Crispy 2013

Crispy 2013 - Hyper Gay edition


"So, Mister - D. Yif, is it? - why don't you explain to me what brings you into a place of need for my services?"

The man adjusts his glasses while talking to me. I lay myself back into a comfortable position on the couch that is off to the side of his office.

Therapy.

Do I really need it? No doubt in my mind, after what I've been through.

"Where do you want me to begin, doc?"

He pulls out a small tablet and pen, clicking the pen into a position set for use.

"From the top will do."

I sigh and send myself back into an evil world from which I had only recently left.

I remember it. I stepped into a place practically filled with darkness, the only light around remaining ambient as the door closed behind me. I just can remember saying 'where the hell am I?' and taking a couple of steps forward, as well as yelling out into the black space before me.

'Hello? Is anyone there?'

This was supposed to be a place of kind people, recommended to me by a friend I met in a club I had recently joined.

The sounds were rather... eerie, to say the least.

The noises almost sounded like rhythmic slapping of skin. That alone was the first red flag.

The second came as two robed men, the only real parts visible on the both of them being their noses and mouths. The two took slow and even steps towards me, living me tense and in a small bit of confusion. Once they finally reached within about two feet of me, they both stopped in synchronization.

The first of the two, sporting a foreign, almost European accent, but much more rough around the edges, spoke up while pulling a small book out from underneath his sleeve.

"Ye' be readin' the Bible, mate?"

I stare at him, confused.

I apparently frustrated him with my lack of a response.

"Mate I'll wreck ya' wit'a smack to yer' gobbah, now speak wit' me will ya'!"

I continue to stand in a frozen state, shocked by his abruptness. Shortly after, the latter of the two spoke up.

"Mate we're gonna be takin' ya' to the main stay now, so ya' best be followin' or we'll be forced ta' drag your arse into the loo for a monkey spank."

The two turned on heels and began walking into a deeper location in the darkness, with my only choice being to follow them.

After a few minutes, the slapping sounds had gotten louder, distant voices beginning to barely become understandable popping up here and there.

That's when everything had gone black. All I remember is waking up with a migraine, as well as a wet and sticky substance hitting my body. I nearly puke as I yell out, unable to move out of my spot.

I literally was pasted to the ground by semen.

The mound continued to grow on me as my eyes came into focus, finally coming to the realization of what was going on.

A mass group of men, 20 or so in numbers, were having a gigantic circlejerk around my unconscious body.

They ranged from all shapes and sizes, ages and body types.

Some had guns strapped to their backs. A few were busy looking at Fakku to give a damn as to what they were releasing their seed onto.

A few others were just lost in a moment of homolust. They all had name tags on, as if they had their own nicknames within their cult like society.

"Oh god Garver, this guy is almost as cute as you!"

A man, apparently going by the name of 'AE' spoke first as he clung to his partner in crime.

A heavy, cigarette-smoking voice blared out, all of that mixed into a French accent.

"Ah this boy is so good, friends! Banda, don't you just wish he was a woman?"

The man he spoke to adjusted his glasses, pausing for a moment to take a sip from his bottle of alcohol.

"If he was a dickgirl, you can bet I'd be all over that booty. Hey, brits, quit being a bunch of gays with each other and get back to work!"

Two younger boys off to the opposite side of the circle, with name tags reading 'Daedalus' and 'MedicinalPersona' ceased their make-out session, returning to releasing mass quantities of white substance onto my body.

"Ye' bunch of bloody cunts you all are. Why can't ya' just let us have our moment o' fun, ya' know?"

"Yeah, wha' he said!"

"Hey, shut the fuck up! We have to get ready for the Semen Supernova!"

"Yeah!" They all shouted out in unison.

Without hesitation and the overwhelming pain of the situation occurring, my body shut down, knocking me out cold. When I once again woke up, I was cleaned and in hotel room, my body feeling aches all over. My virgin ass no longer felt as if it was pure, a sure sign of what had happened for the rest of my time out.

"...and that, doc, is what happened. Can you see why I'm here now?"

The psychiatrist once again readjusted his glasses, tapping his pen on his tablet.

"I don't quite see why they would do such a thing. I've gone to this address many times and never have I encountered such a cruel bunch of beings."

"You what?"

"It's just a normal bar with a friendly atmosphere. What the hell were you on while this story came to fruition?"

"Doc, you've got to believe me-"

He raises one finger in my direction, quickly scribbling onto a new piece of paper in his tablet. After a moment, he tears the piece off, a message written on it.

I look at him, confused.

"Mr. Yif, I'd like you to go back there one more time. Take that message to the man you first see when you walk in. Also, would you mind telling him something else for me?"

I nod my head, clenching to the piece of paper with determination.

"Let him know 'that guy' sent you."