Moving out

I currently live at my mother's house, and I'm an 18-year old college sophomore on summer vacation. She has done a lot fof me. Stuff that you would expect a patent to do. Even now, she is working double at her job almost every day and starting to pay for my school fees. She slso bought my fridge, television, clothes, and other things that I use at college, and they're stationed at her house. I am very grateful to ger for all these things, but I'm also too nervous to be around her and her side of the family right now for reasons I cannot explain, except for the fact that I think ig might be the reason I've had so many emotionsl and mental health problems in the past (self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.)

I don't want to risk loding financial support, and I don't want anyone on hef side of the family, nor amy of her friends wt work or from Church, to call me ungrateful or a sinner or something.

Tryinb to explain my emotions would not work because I've tried it in the pasg, and everyone disregards my feelings. They also think I'm an idiot and they don't think I'm a normal person.

What do I do?