HeliAnon

How I met your Mother(MoondancerxAnon)

Oct 7th, 2015
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  1. >You watched as the ever reclusive mare stared at the ground.
  2. >"I never really had a special somepony before."
  3. >Where was she going with this?
  4. >Wait a tick, was she confessing?
  5. >To you.
  6. >"I know I'm not anything special and your super popular here."
  7. >Thats a load of shit and you know it.
  8. >You've seen her around, she never socialized and simply ignored everyone
  9. "So what brought this on, I mean I'm flattered but I don't know anything about you"
  10. >Her face fell
  11. >"It's okay, forget I ever said anything"
  12. >She tried to turn and walk away
  13. >You were faster though
  14. >Stopping her you turned her to face you
  15. "I never said no, so how about we both get something to eat and get to know each other"
  16. >She smiled softly at you
  17. >"I'd like that"
  18. >That was how you met her, it was the beginning of a very strange relationship.
  19. >But you wouldn't have it any other way
  20. >Sitting across from Moondancer you smiled at the sheepish mare.
  21. >You had agreed on a date as long as it didn’t involve sitting quietly in the library
  22. >And boy was she nervous, she hid behind her menu and sometimes would peek around it to see if you were still there.
  23. “So have you decided what to get?”
  24. >Deciding to break the silence you watched for her reaction
  25. >Her magic nearly turned the menu into a crumpled ball
  26. >Which would be impressive since it was in a rigid holder
  27. >”Yeah, I think I know”
  28. >Smiling you waved down the waiter
  29. >The smartly dressed stallion trotted over to your table
  30. >”Are you both ready to order?”
  31. >The stallion levitated a small notepad in front of him ready to write
  32. >”We’ll both have the eggplant parmesan”
  33. >You raised an eyebrow at her why would she order for you
  34. >She must have noticed your inquisitive stare because she started muttering faster than you could comprehend
  35. >”And the book said to be confident and order for your stallion..”
  36. >Her face went completely red, you would have laughed
  37. >Not at her but because you guess she was using some book as a guideline for your date
  38. >Turning to the stallion you smiled
  39. “That’s fine with me”
  40. >You waited until the stallion left your table before facing the mare
  41. >Putting on the most serious face you could muster you were going to set down some rules
  42. “Alright Moondancer, were going to set some guidelines for this date”
  43. >She shrank back into her seat
  44. “First, no going by the book. Were here on a date so just be yourself”
  45. “Secondly and most importantly”
  46. >You leaned in closely
  47. “I love eggplant parmesan”
  48. >Moondancer looked like she might faint
  49.  
  50. In a living room sometime in the future
  51.  
  52. “And that’s how my first date with your mother went”
  53. >”So that’s when she threw up on the waiter”
  54. “Well not exactly, she threw up on the floor and accidently tripped him”
  55. “He just ended up falling right into it”
  56. >Your two kids giggled
  57. >”That’s so gross dad”
  58. >You are still the green bipedal lovingly known to the world as Anon
  59. >After your date with Moondancer ended abruptly due what you guessed was a stomach bug you decided to go on another date
  60. >Thinking that maybe the whole go to a restaurant thing was a bit much you simply decided on a picnic in the park
  61. >You had everything ready
  62. >Grabbing the picnic basket and blanket you made your way to the park
  63. >Moondancer was an odd mare
  64. >Not very social and shy, but the type of shy that just made her not want to be around others
  65. >That’s to say she just didn’t like many ponies
  66. >Making your way down the trail you headed to the spot she decided on
  67. >She’s already here
  68. >From where you were walking though it looked like she was talking to someone
  69. >Blasted trees blocked the other pony
  70. >Oh well you’d know soon enough
  71. >”I’m telling you Twilight this is just for me and him”
  72. >”Oh don’t be silly Moondancer, were friends I just want to be sure he doesn’t take advantage of you”
  73. >Walking up to the two mares neither noticed your arrival
  74. >Clearing your throat however got their attention
  75. >”Hi Anon”
  76. >”So, you’re Anon. Moondancer here didn’t tell me you were a cute one”
  77. “Uh yeah, that’s me. So myself and Moondancer here were kind of making this a date so…”
  78. >”Oh just pretend I’m not here”
  79. >You kid of wish you didn’t have to pretend
  80. >Looking over at Moondancer however got you confused
  81. >She was sticking out her chest and a bit of her chest fluff was sticking out of the top of her sweater
  82. >And boy the glare she was throwing her friend wasn’t a joke either
  83. “You alright Moondancer?”
  84. >”Peachy”
  85.  
  86. Future
  87. >”So wait Aunt Twilight crashed yours and moms second date”
  88. >Patting the little filly on the head you smiled
  89. “It was pretty crazy, I’ll tell you what she tried doing to her with the fire ants when she goes to bed”
  90. >The young colt however said something that nearly made you piss yourself
  91. >”Mom always said Auntie Twilight was a bitch”
  92.  
