Jealous Big Mac

>Be Anon
>Never went to a gym before
>Whynotstartwithaponygym?
>There aren't any weights made for human hands.
>I'll just use the treadmill, I guess.
>Start going at it, start working up a sweat right away
>Feel really out of shape.
>Ponies are looking at you weird
>Did you get mayonnaise on your (neck)beard?
>Crowd starts to gather
>embarrassed as fuck
>Across the gym, Big Mac gives you dagger eyes.
>Didn't think you'd fuck up this badly on your first day at the gym
>tfw you don't know what you did wrong.
>Start running faster on the treadmill, like you're trying to get away.
>See Big Mac looking at you and running - like he's chasing you in place.
>Intimidated as fuck. Run Faster.
>Mares still looking at Anon like he committed murder.
>Sweat glistening.
>Muscles pumping.
>So much wrong.
>Finishing up, still feel eyes burning the back of my head from Big Mac's way
>Hear audible disappointment .
>Ohgodtheywantedmetofall.

>Be Big Mac
>Who does Anon think he is?
>Anon has been trouble ever since he came to Equestria.
>Jealous that mares always flock to Anon
>See Anon leave finally
>Mares follow
>Alone in the gym
>Even Bulge Bicep followed.
Next Day
>See Anon
>Sees me, and starts approaching me
>Celestia damn it
>"Hey Big Mac, are you okay?"
Nope
>"Oh, is it because of what happened yesterday at the gym?"
Yep
>Anon looks at the ground, "What did I do?"
>Say nothing
>Walk away slowly, muzzle high.
>Go home
>Work
>AJ comes home
>Starts talking to me about Anon
>Not you, too, sis.
>Brings up the encounter I had with Anon earlier today.
>She asked why I didn't like Anon
>Tell her he's an affront to all that Celestia has given us
>And he's buff as fuck
>Leave out last part
>Tell her he's a product of Discord. Who else could make such an anomaly?
>Argue more.
>Storm off.

>Be Anon again
>Big Mac just stormed off
>You want to make it up to him
>You think about getting him cake
>He apparently likes going to the gym, though.
>Maybe something from Earth?
>Think for awhile
>Look up
>See AJ with Sunbutt coming your way.
>"Could you please help Big Mac understand he's no a freak of nature?"
>Celestia looks you over.
>Get really uncomfortable.
>cringe
>Get little nervous chub.
>Fuck my life.
>Get a little "Oh my" from the Princess
>Kill me now.
>"Well, Anon, you're certainly not a freak of nature.... unless you want to be one~"
>Something about the way she said that...
Why would I want to be one? I just want Big Mac to not be mad at me.
>"I think Big Mac is just jealous because you're all soft and... new here and you're getting a lot of ...umf... attention."
>Is she getting sick? She's sweating and (coughing, I think?) alot.
>Do Gods get sick? I guess they must. Discord was sick once after all.

>Be Applejack
>I knew there was something he wasn't telling me.
>Go back Home
>Night time. Stars are out. Chickens cluck softly as they dream in their nest boxes. Moon makes Moon makes sure it's not too dark, shadows are really long, though.
>Don't think Big Mac is home yet from his little dramatic exiting earlier.
>Go in to his room
>Find pictures on his beds
>They're of Anon
>All topless
>Oh lordy, is it getting hot in here?
>Hear the door close right behind you
>Shit.
>"What are you doing in my room?" He sounds confused.
>Show him the pictures.
Do you want to talk about something, Big Mac?
>Big Mac got redder, if that was possible.
>"Anon is so popular, I just... I want to know how he does it. Those are for... research. Yeah."
>Not buying it entirely.
>Let that go for now.
Why did you call him unnatural then?
>"What else could I say to you, sis? I know it sounds petty."
>Mull it over in your mind
>Tell him she won't tell anyone.
>Try and be a good sister, say you'll support Big Mac.
>Afterall, it seems that the harder Big Mac works, the harder Anon works.
>Who doesn't want those muscular upper body appendages wrapped around them?
>Who doesn't want them bigger?

