/V/irgin In Equestria - Chapter 3

>A cool breeze brings you to your senses.
>You're propped up against one of the pillars in the throne room next to an open window. The p0nies are at your side.
>“Feeling better?” The purple unicorn asks.
>You look at her.
“A little. Can one of you pass me my rucksack?”
>They look at each other, puzzled.
“The thing I was carrying, my bag.”
>You point over to where you left it.
>You barely look away for five seconds before you luggage is thrust in front of you.
“Thanks.”
>You unzip it, rummage around inside and pull out a bottle of water. You chug the whole thing in no time at all: You haven't drunk anything since leaving the cottage this morning.
“I needed that.”
>After putting the empty bottle back in the bag, you stand up, leaning against the pillar for support.

“So is anyone going to answer me?”
>“Answer what?” The blue pegasus responds.
“Why I can understand everything you're saying. All of you were talking totally different earlier,  now you're speaking perfect English.”
>“Magic.” The winged unicorn says, “I used my powers so it became possible for us to communicate with you.”
“And you all can understand what I'm saying?”
>“Yes, it works both ways. You'll be able to read our written language too and we can do likewise with yours.”
“Fair enough.”
>Hang on...
“Did you just say magic?”
>“Yes. It is a common ability after all.”
“First I've heard of it.”
>“Don't you remember?” The purple unicorn asks, “We used it so we could bring you here.”
>You recall a brief foray of levitation and a flying rope being tied.
“Oh yeah. Sorry about that anyway, I wasn't thinking straight. I shouldn't have come at you lot with that knife.”
>A thick silence fills the space.
>“What?” The winged unicorn doesn't so much inquire as boom.
>You feel the spaghetti beginning to ooze out of your pockets.

“Err...”
>The winged unicorn walks right up to you, forcing you against the wall.
>“What did you do?”
>Although it's tall enough to stare daggers into your eyes, you're more concerned about the attached two foot long pointed horn that's resting above your head.
>“What. Did. You. Do.” Each pause was deafening.
>The spaghetti is pouring out now, a veritable torrent of pasta.
>“Princess, wait!”
>Princess?
>“Nothing happened, it was just a misunderstanding! It was just frightened!” The purple unicorn says in your defence.
>You nod rapidly.
“Yes. Yes I was. Very. Unbelievably...”
>...Wait a minute.
>You turn to the unicorn.
“Did you just call me an it?”
>“Er...”
“Excuse me but I'm not an it. How would you like it if I called you and your friends 'its?'”
>You turn your attention back to the Princess.
“I apologise for being blunt, I've only been here a day and a half. This is all very confusing for me so it would be great if you could get the King or Queen in here, I would love to get this all sorted out so I can get out of here. Got shit to do, you know how it is.”

>“What?” The Princess says, not used to this informal tone.
>You sigh.
“Okay. I'm sorry I threatened your child with a weapon. It was stupid, I admit that. If I had known she was related to royalty, I would have restrained myself better, but if you had been through what I had the night before you'd understand. I had no way of knowing if these six here were friendly or not so I just reacted. Now, Princess (you really put some emphasis on the word), could you please get your mother or father in here so I can talk to them? I assume monarchies work the same here as where I'm from.”
>COOL FACE, I summon you!
>All is quiet.
>You look at the p0nies' faces.
>Their shock is indescribable. The closest you could compare it too was a time at work when one of your co-workers, after being told he was being let go, took a baseball bat and went to town on the shelves.
>The two unicorn guards by the throne burst into hysterical laughter.
>You continue looking the Princess straight in the eyes until you're nudged in the side. Looking down you see the purple unicorn, wanting to talk to you. You crouch down and she whispers in your ear.
>“There isn't a King or Queen, Princess Celestia rules us. Oh, and I'm not her foal.”
>You stand back up and resume your staring match.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwT8FOyXkMw
>What's this? COOL FACE is evolving!
>COOL FACE has evolved into POKER FACE! Give POKER FACE a nickname?

