4chan Hazbin Hotel story - Heaven's Folly

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General Thread #267
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Another idea from prev. thread:

>Headcanon: there's a single god who created everything and then sat back. Everything else, gods and angels and demons work in pantheons to rule the world and the winners cast out the losers into Hell.
>To mundanes, i.e. mortals without magical knowledge and powers, they're difficult to tell apart and sinners being demons appear to them like fallen deities or angels.
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I like this idea. Darker implications are to my liking.
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/x/ (not the nu shit we have now) believed deities were like "mods" to the universe and merely had different names but were the same people. I liked that very much and have been using this on other chans.
Yes, I'm a Kek fag.
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Interesting - but I guess that's a good way to describe them.
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Isn't that the catholic church's canon? That all pantheons are of the devil in disguises?
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Sort of. But the idea here is that God created everything, and the pantheons that came and went where just intermediate deities - once they failed, they joined the ranks of the Devil.
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Christianity is general says, unlike Judaism and Islam that all other pantheons are legit, but they're fallen angels and do magic based on how many followers they have, while the other Abrahamic faiths claim they're all demons and fake and by the way destroy them and scratch them from history.
Of course Christians did destroy other faiths, but didn't really eradicate them, but it was a case to case scenario, but often preserved the memory and artifacts. A powerless idol wasn't seen as a dangerous thing that had to be destroyed at all costs, anymore.
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Didnt they say that other religions gods were saints or angels?
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So assuming that periods of prosperity for a civilization or culture correspond to whichever pantheon happens to be on top at the time that would mean like

>4th Dynasty Old Kingdom Egypt
>Mycenaean Greece
>Renaissance Europe

Were all times when the deities those people worshiped were the ones running the show right?
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Yeah. Well, they called themselves deities, but by modern standards, I'd imagine they would just be high-ranking angels, tied to elements and celestial bodies instead of aspects of God.
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I'm kind of imagining a reason for Heaven to be all cold and mechanical looking and for us to be seeing Egyptian gods in the background shots of Hell.

>A bunch of angels get together
>"I'm sick of watching power swing back and forth from one pantheon to another."
>"I'm sick of watching these lesser gods coddle their favorite civilizations while the rest of creation suffers wars and famines and plagues."
>"Let's cast ALL of them out! We'll rule over creation and we'll do it with fairness and equality!"

So they did, and now the angels are pretty much the only ones who aren't in Hell. But then they accidentally a soulless totalitarian 'utopia'.
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I can see that
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Trips of truth.
Angels are canonical (according to the original meaning of canon, a liturgical word) without free will. They have no "soul" to speak of. Maybe they're made of soul and can't die. Maybe it's a hyper-efficient bureaucracy.
The bureaucratic heaven idea is my favorite headcanon.
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>Heaven is a hyper efficient bureaucracy
>Makes itself more efficient over time with machinery
>Operates so fast that in the macro, Heaven as a whole functions like a single consciousness, with it's own goals and motives
>The numerous Angels that make it up do not understand the super superconsciousness they're part of or its goals any more than a single cluster of gray matter can understand the entire human brain

There's no bargaining with the Angel's to get them to stop the exterminations, even if evidence of a demon's redemption is staring them in the face. All they know is that they've got orders, and those orders say XYZ million demons need to be dead before the stroke of midnight
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THIS.
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Clearly, they need get Heaven's attention.

Question is:
How many Exterminators does Hell will have to capture (and/or corrupt/kill) to get Upstairs to respond?
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I dont think theyd care
>Exterminators are mass produced biological weapons
>They have even less independent thought than angels
>No fear
>No love
>No creativity
>No soul
>Just living weapons
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Yeah, but...
>Exterminators stop returning
>the quotas aren't being fulfilled
>they start sending increasingly larger numbers, at increasing frequency - eventually sending entire legions, non-stop
>Hell just fucking absorbs them, like a black hole
>finally, a more conscious angel is sent to investigate

>ends up captured, and witnesses the Exterminators being impaled, burned at the stake, or corrupted into demons, before being brought before an unhinged Charlie (and her associates, now numbed into apathy), who demands to speak with God
>and she WON'T take "No" for an answer
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>"This is Ambassador #991 calling Heaven."
>"We've made a terrible mistake."
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>This started because one exterminator was defective
>It had the smallest amount of emotions and curiosity
>It arrived in hell but didn't kill anything
>It just floated there
>Watching
>Charlie flew up to it
>It said one word
"Why?"
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>with no voice to speak with, and no mimicry of it's own, the led mask began to flicker, quickly flipping through patterns, until a blinking text cursor
>after a minute of cycling through what looked like the designations of computer files, lines of programming and just garbled text, it finally managed to type out the following:

>n0
>t0rtUr3
>n0
>p3n4n3
>n0
>sUff3r1ng
>4w4y
>fr0m
>God's grace...

