Hooman Fwuffy

>be a lone wolf traveling on your harley, helping people to get rid of fluffy pony problems
>arrive in a town that has spotted an illegal herd of feral fluffy ponies
>reports indicate that the feral fluffy pony herd actually tries to stay out of the way of the human settlement
>but whenever wild animals decimate the herd or food gets scarce, they seek refuge in the town, scavenging for trash, or eating flower beds and raiding small gardens until their numbers become big enough again
>the townfolk have enough of this
>you are asked to help them get rid of the herd of feral fluffy ponies
>search for the great herd, estimated to be at over 200 fluffy ponies, foals included
>find their tracks quickly thanks to your expert wilderness skills
>once you see them, you sneakily approach them with your always reliable fluffy pony mask disguise
>as soon as the first of the fluffy ponies see you, they happily ask “fwuffy iz new fwend?”
>you answer them back in their limited speech, saying that you are a new friend and you want to join them
>but before you can actually finish, you hear a fluffy pony cry as loud as it can
>it yells “Fwuffies! Wun! Meanie Hooman Munsta! Make Ouchies to Fwuffies! Wun!”
>this comes from a blue and beige colored male earth pony
>the herd instantly panics and screams about “Nuuu! Meanie Two-wegged Munstas Make Ouchies!” “No Wanna Ouchies!” “Smawty Fwend! Whad Fwuffies Do?”, before being ordered by that fluffy pony to go to the “safe pwace! huwwy!”
>the fluffy ponies immediately run, respectively waddle to the direction the male earth fluffy pony is showing with one of its front legs
>you just identified the 'smarty friend'
>look around, wondering if some other people are also here
>don't see any

>the fluffy pony herd is meanwhile waddling away, but not at top speed, as there is a group of bloated pregnant fluffy dams with too stubby little legs that cannot touch the ground needing to be helped by attending mares, either pushing them or even rolling them together with the herd, with the foals fearfully crying and huddling the mares
>a rear guard of fluffy ponies is nervously also watching for any signs of humans that the 'smarty friend' warned about
>the fact that these fluffy ponies are ignoring you while attentively trying to spot any intruding humans gives you the assurance that your disguise is holding
>they fearfully babble about “whew meanie munsta?” “gwassy hoof no wike hooman!” “cuty pie no wan ouchies!” “hewp momma fwuffies!”
>while you stand around, searching for any other humans the 'smarty friend' claims to have seen, you are ordered by a male fluffy unicorn to “new fwend! hewp momma fwuffies! giwl fwuffies no can make momma fwuffies go fast! new fwuffy hewp!”
>seeing no other human except yourself here at this place, you shrug with your shoulders and just gently bump a bloated pregnant dam like a ball, repeating this whenever the pregnant dam stops rolling or rolls slightly out of turn
>she vomits and loses control over its bladder, crying fearfully that you are making her “new fwend make fwuffy go too fast! pwease no make go too fast!”
>the pregnant bloated dam you rolled is the closest to the rest of the herd, with the other pregnant dams only slowly gaining up with the help of the attending mares
>the 'smarty friend' stops, looks back, and then suddenly cries again “Nuuu! Meanie Hooman Munsta Fowwow Fwuffies!”
>you and the fluffy ponies all turn your heads to see where the human is the 'smarty friend' is crying about
>there really is no one here but you with your cunning disguise

>you conclude that the 'smarty friend' is probably extremely retarded and is hallucinating
>he might have eaten some mushrooms, you speculate
>the 'smarty friend' just yells “Wook! Wook! Munsta Make Mummie Fwuffy Ouchie! Hewp Mummie Fwuffy!”
>the male earth pony 'smarty friend' is pointing at you
>you are shocked and surprised
>touch your mask to see if it might perhaps be broken, or perhaps you suddenly lost it
>everything's alright with that
>the fluffy ponies are all watching at you
>some then look behind you
>”whew meanie munsta, smawty fwend?” they all ask him
>he points at you again, and says “fwuffies no see? dat hooman! no iz fwuffy! hooman twy wook wike fwuffy! dey make ouchies to fwuffies!”
>he waddles to you, puffing his cheek, and says “go 'way, hooman! fwuffies go 'way too. fwuffies no make oopsies ow take 'way hooman stuff. we good fwuffies. no wan ouchies fwom hoomans, and no give ouchies to hoomans. pwease go 'way. fwuffies behave. no one get ouchies. dad good fo fwuffies an hooman”
>you don't believe it
>there is a fluffy pony who saw through your disguise
>the 'smarty friend' is actually smart enough to see that you're a human, wearing only a fluffy pony mask as a disguise
>the rest of the herd is confused, looking for a human they can't see
>some other fluffy ponies come near the 'smarty friend'
>recognize one of them as the unicorn from before
>'big heawt. whew meanie hoomans? spawkwy no see meanie hooman”, “witwwe-wingie no see meanie hooman”, “huwpwe am scawwed. whew munsta?” “twinku bewwy no wan wun. eggies make ouchies when wun” they ask him

