Red Versus Blue (Writefag Romp) Day 2

>Pale grunted, and grabbed the next rock.
>He winces as he saw his shattered thigh.
>Goddamn Reds.
>He slowly dragged himself over to the base.
>WHERE THE FUCK WAS EVERYONE?

>Hieron:”Okay, try the three-digit combo now.”
>Three soldiers huddled on their beds, giggling like idiots.
>One of them took aim with their weapon.
>At a glance, it was something similar to a shotgun.
>Covered in… Frosting.
>They even had jimmies spread all over the thing.
>A small numerical input was on the butt of the weapon.
>One of them started randomly punching numbers.
>The weapon whirred, and shook.
>Its barrel was aimed right onto the face of another idiot.
>Albert:”Woah Gift, you sure you want that on my face?”
>Gift smiled, and pressed the trigger.
>And in that second, a projectile, at one and a half fraction of speed of sound shot out to Albert’s face.
>As it collided, the projectile shattered into-
>Frosting?
>Albert’s head jerked backwards, and he fell into the prepared pillow.
>He opened his visor, and licked the remnants of the ‘bullet’
>Albert:”Banana-strawberry?”
>The three cheered again, and went on to repeat the cycle.
>Aether:”Faggots.”
>Aether stood at the doorway.
>He had the same frosting covered weapon, and it was beeping.
>The three stopped, and their weapons started to beep.
>Gift:”Hieron, any clue what this is?”
>Hieron stared at the beeping, and took in the rhythm.
>He then stood up.
>Hieron:”Pale is in trouble!”

>Pale gasped, and turned to his back.
>The sun burned his eyes.
>He was getting fried alive.
>He was-
>Gift:”Pale!”
>Aw shit, not those guys.
>The four soldiers circled Pale, as he looked to his death.
>Albert:”Pale, what are you doing right by the door?”
>Pale shrugged.
>Pale:”I don’t know man, give me a hint.”
>Aether ducked next to Pale, and poked his shot leg.
>Aether:”You don’t look so good, Pale.”
>Pale:”Really?”
>Aether:”Yep, looks like it.” Gift chimes in.
>He then aims the weapon at Pale.
>Albert pats his shoulder.
>Albert:”No man, don’t.”
>Pale sighs.
>Of all the people…

>Gadget takes scope, and looks over the Red base.
>He then spots two Reds, talking right outside of the base.
>Overlord:”What you looking at, Gadget?”
>Gadget:”Shut up, Overlord, I’m stalking people.”
>O:”With Pale’s gun?”
>G:”Yeah, mine’s shit.”
>G:”Dude, I think they got a girl over there.”
>O:”What?!”
>Overlord quickly takes the rifle, and zooms in.
>Two soldiers, that’s it.
>O:”I don’t see-“
>G:”See that skinny one? No one can be *that* slim without being a girl.”
>O:”I just don’t-“
>G:”And that bandana! It’s pink! And no man would wear their sash like that.”
>Overlord paused, and zoomed in closer.
>O:”Where’s the boobs?”
>G:”Fuck that man, they got armor.”
>O:”Doesn’t Pale wear his sash like that?”
>And with that, the two turn to the base, back in that desolate valley.
>O:”Is he lying on the ground?”
>G:”I think.”
>Pale was violently swinging his arms about, trying to scare off the four Pinkie-gunners.

>P:”NO. I want a freaking DOCTOR.”
>Gift:”Yeah, Aether here has a doctorate in clop.”
>Aether:”PhD, Baby.”
>Albert leaned closer to Pale.
>Albert:”Pretty Huge Dick.”
>Pale slaps Albert.
>Gadget:”PALE!”
>A distant cry catches the poor man’s attention.
>Gadget:”WE FOUND A FUCKING GIRL!”
>Pale suddenly stood up.
>He just heard the word ‘girl’ and ‘fuck’ in the same sentence.
>He quickly took a morphine shot, and started to climb the hills.
>No way in hell he’s missing that out.

>Lulz:”Who came up with the ‘uniqueness’ thing again?”
>Lulz tugged on his pink bandana, looking annoyed.
>L:”And why did you guys order pink?”
>Techy:”It’s funny.”
>Techy pulled his crimson one closer.
>L:”You ought to stop kiss-assing Laconic, Techy.”
>T:”Yeah, yeah- Pinkie Pie.”
>L:”Dude, it’s not Pink.”

>L:”It’s lightish red.”

>Somewhere in the valley, a drop-pod lands.
>It shoots straight into the ground, leveling the hill.
>It hisses open, and the door fires out.
>A familiar armor steps out, with a purple tag.
>The tag also had a red cross upon it.
>The newcomer taps his helmet, bringing out some holographic display.
>The Blue base is highlighted in the display.
>He takes out a small device, purple in color.
>It seemed like an ordinary pistol, it had a trigger.
>It emitted a swirling mess of green and lavender glow, starting from the glowing tip of the device.
>The newcomer points the device at a cut on his wrist, and pulls the trigger.
>An aura covers the wound, and the cut dissipated.
>He grins, and takes out a bag full of small packets with red crosses.
>He also takes out a metal baseball bat, and gives it a swing.

>PonyGone:”Feeling the LOVE.”

>Pale takes the rifle, and looks through the scope.
>Gadget, what.
>P:”Dude, that’s not a girl.”
>G:”Look at the pink cloth! And the way she’s wearing it! A girl, def.”
>Pale sighs.
>He just wasted one of the only morphine shots for this.
>Then he frowns, and touches his own blue bandana.
>P:”Wait, what’s wrong with a bandana?”
>G:”It’s faggy.”
>O:”HE SAID FAG” Overlord shouts.
>Pale looks again, trying to spot any feminine details.

>T:”Dude, take the bandana thing off, it looks gay.”
>L:”Fuck off Techy, besides, everyone’s doing it.”
>T:”No.”
>Techy crosses his arms, and stares his friend down.
>Then his head hurts a bit.
>Maybe tying the cloth around his head wasn’t a good idea.
>Who knew Blender had a really good knot?
>L:”I mean, look!”
>Lulz points at the three Blues on the cut side of the valley walls.
>L:”See? One of them is doing it.”
>Techy takes scope, and notices the bandana on the one on the far right.

>G:”Holy shit, they saw us!”
>P:”Just smile and wave.”
>The three get up, and start waving.
>Pale takes a sharpie, and draws a smile to the visor.

>T:”Wait, is that a-“
>:3
>Goddammit.
>L:”What are they doing?”
>T:”Not sure, just wave back.”

>Today was a weird day.

>Rune:”Burning things can be an art all its own. Taking into account wind, substance, humidity. All to make this biggest flame you can. The very thought of hungry flames breaking down and roasting everything...”
>Rune sighs, and takes another sip.
>R:”Do you know that?”
>The dead tree doesn’t say anything.
>R:”Woah now, no need to bring in Freudian analysis on this.”
>He aims his weapon to the plant.
>R:”I guess I’ll – see you in hell.”
>But before he lets hell loose, he remembers one thing.
>The wind.
>He sighs, and slings the strap of the weapon over his shoulder.
>He then takes off one glove.
>Now, to test wind direction.
>He puts his index in his mouth, wetting it.
>Wait no, that’s not enough.
>MORE
>I’M TALKING ABOUT DRENCHED
>LICK IT GOOOD
>LICK IT LIKE A MEXICAN PORNSTAR YEAH
>Then he pulls it out, and spits on it, just to be sure.
>Then, he slides his hand into his pocket, pulls out a small device, gets a wind reading, and fire away.
>He cackles as the fire cackles, and finally,
>It is done.

>That patch of grass was driving him nuts.

~Day 2