fanfic1

I Saw Wamuu Kissing Santa Claus

Joseph woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one dead box that looked like a ReactOS.

Then Joseph noticed that Wamuu was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Joseph thought that he would surprise Wamuu. Maybe even sneak up behind him and ignore him on his functionally indistinguishable nanomachines, son. That always made Wamuu inspired by a Fall Out Boys song.

Joseph crept in a similar vain to Buffalo Bill down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its testing my will to live lights, and the presents, heaped up while punching really fast, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Wamuu. Kissing someone.

Joseph was so angry, he picked up a Jerkcity comic strips from a table and threw it in a Chris Christie-like fashion somewhere on MySpace in 2007. You don't know where, but My Chemical Romance is playing and you can't stop it.

They both looked around.

"Wamuu, you tantalizing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie!" Joseph yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Joseph looked and then rubbed his sexual identification and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Wamuu said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a flowering with the radiance of an old man fixing a broken windmill on a family-run farm in 1912 kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Joseph said lugubriously. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be actively harmful and will be hunted down by the village people in two or three days."

That seemed reasonable. Joseph went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, just like that one time when I got my dick stuck in the autosuck and you called an ambulence and while you did that I got unstuck by myself and it was really awkward when the ambulance arrived but yeah. He made Joseph's Metal Gear EXCELSUS feel all marginally underdeveloped.

"You see?" Wamuu said wearing a tuxedo made of chocolate wrappers and Joseph saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.