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TearyHarpy

Harpy Screams At Insects (and Godzilla too, I guess)

TearyHarpy
Nov 28th, 2018
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  1. A Giant Dork: today did not pan out so well, but at least ivel and i tested a thing
  2.  
  3. A Giant Dork: and now i will watch and maybe not finish godzilla vs megaguirus
  4.  
  5. A Giant Dork: will i finish before 12:30?
  6.  
  7. A Giant Dork: who fuckin knows
  8.  
  9. A Giant Dork: https://gyazo.com/9a4d9d8a1e73ec11190dd9d9c0f67188
  10.  
  11. A Giant Dork: "LETS TRAP GODZILLA IN A BLACK HOLE" "problem, fam" "what" "bug done fucked and laid eggs in there" "THEY FUCKIN WOT"
  12.  
  13. A Giant Dork: also it seems like i have 48 hours to watch this after i've started
  14.  
  15. A Giant Dork: so like
  16.  
  17. A Giant Dork: wut?
  18.  
  19. A Giant Dork: guess cuz its an older, not-so-popular movie
  20.  
  21. A Giant Dork: "buy me", says all the jurassic park movies, posing like a ceratosaurus in fishnets
  22.  
  23. A Giant Dork: and i'm like
  24.  
  25. A Giant Dork: "no."
  26.  
  27. A Giant Dork: wait a second
  28.  
  29. A Giant Dork: that thing said "osaka"
  30.  
  31. A Giant Dork: osaka is
  32.  
  33. A Giant Dork: not tokyo'
  34.  
  35. A Giant Dork: fam, are you drunk
  36.  
  37. A Giant Dork: wow this godzilla looks so good
  38.  
  39. A Giant Dork: also >english dub
  40.  
  41. A Giant Dork: EEEECH
  42.  
  43. A Giant Dork: (just kidding, i'm okay with this)
  44.  
  45. A Giant Dork: re-khan-stuction
  46.  
  47. A Giant Dork: the prononcuation is going to murder me somehow
  48.  
  49. A Giant Dork: wait a second YOU DON"T FUCKIN CHANGE THE CAPITAL LIKE THAT
  50.  
  51. A Giant Dork: that lady so fake mad
  52.  
  53. A Giant Dork: SO IRRESPONSIBLE
  54.  
  55. A Giant Dork: time to just cut nuclear power cold turkey
  56.  
  57. A Giant Dork: "WATER" *pan to water* "WIND"
  58.  
  59. A Giant Dork: *fire*
  60.  
  61. A Giant Dork: ????
  62.  
  63. A Giant Dork: "not all of these could replace... nuclear energy"
  64.  
  65. A Giant Dork: you could just
  66.  
  67. A Giant Dork: use... oh wait its 2004, nvm
  68.  
  69. A Giant Dork: >plasma
  70.  
  71. A Giant Dork: PURASMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- nobody's going to get this.
  72.  
  73. A Giant Dork: is the girl the main char?
  74.  
  75. A Giant Dork: make her the main char
  76.  
  77. A Giant Dork: "IT MAY BE BIG BUT ITS STILL JUST A LIZARD"
  78.  
  79. A Giant Dork: I"M SORRY TELL THAT TO THE PEOPLE WHO DIED FIGHTING A DINOSAUR, NEVERMIND GODZILLA
  80.  
  81. A Giant Dork: t
  82.  
  83. A Giant Dork: i'm not supposed to be laughing but
  84.  
  85. A Giant Dork: https://gyazo.com/f1768e6a89edd2c9c2ca9d74d859f6ec
  86.  
  87. A Giant Dork: MOST AUTHENTIC TRASH CANS
  88.  
  89. A Giant Dork: OH
  90.  
  91. A Giant Dork: SO TRUE TO LIFE
  92.  
  93. A Giant Dork: DAT ACCURACY, UNF
  94.  
  95. A Giant Dork: no really tho i'm giggling over this
  96.  
  97. A Giant Dork: i'm not going to finish this movie tonight
  98.  
  99. A Giant Dork: not if this keeps up
  100.  
