how could i not give you a good enough reply to that, if not by writing something similar to what you just wrote.

you're simply the best thing that's ever happened to me; and i can't explain it further than that. my wish was never to hurt or make you feel angry, even if at some point that's how you saw the whole situation. i could never desire that; and i hope i never make you feel that way again. i'm sorry, and i truly am, that i can not be how you'd like me to, but trust me when i'm saying: i'm trying. i've got a shitty way of thinking, and also overthinking, and i spmetimes need reassurance that you still love me; i dont know how that came across to you, but there's so much stuff going on in my head it's hard to keep track sometimes.

i want you to be as open with me as you'd like me to be with you; since you just said your mood wasn't the best, and i've been noticing you only mention things that make you feel upset whenever we fight. i care about you far too much, and i'd sacrifice anything to keep/make you happy. so, let me.

tonight, i've got my fair share of blame. maybe i didn't express my thoughts clear enough. i let emotions get the best of me. and i truly hope i didnt hurt you with aimlessly words that came over me. some stuff that was said was hurtful, in my opinion, and i hope we dont have to go through this ever again. with that, i don't think you're a bad person. you're far from that. i know how it is for emotions to control you. i've done some extremely dumb stuff when being sad.

i dont think anything you would ever do could stop me from loving you truly and with everything i've got. i can't see a world in which we're not togheter. i can't imagine us being broken up. i just can't.

even if we have to work on this, i don't want us to give up any time soon. i want us to go on, and i don't care about what's it got to take to achieve that. i just want you to know i love you, and even as time passes, something in me will never stop. you're a part of me now, and i could never let it go.

loving someone is scary. it's scary to me. i've never gotten my head around to realizing there's someone in the world who would care about me. i dont know if i'll ever actually understand that, but i'm so so sorry it's causing you trouble. i've used those "hints" to try and say what i had to; i didnt want to trap you into guessing or digging the truth about how i feel. some subjetcs are harder for me to talk about, and it just would've been easier for me to open up that way; i'm sorry again, as it wasn't something i've done purposely to make you feel bad.

usually, i've got the tendecy to overthink every small thing, and it ends up badly. and i dont know if i should adress it or not. for example, the reason i was off yesterday. and why all this started. in a way, im glad we had this conversation, even though it could've been better.

i apologize for being a shitty person and concentrating too much on myself. i should learn to manage myself better, and i'll try to from now on.

with all this said, i just want you to know i love you, a lot, and i hope you never give up on me. or stop loving me. or anything close to that. i just you right here with me, since i feel lonely, and loneliness makes me think and do reckless stuff. i want to feel you with me most of the time, and i hope i'm not overdoing it. if you think i'm asking for too much, please let me know, or if i'm overexaggerating.

this "letter" you sent me was extremely lovely, just like you, and i will hold onto it.
hope you feel better, and that we can fix whatever issue we have.
just remember, i want to be there for you, and with you, during good, and bad, and i hope you want to be there for me too.

with love,
the biggest alpha you've ever met.