>You briefly wonder if you would feel your neck snap if you hurled yourself out of the window right now.
>Meanwhile, you've produced so much spaghetti from your pockets that with enough time, you could reach the Moon on a ladder made entirely out of the substance.
>Nope, your jimmies are too rustled.
>You get on your hands and knees.
>You wish it didn't have to come to this but... well... you don't really have any other choice.
“Whatever you want, I'll do it without complaining. Lick your hooves, run naked through the city, be your squeeze on the side, anything. Just... don't execute me. Please...”
>God damn it all, you're beginning to cry. Hopefully, this will multiply you pathetic factor for this Princess to pity you enough to spare your life.
>Everything goes quiet again. Then laughter erupts from all the p0nies in the room. You look up. Even the Princess is joining in!
>“Oh!” She eventually says once she's calmed down a little, “Oh my, I haven't laughed like that in years. Get up from the floor. Please, you'll get yourself dirty.”
>You stand up. You notice that everyone else is in stitches. The two guard unicorns are having trouble standing up.
>Reasoning.exe has experienced a problem and needs to be restarted.
>The Princess clears her throat, “I think it would be nice if we all went to have some refreshments, don't you think?”
>The other p0nies manage to reclaim some sense of decorum, agreeing that food does sound good.
>“Come on everyp0ny,” She says as the golden doors open, “We'll take our meal in the breakfast room.”
>You grab your bag from off the floor and hurry along behind them, confused at what just happened.

>You are led to a smaller area compared to the throne room but it was still huge in your opinion.
>A large semi-circular table dominates the space. Princess Celestia sits at the centre and the purple unicorn sits beside her. There are no chairs yet again, just large plush cushions that in all certainty have had many bare pony asses on them. Not wishing to be rude however, you sit down next to the unicorn who's in with the Princess. The orange p0ny places herself next to you. The rest of them sit wherever: you don't really pay attention to the spots they pick.
>Food and drink is brought in by serving staff. They recoil in surprise when they see you sitting at the table but the Princess alleviates their fears, saying that the guards will intervene if anything untoward does occur.
>You examine at the spread laid out in front of you.
>There are sandwiches, none of them with a meat filling. Not that you expected there to be anyway, you're guessing these p0nies are herbivores like the ones your familiar with back home. You pass on them.
>Biscuits, yeah sure. You take a couple. Pastries? Why not, an éclair or two never hurt anyone. Cake? Definitely. You spot one that resembles a Victoria sponge, so you take a slice.
>As for drinks, they have water, fruit juice, a variety of teas and... is that coffee?
>You pour a cup and inhale the aroma.
>By our Lord in heaven it is and damn does it smell good!
>You add two teaspoons of sugar and a splash of cream. Giving it a tiny sip, you swish it around in your mouth to get the full range of taste. For lack of better words, it is the most perfect cup of coffee you have ever drunk. Grabbing the slice of sponge, you stuff it into your gaping maw.
>“Is everything satisfactory?” The Princess asks you.
>You turn to her with a mouthful of cake. You smile and nod. She laughs.
>“Good good. Dig in everyp0ny!”

>As you continue shovelling confectioneries into your mouth, you spot out of the corner of your eye the Princess' non-daughter using her magic on a quill to write something down on a piece of paper, muttering something while doing so.
“Pardon?”
>“Ah! What?”
“You said something just now. What was it?”
>“Oh. Nothing, I was just talking to myself.”
>You take a glance at the piece of paper. The Princess was right when she said that you'd be able to read their language. Despite the text being written in pictograms, they might as well have been listings from a TV guide.
“'Subject enjoys eating sweet food. Seems apprehensive of vegetables.'”
>You sigh and look at the unicorn.
“You know you can ask if you want. I'm not going to say no. And don't call me 'Subject,' I do have a name you know.”
>“Oh...okay. What is it?”
“You first. I think you owe me at least that much after tying me up.”
>The Princess' ear twitches.
>“What is he talking about Twilight?”
>The unicorn begins grinning nervously, “Err, well you see Princess...”
“Nothing to worry about your Majesty, just a misunderstanding. Isn't that right Twilight?”
>“Yes. You know, language barriers.” She quickly adds.
>You have a chuckle at making her squirm a little.
“Do you have a second name? Twilight is a bit short don't you think?”
>“It's Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle”
>You hold the cup to your mouth.
“Twilight Sparkle... interesting.” You say, taking a gulp of coffee.