>Back to Anon
>Why is Sunbutt in Ponyville anyways? Shouldn't she be in Canterlot?
>Ask her
>Says she snuck in to town to visit Twilight to make sure she's settling in to her new palace.
>Oh yeah, that's a thing.
>Celestia is looking at me weird. She bites her lip.
>Did I get Mayonnaise on my beard again?
>Didn't think it was that funny
>She's fancy, though.
>Need to stop eating sandwiches with extra mayo.
>Tell Sunbutt goodnight.
>Go home
Next Day
>Try and find something clean
>Muscles are sore
>Should've stretched before exercising
>Stretch before going out, maybe it will help
>It didn't.
>Go to work 9-5 at the bazaar
>Professional sign waver for AJ's apple stall
>Shit job, better than nothing.
>Talk to AJ before starting
>AJ says she appreciates the help, says she could use my help on something else today.
>Windmill broke down at Sweet Apple Acres, needs somepony to work the hand crank.
>Not a pony
>Accept anyways, beats looking like an ass all day.
>Head over to the farm with AJ
>She says it's going to be a slow day, anyways, and thinks I need supervision so I don't slack off
I wasn't going to slack off, Applejack
>Yes I was
>"Don't matter, that crank can be a might tricky, if I didn't look after ya and somethin' happen, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night."
>Thanksfortheconcern.jpg

>Still Anon
>Working the handcrank ain't so bad.
>Why do ponies have a hand crank?
>Remember minotaurs are a thing
>Maybe they're borrowing it.
>Ask what the machine is and why it's so resistant
>She explains she's processing plants in to fibers to make cloth
>Ponysarenakedthough.
>She says it gets sold in bolts, usually for bedding, banners, and the minute amounts of pony wear.
>Makes sense
>Big Mac comes out
>Oh shit
>Keep working, trying to avert your eyes from his gaze
>He's just talking about harvesting apples
>You can feel his eyes look you up and down
>Oh god, he's assessing if I'm a threat right now!
>Ocular patdown!
>Look meek, just work harder
>Feel his eyes a little while longer
>"Anon."
>Shit
Yeah, Big Mac?
>"I'm sorry about the other day, I don't know what got in to me. Would you like to come inside for some pie after you're done?"
Uh sure, Big Mac.
>Guess it was in my head.
>Finish up
>Go inside for a break. Applejack says she has more chores later for me.
>Nearing the house, can already smell the pie as it cools on the window sill
>Go inside, Big Mac offers a seat.
>He cuts it, offers me a big slice.
>Guess it's his way of saying sorry
>It's some really fucking good pie, I tell you. The apples are mushy enough to not have any sort of crunch, but still hold form. It tastes as well as it smells with a hint of cinnamon and... something I can't put my finger on.
>Finish my piece
>Lean back in my chair, arms behind my head
>No wonder they call it comfort food, getting a little sleepy
>Think I'll just... *yawn* ... have a rest.

>Be Big Mac
>Anon is asleep
>Drag him in to your room
>Take off his shirt
>Start measuring his muscles
>Take pictures
>Your hypothesis seems to be correct, Anon's muscle mass is growing at an alarming rate.
>Won't jump to conclusions as to why or how yet.
>Start forming hypotheses, though.
>Sis walks in
>God damn it
>"What in tarnation are you doing?"
>Startled, with a stutter I say:
"Uh, Research."
>She's getting sick of my shit
>She doesn't say anything other than that, though.
>She's busy looking at Anon
>Creep out of the room.
----
>Be Anon
>You hear the door close as Big Mac
>See Applejack
>Look down, shirt is missing
>Ask her why
>She explains that Big Mac offered his bed to sleep in and you didn't want to get it dirty with your shirt
>Makes sense I guess?
>Don't remember that, though.
>Chalk it up to sleepiness
>Put shirt back on
>She must have been working hard out there without me, she's out of breath and some sweat seems to have dripped to the floor.

>Be Big Mac again
>Go over to Twilight's house with your findings
>She likes books and stuff, I'm mildly familiar with the concept. Maybe she can help
>Show her pictures and measurement data
>Calls me weird
>At that moment, gets a letter from Celestia asking the brawniest pones of ponyville and Anon to come to Canterlot for a competition.
>On the list of brawny pones as well.
>She comments on the oddness of the coincidence.
>See this as a chance to break the spell Anon has on the mares by out doing him in front of everyone.
>Go home and train.
---
>Be anon once more
>Finish up working at Sweet Apple Acres
>4ish in the aftrnoon
>Start heading home
>On the way, feel like I'm being watched
>Look back every now and again, seeing darts of yellow
>Must be a bird.

