(AiE) The Next Step *Chris Hansen DLC* $5.99

May 6th, 2013
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  1. >Day 22 in your relationship with Sweetie Belle.
  2. >A merry tune escapes your lips in the form of a hum as you make way to Rarity's.
  3. >You and Sweetie Belle happen to be heading out for a picnic on this fine day. The lie this time being that you were just going to take Sweetie to the park to play.
  4. >Oh you two were going to play alright. Today is the day you promised Sweetie Belle that you would teach her about making out.
  5. >It was natural to be a bit worried, but she couldn't stress enough how much she wanted to try it.
  6. >After all, you never could say no to her. That's pretty much what landed you in this position, but you don't care anymore.
  7. >Reaching her door, you use the key she let you keep after you moved out. Something about emergencies, but you were too busy dealing with a crying filly to pay attention.
  8. >As you enter Rarity's, an unfamiliar quiet makes its presence known.
  9. >The boutique usually isn't quiet during this time of day. Not even when Rarity is out with her friends.
  10. "Hello?" you call out without thinking.
  11. >If it's this quiet, it's safe to say that nobody is home at all.
  12. >With a shrug, you decide to wait in the kitchen for when Rarity and/or Sweetie Belle show up.
  13. >Putting on a pot of water to boil for tea, because you can, you walk towards the table to sit down and read the paper.
  14. 1-1
  16. >"Aren't you a little old to be dating a filly?" a familiar voice catches your attention from the doorway.
  17. >"No way..." is all you can think as you take in the sight of the figure standing before you.
  18. >That voice, that face, and even a... small stack of parchment?
  19. "Aren't you a little old to be a filly?" you reply, trying your best to remain calm.
  20. >Is this some sort of dream, or are you actually seeing a second human in this kitchen?
  21. >Worse yet, does he really have to look and sound -exactly- like Chris Hansen? You can only hope your subconscious is acting like a dick because of how you ignored every instance of your conscience telling you not to date Sweetie.
  22. >"Why don't you have a seat over there?" he motions towards the kitchen table.
  23. "Why don't you join me for a cup of tea?" you make the same gesture to the table as you step aside to reveal the pot on the stove.
  24. >A few moments later, and you're both sitting at the table. You're eying the human as your brain struggles to comprehend the imagery that your eyes are sending it. For the Chris-wannabe, he's just going over his parchments.
  25. >Something -needs- to be done, but what? Can you risk this human being the real deal?
  26. >"What were you hoping to do with Sweetie Belle if she had been the one to greet you?" He's so calm. How does he even know about you and Sweetie Belle anyway?
  27. "What were you hoping to tell the authorities if they had been the one to greet you for breaking and entering?"
  28. >The two of you lock eyes, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit nervous or anything.
  29. >"If I was a filly, what would you have done?"
  30. "If I was the homeowner, what would you have done?"
  31. 1-2
  33. >This has to be an act. He's taking each of your responses as if they were actual responses.
  34. >All you can do now is keep up with the reversals until he leaves, Rarity gets back and kicks him out, or some other pony arrives to your aid.
  35. >"Do you think it's okay for grown men to date fillies?"
  36. "Do you think it's okay for grown men to break into homes and ambush people with questions?"
  37. >"Lemme read something here, 'Tomorrow I will teach you all about kissing.' Do you remember saying that?" He looks back up at you after reading from his parchments.
  38. >In response, you hold up the newspaper.
  39. "Lemme read something here, 'Tomorrow I will teach myself all about deep-throating stallions in prison.' Do you remember saying that?" You peer over the paper at him, also taking note of the sale going on at the quills and sofas store. You've been looking for a couch, but that's not important right now.
  40. >He raises an eyebrow at you before clearing his throat. "I think we're about done here, but I have something to tell you."
  41. >You raise your own eyebrow as if letting him know that you're listening.
  42. >"I'm Chris Hansen and you're o..."
  43. 1-3
  45. >You awake with a start as you take in your surroundings.
  46. >Home, with the love of your life laying in bed next to you. Her snores even carry her trademark squeak.
  47. >As she rolls over, her cuteness isn't even hampered by the sloshing noise coming from her belly.
  48. >That filly hates to go to bed on an empty stomach.
  49. >With a light chuckle and a gentle pet on her mane, you slide out of bed and head to the bathroom.
  50. >You set about the task of washing your face after turning on the light and getting a small drink of water.
  51. >It's a wonder you're not screaming right now. Of all humans to show up in a dream, it had to be him.
  52. >You splash your face with some water, dry off with a rag, and soap up your hands to wash them.
  53. >The soap makes quite the audible clunking sound as you stare into the mirror in horror.
  54. "It... can't be." You back away from the mirror a bit.
  55. >"Why don't you have a seat over there?" the reflection asks.
  56. >You woke up from that dream. You're certain you're awake now.
  57. >Slowly surrendering to the hysteria of hallucinating a Dateline reporter in your mirror, you can only watch and listen as it speaks again.
  58. >"I like rape!"
  59. 1-4
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