>You turn to your right.
“How about you next? What's your name?
>The orange p0ny swallows the food she was chewing.
>“Applejack.”
“Applejack. Nice to meet you.”
>You hold out a hand.
>“What are yer doing?” She asks.
“Waiting for you to do the same, with a hoof instead of course. It is customary when meeting new people to give them a handshake as a sign of friendship right?”
>“Oh sure!”
>She grabs your hand with both of her free hooves and rapidly shakes. It feels like she's going to snap your hand off at the wrist.
>“Yer quite the friendly critter now, aren't ya?”
“Thanks!”
>She lets go. Your wrist feels as if it's been through a game of Ninja Gaiden Black in one sitting. This Applejack is a lot stronger than her size lets on.
“I have to say I was impressed with the way you used that lasso, even if I wasn't able to say so at the time.”
>She smiles, “Well thank yer kindly. Ah don't often hear non-p0nies say that ta me.”
>You hear Twilight writing again, “Subject familiar with concept of friendship.”
>You catch Celestia's eye and she shrugs.

>Turning back to your objective of learning about these p0nies, you get the attention of the pale blue pegasus at the end of the table.
“Who might you be then?”
>“Rainbow Dash, fastest pegasus in all of Equestria.” She gives a little salute.
“Really.”
>“I sure am! I'm the only pegasus who can pull off a sonic rainboom in the whole world!”
“Uh-huh, you'll have to show me sometime.”
>She giggles and rubs the back of her neck. The competitive sort by the sound of her, you conclude. You might have called her a tourneyfag but you haven't known her for long enough yet. Huh, the winged ones call themselves pegasi too, interesting coincidence. Must be the magic making the connection in your brain for you. You wonder what a sonic rainboom is. Must what they call a sonic boom you assume. She has to be boasting, no living creature can fly that fast.
>You turn to Twilight.
“What's Equestria?”
>“That's the land we live in which the Princess rules over.”
“Got it.”

>You adjust yourself so you have a better view of the opposite side of the table. You try to get the pink one's attention even though she's busily eating three whole cakes at once, an impressive feat.
>“Pinkie!” Twilight calls out after you unsuccessfully do so for the sixth time.
>A pair of googly eyes beams at her. A cream covered face is soon taken care of by a swipe of her tongue.
>“Yeah Twilight?”
>The purple unicorn points at you. You blink and suddenly the pink p0ny is on the table right up in your face.
>“So are you liking it here in Equestria?” She blurts out.
“Yeah, it's a nice place. This city is amazing, I real-”
>“I know right? It's so big and bustling and busy and,” a pause for an intake of air, “There's so much to do and see but do you know what you need?”
“What?”
>“A PARTY!” She exclaims, throwing herself into the air, “I throw the best parties, all the p0nies in P0nyville say so. Pinkie Pie, party extraordinaire! When we get back to P0nyville, I'm gonna throw you a big welcoming party! What do you think?”
>You hate going to parties. The music's always too loud, you end up talking to people you don't want to associate with and after a while you wished stayed at home to work on your backlog.

“What sort of party?” You inquire.
>“A fun one of course! There'll be music and games and-” There's another huge inhale, “Streamers! We have to have streamers! Do you like streamers?”
>She stares at you intensely. You're not getting away from this without an answer.
“Streamers sound... fine.” You force out, “I'll leave the planning in your capable hands... I mean hooves.”
>She grins at you joyfully before returning to her cake which she promptly buries her face in.
>You turn back to Twilight.
“I haven't let myself in for anything horrific, have I?”
>“Oh no, Pinkie's parties are really good. You'll have a great time.”
“If you say so. What's P0nyville by the way?”
>“It's the town where we all live.”
>You nod. Must be that village you passed earlier.