>Be Fluttershy
>Don't go in to town as much as the next pony
>Prefer being with forest creatures
>Your friend Anon walks by the clearing where you were trying to teach chicks to fly by not throwing them out of their nests.
>Something is kind of off about him, though
>In the best sort of way
>He must not have noticed you
>Asks birds to go home to their moms for now
>Follow Anon
>Stare at Anon's haunches far longer than you admit
>He's turning back!
>Dart in to a bush.
>He's looking in your general direction!
>Heart beats fast in your chest.
>It's just Anon, why are you hiding?
>Shuffle out of the bush in to Anon's line of sight
>Head down, mane covering as much of your face as it can.
>"Oh, Fluttershy! I thought you were a bird. Need something?"
>Squeal something unintelligible
>Anon stares at you uncomfortably long. All of one and a half seconds.
>"...Okay, well, are you heading this way? I don't mind walking together."
>Squeal something again
>Catch up to him and walk slightly behind him
>Get a nice view of the ground, try to steal glances upwards every now and again.
>Anon always seems to be looking at those times
>Not actually heading this way. Too embarrassed to run away, though.
>Eventually get clear of the forest, town is in sight over the next hill.
>Anon broke the silence
>"So what brings you to town?"
>Manage the words:
"P-pinkie Pie."
>Don't know what else to say
>He says he'd join me, but he had enough sweets for today. Big Mac was kind of enough to offer some pie.
>Somewhat relieved
>Eventually get to our separating point.
>Even after Anon leaves, hooves sweat and shake.
>Head to Pinkie Pie's instead of going home as planned. Need to talk out what just happened and there is no one more enthusiastic about my little happenings than Pinkie Pie.

>Still Fluttershy
>Head over to Pinkie Pies after the most embarrassing walk in recent memory.
>See that she's talking with Rarity and Rainbow Dash
>Getting closer, hear that it's some sort of party for Anon - a monthiversity party for when Anon arrived in Ponyville.
>Tell them something is going on with Anon
>They say they've noticed he was looking a bit off recently.
>Decide to go talk to him
>Walk behind everypony else. Don't want to be seen by anyone approaching.
>Sun is starting to dip slightly in to the horizon when we get there.
>We knock
>Anon opens the door wide open, he has a book in his hand.
>Not sure what it says, it's in the same weird writing Anon used when he first got here.
>"Hey girls, what brings you here?"
>Look down at the ground
>The silence is palpable
>Is this what forever feels like?
>Rainbow Dash breaks the silence, "Uh, hi big guy, we were just seeing if you wanted some uhh..." She trails off.
>Rarity next, "Y'know some of that stuff you like!"
>"Huuuuge!" erupts Pinkie Pie
>Just, fucking.
>"Oh, jeez, you guys. I ...ummm..."
>He yells inside, "Big Mac, is it that bad, really?"
>"Eeyup."
>"I didn't think it was that noticeable. I've tried covering up with a bandage, but it won't stay."
>Dare to look up
>Anon has a bee sting on his forehead.

>Be Big Mac
>Anon is saying goodbye to the girls
>Came over to invite him to the Brawny Pony Competition
>Got stuck listening to his shit about the other world.
>Oh god, there is an entire world of Anons?
>He keeps talking about a magical device that can give you clairvoyance and clairaudience, gather information, communicate, and something about cats.
>Soundsevil.jpg
>He pulled a book from his shelf
>Mildly familiar with books, never seen one with letters like this
>He explains it's about a man from his past that travels to a red planet, fights aliens of varying colors, and in his words "Generally be a badass."
>No ponies or pictures, would not read.
>Getting tired of Anon's shit
>Finally say what I came to say.
Anon, Celestia wants you, me, and a few others to participate in a little friendly competition
>He puts down the book, "What about?"
Not sure what the events are in detail, but it's a strongpony competition.
>"Oh, but I'm no strongman/ strongpony."
Tell that to Celestia. Hey, it may be fun!
>Just accept so I can destroy your public image.
>"Uhh, alright then. I suppose I could participate. I'd have to talk to AJ first about not having to work that day."
>Shouldn't be a problem. If she wasn't already attending, she'll go because anon is participating.