>the 'smarty friend' just points at you the whole time and asks again to the herd 'why no see? dat hooman! you no see hooman twy wook wike fwuffy? hooman pewhaps twy make ouchies to fwuffies. fwuffies must make hooman go 'way! fwuffies bewieve big heawt, wight?”
>”dat no hooman, big heawt. dat new fwuffy. iz new fwend”, the fluffy ponies babble
>except for the 'smarty friend', your disguise is absolutely secure against the herd
>the 'smarty friend' facehooves itself with its stubby marshmallow legs
>”you fwuffies awe stupid fwuffies! dad why big heawt am smawty fwend”, it angrily chirps at them
>”big heawt am smawty fwend. big heawt say fwuffies make hooman twy wook wike fwuffy go 'way. make fake fwuffy go 'way!” it orders to the herd, trying to make the situation clear to them
>the fluffy ponies are all insecure
>”why big heawt say new fwend iz hooman?” “am hungwy” “wan nummies!” “why weggies no wun?” “fwuffies make poopies now?” “fwuffy make peepee now?” they randomly babble at him
>you feel sorry for the 'smarty friend'
>he is the one-eyed king of a horde of blind idiots
>the 'smarty friend' shakes its head after realizing that nofluffy in the herd is believing him
>he then thinks very hard
>while he is thinking, the fluffy pony herd is now restarting their activity they did before their 'smarty friend' made them all run
>they chase each another, run around, swallow some grass, feed their young, hug, play hide in front and close your eyes, empty their bowel contents on the spot, give special hugs, blow raspberries or do all the other stuff fluffy ponies do when in a big herd
>some fluffy ponies also ask you if you want to play with them or give huggies
>you agree, while keeping an eye on the 'smarty friend'

>he also seems to watch you as attentively as is possible for fluffy ponies
>the fluffy ponies all enjoy your presence
>when they play hide and seek, you pretend that you don't see them when they just close their eyes, which makes you the favorite to pick in this game
>when having to chase them, you make extremely slow movements so that they can all get away from you
>you pat them on the head, rub their bellies, and let yourself get hugged at your legs with their filth-caked bodies
>it's quite fortunate that you only use cheap workshoes and pants
>you grab two foals gently and lift them up under your armpits
>they first cry in fear, but then are overjoyed when seeing all the other fluffy ponies being below them
>of course, you do hold them tightly so that they can't fall off
>you are quickly the favorite of the feral fluffy pony herd, be they pregnant dams, small foals, or young mares and stallions
>they ask you why you are that big, from where you are from, if there are other big fluffy ponies like you, if you are hungry and so on
>after a few minutes of really hard thinking, which prooves that the 'smarty friend' must be some kind of unique mutation, he seems to have gotten an idea
>he calls for the attention of the entire herd
>the 'smarty friend' has to try getting their attentions several time, but after a while finally manages it
>he starts with ”dat... fwuffy”, pointing at you, while rolling its eyes
>”no can stay wid fwuffies. no can pway wid fwuffys. too big. fak-eh... fwuffy now go 'way.” he proclaims