>Your attention is now pointed towards the white unicorn sitting on Celestia's other side who's simultaneously levitating and stirring a cup of tea.
“Excuse me?”
>The p0ny doesn't so much look at you, instead casting a cursory glance. The elegance is practically rolling off her. At this moment, you also begin to wonder where all the men are.
>“Yes?” She calmly responds.
“Might I be so bold as to ask you your name?”
>She settles the cup on the table and clears her throat.
>“I am Rarity.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
>“The pleasure is all mine. I must say, you are quite well spoken. I was sure you were some deranged beast from the wild lands when we first met.”
>You chortle at the remark.
“I aspire to apply a considerable quantity of my vocabulary whenever feasible.”
>She smiles softly and goes back to her drink. She seemed to like that show of language proficiency. You make a point to do so again in the future if you're ever around her.

>One p0ny left.
>You haven't said anything yet but already she seems dismayed that you've finally reached her. She does her best to avoid eye contact with you.
>You turn to Twilight.
“Is something the matter with her?”
>Twilight shakes her head, “She's just a little nervous, that's all.”
“A little? Look at her.”
>Both of you look at the yellow pegasus. She's fixated on the sunset outside.
>You stand up.
>“What are you-” You hush her by holding out your hand.
>You tiptoe over to the pegasus and stand behind her.
“Nice view, isn't it?”
>She squeaks and huddles down, hoping that you'll disappear.
>You squat down next to her.
“What's wrong?”
>She whimpers something but her voice is so soft, you can't even make out what she said.
“Come again?”
>She says something but again, her voice is too faint. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she wants to get away from you.
“Hey, relax. I'm not going to hurt you.”
>You place a hand on her head. She flinches at the touch.
“Come on. Look at me.”
>It takes a short while but she slowly does so. That face she's making, you don't think it's possible to see anything cuter right now.
“What's your name?”
>“F-Fluttershy...”
“Nice name. It suits you.”
>You tickle her under her chin.
“Cheer up girl, there's no need to be upset. You'd think I was going to rip you to pieces.”

>You're about to stand up and walk back to your spot when you feel a tug on your trouser leg. You look back down to see Fluttershy holding onto you. How she's doing so without hands briefly flies through your mind.
>“Mr. Anon.. I... Um...”
>She mumbles to herself as she tries to find the right words.
>“W-What do you do?”
“What do you mean? Like a job?”
>She nods.
“I work at a supermarket, a shop. I stock shelves mostly.”
>“S-So you're not a h-hunter?”
>This catches you off guard.
“No. What makes you think that?”
>“The Hydra.”
“What about it?”
>She shivers, “It's just you... you killed it. You made it look so easy, have you done that before?”
You laugh, “Only in games and normally when there's other people helping.”
>She has a look on her face as if her greatest fear has manifested itself in front of her, “Y-Y-You kill animals... for sport?”
“What? No! I would never do that.”
>“But you just said...”
>Damage control alert! Everyone else looks similarly creeped out. How are you going to explain this in a way they would understand?

“Fluttershy, listen to me. Back home, humans have these machines called computers we play make-believe games on. When I said I've... dealt with Hydras before, I mean in one of those made-up games, not real ones. They don't exist back home, not even in museums. No blood spilt, understand?”
>She nods but you can tell she doesn't like the idea. Turning to see the others, they don't approve either. You suppose the way these p0nies deal with monsters is by making some sort of concession or running away. The concept of fighting back probably doesn't even enter into their minds.
“I know I've caused you a lot of trouble but I'll make it up to you. I don't know how but somehow I will. I promise.”
>Fluttershy looks up at you.
>“You really mean it?”
“Really really. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.”
>She looks at you as if you've told her every kitten in the world was just diagnosed with cancer.
“What?”
>You turn to look at the others. They too look a little disturbed.
“Seriously, what is it?”
“That phrase you just used.” Twilight spoke up, “What did you say?”
“...Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye?”
>They all look overcome by your words.
>“Dear, you're not really going to do that, are you?” Rarity asks.
“What?”
>“Stick a needle in your eye and die, darling. That's positively horrid!”
“Of course not.”
>“Then why would you say so? Are you trying to make us all ill?”

