Dreamgeons and Dreamgons “Recap” Pt. 1

This adventure surrounds Bree, an experienced halfling bounty hunter, accumulating increasingly socially ignorant people around her: Soot, a 12 year old cat person (and his technically otherworldly wool snake Snow) with some knowledge in alchemy and a childish nature; Wren, a blunt but friendly harpy recently banished from her flock and hoping to build a positive reputation as a protector; and Lili, a giant purple woman who was originally a hellacious voidbeing from another reality and doesn’t know how mouths work, let alone cities.

Some time after Bree stumbles upon Soot's wandering and decides to take him under her care, the two are joined by Wren, who’s decided that she’ll need company to make any kind of progress in civilized society. They enter the city of Plumluck, a tourist trap of sorts where they encounter an extremely shady bear in priest's robes asking strangers for a favor. As the man explains, some “friends” in a secluded woodland mansion have been doing “bad magic things” and need to be politely delivered a very clearly enchanted letter with the help of mysterious silver coins they “might need”, insisting that the enchantment is a light show and that he can’t go himself because reasons. None of the party is swayed by this explanation (although Soot is quite pleased with the gift of two lollipops), but Bree agrees anyhow, on the condition of each member being paid 150% of their originally promised 100GP reward. (Wren also attempts to ask for the bear to put in a good word for her, but fails to convince him and promptly leaves.)

On their way out, however, they remember that they didn’t ask for directions...or the bear's name, or his whereabouts, or anything else really. Knowing only that the mansion is in the forest to the north, Bree manages to concoct a compass out of her artisan's kit and they head on their way. In a clearing deep in the middle of the woods, the three stumble upon a crumpled purple figure at the base of a small hill. After some will saves due to the figure speaking into their minds (Bree is treated to some psychic damage, unfortunately), they rudely poke and interrogate for a bit before turning the weak and wounded 7 ft woman over, who introduces herself as Lili and is immediately noticeable for her somewhat eldritch features and lack of knowledge on how existence works. (She is decidedly NOT noticeable for being completely naked. No one besides her player even realizes this until they are told hours later.)

The meeting is interrupted by Soot being shot with an arrow (understandably prompting him to cry), due to three cowardly goblins getting the jump on the party. Although Soot is quick to protect himself with Blade Ward, the goblins are for the most part so bad at aiming and so quickly taken out by Bree's acid and Wren's big ’ol beatstick that no further harm falls to him. Although Bree tries to interrogate the one she nearly melted to death, the goblin's panicked babbling does no good and the mental “Shut up!” it gets is enough to accidentally finish it off.

With the danger averted, Lili attempts to consume a goblin corpse for strength with her nonexistent tail(?), and subsequently needs to be explained via several dexterity checks, a goblin's pack of jerky and the uneloquent Wren how legs, mouths and food works. (Bree is not exactly enthused about the stranger, but can’t convince the others to leave.) Along the way, she explains that she’s a snakey voidbeing from another plane of existence and was summoned right up to that hill, forced into a human-esque form due to the laws of this reality. She also spots Soot's wool snake, Snow, and realizes that Soot  bound one of her own into that form. Soot refuses to let her see Snow, Bree refuses to let her approach Soot, and she is unable to get Silk (as she refers to it) to give her any information, although the rude little being does snicker at her predicament a bit. With her hand forced, she decides to travel along with the group as thanks for the food and primer on how to live.

After a rather disruptive and regrettable filler episode in which Wren hunts down a squirrel snack for Lili, the party finally finds the mansion in a large clearing, seemingly guarded by two goblins of similar dress to the others which Soot immediately launches acid at. Despite being sore about the arrow, his heart clearly isn’t in it, as the acid manages to deal 1 damage to 1 goblin. Bree follows up with a thrown rock, however, which suddenly explodes in thunderous force that knocks the injured goblin across the clearing, unconscious,  and leaves the other hurt and cowering. While the infused Thunderwave impresses the others, she immediately begins reapplying the rune, showing no interest in the goblin whatsoever.

Lili learns that there are many other goblins like it inside the mansion, while Soot attempts to calm it down with a hug (and Bree provokes its fear by throwing the half-runed rock towards it before resuming the inscription). Wren, unhappy with the ambush her companions had conducted, heads through the mansion’s ajar front door, finding it spacious and empty, and fails to draw out their mission’s target with a greeting. Lili tries her telepathic variant and only manages to illicit some extra shuffling behind the many closed doors. Just as Soot is walking in with his hug-dragged goblin friend and Wren is climbing the spacious stairway to investigate further, a veritable flood of goblins begin pouring out, causing her to run back. The goblins actually manage to overcome Lili's will check, but are a little more cowed by Bree's quick decision to hold Soot's goblin friend hostage.

