Quick Fluff (4/28)

>Took fluffy pony to vet
>fluffy pony complained as usual
>Doctor inspects fluffy pony
>Even gives him a cute little x-ray
>He laughs when he gets the padded lead vest, so cute
>Makes a fuss when Dr. has to prick his hoof, though
>Be in waiting room w/fluffy pony, waiting for Dr.s results
>Dr. emerges
>"I'm sorry, Mr. lolnoname
>but your fluffy pony has terminal cancer... in its penis."
>You're shocked, fluffy pony doesn't understand the concept
"W-... what?"
>"Apparently, your fluffy pony developed extremely potent cancer lumps in its genitals, and they have spread to the prostate, and also his stomach. He has about a week."
>You're stunned
>A tear is shed
>"I think I'll leave you two alone, I truly am sorry."
>You're paralyzed with sorrow for a bit
>Turn to fluffy pony to attempt to explain his imminent mortality to him
>Fluffy pony drowned in your one tear
>At least he got it out of the way

* * *

>Take fluffy to park
>Let fluffy pony play with the other fluffies, hugging and yelling and whatnot
>Meet a very nice female fluffy owner
>Be talking on bench with said fly honey for a while, sipping a coffee you got on the way
>Took the lid off because those plastic things hurt your lips
>Fluffy pony starts grinding at your leg
>"Daddy com pway wif' fwuffy!"
"No, fluffy, daddy's talking to a friend right now."
>Fluffy pony trots off in a huff, groaning about, "Daddy no pway!"
>Talk to lady friend for a bit longer
>Pull up coffee to take another sip
>Your face when fluffy pony explodes out of the cup, splashing hot liquid all over your face
>Fluffy pony yells, "PWAY!" when doing this
>You regain yourself and turn to your lady friend
>She is soaked, too
>Turn, angrily, to your fluffy pony
>He simply makes a pouty face and says, "Bwos befow hows, daddy."
>He's totally right
>Remove fluffy pony from cup
>Toss the remaining coffee on hoe
>Return home to watch movies with your bro
>Fluffy pony loves Kevin Costner
>Pop in Waterworld
>Fluffy pony drowns

* * *

>Own fluffy pony adoption clinic
>Fine man comes in
>"Hello there, good sir. Would you like to adopt a fluffy pony today?"
>"Sure, buddy!"
>reach into the fluffy pony kennels and pick out a young pink colt
>begin to hand it out to the customer
>He reaches out for it
>Begin to crush fluffy pony in your hands
>First, feces and urine begin to leak out of it. Then vomit.
>Finally, the skin breaks under your iron grasp and fluffy pony is no more than a mangled wad of sticky fluff and bodily fluids
>nope.jpg
>Man leaves
>Another job well done

* * *
FLUFFSTEP
* * *

>Have fluffy pony
>Love him to death
>Also, be the lead singer in a rock band
>You practice every thursday
>Fluffy pony hates your music, but just because he's more of a hip-hop/techno fan
>He watches a lot of BET and likes it when anyone's beatboxing in his shows
>He often tries to beatbox himself, but fails miserably
>One day fluffy pony has an accident, and as punishment (it happens to be thursday) he has to sit in the basement and listen to you guys rocking on full blast
>Creative punishment, and no sorry stick needed; you pat yourself on the back
>After practicing you guys' first set, you take a break for some god damn sandwiches
>About half-way through your 'wich, a sound comes from the garage
>Fluffy pony has nocked over your microphone stand and is beatboxing into it
"Fluffy, what the fuck are you doing?"
>"Daddy! Fwuffy make funky beas'!"
>Your friends all hate his stupid noise
>Unacceptable
>You go get the sorry stick and bring it to him to commence punishment
>One smack to the ass, but fluffy pony doesn't stop beatboxing
>Instead, he trucks on, now adding high-pitched screams and shrieks to the mix
>It's even worse
>This goes on a while, but on spank #6 fluffy pony finally stops
>"God, finally! That was retarded!"
>"Fwuffy sowwee daddy... fwuffy jus' wan' be fwesh..."
"I know, but you can't use daddy's mic, okay?"
>"Okay..."