“It's just a turn of phrase. You say stuff like that to show how serious you are.”
>“Oh!” Said Pinkie Pie, “Like a Pinkie Promise!”
“A what?”
>“A Pinkie Promise! It's what I say when I absolutely-dootly mean to do something. 'Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!'”
>You have to admit, that does sound better and less morbid. You turn back to the pegasus.
“Okay, forget what I just said. Fluttershy, I... Pinkie Promise to make up for all the trouble I've caused you. Cross my heart and hope to fly... stick a cupcake in my eye.”
>She brightens up. You scratch one of her ears before sitting back down. After that mental exhaustion, you need another cup of coffee.
>“What are you going to do?” Twilight whispers.
“Don't know. I'll figure something out later.”
>As you drink your coffee, something does come to mind: you'll probably have to move the Hydra's corpse away from Fluttershy's house, though how you'll accomplish that is still unknown. You don't think the yellow pegasus would like you chopping the body into smaller pieces.
>After half a cup, Twilight coughs. You don't pay attention until she does it again, louder this time.
“Yes?”
>“Aren't you forgetting something?”
“...Oh right. My name.”
>Twilight leans forward in anticipation. A hush comes over the room as if a great universal truth is about to be revealed.

“Anon.”
>There's a pause.
>“Anon? That's it?” Rainbow Dash pipes up.
“Well my full name is Anonymous but I prefer Anon; people have a problem remembering that though I can't see how, it's not really that hard.”
>The purple unicorn stares at you.
“Something wrong?”
>She snaps out of her daze, “Huh? Oh nothing. It's just... well, I wasn't expecting that to be your name.”
“And you were expecting...?”
>“I don't know, some sort of crazy outer space alien name, like... Quifflax or Jangom Mahlingo.”
>You laugh at the p0ny's attempts at come up with something suitable.
“Well I'm not from outer space so Anon will have to do...”
>You swallow another mouthful of coffee.
“Though you could say I am an alien.”

>Now that caught everyone's attention: you've picked a subject they want to hear about. Even the nearby guards are straining to listen.
>“Where are you from Anonymous?” The Princess asks.
>You pause for a second, thinking of a good answer.
“Not from here, I'm certain about that. I don't even know where here is. What did you say this place was called Twilight? Equestria wasn't it?”
>“That's right.”
“Sure. Now if you said Earth, then we'd be getting somewhere.”
>“Earth?” The Princess inquires.
“It's what humans call the planet we inhabit. Equestria is similar in some ways: blue sky, green grass, white clouds, one Sun, one Moon.”
>“But?”
“The differences? Well the most obvious one is sitting here: all of you.”
>The p0nies look uncertainly at you.
>“Would you care to elaborate on that?” Twilight asks.
“Earth doesn't have beings like you living on it. What do you call yourselves by the way, I was about to start calling you Equestrians.”
>“We are p0nies Anon.” Twilight answers, “Me and Rarity are unicorns, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are pegasi, Applejack and Pinkie Pie are earth p0nies. Princess Celestia is an alicorn, the most powerful p0ny in all of Equestria.”
>So they call themselves p0nies too. Guess your label was correct after all.
>Why did she bring up how powerful the Princess is? You didn't ask and you didn't really care either.

“Right. Like I said, we don't have anything resembling any of you on Earth. Okay we have animals called p0nies, but they don't talk, they're not as brightly coloured as all of you are and they certainly haven't built cities. On Earth, humans run the planet.”
>They all seem slightly bewildered at the concept, especially Twilight. She looks like she wants to ask you something but the words aren't there.
“There are other differences too. Your Moon's craters are dissimilar to the ones I'm familiar with. Then there's that Hydra that was chasing me. Those definitely don't exist on Earth unless you count stories. Ah, magic too. We don't have magic, unless you count card tricks and slight of hand.”
>You stare into your cup.
“It's all very unusual. I mean, this all could be a hallucination I'm having; Equestria and everything in it just a figment of my imagination. I wouldn't be surprised.”
>You get a swift jab to your side. You yelp in pain.
>“Did ya feel that?” Applejack says.
>You rub your side. That's going to ache bad tomorrow.
“I did. A lot.”
>“Yer not dreamin' then. Don't worry 'bout it Anon, ya'll figure this out.”
>You pat her on the back, though you'd prefer to slap her on the flank instead.
“I hope so Applejack, I really do.”

