Someone Came With Her, Part 2

“You, my friend, have a dirty little mind,” chides Discord.  “Care for some brain bleach?” he asks, holding up a bucket bubbling with caustic chemicals.

“Yeah, har har.  Anyway, this dream is getting kind of old.  My subconscious can't keep up a Discord impression for shit.”

Discord puts a claw to his chest in a parody of indignation.  “Oh, you wound me!  You think I'm just a figment of your imagination?”

“Well, duh,” you say.  “Why would you be telling me all this crap, anyway?   Aren't you supposed to be the bad guy?”

“How terribly rude!” he mock-sobs.  “Although I admit you have a point.”

Suddenly he is behind you, riding on a wooden rocking horse that neighs and bucks.  “Long story short, you're in for quite the experience at Sawgrass,” says Discord.  “Something terrible is about to happen in that place.”

“A marathon viewing of Newborn Cuties?” you ask.

Discord rolls his eyes.  “Oh, hush.  Look, do you want to save Equestria or not?”

“Why would -you- care?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that I had reformed?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, nuts.  How about this: if Equestria falls, I want it to be on -my- terms.  Does that fit better into your narrow-minded little ideas about the Mighty Discord?”

“Sure, okay.”

“Splendid!”  He snaps his fingers and suddenly the two of you grow to the size of mountains.  The little desert town now looks like it's part of a model train set, and you can see a tiny radio tower jutting from a hill on the northern border.

“As I explained earlier, there's a portal of sorts in Sawgrass; a gateway to Equestria.  This,” he says, tapping the radio tower with a squeal of bending metal, “is where that portal is.  You need to get there by noon tomorrow.”

“Why?” you ask, marveling at how oddly specific this dream is getting.

“Someone is going to cross the portal at just that time,” says Discord, leaning in slightly to glower at you.  “A sorcerer.  Very powerful, very evil.  He has some rather nasty plans for Equestria.”

“Of course he does,” you say dryly.

“Don't be like that! You think what -I- did was bad?  I'm Princess Cadance compared to him,” he says, morphing into her but retaining the same head.  It's a shudder-inducing sight.

“Oh, Shining Armor,” he squeals in a mocking falsetto.  “Whatever will we do?  If only a certain human had just listened to Discord about--”

“Okay, I get it!” you snap.  “Look, I'll humor you a bit more, but only if you never do that goddam voice again.  Promise?”