  93. Sometime in the Future
  94. >You are Moondancer, Professor of Applied Magical Theory at Canterlot University
  95. >Currently you were looking down at your two children
  96. “Now both of you I heard your father started telling you how we met and got together”
  97. >”Yeah mom, it was pretty funny. Especially with the barfing on the waiter”
  98. >Tonight you will pay Anon
  99. “Now listen kids, I understand you like your dads stories but remember a very important thing about your dad”
  100. >Both of them leaned in ready to hear this new piece of information
  101. “Sometimes your dad can be a bit of an idiot”
  102. >Turning your head you also mumbled the next part
  103. “And he certainly can’t tell when a mare likes him unless it smack him right in the face”
  104. >The two snickered at that
  105. >Smiling you waved hem off to go and play
  106.  
  107. Blast to the Past and Still Be Dancer of the Moon
  108. >Twilight Sparkle I will put hair remover in your shampoo if you don’t step away from my stallion
  109. >Well technically he’s not your stallion… yet.
  110. >You told Twilight that you liked him and what did it get you
  111. >That hussy tried putting moves on him right in front of you
  112. >She smiled at you while she did it as well
  113. >Game on Twilight, game flippin on
  114.  
  115. Back to being Anon
  116. >Oh look that cloud looks like an ice cream cone
  117. >You should get some ice cream
  118. >With sprinkles, can’t forget the sprinkles
  119.  
  120. >Two Mare's who you thought were friends growled at each other
  121. >Well this escalated quickly
  122. "Girls let's not tear each other apart over a small disagreement"
  123. >Both of them turned their heads and hissed at you like a pair of cats
  124. "Or just go back to what you were doing"
  125. >Sighing you started setting the blanket for the picnic
  126. >Laying out the spread you sat down and continued to watch as the two mares acted like little kids
  127. >Wait, earlier you passed some fillies playing with water guns
  128. >A plan formed in your head
  129. >Walking away neither mare noticed you leaving
  130. >Making your way back down the path you came by earlier it didn't take long to spot the kids
  131. "Hey girls, can I borrow one of those water guns"
  132. >"What's in it for us mister"
  133. >Reaching into your pocket you produced a five bit coin
  134. >"Deal"
  135. >When you got back it had actually gotten worse
  136. >Twilight and Moondancer were wrestling on the ground
  137. >Both were using magic to pull each others manes and tails
  138. >Pumping the water gun you prepared to finish this squabble
  139. >Taking aim you used the water guns entire contents
  140. >Ponies in the city probably heard their screams
  141. >"Anon you jerk"
  142. >Twilight stretched her wings trying to shake the water out of them
  143. "It's just water, but it got you two to stop"
  144. >Both mares lowered their heads embarrassed by the fight
  145. "Twilight, it was nice to meet you but I really wanted to spend some alone time with Moondancer"
  146. >"Yeah I get it, I had Royal duties to attend to anyway"
  147. >She walked over to Moondancer and whispered something before teleporting away
  148. >Hopefully you could salvage what was left of this picnic
  149.  
  150. Be Moondancer
  151. >Your favorite sweater is completely drenched
  152. >Hopefully it didn't shrink from the heat of the outdoors
  153. >This was all Twilights fault
  154. >Oh and speak of the devil
  155. >"You win this one, but I always get what I want once I set my mind to it."
  156. "Go eat hydra dick"
  157. >"Who do you think he'll choose you a recluse or a Princess"
  158. >With that she teleported away
  159. >What a bitch
  160.  
  161. >If you ever had kids this would be tale to tell
  162. >After Twilight left you sat back down on the picnic blanket and sighed
  163. >Soon Moondancer sat across from you with her head down
  164. >”This didn’t go exactly how I thought it would”
  165. >You watched her poke the wet sweater with her hoof
  166. “Yeah sorry for drenching you”
  167. >”It’s fine”
  168. “You should probably take it off and set it over there in the shade so it can dry”
  169. >The moment the suggestion left your mouth her face went completely red.
  170. >Probably embarrassed… wait pony’s are naked all the time so what would taking of a sweater matter.
  171. >”You’re probably right”
  172. >She used magic and levitated the sweater off”
  173. >In the process her glasses got snagged and fell
  174. >Now you felt your face heat up
  175. >Holy crap she was cute, I mean she was cute before but now just…
  176. “Wow”
  177. >”Whhh..what?”
  178. “Your cute without the glasses”
  179. >”Yeah but also practically blind”
  180. >You both chuckled
  181. >Maybe today could be salvaged
  182. “Well I did make some grub for us so why don’t we dig in”
  183.  
  184. Be Futurenon
  185. “That’s probably when your mom fell in love with me”
  186. >”That’s a load of yak crap and you know”
  187. >Your two kids snickered as your wife walked into the den
  188. “Now honey it’s not nice to deny the impassioned feelings you had for me that day”
  189. >”The only feelings I had for you were using a table fan to chop a certain thing off after you destroyed my sweater”
  190.  