>You look outside. The Sun is now beginning to dip below the horizon.
>“Well this has been an enlightening conversation but I think that will be enough for today, don't you think Anon?” The Princess asks.
“I think so. I was afraid you were going to ask me about human history or what it's like to live on Earth next. We'd be here for weeks going over everything if you did.”
>Celestia laughs, “Maybe we'll do so next time.”
“Maybe we will.”
>New mental note: decide on how to break the news that humans are reactionary creatures that argue constantly and are suspicious of anyone different to them while simultaneously ensuring that you don't tar yourself with the same brush.
>The waiting staff return to the room to take away the used cutlery and dishes. You let out a yawn and stand up, stretching as you do.
“My complements to the chef.” You say to the mare taking your plate away.
>“I'll be certain to tell him sir-”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lCD0Syzdhs
>The serving p0ny zips away from you, dropping your plate.
>What the... your phone! You forgot you've had it on this whole time!”
>The guards approach you, horns pointed towards you. The p0nies that you had been eating peacefully with a minute ago have now backed away slightly.
“Easy, be cool guys! Chill!”
>You pat your pockets down. Why did you have to put on your combat trousers?
>Success! God damn it, it's your alarm! You forgot to switch it off for the weekend. The time is still messed up so it thinks it's seven in the morning.
“And...”
>You hit 'Snooze.'
“...Off.”
>All the p0nies relax. You flop back down onto your cushion and toss the phone onto the table, groaning loudly and banging your head on the furniture. That was a fright you could have done without.

>“Anon?”
“Yes Twilight?” You say, still with your face down.
>“What is that?”
“It's just a phone, don't worry about it.”
>“Phone?”
>You sit upright and focus on her.
“Yes a phone, short for telephone. You do have phones here right?”
>She shakes her head.
“Not even landlines? Wired phones?”
>“Leylines?”
“No. Landlines. Land. Lines.”
>“I've never heard of a landline. Is that some sort of geological feature on Earth?”
>Oh what fresh new Hell is this.
“What do you do if someone needs to talk to someone else then?”
>“We send letters.”
“Letters.” You parrot.
>“Yes. Don't they have letters on Earth Anon?”
“Well yeah but people hardly write letters any more, not unless it's a special occasion.”
>“So what do you do instead of writing letters?”
>You stop and think for a second.
>You've been transported by unknown means to a world inhabited by p0nies where at best they haven't even reached the Information Age. You're not even hopeful of them leaving the Edwardian Era: you haven't seen hide nor tail of radio towers, power pylons, motorised vehicles, aeroplanes or even heavy industry since you've been here. Computers are a no-show too. They do have artificial lights - the breakfast room has been well illuminated the whole time – and you recall the fridge back at Fluttershy's cottage – but you assume their energy usage is derived from some magical source.
>How exactly are you going to explain phone calls, emails, instant messaging and video conferencing to individuals from a pre-industrial society?

>“Anon?”
“Technology, Twilight.” You say, “That's what we use. Yep, lots of technology. All day, every day.”
>You pray that will a be good enough answer for her.
>“So your people are very advanced?”
“We like to think so.”
>She levitates the phone off the table and brings it to her face, examining it.
>“So what do you use this 'phone' for exactly?”
“Mainly to talk to people who aren't where you are, among other uses. As long as they have their own phone and you know their number, they could be on the other side of the planet and you could talk near real-time with them.”
>“Fascinating.” She muses over this, “When you say 'number' Anon...”
>You sigh. Time for Telecommunications 101.
“There are millions... no, billions of phones and a good deal of people own more than one. You need the number of another phone so you can call the right one.”
>“How does it work?”
“Something to do with microwave pulses, that's all I know.”
>“Microwaves?”
>You're kidding, you're kidding right? Now we're moving onto physics?
“They're electromagnetic waves, like infrared and light.”
>“What are electromagnetic waves?”
>“Twilight, that's enough.” The Princess cuts in.
>She turns and sheepishly acknowledges that she's gotten a little over enthusiastic. You mouth 'thank you' to Celestia and she smiles back at you. Twilight floats your phone back to you and you pluck it from the air.

