Dear <alias>, you are Homestuck.

Because you are Homestuck, you get 32 abilities- one for each Sburb/Sgrub player, both post- and pre-scratch. All of them can only be used once and must be activated on a given night to take effect.

To use John's power, PM me "Do the windy thing with ALIAS." ALIAS's actions will fail, as will any actions that were targeting ALIAS.

To use Rose's power, PM me

To use Dave's power, PM me "Mess with ((PAST/FUTURE)) ALIAS via time travel." If you pick PAST, ALIAS's actions will have the lowest priority in the game that night. If you pick FUTURE, ALIAS's actions will have the highest priority in the game that night besides this role.

To use Jade's power, PM me "Shrink ALIAS1 near ALIAS2." ALIAS1 will be too small to use their actions, but also too small to be targeted- so any actions that would have targeted them will instead target ALIAS2.

To use Jane's power, PM me "Heal ALIAS." You can target dead players with this ability. At the end of the next day, ALIAS will be returned to life if they are dead, and all negative afflictions on them will be removed. You cannot target yourself with this ability.

To use Roxy's power, PM me "Drink away your sorrows(like ALIAS...). You will cure any negative afflictions on yourself. Additionally, ALIAS's actions will fail if they target you.

To use Dirk's power, PM me “Rip out ALIAS’s soul.” ALIAS will die, but their alias will remain in the game(inspects will return no result) as a purposeless NPC.

To use Jake’s power, PM me “Believe in ALIAS.” ALIAS’s actions will all succeed, and they cannot die or gain any negative afflictions. You cannot target yourself with this ability.

To use Karkat’s power, PM me “Shout at <insert list of aliases here>.” All aliases on the list will be informed that you shouted at them. Yes, this role sucks, but you have 31 others.

To use Gamzee’s power, PM me “Rage at ALIAS.” ALIAS will die and so will everyone they targeted that night.

To use Terezi’s power, PM me “Appoint ALIAS as the judge.” ALIAS is the only one who determines the lynch the next day. You cannot use this ability on yourself.

To use Sollux’s power, PM me “Hack into ALIAS1 and ALIAS2’s computers.” You will learn the role PM of ALIAS1 and ALIAS2.

To use Tavros’s power, PM me

To use Aradia’s power, PM me

To use Nepeta’s power, PM me

To use Vriska’s power, PM me “Roll for ALIAS’s demise.” You will roleblock ALIAS eight times, then inspect them eight times, then steal from them eight times, then track them eight times, then watch them eight times, then kill them eight times, then convert them eight times, then omniguard them eight times. Roles that hook or redirect can only redirect one of each of the roles used. If this role successfully allows you to convert someone, you cannot target them with any actions you could not target yourself with.

To use Equius’s power, PM me “Break ALIAS.” ALIAS will die. This cannot be protected against. If this kill breaks a DPV or BPV instead of actually killing them, you will kill them again until they run out of vests.

To use Kanaya’s power, PM me “Prepare coffin.” If you die that night, your role won’t be revealed and you will revive at the start of the next night and regain the use of the last ability you used except for this one. This revival won’t trigger if you kill yourself.

To use Eridan’s power, PM me

To use Feferi’s power, PM me “Shield ALIAS.” ALIAS cannot die that night, or during the next day’s lynch.

To use Kankri’s power, PM me “Lecture ALIAS.” You will lecture alias, and it will be so tremendously boring that they will target themselves with all of their actions in hopes that one of them will let them escape.

To use Kurloz’s power, PM me “Unleash the vast HONK.” Anyone who targets you or anyone you target that night will have their action fail, except you.

To use Latula’s power, PM me “Show ALIAS1, ALIAS2, and ALIAS3 a radical stunt.” They will all be too busy watching your stunt to perform any actions.

To use Mituna’s power, PM me

To use Rufioh’s power, PM me

To use Damara’s power, PM me “Speak foreignly.” You will inspect as village to any investigative roles, you will not appear to watchers, and any trackers who attempt to target you will be hooked.

To use Meulin’s power, PM me

To use Aranea’s power, PM me “Give ALIAS1 exposition about ALIAS2, ALIAS3, ALIAS4, ALIAS5, and ALIAS6.” ALIAS1 will receive the role pms of the other five aliases.

To use Horuss’s power, PM me “Make a robot for ALIAS named NAME.” You will create an NPC with the alias of NAME, whose vote counts as four and always votes for ALIAS.

To use Porrim’s power, PM me

To use Cronus’s power, PM me

To use Meenah’s power, PM me “MONEY MONEY MONEY!” You will receive every item that changed hands that night or the previous day.

Because you represent an entire universe, you cannot be converted.