A larger goblin than the others emerges as well: to the party's relief, a friendly one who actually addresses them in Common. He explains that he doesn’t know of any bears, coins or letters, but isn’t pleased about having the mansion broken into and one of his goblins held hostage (nor is Soot on this point, who learns the goblin word(s) for *I want to be your friend* and briefly cheers up the hostage with them). Bree fails to lie about the goblin she incapacitated (Wren's straightforwardness doesn’t help), but the party is still allowed to accept his terms of leaving the hostage, taking the letter and never returning. Somewhat fed up with the ordeal, they leave the letter next to the unconscious goblin and start back into the forest, failing to notice Soot heading back to look over it curiously.

Not even a minute of travel passes before Bree realizes: if the greater goblin didn’t know of the bear, then the house's true owner might have been taken or killed by them - and as long as a chance of finishing her contract remains, she cannot refuse it.

Reluctantly, the others follow her back to the mansion for a closer look, just in time for Soot to meet back up with the letter. His guilty demeanor quickly gives way to surprise when he spots a window left ajar on the second story's side, and Bree requests to be tossed up by Wren (despite Wren's ability to fly) so as to drop a rope. The party heads into an empty bedroom, where Bree finds a few GP worth of jewelry and Soot begins bouncing noisily on the bed. Figuring stealth to be a moot point given this development, Wren opens the door for a look, where she sees a hallway full of goblins, luckily all bustling enough that they don’t notice the activity besides for a few scary moments once Soot is asked to stop jumping and the door is closed.

The party debates for a while on how to approach the situation, with the general consensus being that they don’t have the firepower to take on the whole mansion (and for some, wouldn’t want to). Finally, Wren hits upon an idea, and thus Lili telepathically asks everything in the house to scream if they’re not a goblin. Amidst the murmurs and confusion beyond the door, the party is delighted to hear a suppressed yelp that not only confirms Bree's suspicions, but lets her know where it came from. Commanding the others to get ready, she flings open the door and tosses her final Thunderwave-infused rock. The perfectly placed grenade not only scatters or incapacitates a large number of the goblins, it blows open the door to the room the voice came from - but the party is already storming the area before they can appreciate her aim.

Inside, a human man is bound and gagged on a tipped-over armchair. Soot (using one of Bree's daggers) and Wren (using her claws) work on removing the bindings, while Bree opts to buy them time at the door. The first goblin that enters is quickly dispatched by her makeshift wand, just as Wren finishes the arm bindings and begins to clear the window (likely broken due to the Thunderwave) of broken glass with her stick. The second and third goblins enter armed, however, and Bree can only take one out...the other is taken care of by a bolt to the head. The man, as it turns out, had somehow carried a crossbow up his sleeve, and urges the party to hurry with the rescue. Soot and Wren having finished their respective tasks, it doesn’t take long for everyone to escape through the window, trusting the hedges more than Wren to break their falls. Soot barely survives the process, Lili and the man manage to get out without incident, and Bree leaves the residence with a flip and a flourish to cap off her triumph.

A safe distance away, back in the forest, the man expresses his simultaneous thanks and desire to not be in the presence of the strangely-composed group, but not before they request answers. He reveals himself to not be the owner of the mansion (and thus recipient of the letter), but a grandson, who was taken by the goblins on the most recent visit. Although unaware of his grandfather's whereabouts, he does offer to deliver the letter for the party, which Bree refuses as a matter of professionalism. Wren suggests a trip back to Plumluck, which the man is leery to conduct with them - luckily for him, Wren doesn’t want to take more of his time either, and offers an uncouth dismissal which is accepted hurriedly and without complaint.

The return trip is happily uneventful. Within the city, they stumble upon the old bear in front of a temple, where he is quickly held at wandpoint by a thoroughly aggravated halfling. Stammering, the priest (?) insists that it really was meant to be a simple, even “overpaid” delivery job and not a search and rescue through a goblin fortress. Swayed by Bree's indignation, he reluctantly offers an extra 15 GP for each plus payment of the unanticipated 4th member they picked up along the way, in exchange for taking the letter back, researching the situation, and possibly contacting them again with another job. They agree, he slips with relief into the temple, and the two parties eventually make the promised exchange (which Wren and Lili don’t see the immediate use of), parting ways.

