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- >>18495776 Anon, I'm pregnant...
- >”Anon..I'm pregnant.”
- >You sit on your sofa reading an interesting article on the size of Princess Celestia's ass, when you get the most fascinating news.
- “Why that's just lovely Twilight! Who's the pap-pap?”
- >Twilight shuffles in place, and rubs her foreleg.
- >”Well I haven't been with anypony, but you..?”
- >You fold up your paper, and sit it next to you calmly.
- >You cross your legs, and put your hands in your lap.
- >You take a deep breath, and smile at Twilight.
- >Then you flip your coffee table.
- “DAT'S SOME BOOSHIET BITCH! DAT BABY AIN'T MINE!”
- >Twilight recoils in shock.
- >”What?! Yes it is! You were the only one I've been with, Mr. I-want-to-cum-in-Twilight-Sparkle!”
- >You stand up, and wave your hands as you pace around the room.
- “Naw bitch! I know you be smashin da homies! Dat baby ain't mine!”
- >Twilight growls at you.
- ?”This baby is yours! Take responsibility!”
- >You flip her off.
- “We gon settle dis bitch! Imma prove dat bastard ain't mine yo!”
- >”And how do you figure that simian?”
- >~~~~~four days later~~~~
- >Studio audience applause rings throughout the entire building as the commercial break ends.
- >A metrosexually dressed aged stallion sits on a chair holding some cards in his hooves.
- >The Mareuy clooplevich show.
- >”We're back! Our next guest is a pregnant mother of only nineteen-”
- >The crowd “ooohs”.
- “She says she, and her special somepony Anonymous, lived only for each other, and were madly in love until the day she got pregnant, and he rejected her.”
- >The crowd “Awws”.
- >”Here is Twilight Sparkle.”
- >A video begins to play on a screen behind mareuy.
- >Sad music starts up, and Twilight appears on the screen.
- >”I'm Twilight Sparkle, and me and Anon were special someponys.”
- >More sad music, and monochromatic shots.
- “We planned to get married in a few weeks, so we made love..unprotected to seal our love.”
- >Crowd “Awws” again.
- >You're standing in the green room watching.
- >This shit is ridiculous.
- 1/
- >One.
- >You, and Purpleurkel aren't dating.
- >Two.
- >You did not have sex with Purpleurkel.
- >Like at all.
- >”When I came to him, and told him I was pregnant with his baby, he became a completely different man!”
- >Twilight starts crying.
- “Oh my fucking god.”
- >”Anonymous, when this test proves this baby is yours, GROW UP, AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!”
- >You can hear the audience clapping, and cheering as Twilight goes out to the stage.
- >Mareuy sifts through his cards.
- >”So Twilight! Princess of Friendship. Tell us a little more about Anonymous.”
- >Twilight shifts in her seat, and clears her throat.
- >”Well Mareuy, Anonymous is a immature manbaby!”
- >The audience catcalls, and applauds Twilight's “sauciness”.
- >”He's the father of this baby, and I want him to take responsibility!”
- >More applause.
- >”He's a zigger!”
- >The audience goes wild.
- >DAT'S WACIST!
- >Mareuy laughs, and licks his lips.
- >”Funny you should say that Twilight. This is what Anon had to say-”
- >Your video comes up.
- >Finally they'll hear your side of things.
- >They asked you questions before the show, and you told them straight up you didn't have sex with Twilight.
- >They asked you what you thought of Parasprites. Weird right?
- >They asked if you liked liver, and onions, and mosquitoes. Just weird shit.
- >What did it have to do with a DNA test?
- >Angry music plays, and your shots have a red hue.
- >”Twilight is- a disgusting pile of garbage!”
- >You did not say that shit.
- >”She's a -bland tasteless- purple- blood sucking piece of sh censored!”
- “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
- 2/
- >”I didn't have sex with- nasty hunk of meat!”
- >Shots of you scowling play on the screen.
- >You can't help but look on in shock.
- >”When the tests come back, and it shows this baby ain't mine I want you to- get squished, and die!”
- “Oh. My. Fucking. GOD.”
- >You said originally, you'd help her find the father at the end! This is how Maury back on earth made his living. This pony version is no different apparently.
- >Back on stage, you're getting the shit booed out of you.
- >”Harsh words from the possible father. Come on out Anonymous!”
- >More angry music plays, as you're forced out on stage.
- >The audience pones boo, and hiss at you.
- >You see Princess Luna, and Celestia in the far back doing the same.
- >Shouldn't they be doing royalty shit? The fuck?
- >You give the audience dual birds, as you gangsta lean to your seat.
- >Twilight watches you with hurt eyes.
- >You scoot your seat away from her.
- >More fucking boos.
- >Judgmental ass horses.
- >”Welcome Anonymous! So before you came out, we were told you, and Twilight were something of an item?”
- >You smack your lips.
- “Mang Mareuy, lemme tell you sumin mang. Dis mare a beitch. She sleep all round da neighborhood! She smash all da homies naw meen? She a hoe!”
- >More boos.
- >And, why are you talking like a stereotypical black person?
- >Twilight puts her face in her hooves, and starts to cry.
- >”I just want to be a family Mareuy!”
- “She a slut Mareuy!”
- >More boos.
- >You think Luna just called you a faggot way in the back.
- >Mareuy puts his hooves up to settle the crowd.
- >”Well we won't have to wait any longer. I have the results of the DNA test right here!”
- >Applause rings through the building once more.
- >What a fucking media circus this is.
- >He rips open the manilla envelope a unicorn levitates to him from the side of the stage.
- >You cross your arms, and await the results.
- >”Anonymous..”
- >It gets quiet.
- >Twilight begins to sweat.
- >”You are...”
- 3/
- >”-NOT the father!”
- >Twilight, as if expecting this throws herself onto the ground, and starts bawling loudly, and uncontrollably.
- >You leap up from your seat, and start getting high fives from random audience members,
- >Mostly Zebras.
- >You c-walk on stage with Luna, as Twilight runs to the back.
- >Today was a daytime tv kind of day.
- [image and video replies]
- http://archive.heinessen.com/boards/mlp/img/0184/95/1404106514209.gif
- http://archive.heinessen.com/boards/mlp/img/0184/95/1404140875853.jpg
- http://archive.heinessen.com/boards/mlp/img/0184/95/1404143760555.gif
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1iqJqNHX_g
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