>Be Anon
>Just invited to strongman competition.
>Don't know how to train properly for something like this
>Know who does? Rainbow Dash
>More endurance and speed than strength sort of Athelete.
>Same principles, right?
>Right?
>Getting dark, though. Might as well turn in.
>Go upstairs to apply personal hygiene checks.
>Pinkie Pie is in the bathroom looking in the mirror
>Just going to note, pony toilets look weird.
>Can't really say I'm surprised she's there, it's Pinkie. She just kind of shows up. You get used to it.
What are you doing, Pinkie?
>"Making funny faces while waiting for you."
Why are you waiting for me?
>"Well, I wasn't going to at first, but Rainbow Dash and Rarity asked me to apologize for what I said earlier, which I don't understand, I was only saying what I saw."
... Oh. Okay. Thanks.
>Not sure what to do.
Would you like some pie? Big Mac brought some over
>"Ooo! I love pie!"
>Go downstairs with her bouncy self
>Serve her some pie
>It's gone by the time I return from putting it back in the icebox.
>Pinkie is passed out on the couch
>Doesn't question Pinkie logic
>Cover her with blanket
>Go upstairs, do shit, go to sleep.

>Be Anon
>Wake up to a bright new day
>Knock on the door
>Come downstairs to find Pinkie Pie has made a cocoon for herself
>Open the door to see Applejack with a stifled grin on her face.
>"Hey there sugar-cube, Big Mac tells me you were invited to the strongpony competition up in Canterlot."
Yep, I was just going to go look for you to ask for the day off that day.
>"Only the day? You gotta train, sug!"
Well, if it's okay with you...
>"It is! And, uh, I can help you train."
Well, I was going to ask Rainbow to help me.
>"Rainbow? She's a good athlete and all, but she's uh.... busy. Yeah."
Oh.... alright, I guess. Uhh, why don't you come in and rest your hooves? You came all the way from Sweet Apple Acres, right?
>"Sure did, and that's mighty kind of you to offer."
>She comes in to find a progressively more cocooned Pinkie.
>"Uhh, what's she doing at your house, Anon?"
She came in last night to apologize and just zonked out really bad on the couch. I've stopped wondering about these things awhile ago.
>"Sug, whats 'zonked out' mean?"
Uhh, fall asleep really hard and very suddenly.
>Offer her a chair
>Go upstairs
>Go to get dressed, realize that before now I was mostly naked except for underwear.
>Shout down an apology
>No response. Guess she didn't hear me.
>Get dressed and shit.
>Hear a loud "Oooo."
>Applejack must have gotten hurt.
>Rush downstairs
Applejack are you okay?
>"Huh, what? Why wouldn't I be?"
I thought I heard you yelp in pain.
>"Oh that. Uh, yeah, splinter got me."
Want me to take a look at it?
>"O-oh, no. I already got it out"
>She makes for the door
>"I got get going now. Uhh, meet me in the field by the Big Oak at noon, we'll train then!"
>She was out the door before I could say anything.
>Pinkie's blanket cocoon has moved off the couch and on to the wall.
>Stopped questioning Pinkie Pie a long time ago.

>Be Applejack
>Almost caught clopping in Anon's house
>The embarrassment
>And doing it in front of Pinkie? Shame!
>Feel face get red hot
>Stop once far enough away to feel the shame leave your face.
>Just sit there, thinking about how stupid I am.
>Day goes on, make my way to the Big Oak Tree
>Look up at the sky, taking in scent of fresh grass.
>Anon suddenly fills my vision
>Didn't hear him coming
>Hecertainlyheardmecoming.jpg
>"So Applejack, what did you have in mind?"
>The pitter patter of my heart from embarassment has died down, but the pitter patter returned from seeing Anon's chiseled muscles.
>Face feels hot again
Yeah, uh, you see that log? Toss it as far as you can.
>Looks at me weird.
>Why did I say the Big Oak Tree? There aren't anything really weight related here.
>"You mean like a caber?"
>Whats a caber? Is that a... whatever anon is... thing?
Uhh, sure.
>"You're the trainer, I guess. Never did anything like it before."
>Anon isn't having a great time of it at first, but is eventually throwing the log around like he knew what he was doing.
>"What is Anon doing."
>Not her, not now