  101. A Giant Dork: i also won't finish if i keep being amazed at... how good godzilla looks
  102.  
  103. A Giant Dork: i mean i know its 2004
  104.  
  105. A Giant Dork: but the animation's a teenager that needs encouragement
  106.  
  107. A Giant Dork: its good!
  108.  
  109. A Giant Dork: that sheer look of fear
  110.  
  111. A Giant Dork: the tension
  112.  
  113. A Giant Dork: apprehension as she pulls the trigger
  114.  
  115. A Giant Dork: and the shock when the rocket does absolutely nothing
  116.  
  117. A Giant Dork: i came here for campy shit and all i can be is uselessly stunned by attention to detail and the acting
  118.  
  119. A Giant Dork: went from "despair" to "absolutely outraged from grief" in a few moments
  120.  
  121. A Giant Dork: god that was good
  122.  
  123. A Giant Dork: sir
  124.  
  125. A Giant Dork: those pants are now illegal
  126.  
  127. A Giant Dork: what kind of fuckin food magic trick are you doing
  128.  
  129. A Giant Dork: YES WE KNOW ITS CURRY ON RICE BUT
  130.  
  131. A Giant Dork: HOW THE FUCM<
  132.  
  133. A Giant Dork: DID HE DO THAT
  134.  
  135. A Giant Dork: a food wizard.
  136.  
  137. A Giant Dork: "the bowl is a microwave oven"
  138.  
  139. A Giant Dork: ...did you have to ruin the moment
  140.  
  141. A Giant Dork: did you have to break my heart so easily
  142.  
  143. A Giant Dork: i wanted to believe...
  144.  
  145. A Giant Dork: "AW ITS A TRICK"
  146.  
  147. A Giant Dork: i'd be more amazed that the microbots actually did that shit for you like "HOLY SHIT TECHNOLOGY IS INCREDIBLE! IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE"
  148.  
  149. A Giant Dork: we kidnapped this engineer
  150.  
  151. A Giant Dork: for ~reasons~
  152.  
  153. A Giant Dork: damn they got their shit straight
  154.  
  155. A Giant Dork: oh no when will i get something to joke about
  156.  
  157. A Giant Dork: i'm getting the full tour and i like it
  158.  
  159. A Giant Dork: SHE'S IN CHARGE
  160.  
  161. A Giant Dork: oof, thats some flashbacks
  162.  
  163. A Giant Dork: >plasma weapon
  164.  
  165. A Giant Dork: "MINI BLACK HOLE"
  166.  
  167. A Giant Dork: thats not plasma we're playing with son
  168.  
  169. A Giant Dork: that's
  170.  
  171. A Giant Dork: a fuckin black hole
  172.  
  173. A Giant Dork: I CAN"T BELIVE WIRE FRAME GODZILLER IS DEAD
  174.  
  175. A Giant Dork: da faq
  176.  
  177. A Giant Dork: was that
  178.  
  179. A Giant Dork: *CICADAS*
  180.  
  181. A Giant Dork: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  182.  
  183. A Giant Dork: ohgodno
  184.  
  185. A Giant Dork: that kids show looks like the stuff of nightmares
  186.  
  187. A Giant Dork: no wonder that kid peaced out
  188.  
  189. A Giant Dork: "I COLLECTED SOME INSECTS-"
  190.  
  191. A Giant Dork: ...m-must
  192.  
  193. A Giant Dork: resist urge
  194.  
  195. A Giant Dork: to make joke
  196.  
  197. A Giant Dork: taking it back, they're not even alive.
  198.  
  199. A Giant Dork: GUN
  200.  
  201. A Giant Dork: also of course a kid sneaks into a military base
  202.  
  203. A Giant Dork: because
  204.  
  205. A Giant Dork: why not
  206.  
  207. A Giant Dork: PROTECTION EVERYONE
  208.  
  209. A Giant Dork: *everyone puts on shades like they're about to make a bad pun*
  210.  
  211. A Giant Dork: "you'll go down in history"
  212.  