  191. Be Moondancer
  192. >The picnic didn’t end to badly after yesterday
  193. >Well you were out a sweater but he did say he would get you a new one
  194. >After you took off your sweater Anon took it over into the shade
  195. >He however failed to notice that he set it on top of a mound of ants
  196. >The ants took your sweater as an act of war and in the twenty or so minutes you both chatted and ate completely decimated it
  197. >Rest in peace my old friend
  198. >Carrying your books you made your way back from the royal library
  199. >The research you were doing into the link between starswirl and discord was actually starting to come together
  200. >With any luck you might finish your dissertation
  201. >”Hello Moondancer”
  202. >Looking around for the source of the voice your eyes fell on the bitc… your friend.
  203. “Hi Twilight, what brings you here today”
  204. >”Oh just some official business, how about you how are your studies coming”
  205. “Really well, thank you”
  206. >Yup just have pleasant conversation so she can go back to her little village
  207. >”I’m just worried about you Moondancer.”
  208. >That statement raised an eyebrow
  209. “How so?”
  210. >”I mean you’ve been here how long and are still a student at the academy”
  211. >Yup going to get the balding shampoo for her tonight
  212. “The researching I’m doing actually requires a lot of searching Twilight”
  213. “You know not everything can just be explained with friendship and rainbows”
  214. >Suck it nerd
  215. >Well you’re a nerd yourself
  216. >But she’s a nerd traitor so it’s worse
  217. >Casting a glance at Twilight you saw she was glaring at you
  218. >One point for Moondancer
  219. “Bye Twilight”
  220.  
  221. >Never once did you consider the fact that by simple going to the top of one of the waterfalls by the castle and dumping a bottle of dish soap into the water you’d cause mass panic
  222. >You learn something new everyday
  223. >For example the cells in the palace are pretty nice
  224. >They even gave you a pudding cup when they brought you here
  225. “Hi Shield”
  226. >”Hi Anon, back again I see. So what was it this time?”
  227. “Inciting mass panic. How’s the wifey?
  228. >”Still nagging me to ask for a promotion”
  229. >You waved goodbye to your friend as he continued his rounds
  230. >Laying back into the cushy mattress your mind went straight to Moondancer
  231. >Ever since her little confession you thought about her a lot
  232. >Heck you even tried toning down some of your usual hijinks.
  233. >”Anon”
  234. >Turning to the cell bars you saw Celestia herself
  235. “Hey Tia, haven’t seen you in a while”
  236. >Giggling she unlocked the door with magic
  237. >”Oh I’m sure, so was your latest attack on boredom just an excuse to see me”
  238. “Nah, but I did miss you though”
  239. >Walking over you gave her a big hug
  240. >Celestia was always going to be the caring big sister to you
  241. >Ever since she found you running naked through the everfree
  242. “So what have you been up to?”
  243. >”Dealing with my little ponies problems, but lets walk and talk. I promised to be present for a lecture at the academy”
  244. “Okay let’s go”
  245. >Grabbing your pudding cup you followed Celestia
  246. Be Moon
  247. >Sitting in the large hall you waited for the lecture to begin.
  248. >The speaker today had unearthed some scrolls that looked like were written by Starswirl the Bearded
  249. >Looking down onto the empty scroll you brought for notes your quill levitated over the parchment
  250. >Wonder what Anon was up to?
  251. >Before you worked the nerve up to confess how you felt his exploits were common knowledge
  252. >Replacing the princesses cakes with paper mache fakes
  253. >Dyeing ponies while they napped in the park
  254. >Why did you like him again?
  255. >His smile? Nah nothing special
  256. >His intelligence? That’s a miss
  257. >So what was it
  258. >What made him special
  259. >Breaking your train of thought you looked down at the parchment
  260. >The word ‘Anon’ was scribbled all over
  261. >Damn
  262. .”All rise for her Highness Princess Celestia”
  263. >Standing up you turned to the door
  264. >There standing in all her regal glory was the Princess
  265. >What in the…
  266. >Next to her was Anon, eating a pudding cup
  267. >Canterlot… tiss a silly place
  268. >So bored
  269. >Fighting to keep your eyes open you watched some old pony continue to drone on about runes and chaos.
  270. >The Princess was seated right next to you. Casually looking at her you saw that she was sitting rigidly still
  271. >You poked her in the withers
  272. >No reaction
  273. >She must be really zoned out
  274. >Not bored anymore
  275. >Grabbing quill you began work on your masterpiece
  276. >It was going to be beautiful
  277.  
  278. Now onto Moondancers panic attack
  279. >What is Anon doing!
  280. >He’s drawing on the Princess
  281. >Where are the guards
  282. >Sliding of your seat you had to started stepping by the ponies in the audience
  283. “Sorry!! Excuse Me, Pardon Me”
  284. >”Hey move your fat flank your blocking my view”
  285. >The glare you gave that stallion instantly shut him up
  286. >Your flanks weren’t that big
  287. >No! Concentrate on saving the Princess
  288. >Rushing down the aisle you ran to the back. The stairs to the balcony with the Princess had to be around here somewhere.
