Strip Uno

Between missions, the members of the Ayanear-Remnants relaxed in their own ways.

Pyrrha would train by herself in one of the training arenas of Null’s underground facility. The cyborgs would sit down and play video games together in one of the lounges. Weber would spend hours in the armoury familiarizing himself with the various weapons and equipment that Null had stockpiled. And Okuu could be found indulging herself with the many tubs of ice cream in the facility’s mess hall.

Morgan himself would be with Pyrrha, testing his sword skill with Pyrrha’s prodigious talent. But today was a little special. So special in fact that he invited Nanoha and two others to join in.

“So what did you call us here for, Morgan-kun?” Nanoha asked as she sat down at the table. “You made it sound really important.

“Not that I mind, but I’m also a little curious.” Talon asked. “You look excited too, so there’s that.”

“Whatever it is, it had better be good.” Kutsilyo glared, arms crossed. “I was looking to have something to eat before going to sleep.”

“Right, right, hold your horses everyone.” Morgan gestured for calm with his hands. “I know one of you thinks sleeping is more important than this, but I’m going to need to ask you guys for your attention.” He brought his hands together in a light clap, ignoring Kutsilyo’s sounds of protest. “So, it’s come to my attention that the four of us here are quite pent up after time in the base.”

“I guess.” Talon shrugged. “I mean, there’s not a lot I can do besides training and missions.”

“Though I do possess plenty of other favourable activities to participate in, I must admit that your claim has truth.” Kutsilyo grumped. “It does get quite dull in this place.”

“Nanoha?” Morgan turned to the brunette.

“A little bit. I have Fate-chan to keep my occupied usually, but she gets back from missions tired sometimes.” She shrugged.  “So I just help myself to some TV.”

“I still do not understand why anyone would enjoy such meaningless drivel on that strange device.” Kutsilyo said. “Why waste time with like that when better alternatives were available?”

“For your information Kuts, not everyone’s as tough as you are.”  Talon pointed out. “Besides, the rough and tumble chick’s your schtick, right?”

“I am not a chick! I am a Hunter!” the woman surged to her feet and slammed her hands on the table. “How dare you compare me to a newborn bird!”

‘Chick is slang for a beautiful young woman, Kuts. He didn’t mean anything bad by it.” Morgan clarified, and the Huntress settled down. “But the point is clear; all of us here don’t have much else to do in between missions besides training and sleeping. In light of this, I’d like to propose a potential solution to our boredom troubles.” He reached into his pocket and produced a deck of cards. “Uno.”

“Ooh, I’m game.” Talon straightened in his seat with a laugh. “Haven’t played that card game in years

“Me too! That sounds fun!” Nanoha smiled. “Does your world have anything like that, Kutsilyo-san?”

“I know of many card games, but not of Uno.” The Huntress stated, watching Morgan shuffle the cards. “What does it entail?”

“It’s simple really. Someone deals seven cards to the players, who can draw another card from the deck during their turn. Players play a card that either has the same number or color as the card that’s currently on the table. You can also play wild cards to screw the person next to you and further yourself to victory.” Morgan explained, doing flashier and flashier card shuffling techniques. “The first player who plays all their cards wins the round, and the first player who wins three rounds wins the game.”

“It sounds simple enough.” Kutsilyo nodded.

“But,” Morgan grinned. “Considering that we’re all adults here and bored out of our wits, I’d like to put a little twist.”

“Oh?” Talon leaned forward, intrigued.

“The winner of a round gets to pick one of the losers, and has them strip one article of clothing.” Morgan grin grew at the blushes on the girls’ face, while Talon guffawed. “You girls game?”

“S-Strip Uno?!” Nanoha cried, scandalized. “B-But that’s—!”

“I refuse!” Kutsilyo growled. “I will not endure this indignity!”

“Huh. Never thought you were such a pussy, Kutsi.” Talon chuckled when the Huntress glared at him. “C’mon, it’s just a little Strip Uno! What do you have to lose? It’s not like you’re not wearing anything under that outfit of yours, right?” an expectant silence settled over the table, and the cyborg’s eyes widened behind his mask. “No fucking… You’re not?”