“Thanks. Anyway, like I said, it can do other things. You've already heard the alarm clock. I can also play music on it whenever I want to.”
>You run the music player, turn the volume up and get a random song going.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXbQppZoEhU
>“That... is so cool!” Rainbow Dash squeals after it finishes.
“Glad you think so. Got some of my music on here, a few hundred tracks last time I checked though there's space for thousands. I can also tune into radio stations...”
>Static is the only thing you can pick up.
“...When there are radio stations to tune into in the first place.”
>Twilight is hanging onto your every word. This must be what it feels like to have a kid.
“Got a camera built in too.”
>There's no inquiries as to what cameras are. Good. As you tap the screen, Rarity looks a little skeptical, which you notice.
“Don't believe me?”
>“Your little gizmo is hardly big enough to accomplish such a task.” She states plainly.
>You repress a giggle from that double entendre.

>A demonstration is in order. You look around the room for a suitable panorama.
>That will do.
“Miss Rarity?”
>The white unicorn perks up.
“Could I implore you to stand over there, next to that window?”
>She gets up and trots to where you directed her. You do so likewise.
“Am I correct in assuming you've had your picture taken previously?”
>“You are Anon.”
“Good. Strike a pose please.”
>She's unsure at first but quickly turns so she's at an angle to you and slightly raises her right foreleg up.
>Click.
“Thank you Rarity. Would you like to come here?”
>She walks over to you. You get down on one knee and flip the phone around so she can see the screen. Her face lights up and you swear her eyes begin to twinkle.
“Believe me now?”
>She nods earnestly.
>“The clarity! The focus! And so quick too, I normally have to wait days for photographs to get developed!”
“One of the advantages of digital over film. If I had my computer, I could show you the amount of detail it captures, though it's still nothing compared to a dedicated camera. You have to sacrifice quality for the sensor to fit inside the phone's frame I'm afraid.”
>“Oh come now, you could make a refuse pile look like a mountain with this... this phone.”
>You chuckle and shake your head.
“Nah, come on. The phone's doing all the hard work; all I'm doing is pressing a button.”
>“Nevertheless, you're the one who has to chose when and where to push that button. That's certainly takes skill if I say so.”
>She's got a point dude, your brain points out. If she knew about that SLR you've got in your wardrobe, she'd beat you over the head with it if you didn't use it every day.
“Thanks for the compliment Rarity.”

>As the two of you return to your places, you place the phone in front of Fluttershy so she can have a look. She's reasonably impressed and passes it along to Pinkie who gasps at the sight of it. While she talks your ears off about how it would be so great if you could take pictures of all the p0nies she knows, and trust her - she knows a lot, Rarity gets a hold of your phone. As Pinkie Pie natters away, you notice the white unicorn is utterly fixated on your picture of her. You didn't think to judge her as the narcissistic type... no, she definitely isn't. There's something else going on, better keep an eye on her.
>A minute passes and the Princess manages to wrestle the phone away from Rarity, snapping her out of the device's spell. The alicorn peers intently at the image on-screen before levitating it to Twilight who takes it all too keenly. She's clearly more interested in the hardware itself than what it's capable of.
>“Some sort of metal... One side entirely made of glass... Nearly seamless... Smooth to the touch...Hardly weighs anything...”
>You cough.
>“Sorry, here you go.”
>You take the phone and pass it along to Applejack.
“I know you want to figure out how it works but you're not cracking the case open. I got it as part of a contract so I have to watch what I do with it otherwise...”
>Yeah you're not on Earth any more. I doubt the warranty meant to include possible extra-dimensional tampering in the small print.