>It's mask went dark for a few seconds, before it lit up completely, flashing Charlie in the face
>it slowly darkened again, and the cursor returned, now typing out the sentences fluently:

>Only God can offer mercy for the repenting.
>Those who turned away from the grace of God must seek it to earn redemption.
>For there is no redemption without God.|

>and it just froze there, the last line displayed on it's face
>whether it felt perplexed upon seeing Charlie crack a smile, perturbance upon hearing her chuckle, or disturbance upon hearing it break into a full-blown cackle, nobody could tell

>since then, this one Exterminator was allowed to live
>and bared witness to it's kin being made familiar with pain, suffering and torment
>heard their voices cry out for the grace of God - which never came
>it saw the associates of the Devil's child break from what they saw, seeking refuge within their own minds, their faces becoming no different from it's own LED mask
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>Eventually, an inspecting angel is captured, and brought before the Princess
>though he sends a message to Heaven, and is thus spared, he seems absolutely crestfallen
>allowed a private conversation with the Exterminator, he helps it remove it's mask...
>...revealing a face quite similar to the Princess'

>shocked for the first time in it's life, it demands answers like a human - only for the messenger to reveal Heaven's darkest secret:
>they, the Exterminators, were just the grafted, artificial, mass produced version of what Charlie is: part human, part demon, part angel
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Oh, shit.
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>"Oh shit, indeed!"

>while Heaven imbued impure mortal souls with angelic powers (which soon corrupted by their presence), and had the grafted into artificial bodies, to be used for dirty work, Lucifer and Lilith had actually raised a child with love and discipline
>all Exterminators were, in fact, accidental and imperfect copies of Charlie - all, but one

You guys remember Solagne?
https://pastebin.com/HLKFgNGc
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Imagine being being not even a year old and having what passes for your innocence shattered
>Wrong
>All wrong
>#6758914-Alpha only knew sinners and demons as unfeeling monsters that must be put down for the sake of Heaven and Earth
>But all of its indoctrination couldn't smother the small spark of a soul it was mistakenly given
>Sinners and demons running and screaming
>Braver ones holding the line for their friends to get away, only for them to die shortly after
>It doesn't understand
>Wrong
>Everything is wring
>Its face feels wet
>Why does its eyes sting?
>Why?
>Why?
>WhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhyWhywhywhywhy
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Imagining how powerful Lucifer might be due to him being the 2nd strongest angel to ever live, and considering even the overlords fear the Angel Exterminators,I can only imagine how unbelievably powerful Michael might be, considering HE is the strongest angel to ever live.
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You know what would be fucked up?
>Behind every exterminators mask, they all look like Lucifer before his fall
>Lucy hates this
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>Charlie finds a dead exterminator
>How it died, it is unknown
>Presumably, a couple of stronger-demons found an isolated one and ganged up on it with all their might and killed it
>Curiosity overwhelms her, decides to take off the mask
>She finds a face that looks all too similar to her own
>She starts questioning her entire being
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>The Exterminators are copies of copies of copies(cont.) of Lucifer
>Heaven had to take some of charlies DNA/essence or whatever to keep making viable exterminators
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What happens with syncretism? Some gods were used in multiple pantheons, and some were called with names stringed together, like Jupiter-Amon, or Jupiter-El.
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I like to think capturing one would be difficult, and keeping one captured would be even more hard to accomplish. One.
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>Angel will never be able to help the defective exterminator become an actual person
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You mean corrupt right?
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>try to help, end up corrupting, because that's all he knows
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Angel should just be erased along with all of hell bud
They deserve everything thats happening to them, because surprise surprise they're shitty self centered assholes who fucked people over in life
Show should end with Charlie becoming the eternal empress of hell and burning everyone in a lake of fire as god intended
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And nothing changes. The true punishment: whatever you do has no effect.
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>They deserve everything thats happening to them, because surprise surprise they're shitty self centered assholes who fucked people over in life
We don't know that, at least not about EVERYONE in hazbin hell. It could be a situation where you sin ONCE and ONLY ONCE, and your sent straight to hell because of that, despite all the good you've ever done in life.
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>Angel is taking the unmasked "angel" out on the town
>Sinners and demons give them a wide berth
>Partially because 1) its a fucking exterminator, and 2) the last guy to get too close got stabbed
>Cherri was sceptical about the angelic being but started having fun messing with the defect
>"Ey Sterm, drink this!"
>#6758914-Alpha looks at the fluid filled glass offered to him by the sinner he came to know as Angel Dust
>'What angel dusted him?'
>He takes the glass and Angel watches the exterminator open his mouth
>He laughs his nice cushiony ass off when the exterminator puts the fluid in his mouth, and even more when the booze splashes out
>"Whassa matter? Ya never drank anything before?"
>#6758914-Alpha shakes his head, he always had a feeding tube down his throat
>Or at least he did before Charlie unmasked him
>"C'mere, lemme show ya how to swallow."
>>"Yeah you know all about swallowing don't ya Angie!"
>#6758914-Alpha watches Angel drink his booze and swallow it and mimics the spider
>Most of the booze dribbled out of his mouth when he stuck his tongue out at the taste
>"Heheh, how's it taste?"
"Bad."