachother a glance and a nod, they fired their towlines to grapple opposite walls while 42 charged towards the cables. Slamming hard against them, the lines yielded to the changeling knight before resisting her and flinging her into the air towards the fallen target for a flying, elbow drop.

"You know, these grappling hooks are amazing for team assists, don't you think so?"

The other changelings nodded enthusiastically as she watched her superior crumple the beast's chest, bounce off from her own attack and deliver a second elbow drop.
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