  289. >Seeing two guards standing by a doorway was the giveaway to her location
  290. >The guards instantly readied their spears when they saw you running at them
  291. >You stopped in front of them
  292. “Listen Anon is doing something to the Princess, let me through I have to stop him”
  293. >The two guards scoffed
  294. >”Highly unlikely, Anon is the Princess personal guest and friend. He’d do no such thing”
  295.  
  296. Back to the Green Man
  297. >It was marvelous
  298. >This was your Sistine Chapel
  299. >Time for the world to admire it
  300.  
  301. “Please you have to let me through”
  302. >”Not happening miss”
  303. >That was the moment the doors behind the guards opened
  304. >”All this noise, what seems to be the problem?”
  305. >Oh thank goodness the Princess is fine…
  306. >Grinning like an idiot Anon stood behind her
  307. >”Oh Moondancer its lovely to see you how have you been?”
  308. “Good Princess”
  309. >”Wonderful, I am sorry but I must head back to the castle. But please come by the castle sometime I would love to catch up with you”
  310. “Yes you Highness”
  311. >With that Celestia walked off
  312. >The two guard’s jaws were almost on the floor
  313.  
  314. Be Picasso
  315. >Everyone was amazed by your art
  316. >The mustache and monocle really contrasted well with her white coat
  317. >The single teardrop on her cheek showed her soft side
  318. >”Anon, was that your doing?”
  319. >You faced the guard pony
  320. “Who else would have such artistic talent”
  321. >The two guards looked completely exasperated
  322. >”We’ll be waiting in the dungeon. Your regular cell”
  323. >You were always told that art came at a great cost
  324. >Oh look Moondancer’s here
  325. >Boy does she look pissed
  326. “Hey Moondancer, were you here for the lecture?”
  327. >”I was until you decided to assault the Princess!”
  328. “I didn’t assault her, I simple improved her visage”
  329. >”What did I ever see in you”
  330. “My stunning good looks and great personality?”
  331. >”You look like an over grown frog and have the personality of dragon who’s just been neutered, so that’s probably not it”
  332. >You clutched your chest
  333. “Your words hurt me so”
  334. >”Will they kill you”
  335. “Not really”
  336. >”Too bad”
  337. >Anon left shortly after your exchange
  338. >Apparently his practical jokes were a common occurrence
  339. >They set aside a cell just for him in the dungeons
  340. >God your taste in stallions sucked
  341. >At least he had a sense of humor
  342.  
  343. In the Future (minus the flying cars cause that would just be silly)
  344. >”So they sent you to the dungeon dad?”
  345. “Yeah, but the Princess attended all her meeting sporting my artwork”
  346. >”And nobody said anything?”
  347. “Not really but the gryphon ambassador thought it was war paint and Equestria was declaring war”
  348. >”So how mom didn’t care you got sent to the dungeon?”
  349. >”Oh I cared, but that was before he asked me to the gala”
  350. >Your wife entered the den where you continued the story
  351. “I always knew you liked me only for my connections”
  352. >”It certainly isn’t for your so called artistic ability”
  353. “How about now?”
  354. >”No”
  355. “And now?”
  356. >”For the last time no”
  357. >This is the last time you agree to spend time with your marefriend at the library
  358. >After nearly bringing equestrian to the brink of war again you decided to make it official with Moondancer
  359. >Naturally she was hesitant due to your popularity and supremely good looks
  360. >And here you were trying to get her to unwind and build a book fort
  361. >Walking behind her you began to slowly massage her withers and whisper in her ear
  362. “We could make it a big castle where you could be the princess and I can be the guy jumping on turtles”
  363. >”That doesn’t make any sense”
  364. >You waved your hand dismissively
  365. >”If you’re bored why don’t you grab a book and just join me”
  366. >Her smile was something infectious. Most ponies were amazed that Anon who don’t need no woman was bested by a quiet introverted mare
  367. “Okay”
  368. >Books… and books, oh look more books
  369. >You walked through the aisle’s looking at the titles
  370. >Bingo
  371. >Bringing the book with you sat next to Moondancer and scooted your seat closer to her
  372. >”Find something interesting”
  373. “Yuppers”
  374. >You held up the book
  375. >Moondancer adjusted her glasses as she read the title
  376. >”Dynamite and you: A step by step guide to not blasting your hooves off”
  377. >Books are great
  378. >”Put it back”
  379. “But..”
  380. >”No buts”
  381. “Even yours?”
  382. >”Ye… shut up, just find a book that won’t cause millions of bits of damage”
  383. “Fine”
  384. >Standing up you made your way back into the jungle of books.
  385. >Man this place was big
  386.  
  387. High Above in an alcove
  388. >So she restricts his reading, how horrible
  389. >Moondancer was definitely not marefriend material if she was limiting his learning potential
  390. “Soon Anon, I’ll help you break free from her oppressive clutches”
  391. >Oh Look he’s wandering off all alone
  392. >You should go help him, it’s what a responsible Princess would do
  393.  