“Of course not!” Nanoha choked at the admission and Morgan laughed. “Why would I wear something that I would have to wash over and over again after every hunt? It is simply too troublesome and I lack the time for such a meaningless chore!”

“S-So bold…” Nanoha blushed darkly. Kutsilyo nodded.

“Indeed I am!” the Huntress struck a pose. “The Bold Scarlet Huntress, Kutsilyo du Couteau!”

“I doubt anyone so bold would be willing to chicken out of a game of Strip Uno like you.” Morgan heckled, and Talon guffawed. Kutsilyo glared, but the effect was diminished by the embarrassed flush on her face. “So you can leave, or can put your money where your mouth is and prove you’re as bold as you claim to be. No-one’s judging.”

“I am!” Talon pitched in. Nanoha glared and swatted his arm. “Ow.”

“…Fine.” Kutsilyo sat back down. “But if I win, do not be surprised if I have you take off your pants.”

“Fair enough.” Morgan grinned and dealt the cards. “You first.”

x-x-x-x-x

Okuu hummed with satisfaction as she spooned another mouthful of raspberry ice-cream into her mouth. The flavour was unlike anything she had in Gensokyo, and she inwardly made a promise to bring some back to Satori-sama for a taste. Maybe then she’d be praised and given headpats!

With a half-empty tub of ice-cream in the crook of her elbow, the Hell Raven leisurely walked down a random hallway, more out of boredom than a sense of purpose. She was just about to head back to her room when a frustrated shout caught her attention. Curious, she walked up to the door where the noise came from and opened it just enough to peer inside. She saw—

A moon.

Bright and wide and unblemished.

Luscious and brilliant in the low light of the room.

The Hell Raven’s arms locked up and her half-empty tub of ice cream slipped out of her nerveless fingers. The sudden noise caught the attention of those in the room.

“Oh crap.” A shirtless Morgan croaked.

Talon laughed.

“O-O-Okuu-chan, don’t look!” Nanoha stood out of her chair, and Okuu caught a glimpse of long slender legs and a sleeveless top that barely reached down to cover her undergarments. “C-Cover your eyes!”

“Close the door child!” Kutsilyo snarled, red-faced as she hastily pulled the bottom of her outfit back over her rear. “This is a private affair!”

“S-Sorry!” the Hell Raven complied, hastily letting herself in and shutting the door before complying with Nanoha’s commands.

“Tch. It’s alright.” Okuu heard Kutsilyo sigh, and the rustle of clothes.

“A-Ano,” Okuu peeked through the gap between her fingers, looking at Nanoha. “W-What are you guys doing?”

“We’re playing a card game.” Talon said. “You wanna join?”

“Ooh! Yes please!” the Hell Raven hopped in place, overjoyed at the prospect of playing a card game. “Can I?”

“M-Maybe you shouldn’t Okuu-chan.” Nanoha stammered. “This game is a little too… m-matured for you, I think.“

“Eeeeehhh?!” Okuu pouted. “But I wanna! Pleeeeeaeeese?”

“Nanoha, just let her play.” Morgan groused. “She’s a multi-century old Hell Raven, she’ll be fine.”

“She’s still a child!” Nanoha cried, outraged. ‘Morgan, I thought you were better than this! Why is your inner paedophilia coming out now?!”

“Wha—I am not a paedophile!” Morgan denied, prompting more laughter from Talon. “Where did that come from, woman?!”

“You’re letting a minor play a game of strip Uno!”

“She’s older than all of us here combined!”

“Her mentality hasn’t fully matured yet!”

“Our mentalities haven’t fully matured yet!”

“Would either of you quiet down so we may continue the game?!” Kutsilyo shouted. “You are wasting time and this chair is awfully cold!”

“Mreow~” Talon cat called.

Okuu floated upwards as Morgan dealt her cards. A look at her hand showed that she had two red 4s, a yellow 1, a blue +2, and a +4. She held them ready as the others received their own hands. Kutsilyo, particularly, cackled madly and Morgan cursed his own hand.