They wander, searching for somewhere to spend the night. (Wren's suggestion of sleeping outside with Lili as watch doesn’t quite captivate.) Bree learns with distaste that most everything in the town costs 100+ GP, deciding that the bear was definitely stiffing them, while the two more unfamiliar members simply take in the sights and activities that go on and attract strange looks in turn. They come across a poorly decorated, faux-steampunk bar called the Tinkerer's Tavern which immediately appeals to Bree (whose last name begins with Tinker, natch). Though she brings Soot in, Wren is more interested in observing the many outdoor stalls, and Lili decides to go along with her strange new friend.

Inside, hunter and ward find a halfling woman with an empty bar and an imposing machine, who introduces herself as Widget. The barkeep's stock offerings are ignored by Soot, who’s much more interested in the machine - and she’s happy to explain its function. Apparently her own invention, the Crusher™ does about what you’d expect, which she demonstrates by grinding down a ruby and pouring the powder mixed with...rum, creating a shot glass’ worth of the dubious but popular concoction she calls the Ruby Delight™. Soot is pleased as punch to down the drink before Bree can stop him, somehow managing to hold his liquor and even recover 1 HP rather than damage his intestines. Widget's machine is also infused with magic, she explains, turning the most questionable mixtures into tasty and healthful offerings.

Although she extends an invitation for more at the usual price, Bree steps in to stop the preteen from consuming any more alcohol. With his curiosity sated, Widget gets down to the matter of the strangers’ business in Plumluck, growing increasingly worried as she hears about Soot's past, injuries, and casual mention of the idea of sleeping outside. With business slow as it is, she offers the two a simple room in the back, free of charge. Too tired at this point to go wandering around town for the other two, Bree and Soot give their thanks and retire for the night.

Elsewhere, Lili and Wren have watched the shops for long enough to understand the basics of money's use. They come across a grill, where Lili is enticed by a chunk of meat the size of Bree cooking on a spit. Still at Level 0 due to a distinct lack of solidity, she works up the courage to ask for the food's price. The shop's owner, an orcish lady, senses the inexperience of the customers and asks them how much they own, a gambit that Lili sees no reason to question. Wren, sensing something dubious in her manner, immediately contradicts the other by saying that she personally has no money, which thankfully goes unchallenged. Nonetheless it’s priced at 170 GP, a scam offer for a hunk of meat which Lili happily accepts and immediately begins consuming.

The sight of a 7 foot tall exposed woman eating greasy meat with her hands in front of the stall is less than ideal for business, the shopkeep realizes, and she asks the two to leave. Wren, having a vague impression that depriving the woman of customers for a few minutes would enact justice, strikes a laboriously worded riposte by saying that the exchange of gold bought them a right to eat there, and accepts a few bites from Lili to drive the point. Wren and the seller square off for a few minutes, the latter attempting to explain that their kind aren’t very welcome, that they’re causing a scene, and the former parrying every point with bright, feigned ignorance and aggressive friendliness. Finally, Lili lets her know she’s finished the meal, causing the harpy to abscond with a “Bye!” so sudden it leaves the orcish woman and small crowd of onlookers bewildered.

Satiated after the meal, the two realize it’s getting late and decide to go check up on the other half of the party, still somewhere inside the tackily decorated bar. Widget is less pleased to see this particular half walk through the door, but still repeats her usual offers, which Wren is just as disinterested in. Upon being asked by Lili where Bree and Soot are and confirming that the two are associated with them, Widget explains the pity-loaning of a room and expresses reluctance at giving another freebie, an idea which Wren cuts off as being unnecessary. As she explains that she simply wants to check in with the two, Widget gains an inkling and asks if she’s where Soot gained the idea to sleep outside, which Wren is surprised to find makes her sheepish.

Regardless, Widget is made aware of the harpy's distaste for sleeping inside and the two are given directions to the room without further issue, though the confusing experience leaves the bartender reaching for a ruby delight of her own. On the other side, Bree answers the door quickly so as not to disturb Soot, and answers both Wren's greeting and the question of whether they’d be staying together in a sleepy affirmative. Secretly overjoyed, Wren happily hands over Lili, to whom Bree gives the basic rundown of how sleep works and her own bed (deciding that she’s small enough to share comfortably with Soot, while Lili hardly fits the frame). Finally, Wren lets the hunter know of her chosen sleeping place before bidding them a good rest, waving to Widget and leaving the bar to curl up under the city park's comfiest tree.

Nodding off after such an eventful day, the party levels up for their efforts, those in the inn luckily falling asleep before the smell of grease fills the air. Will Bree accept the bear's next contract? Does Soot wake up with a headache? Can Wren learn enough to put her money to good use and justify her presence? Could Lili get a cute outfit, or any outfit at all?! Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of...DreamGeon/Gons Z!