  394. >So many books
  395. >Grabbing a random book of the shelve you read the title
  396. “Pony Sutra”
  397. >Back on the shelf it goes
  398. >If she caught you reading that she might kick your shin again
  399. >”If you’re curious Anon, most of the positions in the book can be pleasing to both a human and pony”
  400. >You know that voice
  401. >Looking behind you, your eyes fell on the Princess of Friendship
  402. “Hi Twilight, how have you been?”
  403. >”Good, but even better now”
  404.  
  405. >Anon’s been gone for a while
  406. >He should have been back by now
  407. >Sighing you got up
  408. >More than likely he’s gotten lost in the various bookshelves that littered the royal library
  409. >A few minutes of searching you finally found your coltfriend
  410. >But that’s not all you found
  411. “Hello Twilight, what brings you back to Canterlot?”
  412. >She looked like you just interrupted her private dance at the Colt Club
  413. >”Oh visiting some friends”
  414. “That’s nice, me and Anon were just leaving”
  415. >You started pushing Anon away from this hussy with your magic
  416. >Unfortunately he stopped
  417. >Looking for the reason, you noticed a purple arua stopping Anon as well
  418. >”Moondancer, why don’t you ask Anon what we were discussing”
  419. >Looking at him you raised an eyebrow
  420. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense”
  421. >”Twilights invited us to dinner at the castle”
  422. >Cheeky mare, that’s okay two can play at this game
  423. “Isn’t that sweet, of course we’ll come”
  424. >Twilight looked confused at your sudden change
  425. “Won’t we sweetie”
  426. >You motioned for Anon to lean down with your hoof
  427. >The second he did your lips were on his
  428. >This was nice, note to self: Conduct an experiment with Anon when you get home
  429. >Breaking the kiss you looked to Twilight
  430. “Send me the specifics and we’ll put something together”
  431. >With that you and Anon left
  432.  
  433. In the Future
  434. >”So mom just kissed you in the middle of the library”
  435. “Of course, it’s pretty hard for her to resist all this”
  436. >”Knock it off dad”
  437. >”Sweetie, should I tell them about what happened at your bachelor party”
  438. “Hey they couldn’t prove it was me”
  439. >”The giant spray painted ‘Anon was here’ on the side of the castle says otherwise”
  440. “Circumstantial at best”
  441. >”what about the unconscious dragon and Shining in a mare’s dress”
  442. “He said he was curious”
  443.  
  444. >This was some good pot pie
  445. >You contemplated between this or some mushroom pasta
  446. >But they got the crust just right
  447. >Oh yeah check on the marefriend
  448. >Good she hasn't killed Twilight yet
  449. >The two mares were throwing tables, chair, and is that... yup that was the maitre'd using their magic
  450. >How did it start well...
  451.  
  452. 25 Minutes Ago
  453. >"You know Moondancer, you could have passed on wearing that sweater"
  454. >"I happen to like this sweater"
  455. The two mares traded insults as you screened the menu
  456. >"I told you this place wasn't the casual attire sort"
  457. >Oh look they have cheesecake, definitely getting that for dessert
  458. >"If we ever get together again just leave that ratty thing at home"
  459. >"What makes you think there'll be a next time!"
  460. >Oh look a flying chair
  461.  
  462. Back to the Fight
  463. >Twilight was an alicorn abomination so naturally she had more magic, but Moondancer made up for it with her precise control
  464. >That waiter she just threw, bam he went right through the picture frame
  465. >That accuracy was perfect
  466. >Wait, if they're fighting that means
  467. >Cheesecake here I come
  468.  
  469. Be Moondancer
  470. >All right Twilight this ends here and now
  471. "You still don't get it do you Twilight"
  472. >"What your horrible fashion choices"
  473. "Nice deflection but no, Anon is my coltfriend and were happy"
  474. "Why can't you just leave it at that"
  475. >"Because he deserves better"
  476. "Better, do you mean yourself"
  477. >"Who better than a princess"
  478. "How about someone who actually cares about him"
  479. >That shut her up
  480. >Looking around at the wreckage it was as if a light turned on in your head
  481. "Take a look Twilight, is this what you want our friendship to be about"
  482. >You gestured to the ponies who were cowering behind broken tables and chairs
  483. >"No"
  484. >Twilight, the Princess of Friendship and Magic looked defeated
  485. >It only made you feel worse
  486. >"But I still care for him"
  487. >And so did you
  488. >You hugged Twilight
  489. >The animosity between you was gone but the problem remained
  490. >Twilight was crying now as you hugged her
  491. >This whole thing had gone way too long
  492. >Resigning yourself you made a hard choice
  493. >You wanted to see your friend happy
  494. "Anon, where'd you go"
  495. >"I'm here, you girls done fighting?"
  496. "Yeah"
  497. >You smiled at Twilight
  498. >"That's good"
  499. "Yeah, I'm breaking up with you"
  500.  
  501. >"Wait so mom broke up with you?"