>Your friends think it's time for fluffy pony to go outside and play
>You agree
>You open the garage door
>To everyone's amazement, your fluffy's retarded screeching/beatboxing has attracted thousands of stray fluffies from all over the neighborhood to your driveway
>They pile into your garage to get a look at their new funky friend
>Fluffy pony has invented fluffy dubstep
>Fluffy pony now does this again every friday
>He parts his mane to the side now, like an idiot, and has multiple piercings
>Still gets more pussy than you

* * *
FLUFFY RAPIST
* * *

>You live in a box in an alleyway, in the city
>You get most of your food from the dumpster
>The monsters usually leave some nummies for you in there
>You got left behind by your herd; they called you a meanie fluffy
>You still cry about it
>It's really sad having no friends
>But every once in a while, a fluffy or two passes through the alleyway and you get to have some fun with them
>Today a blue mare came by
>She was scared of you at first, as she rounded the corner of the dumpster, but soon she realized you were just another fluffy
>"Oh, new fwein'! Wanna huggies?"
>Yes, you really wanna huggies - she's a beautiful mare
>You accept this offer of huggies and hug her for a while in your box
>You're about to suggest special huggies when she suddenly wants to go
>"Why fwein' weave?"
>"Fwuffy gotta go fin' nummies fo' babies! Dey hungie. Bye!"
>She turns on a dime and begins to waddle away, her shapely flanks waving in your face
>You really REALLY want those special huggies
>Maybe you could just get a little peek... she might not notice!
>You reach in and grab her tail with your mouth, pulling it up and holding her back simultaneously
>"Huh? Why fwuffy gif' taiw owies?!"
>"You wook good, fwuffy!"
>You catch a glimpse of her peepee place by chance
>It looks REALLY REALLY good
>You're totally ready to give special huggies - you've just forgotten that she doesn't want them
>"Wet mumma fwuffy go! Gotta fee' babies!"
>You easily overpower her and mount her
>Oh yeah, special huggies feel good
>"No! Fwuffy no wanna huggies! Peepee pwace huwt! Fwuffy no wan' mo' babies!"

>After a few seconds, the special huggies are over
>She's exhausted, as are you, and you both simply fall to the ground
>"haa... ha.. how was speshuw huggies?" you ask
>She's real mad about the whole thing - didn't she want them?
>She gets up, yelling about you being a meenie, and stomps on your face a bit
>It hurts
>"Meenie fwuffy! You bad fwuffy, gif fwuffies owies! Now fwuffy haf' mo' babies to fee'!"
>She leaves, still crying and yelling back at you
>You cry
>Why did your herd leave you?

* * *
FLUFFITY
* * *

>Fluffy pony is white with a purple mane
>You've had her for half a day
>She's spend all her time in her safe room so far...
>You've heard fluffy ponies are crazy about hugs and playing and stuff
>Not what you expected
>Maybe you need to approach her?
>You go to her safe room
"Uh, hey, fluffy pony."
>"Hi daddy." she says blankly, not looking back at you
>You lurch forward, leaning down
"Do you, uhh, wanna play?"
>"Ehh, no, fwuffy pwayin' wif' bwocks now."
"Okay."
>Awkward silence
>It's like high school again
>Fluffy pony finally turns around to you
>"Uh, daddy can go now. Fwuffy biwdin' bwocks."
"Oh, uh, okay."
>
>
"Hey, do you, like, want a name?"
>"Fwuffy name fwuffy, dawin'!"
"Oh."
>"Siwwy daddy."
>
>
"Do you want some, like, hugs or something?"
>Fluffy pony looks back and stares at you like you've got a bomb
>"Of COWSE not! No wan' huggies fwom daddy! Daddy ugwy!"
>Huh.
"Oh... uh... eh..."
>"Daddy howwid!" she says, shivers, then returns to hr blocks
"Uh, okay. You enjoy your blocks, honey."
>"'Kay, ugwy!"
>You kill yourself
>Fluffy pony is adopted by a family with more... taste