>the fluffy ponies all look saddened, some cry and ask “why new fwend no can stay?” “fwuffies hewp fwuffies.” “meanie mustas make fwuffies get big ouchies, no can move.” “big heawt no do dis. no iz good fwuffy when make new fwend go way”
>the 'smarty friend' tries to stomp with his marshmallow-like hooves to show that he really means it
>”you aww stupid fwuffies! big heawt say fake fwuffy.... new fwend go 'way. big heawt am smawty fwend. smawty fwend say sumthin', an fwuffies do wha smawty fwend says. dat awways so!” he commands
>but the fluffy ponies just beg him to let you stay, some even openly defy him by blowing raspberries at him in a spiteful manner
>the 'smarty friend' seems to be visibly upset at the insubordination of the herd
>in anger, he 'runs' to you at maximum waddling speed, and bucks your legs with all his might, the force equaling to a human prodding somebody else
>immediately after that, the 'smarty friend''s expression changes to a face of dread, and he turns around as quickly as fluffy ponies can, shaking visibly and preparing to evade your counter-attack
>you just look down to him
>the 'smarty friend' knows that fluffy ponies have no chance against humans
>“p-p-pwease n-n-no make ouchies to-to-to big-big heawt” he pleads
>you then fake a scream of pain, and hope around as if your leg hurts
>the 'smarty friend' just looks confused
>the rest of the herd cries in horror, shrieking “why big heawt give ouchies to new fwend?” “big heawt iz big meanie no iz good pone!” “no wike big heawt” “big heawt iz meanie pone” “meanie heawt make ouchies no wike”

>immediately, some fluffy ponies gather around you to make the pain go away by hugging your legs
>the 'smarty friend' just looks at you skeptically, mumbling “why hooman twy wook wike fwuffy? why hooman say ouchies if big heawt no can make ouchies to hooman?”
>can't fool him in any way, you now fully recognize
>you thank the fluffy ponies for the hugs, and whimper that the 'smarty friend' is a meanie fluffy pone, and that you don't know why he doesn't like you
>the 'smarty friend' leaves you alone for the rest of the day, doing nothing but watching over you
>your presence in the herd visibly upsets him, but since you have done nothing to harm any fluffy pony, he has to tolerate you
>only his confidants hold to him, telling him to relax by playing hide and seek, eating something or giving some special hugs to some of his favorite mares
>he tries to relief the stress from dealing with you by copulating, but his hamhooved actions from before do not make them too enthusiastic at pleasing him, which only makes him more upset
>nightfall comes, and the fluffy ponies prepare to sleep by bundling together in a big pile of fluff
>the 'smarty friend' orders the fluffy ponies to all “make poopies an peepee now. no make poopies an peepee if fwuffies sweep. no good when no smeww pwetty. no gud fo fwuffy babehs.”
>some of the fluffy ponies seem to have constipation
>“pwease make poopies, poopie pwace”, they beg their own butts
>you tell them that you are going to help them
>pack them and squeeze them lightly until their fecal matter and urine flows
>they squeal and then complain about this method, but then thank you for helping them, and all hug you
>seeing this, the mares then ask you to help “new good fwend. pwease make babehs make poopie an peepee now.”

>you comply
>then, the bloated pregnant fluffy ponies beg you to do that to them
>soon, all fluffy ponies except for a few want you to squeeze them
>you do so
>the fluffy ponies all go happily to sleep
>only you and the 'smarty friend' don't sleep
>he cautiously approaches you and asks “why hooman do dis? you no make ouchies to fwuffies. pway and give huggies to fwuffies. why? whad hooman wan?”
>you say nothing first
>the 'smarty friend' concentrates on you, but the darkness does make him drowsy
>”You know why I am here”, you tell him
>”den hooman make ouchies to fwuffies when fwuffies go sweep?” he fears
>”No! You will hurt the fluffy ponies”, you grimly prophesy
>this statement greatly confuses the 'smarty friend'
>”big heawt nevah make ouchies to fwends. big heawt am smawty fwend. big heawt wesponsibwe. big heawt know hooman no wike many fwuffies wid smawty fwend. hooman make ouchies to fwuffies. big heawt nevah make ouchies”, he defiantly returns
>you take of your fluffy pony mask after all this hour and start cleaning it as well as eating something
>the moment you take of your mask, the 'smarty friend' immediately yells to the fluffy ponies to wake up and see quickly
>the sleeping fluffy ponies wake up, many shivering, but almost none unleashing any filth thanks to your squeezes
>the 'smarty friend' commands the fluffy ponies to all look at you
>you put your mask on without any hurry
>the fluffy ponies all ask their 'smarty friend' why he woke them all up
>he doesn't answer, and just grimmly watches you
>the fluffy ponies all go to sleep, except the 'smarty friend', who by sheer willpower tries to stay awake, ready for the moment you will assault the herd