“Another interesting round’s coming up, it seems.” Talon noted, playing a red 1. “Whose leading again? Me, right?”

“Just you wait, we’ll get you to shed your pants eventually.” Nanoha groused, tossing a blue 1. “Oh, my hand is terrible.”

“Can’t be worse then mine.” Morgan grumbled, taking a card from the deck. “Fuck!”

“Language, we have Okuu present.” Nanoha chided.

“Hmm…” the Hell Raven considered her hand and drew a card from the deck. Another +4. “You go, Kutsilyo-san.”

“Thank you Okuu.” The Huntress nodded and slapped a +4 on the pile. “Hah!”

“Fiddlesticks.”  Talon cursed, take four cards from the deck. His eyes widened and he laughed. “Ooooh, just you wait until someone reverses it to me, Kuts.”

“Why, what do you have?” Kuts narrowed her eyes.

“Well, let’s find out.” Nanoha smirked and threw a blue reverse. “Hit her Talon-san! Hit her!”

“Eat a +4, bitch!” the cyborg crowed, and the Huntress despaired.

“Damn you!” she cursed, getting her just deserts. “Damn you both!”

Okuu turned to Morgan and threw down a +2.

“WHY?!” Morgan cried, taking two more cards. “What did I do to you, Okuu?!”

“I-It was the only card I could play!” she pouted. “You’re mean, Morgan-san.”

“That’s the way, Okuu-chan!” Nanoha praised, throwing a blue 0. “Punish the bad man who started this game in the first place!”

“I’ve got nothing good, so here.” Talon threw a blue 7. “Kuts?”

“I will get you back for that +4, Talon.” The Huntress growled, playing a blue 4. “Mark my words!”

“Hmm…” Okuu played her red 4. “There.”

“I swear to god, my luck is shit today.” Morgan grumbled as he drew another card. “I haven’t played a damn card yet, damn it!”

“Too bad.” Nanoha stuck out her tongue and played a yellow 4. “Keep at it, Okuu-chan!”

Talon chuckled and played a yellow 2.

“Aha!” Kutsilyo threw a yellow reverse. “You spoke too soon, Nanoha! Talon!”

“With pleasure.” The cyborg chuckled darkly, tossing a yellow +2.

Nanoha cried and buried her face in her arms as she followed through with the punishment. Morgan grinned triumphantly and played a red 1. Okuu looked at her hand and played her last red 4.

“Reverse!” Kutsilyo cried out, playing a red reverse. “Okuu, hit Morgan with a +4!”

“Okay!” the Hell Raven giggled, throwing out her card.

“Nooooo!!” Morgan broke, taking another four cards. “I thought we were friends, Okuu!”

“Aw, I feel sorry for you Morgan.” Nanoha cooed, playing a blue reverse. “Here you go!”

“And I don’t have any blues!” the knight cried, prompting more laughter from the table as her drew another card. “Damn you all!”

“Don’t worry Morgan-san!” Okuu smiled sunnily and played yet another +4. “We’re still friends! Also, Uno!”

Kutsilyo fell out of her chair as four more card found their way into her hand. Talon, still in a laughing fit, played a yellow skip. Nanoha swatted his shoulder as Morgan threw a yellow 3.

“I win!” Okuu threw her last yellow 1. “Yaaaaaay!”

“I hate you all!” Kutsilyo cried, throwing her hand on the table. “All of you!”

“You’re just mad you got +4’d three times!” Talon cackled. “This was a great idea Morgan.”

“No it wasn’t!” Nanoha cried. “This was a horrible idea!”

“Anyway, Okuu go ahead and choose.” Morgan rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Eh? For what?” the Hell Raven blinked.

“You know; to strip.” He shrugged. “It’s strip Uno after all.”

“Hmmm…” Okuu hummed, snapped her fingers, and unbuttoned her top. “I know! I’ll choose myself!”

“Okuu-chan why are—“ Nanoha’s eyes widened. “Okuu-chan stop!”

“Holy cow, I never thought—“

“Morgan, you can’t look! Cover your eyes!”

“What about Kuts and Talon?!”

“I am a woman, fool. I can look all I want.”