  213. A Giant Dork: *CHRISTMAS SONG HELL INTENSIFIES*
  214.  
  215. A Giant Dork: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  216.  
  217. A Giant Dork: THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF RUINED I LIVE FOOOOOOR
  218.  
  219. A Giant Dork: I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT WAREHOUSE IS FUCKING DEAD
  220.  
  221. A Giant Dork: >space time distortion
  222.  
  223. A Giant Dork: better call dia up
  224.  
  225. A Giant Dork: i can't believe they didn't notice the kid til now
  226.  
  227. A Giant Dork: gotta make sure he gets a FRONT ROW SEAT TO DEATH
  228.  
  229. A Giant Dork: "he must have seen the firing... " "rightthanks."
  230.  
  231. A Giant Dork: just
  232.  
  233. A Giant Dork: so calm
  234.  
  235. A Giant Dork: so bored
  236.  
  237. A Giant Dork: my god
  238.  
  239. A Giant Dork: "are you a part of that group" "ye" "but YOU"RE A WOMAN"
  240.  
  241. A Giant Dork: ...
  242.  
  243. A Giant Dork: aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  244.  
  245. A Giant Dork: I HATE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS
  246.  
  247. A Giant Dork: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
  248.  
  249. A Giant Dork: love how she blatantly ignored that line of questioning
  250.  
  251. A Giant Dork: not even going to dignify that with an answer
  252.  
  253. A Giant Dork: wow its like earthbound!
  254.  
  255. A Giant Dork: where i go outside and explode in my pjs!
  256.  
  257. A Giant Dork: except i don't find a meteorite with my annoying neighbor who will be responsible of the loss of many lives
  258.  
  259. A Giant Dork: i find a fucking dragonfly kaiju
  260.  
  261. A Giant Dork: eGG
  262.  
  263. A Giant Dork: "my egg now bitches"
  264.  
  265. A Giant Dork: eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww
  266.  
  267. A Giant Dork: YOUR EGG IS LEAKING FAM
  268.  
  269. A Giant Dork: "NO GARBAGE COLLECTION TODAY BRING IT BACK TOMORROW"
  270.  
  271. A Giant Dork: uuuuUUUUUUHM?
  272.  
  273. A Giant Dork: no indicators of... that even being a place to dump garbo BUT
  274.  
  275. A Giant Dork: i'll buy it?!?
  276.  
  277. A Giant Dork: EEEWW SO GROSS
  278.  
  279. A Giant Dork: i can't believe this is the part of the movie i wanna cry at
  280.  
  281. A Giant Dork: uuUGLKGSJ
  282.  
  283. A Giant Dork: GOODBYE WORLD>..
  284.  
  285. A Giant Dork: "bodybuilding, huh? what a waste of time"
  286.  
  287. A Giant Dork: won't be much of a waste of time after you catch THESE HANDS-
  288.  
  289. A Giant Dork: "why need to exercise when you're gonna make godzilla disappear up his own butthole?"
  290.  
  291. A Giant Dork: GLKSJGLKSJGHKLJSGL
  292.  
  293. A Giant Dork: five million years after getting the idea to abuse mod powers just to do "incorrect quotes: ticker edition"
  294.  
  295. A Giant Dork: "i'll come to your rescue-" "better build up your body first"
  296.  
  297. A Giant Dork: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  298.  
  299. A Giant Dork: i
  300.  
  301. A Giant Dork: i hope that's not what sewers look like...
  302.  
  303. A Giant Dork: uuuUUUH?
  304.  
  305. A Giant Dork: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH
  306.  
  307. A Giant Dork: well i guess you could say that kaiju
  308.  
  309. A Giant Dork: buggered off
  310.  
  311. A Giant Dork: hohohoohohoho
  312.  
  313. A Giant Dork: SHE SAID WAIT FOR HER THERE YOU NITWIT
  314.  
  315. A Giant Dork: kladsgjldfjlgkj IGSDOJG GROSSS
  316.  
  317. A Giant Dork: D-DONT MIND ME, JUST DOIN
  318.  