  502. "She did, left me there in the restaurant with your Aunt"
  503. >"Then what happened then"
  504. >"Then the two children got ready for bed because they have school in the morning"
  505. >Your wife walked in and gave the kids a stern gaze
  506. "I'll tell you what happens tomorrow, now off to bed with the both of you"
  507. >The two scampered off
  508. >"I'm surprised you didn't tell them the names I called you"
  509. "They don't need to know hat stuff"
  510. >Moondancer jumped into your lap and leaned against your chest
  511. >"You never did tell me what you did after our breakup"
  512. "Never will"
  513.  
  514. >”Anon answer the door!”
  515. >”We’ll give you to the count of five, then were breaking the door down”
  516. >”Don’t blame us for this”
  517. >And just like that three stallions proceeded to remove the door from the hinges.
  518. >”You know you could have just unlocked it”
  519. >”Dramatic affect my friend”
  520. >The three entered the abode of the infamous human Anonymous
  521. >Among them were Bronze Shield, followed Chain Mail and Prince Blueblood
  522. >”So he holed himself up like this after the mare left him”
  523. >Blueblood always cut to the chase when it came to mares
  524. >”Uh-huh word from a the guard at the library is She and the Princess got into a fight and then she broke up with him”
  525. >”Wait did he cheat on her or something with the Princess”
  526. “No I didn’t, she decided that our relationship wasn’t worth the effort so she kicked me to the curb”
  527. >Standing there in all your glory you let the three come up with a good reason for breaking into your place
  528. >”Anon, we were getting worried about you”
  529. >Looking past them you saw your front door leaning against the wall
  530. “You guys are going to fix that before you leave”
  531. >”Blueblood could you?”
  532. >”Oh sure leave to the stallion who has the most insight on Anon’s current situation”
  533. >”The only reason you have more ‘insight’ is because you’ve dated most of the mares in Canterlot, and most of them broke up with your dumb butt”
  534. >When the three looked back you were gone
  535. “Kitchen guys”
  536.  
  537. >Coffee, you needed coffee
  538. >After a minute or so the three joined you
  539. >After Moondancer broke up with you, you holed yourself up in your place.
  540. >To be honest it hit you pretty badly
  541. >Your past relationships on earth lasted longer and didn’t hurt this bad
  542. >”Anon were all worried” Bronze walked over and gave you a hug
  543. >He was a hugging type
  544. “I appreciate this, I really do guys but for the first time I was in a happy relationship”
  545. >Taking a sip of the sweet dark nectar you continued
  546. “For humans when we get our hearts bucked into the brick wall, we just want to be alone”
  547. >”It’s not healthy Anon, in times like these you need your friends”
  548. >Smiling you encircled the three in a massive hug
  549. “Thanks guys, really for being here for me”
  550. >The four of you spent time together for the rest of the morning.
  551. >At about lunch time however they had to leave
  552. >”You sure you don’t want to come with us for Lunch?”
  553. “No its ok”
  554. >With that Bronze and Chain left, Blueblood however stayed behind
  555. “Need something Blue?”
  556. >”I know I’m not the pony most come to for relationship advice”
  557. >”But listen to me this time Anon, it wasn’t you that made her leave. She’s a grown mare, she made the choice”
  558. >”So stop beating yourself up over it”
  559. “So how come it feels like I got kicked in the stomach”
  560. >”That means you really cared for her”
  561. >”You’ve been in Equestria for how long now Anon?”
  562. “A while I guess”
  563. >”And even I know you spent almost all your time here in Canterlot”
  564. >”So my advice to you is go out and see the what else is out there in the world”
  565. >”It won’t make the pain disappear, but it might help”
  566. >You watched the young prince walk out after his talk
  567. >He was right, his moping about wasn’t you
  568. >You wanted to live life, not hide away from it
  569. >Walking over to the mirror in the hallway you stared at yourself
  570. “I look like shit”
  571. >First a shower, second we pack.
  572. >Time for the rest of equestria to meet Anon the Human
  573.  
  574. >And don’t forget the underwear
  575. >Packed in your backpack were all the things you needed for your trip
  576. >You were going to take Bluebloods advice and go out there and see the world
  577. >Grabbing your pack you made your way to the front door
  578. >Turning back you looked at the place
  579. >Your resolve to do this only grew bigger
  580. >Locking the front door you made your way to the train station
  581. >A brief walk later and the towering sign greeted you
  582. >This was it, a new start
  583. >Wonder what Moondancer is doing right now?
  584. >Shut up brain, were trying to get over her remember
  585. >Eh fuck you buddy!
  586. >Okay arguing with yourself was never going to get you anywhere
  587. >Approaching the ticket booth you contemplated on where to go
  588. >”Can I help you”
  589. >The mare stared inquisitively at you
  590. “What’s the farthest stop from here?”
  591. >The mare turned to the map located on the wall in her sales cubicle
  592. >”That’d have to be Appleoosa”
  593. “One ticket please”
  594. >”That will be 10 bits”
  595. >Exchanging the money for the ticket you went to the loading area to wait for the train to arrive
  596.  
  597. Meanwhile at the Castle
  598. >It’s been a few days since the incident
  599. >I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, here they are just standing in a row!”
