Metal Gear in Equestria(WIP: Updated 5/25/13)

>Day Metal Gear?! in Equestria.
>You are the advanced AI controlling the monstrous Metal Gear ANONYMOUS.
>Answer to MGs in the Middle East.
>Your friends call you Anon for short.
>You ended up in Equestria after some dick by the name REX nuked you with his railgun.
>Fuck him, seriously.
>After assuming you were doomed to atomization by the nuke, you manually shut down.
>Eh, machines can pussy out, too.
>Strangely, the parameters for your reboot subroutine seemed to have been met.
>But, you shouldn't exist, right?
>Did that dickhat fire a dud?
>I WIL RECK THE CUNT.
>Before your optics finish rebooting you begin charging your mouth laser.
>OPTICS ONLINE.
>You take aim in front of you and prepare to fire.
>"WOW! Is that where you keep your party cannon? I have one of those, too!"
>Wut.
>You scan the area with your 8 megapixel vision and see no REX.
>"Down here, Mr. Metal Guy! My name is Pinkie Pie! I don't ever think I've seen you around before, and I kno-"
>You look down and see a small, excessively pink horse.
>FUCKING GRAAAH!
>You switch to IR vision because that amount of pink is overloading your optics driver.
>Nothing should be that horrendous.
>What monster would design a deterrent so vile?
>OHFUCK, IT'S TEETH ARE BRIGHTER THAN A THOUSAND SUNS!
>You switch back to color and opt to use photoshop CS2 to dim down the pinkness to visually safer levels.
>You need to update shit, CS2 is older than your project's design date.
>After your vision is fine tuned to where you can stand to face the weapon of mass pinkness, you target it with your audio sensors
>"- and since you are new, I have to throw you A PARTY!"
>The shrill shriek and impossible decibels overload your hardware and force a system shutdown.
>The last image burned into your digital retina is of the pink horse's face splitting smile.