>Be Rainbow Dash
>See Anon throwing a log around a bunch.
>See Applejack just sort of watching
>Go to her
What is Anon doing?
>Audible sigh
>"He's training for the strongpony competition."
By throwing around a tree?
>"Eeyup"
We need him hitting the gym
>"I know."
>She sounded annoyed
Well, if you know, why isn't he already there?
>"Just, Because."
... Because you want him all to yourself?
>"What? Cha! Pff! No!
Hey Anon! stop being a doofus, let's go hit the gym!
>"What do you say, AJ? I think I've done all I can with this log."
>Silence
>"Yeah, get going."
>"You're not coming with?"
>"Nah, something has come up that I, uh, need to give my attention to."

>Be Anon
>Insert montage
>Not much has happened for the past few days except training
>Why did Celestia have to make it such short notice?
>Have AJ and Rainbow Dash as personal trainers
>AJ often excuses herself, so mostly getting help from Rainbow Dash mostly
>Her wings haven't been down for days
>Must be all the stress from training a fuck up like me
>Today is the day.
>On the train with pone friends
>Five of the Mane Six are with me.
>Pinkie is still cocooned back at my house, now hanging from my ceiling
>Stopped questioning her
>Big Mac, Bulge Bicep, and a few others are with us as well
>Intimidated by roid pone. Know him to okay guy, but don't know if/ when he'll start raging.
>Canterlot coming in to view out the window
>Big Mac is giving me his competition face.
>Anxiety raising
---
>Be Big Mac
>Gonna destroy Anon's face
>He has messed with a Mare's heart for the last time
>Gonna publicly humiliate him
>More pissed off because Dashy helped him train
>If only she knew how I felt.
>All the more reason to show her how much more athletic I am than Anon.

>Be Anon
>Competition is fierce.
>For whatever reason, I got myself squared off against Big Mac - I even beat Roid Pony in the dead lift (turns out he had poor technique - thanks Rainbow for teaching me.)
>Big Mac is giving me those same daggers for eyes he had for me back at the gym
>Celestia looks thoroughly pleased by the competition, like she gets of to it or something.
>The event we're doing is the called the wonder pull. We just pull a giant ass statue of the collective princesses with a scale model of Equestra on their shoulders to the finish line.
>Feel like Big Mac has an advantage pulling carts.
>The starting bell has sounded
>Start pulling, struggling from the start
>Big Mac is making significantly more progress than me.
>Decide to try and use quick bursts of strength to pull the statue
>Very bad idea
>The statue becomes imbalanced
>Teetering
>Toppling
---
>Be Big Mac
>Just won the Strong Pony Competition
>No one is cheering
>Look to see them all gathered around Anon
>Even in defeat they cheer for him over me
>Feel frustrated that I can't change people's minds.
>If no one will cheer, might as well gloat.
>Go over to Anon
>Statue pressed against his unconscious body
>Thought I heard something.

>Be Anon
>Don't know where you are.
>Start taking in your surroundings.
>This is a hospital. I'm in a hospital
>Can't remember what happened.
>See a bunch of gifts nearby. Mostly apple related.
>Thanks, boss.
>The nurse knocks on the door
>"Anon, you have a visitor."
>Big Mac
Oh hey, Big Mac. What happened?
>"A statue fell on you. You've been out for a few days."
>Big Mac looks sad, eyes cast towards the ground.
>"I-we almost lost you. The damnedest thing happened. I dare not question the fickle hand of faith ever again."
>Big Mac is talking a little fancier. Is he getting more familiar with books?
>"Pinkie Pie saved you. Except it wasn't Pinkie Pie. She was bigger, like a horse. She held the statue up so that we could get it off of you."
>Stopped questioning Pinkie Pie a long time ago.
>Very glad to have her as a friend
>Very glad to have all the friends I have.
>"Hey, once you get better, I would be.."
>He searches for a word
>"Honored if you would show me your work out methods. The way you trounced Bulge Bicep in the dead lift was unparalleled! [. . .]
>He's smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him smile.

End.