NullCase

Violent Expressions of Love

Mar 23rd, 2021 (edited)
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  1. It’s been around half a year since you met her, met Kiara. You were one of the first new hires to KFP since she made her debut on the vtubing scene. You’d always admired her for her positivity and work ethic, and as far as bosses went she was great to work for. You were working late one night, showing a new hire how to do their job when you happened to get a chance to talk to her privately. You hit it off pretty well, and eventually your relationship grew into a romantic one. Those first few months of your relationship were wonderful, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to find such an amazing girlfriend.
  2. But as time went on, things began to decay between you two. Kiara’s vtubing career became more stressful as she struggled with self doubt and the vitriol she received on a daily basis began to affect your relationship. Her negative mental state began to affect her work at KFP and she often took it out on you, berating you for the smallest mistakes or even when a subordinate of yours screwed up.
  3. It just kept snowballing and soon it wasn’t just confined to work, the abuse continued at home and you found living with her was quickly becoming unbearable. Yet, despite all that had gone wrong, you still loved her and wanted to be with her. So you gritted your teeth, endured the abuse and just kept working and supporting Kiara. Things would get better soon, they had to. The hate Kiara got would die down soon, her moods would recover and things would go back to the way they were.
  4. But then came the day that things spiraled out of control. Work was terrible, standards at KFP had fallen heavily and no one was motivated. Customers weren’t happy and as manager you became the center of their unsatisfaction. You put on a forced smile and beared it though, for Kiara. Eventually the work day came to an end, although much later than usual. You’d had to stay late to get things in order for tomorrw, multiple workers had quit and you had to make sure you could make do without them.
  5. When you finally made it home, close to midnight. The first thing that you heard was not the voice of a loving girlfriend welcoming you home, or being concerned for you. When you got past the entryway, all you got were more insults. Kiara was angry. She berated you for being late, accused you of not caring about her. When you told her what had happened at work, she simply called you incompetent. Listening to her derision, something snapped inside of you. You blacked out for a moment.
  6.  
  7. When you finally realized what had happened Kiara was on the floor cupping a hand to her swollen cheek.
  8. You’d hit her. You’d hit your girlfriend.
  9. All your anger immediately vanished as you crouched down to comfort her, but when you tried to bring a hand to her face to get a better look she simply slapped it away. Kiara then stood up and walked to the bedroom, never once looking at you. You didn’t dare follow her, so you just slept on the couch that night.
  10. When you woke the next morning, Kiara had already left for work. You decided to skip breakfast and headed to work yourself.
  11. After that night, things only got worse. Your own guilt coupled with Kiara continuing to taker her frustrations out on you at work and at home lead to your work peformance dropping heavily. Whenever you tried to tell Kiara to stop berating you, to calm down she simply sneered and asked:
  12. „Or what? Are you going to hit me again?“
  13. Those words stabbed through to your heart every time and so you simply swallowed your complaints and growing frustrations and let it build inside you.
  14. You didn’t really know why you did what you did that day. Work wasn’t particularly worse than usual and Kiara didn’t really spit any more venomous words at you than you were used to. You’d even managed to get home early, a rare occurance these days. You were sitting in the living room just enjoying the silence when you suddenly got a phone call. It was your subordinate from KFP, apparently one of the new hires had fucked up big time, and a matter required your urgent attention. The hire was one you’d trained personally, made sure they could do their job perfectly. How could they have messed up this badly? You weakly replied you’d get over there as soon as possible, and hung up the phone.
  15.  
  16. Kiara was sitting next to you, you got up and were about to go and get your shoes on when you heard the words that broke you.
  17. „Can’t you do anything right?“
  18. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, all of your repressed frustration broke out in one great deluge of anger. You did the one thing you swore you’d never do again.
  19. You hit Kiara.
  20. She fell to floor as she let out a surprised yelp.
  21. „What the hell is wrong with you!?“, she spat.
  22. You hit her again. She was now on her back lying on the floor.
  23. Before she could try to get up you put a knee to her chest.
  24. You punched her again. The impact of your fist on her delicate fist did not abate your anger, but rather seemed to add fuel to the fire.
  25.  
  26. You hit her again
  27.  
  28. And again
  29.  
  30. And again
  31.  
  32. Kiara’s face was a bruised mess, tears were flowing freely from her swollen eyes.
  33. You drew back your fist and sent it flying towards her face, once more.
  34. You lost your mind, a white hot fury was all that occupied your mind. Gone was the love you felt for this woman, gone was your self respect, your guilt. Rage was all you had now.
  35. You kept hitting her, punching her viciously. Blood was splattering on your clothes, the floor. Your fists were covered in a red, sanguine mess.
  36.  
  37. When you finally stopped hitting her, all that was left of Kiara’s once beautiful face was a mess of bloody meat.
  38.  
  39. As the anger in you begant to burn out, the awful reality of what you had done finally registered in your rational mind.
  40. You’d killed her. Your girlfriend, your love, your Kiara.
  41. You couldn’t even cry. You simply stood up and walked to the bathroom where you promptly threw up. You hadn’t eaten anything all day so all that came up was watery stomach juices.
  42. When you staggered back to the living room, the sight that greeted you sent you falling to your knees.
  43.  
  44. It was Kiara
  45.  
  46. She was standing there, seemingly no worse for fear. Her once pulverized face was once again an image of pristine beauty. A beatific smile plastered on it. It made you want to vomit again and you heaved violently, but nothing came up. You didn’t understand what was happening.
  47. As Kiara began to walk toward you, your barely coherent mind recoiled in terror and you tried to scramble away from her on your knees. You soon found yourself with your back against the wall and with nowhere to escape you simply curled and began to cry. You were going to die. Kiara would kill you now and it would be completely justified.
  48. You were a murderer she was going to kill you and no one would miss you and you would deserve all of it she was in front of you know crouching down she extended her hands you were going to diediediediediedie
  49.  
  50. Instead of a painful death you felt yourself being drawn into a gentle embrace. Kiara was hugging you and stroking your hair. Your already beleagured mind already stretched to the breaking point simply shut down. Kiara continued to hold you in her arms as she whispered words of forgiveness and love to you.
  51. Things changed after that. The love you two once had was gone. Destroyed by your own hands. But now it had been replaced with a new kind of love. Kiara’s frustrations and anger seemed to melt away completely after that day. Her mood improved, your work performance went back to the way it was. And everything seemed, to all appearances, normal. It wasn’t of course, things could never go back to normal. But perhaps you did find a new kind of equilibrium. You loved Kiara but your mind was broken, you could no longer express your love in the way normal people did. Violence became your shared language. Often Kiara would intentionally egg you on, encouraging you to inflict all manner of pain upon her. Beating, stabbing, strangling you’ve done it all at this point and she accepts it all, goads you to do it even.
  52. You ponder if this was simply what you both wanted from the start. Kiara wanted to be punished, and you wanted to punish her. You’ve killed her 99 times now. Tonight will be the 100th and you want to make it special. You know she’s looking forward to it.
  53. You open the front door of your house as a sadistic grin creeps onto your face.
  54.  
  55. „Welcome home, dear.“
  56.  
  57.  
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