  319. A Giant Dork: BUG THINGS
  320.  
  321. A Giant Dork: gross and cool
  322.  
  323. A Giant Dork: grool.
  324.  
  325. A Giant Dork: cooss?
  326.  
  327. A Giant Dork: look at all that info about this bug that i can't
  328.  
  329. A Giant Dork: fuckin read
  330.  
  331. A Giant Dork: wao we get to learn how the fuck we named this thing~!
  332.  
  333. A Giant Dork: oh no...
  334.  
  335. A Giant Dork: YOU LEAKED SMASH BEFORE SAKURAI COULD CONCEPTUALIZE THE WORLD OF LIGHT
  336.  
  337. A Giant Dork: "pictured: cloud fuckin gettin PASTED"
  338.  
  339. A Giant Dork: dunno why that's the first thing that comes to mind
  340.  
  341. A Giant Dork: but no it a fookin boog
  342.  
  343. A Giant Dork: TIME TO FLYYYY
  344.  
  345. A Giant Dork: POLYGONS-
  346.  
  347. A Giant Dork: UUUUUH?
  348.  
  349. A Giant Dork: uh oooooh
  350.  
  351. A Giant Dork: DUH NUH NUH NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!
  352.  
  353. A Giant Dork: somewhere, out there
  354.  
  355. A Giant Dork: a bug is cackling with a bowser soundclip
  356.  
  357. A Giant Dork: godzilla pissed
  358.  
  359. A Giant Dork: sensed a new kaiju in town
  360.  
  361. A Giant Dork: "FUCK OFF, MY CITY"
  362.  
  363. A Giant Dork: this is a gal ready to kick ass
  364.  
  365. A Giant Dork: WE MONSTER HUNTER NOW BOIS
  366.  
  367. A Giant Dork: OF COURSE WE'D FUCKING CLIMB ON GODZILLA'S BACK
  368.  
  369. A Giant Dork: obvious greenscreen going on here hoboi
  370.  
  371. A Giant Dork: ...clever girl.
  372.  
  373. A Giant Dork: AND AWAY IT GOES!
  374.  
  375. A Giant Dork: *triumphant godzilla fuckin laserbeaming himself into the air song goes here*
  376.  
  377. A Giant Dork: "hey this old bug? ye it old. we thought it exinct. also it swarms and is agressive"
  378.  
  379. A Giant Dork: now imagine fifty of them, all huge and attacking everything!
  380.  
  381. A Giant Dork: OOPS
  382.  
  383. A Giant Dork: HUMANITY DONE FUCKED AGAIN
  384.  
  385. A Giant Dork: h
  386.  
  387. A Giant Dork: HOW DOES THE WATER RISE THAT MUCH IN MATTER OF
  388.  
  389. A Giant Dork: WUT
  390.  
  391. A Giant Dork: you are
  392.  
  393. A Giant Dork: testing the waters of my suspension of disbelief
  394.  
  395. A Giant Dork: ITS A PLANE
  396.  
  397. A Giant Dork: NEROOOM
  398.  
  399. A Giant Dork: flatter me with your geeky planes and infrared
  400.  
  401. A Giant Dork: *wonk*
  402.  
  403. A Giant Dork: oh man these props
  404.  
  405. A Giant Dork: tiny car
  406.  
  407. A Giant Dork: tiny bike!
  408.  
  409. A Giant Dork: tiny everything!
  410.  
  411. A Giant Dork: TRASH CANS WERE JUST THE BEGINNING
  412.  
  413. A Giant Dork: oh no
  414.  
  415. A Giant Dork: SO MANY EGGS
  416.  
  417. A Giant Dork: holy shit she's hot
  418.  
  419. A Giant Dork: CUBS FAN LOCATED
  420.  
  421. A Giant Dork: nnEEEEEEEEEERD ALSO NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE
  422.  
  423. A Giant Dork: HELLOOO NURSE?
  424.  
  425. A Giant Dork: bait begins
  426.  
  427. A Giant Dork: "man i haven't seen the atomic fire lately, wonder whasLJASDGLKJSGODI J OOPS GUESS THEY'RE DEAD"
  428.  