“In any case, keep your hooves off. I like this phone and I need it to last as long as possible while I'm here. If you like, I can give you an older model for you to tinker with.”
>“Really?”
“Sure. Is a Pinkie Promise good enough?”
>That made her happy. You're drawn away from your conversation by a whistle coming from the direction of one of the guards, where Rainbow Dash is showing the armoured unicorns your snap.
“Ahem!”
>Rainbow Dash blushes slightly and flaps over to you, dropping the phone into your waiting hands. As she drifts back to her place, you stare at the picture. You decide to save it – 'Rarity At Sundown.' Maybe one day you'll get the chance to print a copy somehow. Yeah, when someone who can take you back home turns up.
>“Radiance.” Celestia calls out. A tan earth p0ny with a curly red mane faces her, “Could you prepare the guest quarters? Anon here will be staying with us tonight.”
>“At once your Highness.” The p0ny says before bowing and galloping off.
>“Anon, could I have a moment of your time before I retire this evening?”
>This catches you off guard.
“Err... Of course Princess. Shall we step outside?”
>“That would be best.”
>Both of you leave the room and walk away, out of earshot of the p0nies.

“What do you wish to speak about Princess?”
>She chuckles, “Please Anon, you can call me Celestia.”
“...Okay... Celestia.”
>Wow, that felt so awkward saying that.
>“I have to ask a favour of you.”
>You're not sure you like where this may be going.
“What is it?”
>“When I gave you the ability to understand our language, my mind was briefly linked to yours. I saw... flashes... of your life, of how Earth is.”
>You can see where this is going.
>“I need to know: Is what I saw true? War, famine, injustice. Do those events actually occur?”
>You sigh, part remorsefully for the conversation you were loathe to have, part relief for her not asking about some of the things you've done in private and part annoyance at the cliché.
“I'm afraid so. Always have done, probably will do so for years to come. Why'd you ask?”
>“It's just...” She looks down the hallway back towards the breakfast room, “Twilight. I took her on as my protégé when she was a filly. She's a very inquisitive little p0ny and likes to know every last detail on a subject.”
“News to me.”
>She strains a smile, “Anon, you have to realise you are the most unusual creature that Equestria has ever encountered. Trust me, I know. You're unique and to Twilight, that means every last ounce of knowledge that can be discovered about you needs to be recorded as soon as possible. The good as well as the bad.”

“Let me get this straight: you want me to not tell her that humans go around with a total disregard for the lives of their fellows and the planet they live on, whenever they get the chance. That about right?”
>She nods silently.
“I'll do my best but you know she could discover the truth on her own. Who knows, another human may come along one day and tell her everything you don't want her to hear.”
>“I know. I cannot account for all the possibilities but I need to hear you promise me that you will not tell her yourself. Please promise me at least that.”
>She places a hoof on your chest. Her eyes keenly peer into yours, her expression pleading.
>You don't think you could live with yourself if you said no to that face.
“Do I have to Pinkie Promise or is a regular one good enough?”
>She smiles again, this time with more vitality.
>“Thank you Anon. You are a good person, never forget that.”
>She has no clue, does she dude? Your brain says.
Shut up.

>You're about to turn back to the breakfast room when Celestia stops you.
>“There is one more point I wish to discuss with you. I know you've only been in our world for a day or so but... If you wish, you can stay here in Equestria. I can assure you will be welcomed most warmly in our society. I know this is sudden but... after seeing how your world is...”
“I appreciate the thought Celestia but...”
>“You still want to go back?”
>The Princess' sad expression returns and still does its best at making you feel uneasy. She could guilt you into doing anything.
“Let me think about it, it's a big decision after all.”
>Persuasion successful. There's a flicker of hope in her eyes.
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
>“You shall.”
“Until then your Highness.”
>You bow.
“Good night Celestia.”
>You walk back towards the breakfast room.
>“Good night Anon.” You hear the Princess call out to you as she leaves for her personal chambers.
>You can't help but smirk at how you handled that situation.
>You suave bastard.
>Once you return to the eating area, you find the p0nies talking amongst themselves. The red maned p0ny has also returned.
>“Sir, the guest quarters are ready for you.” She says once she spots you.
“Thank you.”
>“I'll show him Radiance.” Twilight popped up and trotted over, “Follow me Anon.”
“Lead the way.”