  600. “Blueblood what in Celestia’s name are you singing”
  601. >Approaching the Prince you quirked an eyebrow at his odd behavior
  602. >”I’m just in a good mood Twilight”
  603. “I can tell”
  604. >”Did you hear, Anon took my advice”
  605. “Your advice, what is he on his way to sleeping with all the mares in the kingdom”
  606. >”Nope, he’s leaving to get away from this place”
  607. >What?
  608. >Oh no!
  609. “What do you mean he’s leaving, when?”
  610. >You snatched the prince by his vest and pulled him up to you
  611. >”Last I heard he was leaving today”
  612. >No, no no no, you had to stop this
  613. >This whole thing was your fault, Moondancer was already a wreck and if she heard Anon left
  614. >You had to stop him
  615.  
  616. >You teleported to the train station
  617. >Looking around you saw a conductor trotting over to the train
  618. “You wait right there”
  619. >The moment he saw you he bowed
  620. >”Your highness how can I help”
  621. “This train, there’s a human aboard. I need to speak with him at once”
  622. >”Do you mean Anon”
  623. “Yes, have you seen him. Which carriage is he in?”
  624. >”Princess, he got on a train bound for Appleoosa over an hour ago”
  625. >Anon was gone
  626. >Today was going to be a really shit day
  627.  
  628. “Moondancer where are you?”
  629. >Walking into the marecave you squinted your eyes.
  630. >It’s dark in here, and oh my Celestia what is that smell!
  631. >The news of Anon leaving hit her pretty hard.
  632. >Walking around the place you saw half eaten containers of chineighs food.
  633. >Stacked pizza boxes.
  634. >In the middle of all the chaos was a pile of books
  635. “Moondancer, I know you’re here”
  636. >Several of the books shifted.
  637. >So hiding in the pile.
  638. “Moondancer, wallowing here isn’t going to bring him back”
  639. >”Just leave me alone Twilight. I drove him away”
  640. “You did, but there’s no point in crying about it”
  641. >”I messed up so bad, I thought everything would go back to being like before”
  642. >Using your magic you floated the pile up
  643. >There she is
  644. >The large bags under her eyes signaled her lack of sleep.
  645. >Add the dishelved mane and a sweater stained with Luna knows what
  646. “You have to pull yourself together, acting like this won’t bring him back”
  647. >”And neither will anything else I do”
  648. >Seriously way too much drama with this mare
  649. >But she is your friend and you were also responsible or her current state
  650. “Listen buck up, you still have to finish your study and right now with both our brains put together we can finish it in no time at all”
  651.  
  652. >Time flies when you’re not having fun
  653. >It’s been months since you last saw the lone human
  654. >Stories made their way to canterlot of his antics
  655. >He apparently stopped some sludge monsters from destroying the crystal empire
  656. >Created a truce with the changelings after figuring out their weakness
  657. >You missed him
  658. >Bows not the time to reminisce though
  659. >”You memorized all your cards Moonie”
  660. “Yes Mom, don’t worry it’s not my first presentation”
  661. >The sarcasm directed at Twilight only caused you to smile
  662. >”Good, cause if you embarrass me it’s straight to the moon”
  663. “Oh hardy har har”
  664. >If not for Twilight you don’t think you’d have ever left your place
  665. >She pushed you to finish your study of Starswirl
  666. >Tonight you were going to see the result of that hard work
  667.  
  668. Be the Green Guy
  669. >Cob webs, your place looked like the inside of a Halloween house
  670. >Seriously after a few months it shouldn’t look like this
  671. >Walking through the apartment you came up to the kitchen table
  672. >On it was some mail
  673. >Even in another world bills will find you
  674. >Skimming through you found a lone letter that simply just had ‘Anon’ on it
  675. >Opening it you read the flyer
  676. “The Royal Academy of Canterlot humbly invites you the a Lecture on blah blah magic stuff blah”
  677. >Who in their right mind would ever think that you’d care about this
  678. >Then you read the last line
  679. >Presented by Moondancer
  680. >Shit hopefully you still had a clean suit upstairs
  681.  
  682. >Breath in and out
  683. >”You did this to me you bastard”
  684. >Oh dear God, save me please
  685. >”Moondancer we need you to push”
  686. >’Ahhhhhhhh!!”
  687. >Why couldn’t they let you just stay outside, you weren’t good at this stuff
  688. >”Get your butt over here Anon”
  689. >She shouted at you through gritted teeth
  690. >Ok don’t show weakness, she can sense fear
  691. >Putting your hand on her hoof, she jerked it back and slammed it down on top of your hand
  692. >Don’t scream, holy shit that hurts.
  693. >Good thing you’re at the hospital they can put the cast on the moment she’s done breaking the bones
  694. >Snap!
  695. >There goes your bowling career
  696. >”Keep pushing Moondancer he’s almost out”
  697. >You heard a newborn’s cry right before you passed out
  698.  
  699. In the Future
  700. >”Dad you were telling us about how you and mom got back together”
  701. “Oh come on isn’t it better to find out how you came to be?”
  702. “You see me and your mom shared a bottle of wine on this seclude beach in Applepolco”
  703. >”Too much info dad!”
