This is the greatest spookypasta of all time

										The Colouring Book of Doom

It was Monday. I was reading the third volume of my favourite light novel, “I'm the Strongest Sage in Another World and I Got Reincarnated as a Vending Machine with a Smartphone in Another World and My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute?!”. Whilst doing that, i checked the weather. It was 66.6 degrees Fahrenheit. I immediately felt like a huge loser for using a weird measuring system. And so, i fell asleep.

Yes. It all started on a hyper realistic Tuesday. I opened my hyper realistic eyes only to find that my vision had somehow been impaired when compared to yesterday. I then remembered that i hadn't put on my glasses. After doing so, i was finally able to hyper realistically see the hyper realistic world for what it truly was. After switching on the light, i became enlightened. And then..... AND THENNNNN..... i heard a ringtone. That was really weird, as nobody had ever called me before. And yet, a hyper realistic version "Hoes Mad" was blaring right in my ears, to the point where they bled two liters of hyper realistic blood. Feeling anaemic, i answered the phone and asked but a simple question:

"WHO IS THE PHONE?!?!?!?!??!?!!"-i asked with a feeble voice
「Suzuki Mitsubi desu. I am an intern at Mojang and they asked me to deliver this package to you. I'm right outside.... please hurry or HE WILL」
"Bro........ what the fuck........................................................................bro."

I hurried to get the door and saw no man, but instead was greeted by an invitation to come to a garage sale. It was written in blood. I thought that was a glitch, so i went to the location mentioned in the letter. The salesman had a lot of stuff to sell, but he begged me, with bloodshot eyes and foaming at his mouth, to take this one box for free. He was screaming "take this, you arrogant x342" about 3 times per second, and yet kept count of how many time he had said it. He then had a seziure and hyper realistically died. I came back home, but only then did i notice what had been written on the box:

"DO NOT OPEN $#%$@ ANY CIRCUM#$#$%$%$@#" In blood. Hyper realistic blood. I immediately farted, shidded and came in my pant(singular). Before i realized it, i had a blood-covered knife in my hand. I knew what had to be done. Using my detective skills, i realized that the unintelligible words were "before" and "circumcision." And so i circumcised myself and opened the box. Inside, i saw a book enitled "Aladdin colouring book OF DOOM." I thought that was a printing error, so i ignored it and opened the book. It was actually a game and before i knew it, the VHS tape was already inside my TV's VHS player meant for gaming. I was greeted by this:

"I KNOW YOUR SECRET." In the background of the video, this seemingly all-knowing message was repeating into infinity. Before i knew it, the announcement hyper realistically covered every inch of my walls, but that was probably a glitch so i ignored it.

"YOU HAVE A MICRO..." Then my TV turned off. As i was restarting it, i thought to myself "How do they know about my microtransaction problem?" When my hyper realistic eyes, this time encapsulated by hyper realistic egg-shaped glasses, were once again on the TV i realized that it was actually a sonic game. Everything looked normal, except sonic was wearing a belt. He(?) also had humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous. Sonic was packin' some real dobonhonkeros. I mean, some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. I thought that was a glitch, so i continued playing... OR SO I THOUGHT BUT I WAS ACTUALLY INSIDE THE GAME!!!!!!!!


Since i was a 3D being in a two dimensional space, i tried to look where the screen would normally be. I saw the killer tails doll AND Jeff the killer grasping my ps4 ahegao controller WHILE Jeffette the killerette was smirking in the background. While simultaneously doing the mario and the smug dance, she said "You've met a terrible fate, haven't you?"  I thought that this was a pretty cool mechanic the developers implemented. Wait. Who made this game anyway? The invitation to the garage sale came beacause of the Mojang intern. Could it have been mojang? But what if he was only pretending to be an intern at mojang? The real question is....
"WHO WAS THE PHONE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!" I'm sorry. I lied. I was actually the  intern all along. After all, nobody would ever called a loner like me. And....

