Xixi's Patient #1: Cao Noh

A sharp, stinging sensation was not the feeling Cao Noh expected to feel when waking up on the side of the road. Given what he can remember from before he was knocked unconscious, he should be feeling sore. Did he break a rib or something? He can just picture that smug look on the rich son of a bitch who goaded him into a fight. How dare he say those things about his mother!? Just imagining them again starts to boil his blood once more.

He begins to sit up to start working on fixing his wounds, but feels the stinging in his side spike in ferocity like a tiger who had just learned its prey was still alive. His eyelids crack open, sunlight blinding them for but a moment. In that short span of time, he feels something he never expected to happen at this point in time: A very soft hand, one clearly belonging to someone who's never had a callus in their life, was placed onto his forehead as if checking for his temperature. Was someone checking up on him out of kindness? That was the last thing that went through his mind before the hand shoved his head backwards, slamming it back into the dirt.

"Stay still, stupid monkey. Just let grandma handle your boo-boos."

Whoever it was speaking to him, they surely weren't his grandmother. By the sound of their voice, they were only around his age, possibly younger. When his eyes finally opened again, they took in the sight of... something kneeling by his side. Like something one would read from a horror novel, it had a poorly made mask of fur on its head. It had long ears like some demented version of a rabbit, but the snout was replaced by a creepy smile and eyes turned sideways. Straw was poking out of it from every side... or were those twigs? To add to it, a red splotch on their forehead that was likely made of their own blood graced the front of it as well as a rope strung around the bottom and their neck like a noose.

Unfortunately for Cao, he had heard of this person. A lunatic of a physician feared by the common folk for "experimenting" on people. While he was unsure how true those rumors were, he was in no mood to test them. Immediately he tries to spring up, but as if reading his mind, the woman pulled a needle from her mask (so they weren't all straw?) and jabbed it into his hip. A shock of pain ran through his body and his legs felt like jelly. He couldn't even move them anymore! His heartrate started rocketing and he looked down towards his lower body only to see that his legs were already jabbed in several places with needles.

"Gosh, do you ever listen to your elders? Aunty is here to help you, not hurt you~ Now stop moving!"

To accentuate their point, no pun intended, they stuck another needle into his upper arm.

"Your qi is so chunky, like chicken foot soup. It's a wonder you can channel it at all. Are you eating well?"

"What do you... want from me?"

He forces out the question, trying to probe at this stranger's intentions. In his weakened state and her right by his side, he couldn't risk trying to perform the Endless Vitality Meditations technique to heal his wounds. It would leave him completely vulnerable to whatever she going to do. He had to try not to set her off either, or things would go from bad to worse instantly. Thankfully, his question didn't seem to anger her, more just annoy her.

"I just told you! When you see your cousin laying beaten up, would you not help them? Help me!? Aiiyah, you never listen! This is why you aren't married yet, you know!"

Cao has to stop himself from choking on his saliva. What did she just say!? No, he can't get distracted here. This is probably all part of her tricks to keep him docile. There has to be something around to help... him... escape?

"What's with the cock?"

"Don't talk to him. He's in timeout right now."

Despite her warning, he can't quite help himself from looking at the strange sight beside him. A wooden box with a handle on top, almost like a picnic basket, but with a rooster peeking its head out of a hole in the side. Against his better judgement, he asks

"What did he do?"

"Wouldn't stop nipping at my fingers. It's like he thinks they're worms or something! Really, I give him three meals a day and yet he acts like he's never had a meal in his life. If he starts begging for food or giving you the look, don't bother. I already gave him dinner. I'm not letting any son of mine get fat!"

He looks towards the rooster once more. It just stares back at him and cocks its head slightly.

"See? He's giving you the look! Laolao, you stop that! You're not getting dessert until later!"

Almost like it understood that it was being scolded, the rooster pulls its head back into the box. Alright, now Cao was absolutely sure this girl was out of her mind. If he was going to get out of this, he'd just have to lean into that and maybe she'd let him go on her own volition. So... how does he go about that?

"Ahem... Uh, aunty?"

"Yes?"

"Mom's going to get angry at us both if I don't get home soon. Like you said, dinnertime's already gone by. Can I head home?"

The girl's hands stop just as they were about to place another needle into his stomach. Her head tweaks to the side and she looks straight at him, her expression completely unknowable under her mask. How does she even see like that? Under her scrutinizing gaze, the seconds that passed felt like hours. Slowly, the girl's hand reached towards his head. Oh god, was she going to stab him? Pull out his tongue? Yank out his eye-

Her hand tousles his hair like one would do to a child.

"Oh, don't worry, little dumpling. If your mama gets angry, you can tell grandma and she'll take care of it. Your ouchies need fixing now, not later. Here, one second."

Back to her work, she pokes a needle right above his bellybutton.

"There. How do you feel?"

He blinks. For some reason, that last needle to his stomach didn't even hurt. Now that he's thinking about it, the needles had stopped hurting for a while, he just hadn't noticed. In fact... his aches and pains were all gone. It's like he hadn't gotten into a fight at all! He could feel his qi flowing through his body much more smoothly than it did before. Not even the Endless Vitality Meditations technique could do that.

"Okay, now eat this and then the needles can come out."

She shoves something into his hand while he was distracted with the changes in his body. He looks at it with scrutiny.

"Come on, you big baby, it's just one pill. Stand up and be a man about it."

Now that she mentions it, he can move his legs again. That's especially strange because he was sure one of his legs was broken in the fight. How did some jabbing of needles fix that?

"What are you waiting for, a cup of water?"

"It'd be nice."

"Don't sass me like that, young man."

Well, she probably could have killed him by now if she really wanted to. There was no need to fix up his injuries if she was just going to poison him at the final stretch. Then again... maybe that is just something her twisted mind would think up. Before he can scare himself out of it, Cao musters his courage and swallows the pill. At once he can feel its effects. If the treatment from before was like a scab over the wound, the pill had finished the job. Oh hey, even that tooth he lost is back. He's able to stand up and stretch out his body once again. As he does, his joints pop in a very pleasurable way.

"Feeling good, right? Your cousin does good work, right? Okay, now pay me."

He blinks at her a couple of times, feeling dumbfounded.

"Pay you? Why? Are you poor?"

Displeasure radiates from behind her mask. The smaller woman reaches up to one of the needles still in his shoulder and gives it a twist.

Agony. Pain. It's like hellfire in his veins.

And it's gone, the needle returned back to its previous position.

"Do not take that kind of tone with me, young man! My money situation is none of your business! Now pay your aunty for doing such a good job!"

For a moment, Cao considers just running away. He's probably much faster than her, so there's no way she'd be able to find out where he lives. That thought is shredded into dust once he sees that her hand is still on that damned needle.

"H-how much?"

"Hmph! Well, you're lucky you get the family discount! So lets see, adding the medicine used and the needles that will need to be sanitized, and the care fee and the emergency response..."

Needless to say, it was difficult to explain to his mother where he had been for so long and where so much of his money had gone.