>you continue cleaning the mask and eating again after the fluffy ponies area all snoozing
>the 'smarty friend' doesn't try to wake up the herd this time, knowing that you can easily fool them again
>quite commendable of that little fluffballs to stay awake so long
>but he can't outlast you, since you can go up to 72 hours without sleep thanks to your extensive training
>listen to your headphone radio and play some games on a handheld console
>the 'smarty friend' is staggering, trying to desperatly keep his eyes open
>the moment he falls down and starts dozing off, you gently poke him in the side to wake him up
>he is confused at you helping him stay awake
>this goes on for the night
>the next morning dawns
>success
>the 'smarty friend''s body is shaking from the lack of sleep
>the rest of the herd wakes up
>they cheer up that it does only smell a little bad, and hug each another
>now the 'smarty friend' tries to catch up on some sleep
>the fluffy ponies all do their daily routine

>most of the 'smarty friend's posse keeps watch for intruders and predators, while the rest of the fluffy ponies babble unintelligibly, blow raspberries, swallow grasses, just run around, play hide in front and close their eyes with you, hug each another, or make special hugs if the urge rises, empty their lower regions of fecal matter and urine, and whatever other stuff fluffy ponies do
>the 'smarty friend' is sleeping soundly
>now is the time, you decide
>you innocently ask the fluffy ponies when the 'smarty friend' will give out the 'nummies'
>the fluffy ponies are confused about “smawty fwend have nummies?” “fwuffy wan nummies” “get nummies fwom smawty fwend?”
>pretend that the 'smarty friend' was munching on something very sweet that he didn't want to share, but you found some
>as 'proof', you put some milled sugar on the ground
>one of the fluffy ponies tentatively gives it a lick
>the moment its tongue touches the sugar, it rolls happily on the ground, being in an overjoyed ecstasy
>it stands up and immediately tries to get some more
>you slightly push the little greedy fluffball away, and let others try it
>the sugar is soon licked up completely away
>many other fluffy ponies want to try what the others are getting, but there isn't enough of it at all
>the fluffy ponies that already had some sugar ask for more
>the other fluffy ponies that didn't get any also beg for it, because the others are begging for it
>tell them that was all you had, and only 'smarty friend' has them

>the fluffy ponies immediately wake up the 'smarty friend', who is very tired, and they say “fwuffies wan nummies!” “smawty fwend. pwease give nummies wike befowe” “wan tasty nummy pwease shawe” “whew nummies?”
>the 'smarty friend' has of course no clue what they are talking about, and he tries to continue to sleep
>the sugary rush in many of the fluffy ponies causes them to be irratic, and they immediately wake up the 'smarty friend' again, demanding to know where the 'nummies' are
>because the 'smarty friend' doesn't know what the fluffy ponies are asking him about, and he wants to sleep, he tells them to leave him alone
>they don't
>he tries to walk away and find another place to sleep
>like a little shoulder devil, you now suggest to the fluffy ponies that the 'smarty friend' is trying to keep all the good stuff for himself, and doesn't want to share at all, that he's going to eat it when nobody sees him
>the fluffy ponies all follow their leader
>he tries to sleep, but the constant pushing and waking up makes him get very annoyed
>whenever it seems that the fluffy ponies might soon lose interest and forget about the sugar, you whip them up by telling them once more that the 'smarty friend' will keep all the 'nummies' for himself and that nofluffy will ever get the sweet-tasting 'nummy' again
>the fluffy ponies all egg on the 'smarty friend' again and again
>he can't sleep anymore after all that commotion
>the fluffy ponies are all eagerly demanding 'nummies'
>”no. fwuffies eat gwassies. nummies in bad pwace. many foxy-munstas an biwdy-mustas dewe”, most likely refering to some berries
>you tell them that the 'smarty friend' is lying, citing it as a proof that that he wants to keep the 'nummies' for himself

