Humans: The Bipedal Menace

As the credits faded out, Frisk noticed that Alphys was gently snoring.

They got up to take the tape out of the player. But instead of static, a new title card appeared. On it was a crudely drawn stick figure with pink hair and cat ears. Next to it, the text "Humans: The Bipedal Menace".

Intrigued, Frisk sat back down again.

A wild, dangerous-sounding tune was played on a piano. When it reached its climax, what was unmistakably Undyne's voice said "Humans. The bipedal menace!"

A yellow hand pulled away the title card. The camera refocused on the room behind it. Undyne was sitting at a piano on the right, wearing armor. Gerson was nodding off in a chair to the left. In the center hung a long piece of cloth with a printed image of Mew Mew.

Undyne got up to stand next to the print, looking back and forth to make sure she wasn't blocking the view. "Humans!" she said. "We've all heard of them. But are you prepared to face one? My name is Undyne, and I am here to teach you the facts."

She gestured at the pillowcase. "This here is a human from the surface, well-documented in their history! She can control people's minds. Therefore, it is important to avoid physical contact! And if anyone you know is a human sympathizer, you should report them to the Royal Guard, because they're probably mind-controlled!"

She walked over to Gerson. "This is Gerson. He encountered humans, before the war, and he knows how to deal with them." She shook his arm until he woke up. "Can you tell us about human misdeeds?"

Gerson scraped his throat. "Well, lessee. Back in the day, when King Asgore was just a lad, he had a bit of a scuffle with one of the humans from the valley. I think they were called Veert, or Vuurt, or something. What happened was that they had taken something that belonged to Asgore, an' Asgore went to get it back, but they didn't want to give it up. Well, you know Asgore, he would never throw the first punch, but it turned into a fight and I had to break it up."

Undyne nodded approvingly. "And then you smote the human?"

"Heavens, no. It was just about an apple or something. Both of them were, what, eight years old? Something like that."

Undyne paused for a moment, struggling to integrate the new information.

She came to a resolution. "Well, there you have it! It's in humans' nature to be aggressors. They can under no circumstances be trusted."

"Luckily, the Royal Guard is here to protect you!" She pointed at the camera. "And you can learn how to fight humans too! The Royal Guard is always looking for recruits."

The video zoomed in on her face, then abruptly cut to static.

Frisk quietly rewound the tape.