  704. “She was wearing this nice swimsuit”
  705. >With that the kids ran off
  706. >That’s what they get for interrupting your story
  707.  
  708. >Black suit, white shirt, and a red tie.
  709. >Damn you looked good
  710. >Grabbing the flyer you left your place
  711. >You were going to see her tonight, with any luck maybe even talk to her
  712. >Time to grow a pair and do this
  713.  
  714. 2 Hours Later
  715. >The lecture hall was gigantic
  716. >The first two speakers droned on more than your old history teachers in high school
  717. >Only difference is there you had a cell phone to amuse yourself with
  718. >”And now Miss Moondancer with her Lecture on Starswirl the Bearded and his link to Chaos magic”
  719. >What you heard “Moondancer talking about a dude with a big bears’
  720. >And there she was
  721. >She opted for not wearing the sweater
  722. >Hair down
  723. >She was beautiful before, but now. Restraint Anon, no need to turn into a creeper on your first day back
  724. >She began talking
  725. >Would she even remember you, what if she had met someone new
  726. >Damn it stop being such a pansy
  727.  
  728. Be Moondancer
  729. >You rehearsed this so many times that doing it now was next to nothing
  730. >Look at the audience
  731. >Smile
  732. >If everything went well, you’d get the support and become recognized expert in the field
  733. >Your eyes however snapped back to the center
  734. >There in the middle
  735. >Much larger than any of the ponies that surrounded him
  736. >He was back
  737.  
  738. >Waiting patiently was never your strong suit
  739. >The crowd of ponies surrounded the presenter and kept them trapped with their constant questions
  740. >Come on you just wanted to talk to one mare is that so much to ask?
  741. >But for her you would be patient
  742. >Walking over to the refreshment table you poured yourself some punch
  743. >Sniffing to ensure that nobody spiked it you took a sip
  744. >You had to be careful
  745. >At a party you saw a stallion throw a salt lick into a punch
  746. >Shit went down
  747. >”Mind pouring me one”
  748. >Looking at the new arrival you were greeted with Twilights smiling face
  749. “Haven’t seen you in a while, how have you been Twilly”
  750. >”Only you and my brother call me that, but I’ve been good”
  751. >You cast a glance back at the crowd to see if an opening appeared
  752. >A gesture that wasn’t lost on Twilight
  753. >”You know she really missed you”
  754. “Was that after she kicked me to the curb or after I left?”
  755. >”Don’t be a ass Anon, I’m not defending what she did”
  756. >”But she still cares for you”
  757. >You saw an opening
  758.  
  759. >Walking over to an unsuspecting Moondancer you thought hard about what you were going to say
  760. >Hopefully you didn’t screw this up, you couldn’t screw this up
  761. >”Miss Moondancer what led you to believe that the records on Starswirls research would be located in a flask”
  762. “Cause she took a look at his writing, after a particularly long scroll the writing always started looking like he had one too many”
  763. >Your sudden appearance in the circle of ponies was met with laughter
  764. >”So it looks like you actually paid attention for once”
  765. “Ouch, you know I always paid attention to you”
  766. >The circle of ponies left you two alone after a minute or so
  767. “How have you been Moonie”
  768. >”Moonie? You’re giving me nickname’s now.”
  769. “Good a time as any”
  770. >”You know I missed you”
  771. “Let’s take this somewhere a little more private”
  772. >You motioned back to the now empty lecture hall
  773.  
  774. >Sitting with her in the front row neither of you spoke a word
  775. >”Did you leave because of me?”
  776. >Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper
  777. >Smiling to yourself you recalled the first few days of your impromptu adventure
  778. “I left for myself Moondancer”
  779. >”Oh”
  780. >And back to silence
  781. >”I still like you, you big idiot”
  782. >And there it is, the little confirmation that made your heart skip a beat
  783. “I never stopped liking you”
  784. >Holy crap you were two adults acting liking two grade-schooler’s
  785. >”Will you two just kiss already” A voice resembling Twilights screamed from behind the curtains on the stage
  786. “So want to give ‘us’ another shot”
  787. >”I’ve made worse decisions in my life”
  788. >With that you kissed the mare
  789.  
  790. In the future
  791. >”So that’s it dad? No epic fight to win moms heart”
  792. “Nope, see the thing was I never stopped loving your mom”
  793. >”And I, despite my brain telling me not to still loved this big oaf as well”
  794. >Smiling at your mare that had your heart for all these years you brought her into a hug
  795. >”But wait, what about the sludge monsters and the changelings?”
  796. “That’s a story for another night. Now off to bed”
  797. >You hurried your kids off
  798. >You felt Moondancer press against you as you stood
  799. >”You know I love you right”
  800. >Kneeling down so you were eye level you pressed your forehead against hers
  801. >Her large eyebrows tickling your brow you smiled
  802. “And you know I love you too”
  803. >This was your life
  804. >You went from a normal human on earth
  805. >To a man with a beautiful wife and two wonderful kids
  806. >Maybe tonight you’d start working on a third
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