  429. A Giant Dork: to any people with a phobia of bugs
  430.  
  431. A Giant Dork: i don't have a phobia but that scene right there made my skin crawl
  432.  
  433. A Giant Dork: instantly reminds me of an ant swarm that hung out around the front door, inside my house.
  434.  
  435. A Giant Dork: this ain't the movie for you, folks
  436.  
  437. A Giant Dork: now brb laying down and crying for 2 hours
  438.  
  439. A Giant Dork: aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  440.  
  441. A Giant Dork: "FORGET ABOUT THOSE DRAGONFLIES"
  442.  
  443. A Giant Dork: that 48 minutes remaining in the movie will not forget about those dragonflies, lemme tell ya
  444.  
  445. A Giant Dork: godzilla's like "what the fuck"
  446.  
  447. A Giant Dork: LEGIT TERRIFYING
  448.  
  449. A Giant Dork: THIS IS NOT CAMP AT ALL
  450.  
  451. A Giant Dork: SET BUGS ON FIRE
  452.  
  453. A Giant Dork: PURGE
  454.  
  455. A Giant Dork: if only things were so simple.
  456.  
  457. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA 2 FAT FOR BLACK HOLES
  458.  
  459. A Giant Dork: how do you play yourself at chess bro-
  460.  
  461. A Giant Dork: that
  462.  
  463. A Giant Dork: isn't speepy godzilla is it
  464.  
  465. A Giant Dork: no way
  466.  
  467. A Giant Dork: no...
  468.  
  469. A Giant Dork: its worse than that.
  470.  
  471. A Giant Dork: MAGNETOBUUUUG
  472.  
  473. A Giant Dork: BIGGER
  474.  
  475. A Giant Dork: ANGRIER
  476.  
  477. A Giant Dork: FLYING BATTRA
  478.  
  479. A Giant Dork: no its just this fuckwad
  480.  
  481. A Giant Dork: AAH MY EARS
  482.  
  483. A Giant Dork: JESUS
  484.  
  485. A Giant Dork: SOUND WAVES ARE FUCK
  486.  
  487. A Giant Dork: oh god the fucker was an invincibug
  488.  
  489. A Giant Dork: i can believe it
  490.  
  491. A Giant Dork: who'd want to fucking go near it?
  492.  
  493. A Giant Dork: ...aside from bug dorks
  494.  
  495. A Giant Dork: i am decidedly not in the bug fandom, soz
  496.  
  497. A Giant Dork: man godzilla is fucking addicted to tokyo
  498.  
  499. A Giant Dork: here come the cheesey effects!
  500.  
  501. A Giant Dork: HERE WE GO BOIS
  502.  
  503. A Giant Dork: I'M TIRED AS FUCK BUT HERE WE GO
  504.  
  505. A Giant Dork: awkwardslomo
  506.  
  507. A Giant Dork: BUG TOPPLED GODZILLA
  508.  
  509. A Giant Dork: HOLY DICKS
  510.  
  511. A Giant Dork: DUNKED
  512.  
  513. A Giant Dork: FERRIS-WHEEL DID NOTHING WRONG
  514.  
  515. A Giant Dork: can't believe godzilla's got no IVs in speed
  516.  
  517. A Giant Dork: casual reminder to backup everything onto a usb-
  518.  
  519. A Giant Dork: oh, no usbs in 2001?
  520.  
  521. A Giant Dork: well fuck
  522.  
  523. A Giant Dork: aaaAAA GROSS MOSQUITO NOISES
  524.  
  525. A Giant Dork: fuck THAT building iGUESS
  526.  
  527. A Giant Dork: SURPRISE BITCH
  528.  
  529. A Giant Dork: godzilla so fuckin salty right now
  530.  
  531. A Giant Dork: using the speed against it?
  532.  
  533. A Giant Dork: hoooOOOO
  534.  
  535. A Giant Dork: get fucked, shedinja
  536.  
  537. A Giant Dork: DUUUUNK
  538.  