YOU'RE NEEEEEEXTXTXTXTXTX!!!!!!!!
ţ̣͈̼̬͞ḩ̠͓̰̲̠̱͡e̦̰̩̻̺ŕ̵͎͕͚͕̣̗̜̹ẹ̯͎̮͕̰͢͠'̖̹̠͎̻̞̹̩̀ͅs͔ ͖̫̣͘͞ͅṇ͖̞͜o̕҉̢͍̠̠͎̤̣ ̵͕e҉̦͚ͅs̶͉̲͘c͟҉̙͍͕a̲̰̳̗̝̥̘͘ṕ̯͉̹̼̙e̷̛͕̩̻̬̖͚͙̥ ҉̝͙̘̣͉t̼͓̠̖̲͟͠h̥̱̗̜̪͚̟͜͡é̡̺͎͔̜r̛̩͙̞͎͢e͈̯̫̹̱̼̜̦͡͡'҉̴̨̼̦s̺̜̥̩͍ ̢̥̙̦n̲͖̺̦̘͜o̴͇̟̖̼̱ ̨͚͕̣̺͘e̼͔̹̞̝͔s͍̹̻̖̝c͇̗̭̮̕͞ͅa̧͍̟̜̺̪̫̙̼̜̕p͡҉͇͇̫̤̤͘e̳̼͔͙͚̪̥͠͠ ̶̧̢̻̼̹̠t̥͕̮͓͖̥̘̀͢h̛̟̙͓̪̦̤̦̗̩͟e̛̖̲̺r̛̛̛̝̪̝̭͇̝e̶̳̼͉̤͎̭̺'̳̯͙̱̮̀͟͜ͅͅs̸̮̬̖̰̠͍̮̥͡͝ ̴̟͖̟͕̯̮̮n̢͚͓̫͈ͅͅo҉͙̼̗̺ ̷̜e̸͙͢͜s̼̣̕͝c͓̞͎̬̗a̶̝p͚̘̗͓͖̖̮̖e̵̢͏̼͈̠͔͕ ̶̨͚͓̬̳̫̦͇ͅt͏͎̖̖̜̞h̴̩̘̭̙͓̤͓̀͢e̲̱͇͇̟̲̭͞ŗ̞̳̹̫̹͔̪ę̢̹̫̠̱͇'̵̪͇̹̣ͅs̴͙̥̮̹̳̻̭̤ ̷̱̻̱̰̜̜͔͢͞n̡̼̮̜͈o̵͘͏̙̥͈̲̣͖ ̛̬̖̪̪̹̪͕̟e̷̙͠s҉̹͚̯̫ć̵̢̜̪̝̰͔̟̜a̶̩͕̠ṕ̟͜͞ę̼̣ ̵̥͕͍͎̪̜͓̲t̴̹̟̤ḥ̬̝͚͓̤͜e̳̳͙͓̠̝̖͡ͅr̘̳͖̫̤̪̲͓͢e̫̥͓͈͡ͅ'͏҉͏̻̬s͔͢ ̰̟̣́n͉͖͍̣͝͡o͞͏̙͔͓̙̕ ̸̗̖̺̹̟̮͢e̵͙̹̞̰̰̫s̵̥̟̭̖͞c̴͓̤̫a̶̵͈̝̰̱̪̹͙̹p̸̣̮̟̹͎͎͍͞͞e̸̶̺͡ ̶̡̙̭̯̱͔̝t҉̺̩̯̯̦̼͍͉h̨̩̘̹̩̙e͏̢̻͕͍̞̩͎r̯͔̞̬̬͠ͅȩ̛͎̕'̧̰̯̖s̹̣͍̠̙͓͍ ̥̤̥̯͙̱̥͍͘ͅn̼̬͇̺̘͈̦̬͉͘o̶̭ ̴̡̼͚̼͎͇̹e̟̦̜͇͍͝ş͍͈͓̩͠c̶̙a̻̥̫͟p̧͏̠͚̫̩̦̀e̠̼̟̟̺̟̭͢͜ ҉̬̠̗̀ṱ̷̲̀h̡̯͙̖̗̩̻̻̘͜e̡̥̮̺̯͉̞͙̥̙͠r̸̼̙̟̭̥̤̰̕e̜̱̠̺̼̦̣͖'͏̫͖̭̣̝̻͙̼̀s̷̝͍̲̲̞͙̥̳͝͠ ̫̝͍͎̘͘͡ņ̞̻̲̘̙͖̣͕o̴̳̥̖͓̤̬̺͞ ̙̤̬̯̲̭́͝ͅe͔̕s̩̼̫͔̥̯͘c̶̪̱̯͈̤͓̱͖à̫̞̙͕͜p̨͕̖̞̰͎̘̝̯͡e̹͎̹̤͘̕ ̫̟͇ţ̸̥̞͕̪̗͚͜ͅh̤̰͙̕é̟̭͖̹ŗ͈̤̞̕è̫̗͖̻͚̫̭͙͘͝ͅ'̮͙̬͟͠s̡͕͎ͅ ̴̠n̠̞͎̳̝̲̱̳̦o͏̴̞͓̤̦̦̪̙̹͜ ̟̤͍̻͡͝ͅe͉̙͇s͏͍c̘̳͎̖͔̕a̩̮̪͓̗̻̙ͅp͖̣̼̜̤̞̖̀̕ę̶͖̱͖͎̰̫̠͔͠ ͙͎̜t̬͟ͅh̖̖͟͢e̲͎r̸̨̲̱͈͈͎̫e͉̳͉̦̗̻͖͕'̟̱̖͍s̗̱̼̘͉̯ ̴̨̩͔̘ǹ̠͕̥̪̥͖̭ó͖̹̰̣̠͖͖ ̬̲͇͙͕̱e̺̞̬̣̟̜̘͜s̰̰̥͕̀c͏̙͈̰̝͈̥̭͟a̶͔p͏̵͔̟͖̹̘e̵͔̹͝ ͏҉̤̹͙t͈͈͖͎͜͝ẖ̨̞͓́ͅe̷̠̞͖͟r͕̙̳͝e̷̷̝̻͙̮̪͍̱̞'̤̰͉͚̘̳̤s͈͞͠ ̝̲͔̺͓̬̟n͎̘̟̞̳̗o̷͖̱͜ ̷̘̹̤̯͖͓e̼͎̘̖̹̺͝͝s̢̳̲͔̠͉͔c͏̡͇̩̞̻ḁ͇̞͇̰̝͘ṕ̡̹͍̳̤̜̩͇̻e̴͈̭̼͠ͅ ̷̰͍t̞̜͉͇̣͚͡ͅh̵̻̞͖̯̪͎́ę͇̝ͅŕ̡̹͙͔̲̭͔̱̮͟è̤̜̯̭̙̫̲͚̤͜'̷̖̟̘̳͖̩̝s͡͏̴̮͉̞̻͍̮̬ͅ ̜͎̬̦͕̭͢͢ǹ̬͎͙̟̯̹̲͔̗́o̘̮̦̘͙̰͚͙ ̴̢̦̥̠̬̖͔͈e̵̶̬s͏̥͇͔̦͓͔c̯͓͖̹̪͘͞ͅa̱p̭̙̜̗͍͖̥̝e̖̖͙̝̲͚͉͖͖ ̛̲̳́ţ͏̹̗̠̞͚͉h̷͕͡e̼̗̤͎͡͡r̷̨̮̞͉̗̦̖̙̹ͅe̲͙̥̬͚ͅ'҉̧̥s̶̺̲̣͢ ̶̶̦̼ͅn̷̰̤̦̹͠͠o̸̳̹͈̹̙̫̘ ̦̥̗̪͈͈͜e҉̵̥̣͍̮̗s̸̱͉̹͇̀c̕͜҉͈̭a̵̟̣̥͎p̴͙̮̙̣͍̝e̤̜̦̙̖̠̬͢͢ ̢͕̬̱͍̖̟̤́ṱ̢̻h͈ę̼̩́ͅr̞̣̮͘e̡̗͔̩'̺͇͚̬͚̬͙̼͇s̴̛̙̮͔̻ ̶͎̯̙̼̠̥͞n̴͏̙̩̳̞̯̣o̵̡̹̟̱̺͇͓̲̯ͅ ̢̺̟̼̺̖̱̝̕̕e̞̮̻̮͉̰̜̪ş̤͓̙ͅç̺̣̬͍̙͟á̵̟̠͈̼͚p̦͔̬̰͕ͅe̫ ̢̢̬̘̝̹̣̙t̶͇͖͔̙h͏̯̰̣̭̗͈͈̭̰̕͞ȩ͇ŗ͙͝e̛̫̦̫͓͟'̖͇̥̥̖̩̮͈̩͢s̛͉͜ ͞҉̞̪n͚̪̜̖̙̙̦͜o̙̙͢͢͝ ͏͏͇̺̙͝e̶̫̭̣͎̲̳ͅs̖̤̹̕͡͡ͅć̪͇̯̠̣̤ͅa̜̺̦̝̮͓̩̖p̢̞̣͎̤e̴̫͘͞ ̡̧̬̗͞t̪̥̙̰̰̜͝ḥ̸͎̼e̸̺͓̤͜r̷҉͏͉͓̣̻̩e͇͍̕'̷͖͚̗̻̘̬s̷̪̱̩̀͠ ̥͍n̡̝̻̬͎͎͟ǫ̷̛͍̻̣ ͔e̖͚̜ͅs̛̗̲͓̻͇̞͔͈̞͘͟c̵̢̞͓̭̥͞a̴҉͚͖̠̭͚̳͎p͖͉̰͙͇̭͢ȩ̧̱͍̙͔͚͠ ̶̰̪͔̜̦͝t̢̨̖̝͙̰̖̙͡ḩ̜̹e̤̲̳̘̹̪̣͠͠ͅŕ͔̥̲̯e̡͏̛͔̙̺̤͓͚ͅ'̢͕͇ș̵͈̬͔̤̠͢ ̡̹̳̙̠n̶̰̙o̷̵̼̤̺̝̜͠ ̵̶͎̮͍͕̖͚͘e̬̩̪͢s̴̗͍̠̤̬͟c̷̮̦̪̫͈̕a̡̛̞͉͕͈͕̞̦͟p̝͎̦͍̭̕͠ͅe҉́͏̞ ̷̴̛̠̞̣t̵̨͚̻̰̱h̴̺͚͔̤͙̭͡͠ͅe̱̱ͅṟ̱́e̷̴̜̖̺͙̦̠͢'̯̫̙͇̀s͍͙̣͕̬̦͉̬͈ ͇̟͖̕ͅn̶̰͓̹̩͉͇͢͢o̷̯̞̼͈̠̘ͅ ̸͎͇̘̻̟̥̹e̢͏͉̖̣̥̪͈̠͚̟͜s͚̠̭͚̱͝c҉̦̮̝̱̘͎̭̣a̴̼̜̭̫͈͘̕ͅp̠͎̯̝̪̮̫͞e̱ ҉҉̱t̯̟̘͓͝͡ͅh͙̱͘ḙ̸̩̰̗͢r͕̤̹͈̥͚̲̰̭͠ẹ̮͉̥̯̜'̜̜͚̬͜ş͎̦̬ ̵͕̲͙͎̪̀͢ͅn҉͕̳̣͍͇̱̙̮͞o͔̭̥̼͓͢ ̨̦͙̗͚̬̬͇e̵̡͔̦̗̤̳͖̖̣ś͇̖̙̮͟ć̷̨͕a̻͇̹̟̫͎̦̙͝p̡̤̗̯̥̮̹̦e̶͇͎̲̞̺̜̺͓ ̡̠̰̗t҉̴̶̠̺̭h̛̙͖͙̠̺e̶̩̗̠̪̳̳r͚̟̪̱̳e̝̳͇̤̳'͏̸̯͙s̨̹͍̰ ̪̖́͞n̹̹̰̠͇̦̻o̠͓