>the fluffy ponies are getting whipped up more and more by your suggestion
>the 'smarty friend' realizes only slowly what is happening
>all the fluffy ponies start puffing up their cheeks at him and demand that he gives out the 'nummies'
>”Ow fwuffies make ouchies to meanie smawty fwend” you influence them to say
>”ow fwuffies make ouchies to meanie smawty fwend”, they repeat
>'make ouchies' is repeated again and again
>the 'smarty friend' sees that he must keep the situation under control
>he calls for his trusted confidants, who join him
>they puff up their cheeks, and demand the herd to calm down
>the situation is tense at the point of breaking
>you escalate the situation by simply pushing a fluffy pony forward, who stumbles into another fluffy pony in front of it, who does the same to another fluffy pony, and this one is pushed forward into the face of one of the 'smarty friends' trusted retainers
>fluffy pony civil war starts
>the fluffy ponies nibble, push, stomp, slap with their tiny wings or ram their blunt horns into their opponents, mostly just attacking the fluff
>foals inbetween get stomped by the fluffy ponies pushing each another, their cries for help being unheard

>many fluffy ponies just stumble on their own legs, getting stomped down by everybody
>the 'smarty friend' and his enforcers are outnumbered by more than 10:1
>once a fluffy pony on the side of the 'smarty friend' is surrounded by all sides, the fluffy ponies just jump on its back, or pull all the legs and the tail in every direction, which causes immense pain to the fluffy pony being used as a impromptu tug-of-war rope
>after a minute of constant pulling, the legs or the tail get torn off, and the fluffy pony, if not fortunate to having been killed before, slowly dies a miserable death, unless its weak skull gets stomped by a dozen tiny fluffy hooves
>all the 'loyalists' are soon overwhelmed but for the 'smarty friend' himself
>because of his increased intelligence, he knows to not attack the fluff
>the 'smarty friend' kicks directly into the legs of its enemies to cripple them, and then stomps with its forelegs right into the eyes of the fluffy ponies lying down, blinding them, or even cracking their skulls
>if a fluffy pony manages to bite his tail, he doesn't try to pull it off, but just bucks the offender right into its tiny face
>the 'smarty friend' is a fluffified little death god, murdering fluffy ponies in a senseless bout of violence one by one
>the rush of adrenaline because of the lack of sleep combined with the inherent clumsiness of its foes quickly let it mount a pile of fluffy corpses
>soon, only few of the insurrecting fluffy ponies remain
>they try to flee, but you simply block of their way, letting the enraged and now mindless 'smarty friend' massacre the last stragglers involved in the slaughter
>the 'smarty friend' is ready to attack you, when a sense of self-preservation kicks in

>the adrenaline rush now goes away, and the 'smarty friend' looks around what happened
>it is a fluffy carnage
>only the bloated pregnant dams that can't move on their own remain together with the 'smarty friend'
>the foals lie crushed down
>many mares are now partly mud
>stallions are unable to move with crushed legs
>those still alive can only moan
>the 'smarty friend' cries and drops to the ground
>”Nuuuuu! Why Dis Happen? Why Dis Happen?”, it cries out with all its might
>the strain of the battle with the heightened adrenaline rush and the fluffy testosterone he received is too much for his body
>his heart starts to slow down
>all his muscles feel heavy to him
>”you... you... make.. big... heawt... make... ouchies... to... fwends...” it sobs
>nod
>”big... heawt... ne-... ne-...vah... wan-... ted... to... to... be... fwuf-...fie... po... ne...” are the last words that come out from his mouth
>his body stops moving forever

>the bloated pregnant fluffy mares are all wondering what is happening
>they have no idea what the big yelling that all the other fluffy ponies made was about, but they want to be a part of it
>suddenly, something rustles the grass they are in
>it is the face of a fox
>the immobile balls of fluff shriek for help as loud as they can
>no help arrives for them
>only other predators, like crows, ravens, badgers, weasel, attracted by the smell of fluffy pony blood and the sheepish cries of the pregnant mares
>soon, all corpses are assailed by predators, and the bloated fluffy ponies are eaten alive, the wild animals feasting upon the fluffy dams and the fluffy foals that were still gestating inside of them
>you leave the place with but one thing
>you look extremely cool with your shades and the toothpick in your mouth
>traveling towards the sunset on your harley
>behind you, a fine trail of ash is blown away by the draft from a small urn you have opened
>it is the cremated remains of a great fluffy pony leader that the fluffy ponies were given, but didn't prove worthy of having