  539. A Giant Dork: C'MON AND SLAM
  540.  
  541. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA USED BODY SLAM
  542.  
  543. A Giant Dork: this part is so cheesy
  544.  
  545. A Giant Dork: also he has good tastes-
  546.  
  547. A Giant Dork: blepping intensifies
  548.  
  549. A Giant Dork: HADOUUUKEN!
  550.  
  551. A Giant Dork: oh shit that toppled godzy
  552.  
  553. A Giant Dork: OOH NO
  554.  
  555. A Giant Dork: OOOF
  556.  
  557. A Giant Dork: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED
  558.  
  559. A Giant Dork: i'm sorry, mixed up shedinja with ninjask
  560.  
  561. A Giant Dork: either way, godzilla is acting like me after i fucking land a hit against a double teaming ninjask who can't fucking stop gaining speed, piece of shit-
  562.  
  563. A Giant Dork: RIP bandai
  564.  
  565. A Giant Dork: suspicious...
  566.  
  567. A Giant Dork: Godzilla vs. Satelitte
  568.  
  569. A Giant Dork: the true final boss of this movie
  570.  
  571. A Giant Dork: >greed and politics involved in why godzilla is back again
  572.  
  573. A Giant Dork: "plasma will bring great wealth to our country..." "and also guaruntee you a high position."
  574.  
  575. A Giant Dork: *traumatic flashbacks to JP*
  576.  
  577. A Giant Dork: WELL
  578.  
  579. A Giant Dork: AT LEAST IN JP THE CASUALTIES ARE MINIMIZED
  580.  
  581. A Giant Dork: NOW EVERYBODY FUCKIN DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT FAM
  582.  
  583. A Giant Dork: may godzilla eat you in the not-so-distant future
  584.  
  585. A Giant Dork: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAT PUNCH
  586.  
  587. A Giant Dork: UUUUUGGH
  588.  
  589. A Giant Dork: YESSSS
  590.  
  591. A Giant Dork: sock him again i beg you
  592.  
  593. A Giant Dork: ....pl-please dont' actually kill the main char
  594.  
  595. A Giant Dork: DOINK
  596.  
  597. A Giant Dork: godzilla, the fool
  598.  
  599. A Giant Dork: firing a fucking laser at a black hole
  600.  
  601. A Giant Dork: YEYAOIGFJUSGIJ
  602.  
  603. A Giant Dork: also "whyy ouwannatalktomesobad? gottacrushonmeorsomthing?"
  604.  
  605. A Giant Dork: his face says it all
  606.  
  607. A Giant Dork: ye.
  608.  
  609. A Giant Dork: OKAY
  610.  
  611. A Giant Dork: i fucking stayed awake and its not even 12:30
  612.  
  613. A Giant Dork: mission accomplished!
  614.  
  615. A Giant Dork: not as campy as i thought it'd be
  616.  
  617. A Giant Dork: i really like how they handled the romance subplot, very subtle, and didn't make it all about it
  618.  
  619. A Giant Dork: the main lead is a fucking badass and she's not like, overly sexualized or anything like
  620.  
  621. A Giant Dork: holy shit they really handled her very, VERY well, which is
  622.  
  623. A Giant Dork: kind of rare in movies
  624.  
  625. A Giant Dork: more uncommon but still
  626.  
  627. A Giant Dork: also you are a bloody liar if you don't think the best moment in the movie, right up there with the kaiju slapfights, is her fucking decking that fucker
  628.  
  629. A Giant Dork: speaking of kaiju, while the effects were kinda cheesy "hi mom i know how to CGI!" stuff, it didn't really destract from things aside from a few specific moments
  630.  
  631. A Giant Dork: bug very dangerous
  632.  
  633. A Giant Dork: also bugs are legitimately terrifying, unlike "Friendly Neighborhood Mothra"
  634.  
  635. A Giant Dork: 8/10, good shit, would absolutely watch it again
  636.  
  637. A Giant Dork: NEXT TIME: Ghidorah gets his Just Desserts
  638.  
  639. A Giant Dork: and probably back to male leads
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