John/Vriska Vriska/Tavros Blowjobs aplenty 80%

		Vriska swallowed, John's bitter seed rolling down her throat into her alien gullet. "Holy shit, Vriska," he said as her cerulean lips slid up his impressive mangrit, gliding over the head with a slight smack.

	"Did I do it?" She asked, looking up at John innocently, in contrast to what she had just finished doing.

	"Well I don't see any cuts or blood, do you?" he asked. Vriska shook her head. "Well then, guess who just gave a blowjob without filleting their partner's dick?"

	Vriska grinned like she had just won the lottery."Yes! Finally!" she said, standing up. She planted a wet kiss on John's lips, quick, but passionate. Before John could react, she had already pulled away and half-ran, half-walked to the door.

	"Wait Vriska, where are you going?" he asked lamely.

	"A talent like this--" she tilted her head, letting the light hit her glasses just so, so they appeared to glow, "--needs to be shared with the world," she said as she opened and closed the door behind her.

	"Oh god damn it," John said, his penis still throbbing with arousal. He sat on the ground, pants around his ankles and began to busy himself with the arduous task of manipulating a dong that was still in the throes of a post-coital refractory period.

	Meanwhile, Vriska walked down the street, running through her mental Rolodex of people to show her newfound ability to. Feferi, Eridan and Gamzee would probably be at the beach, where she was banned for flashing the lifeguard that one time, which was stupid because he was totally asking for it with the way he was totally staring at her ass, fucking pervert. Equius was a definite maybe, but not high on the list, for obvious reasons. Terezi was too busy being worn like a hat by Dave, Kanaya the same for Rose, Nepeta would find a way to "inadvertently" kill the mood like always, Sollux had no sex drive, but Tavros...

	"Yes, Tavros would be perfect" she said under her breath, as she adjusted her course. She pulled out her PDA and typed out a message to the troll.

	arachnidsGrip (AG) began trolling adiosToreador
	AG: Hey, Taaaaaaaavros!
	AT: uGH, vRISKA, wHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT THIS TIME,
	AG: Wow, rude! If I didn't know 8etter, I'd say you didn't like me anymore.
	AT: i DON'T, REMEMBER,
	AG: Can't say I do, perhaps you're remem8ering wrong.
	AT: ♏oF COURSE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING, WE ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, SILLY ME,♏
	AT: sIGH, JUST GET ON WITH IT
	AG: I'm coming over to your place. Tell everyone to meet us there.
	arachnigdsGrip (AG) ceased trolling adiosToreador
	AT: wAIT,
	AT: fUCK,

	Less than ten minutes later, Vriska knocked on Tavros' door, and waited. And waited. After five minutes, she yelled. "Tavros if you don't get your shiny metal ass out here right now, I will make you get out!"

	The door opened begrudgingly. Tavros looked like a man about to face his executioner, eyes silently begging Vriska to just turn around and leave him alone. "Don't act like that, I think you'll like what I have in store," she said placatingly.

	"No I won't," He said. "They'll be a while, maybe you could, I don't know, go?"

	"Nah," Vriska said, barging in the apartment. "Come on, it'll be fun. Want some tea?" she continued as she made her way to the kitchen. She ransacked the cupboards looking for teabags. "No wonder you're such a loser when it comes to girls, you can't even cook!" Boxes of one-skillet pasta dishes hit the floor. "Ah, there we go. It's lemon, but it'll do." She grabbed a pot from the sink, filled it and put it on the stove before walking back into the main room where Tavros stared into space. Vriska could hear a sniffling noise, and surprisingly, it wasn't coming from Tavros.

	"There's hair everywhere, did you get another dog?" Vriska asked.

	"Uh," Tavros answered.

	"Is it a puppy?"

	"Nuh,"

	"What's it's name?"

	"...," Tavros hesitated. "J-Jade."

	"Oh. My. God. Tavros, that's hilariously pathetic! How do you even look at yourself in the mirror without killing yourself!?"

	He shifted his body, letting his hand dangle freely off of the futon, where a blue muzzle sniffed and started licking it. Slowly, he brought his hand up into his lap, where the muzzle followed, revealing the dog's head, torso and front legs. Jade raised up, placing her front paws on the futon, revealing her wheels for rear legs. Vriska fell over laughing.

	"My fucking sides! The cripple has a cripple dog! I can't breathe!" More sniffling sounds, this time from Tavros. "Hey, hey. Stop crying," Vriska said.

	He continued. "Hey. Stop it. You know I didn't mean it."

	Her request fell on deaf ears. "Stop being a little bitch, Tavros!" she yelled, manipul8ing him to suck it up. Vriska started to move towards the futon, but Jade went on alert. Her fur bristling, she blocked Vriska's path. Jade growled. "Get out of my way, bitch," Vriska said, kicking at her. Jade nipped at her jeans, grabbing on. "Fuck, Fuck! Let go you little anklebiter!"

	Tavros couldn't help but giggle as his tormentor stumbled around, her poise and balance thrown off by a small dog. "Call her off, Tavros!"

	"Nah," Tavros said, laughing louder as Vriska tried to focus enough to manipul8 him.

	"Please," said Vriska. Tavros paused.

	"I'm begging you."

	"A-Alright," He said. "But you have to promise not to make fun of me anymore."

	"Fine, just stop her!"

	Tavros whistled once, long and low. Immediately, Jade dropped Vriska's pants leg, sat and panted. It was like she had forgotten entirely why she had attacked Vriska. Jade looked her in the eyes, tail wagging.

	"Can I sit down?"

	"Sure."

	She did. Jade jumped on her lap and curled up. "Look, I'm sorry I'm such a bitch, it's just that-"

	"You can't help it, I know. You said that before. I get it."

	"But I-"

	"Stop trying to apologize, it doesn't suit you."

	The pair sat in silence for a while until Vriska stood up suddenly, dumping Jade on the ground. "Oh shit, the water!" She charged into the kitchen for a few moments, before popping out with two mismatched cups, steam slowly rising from them. "Here," she said, giving Tavros a cup before sitting down beside him. Tavros took a small sip of the tea.

	They made smalltalk, a rare occurrence for the duo. Tavros told Vriska about how he had found Jade in an animal shelter (she was actually named that by the shelter, interestingly enough), Vriska told Tavros about living with John (humans are so organized). Meanwhile, Jade had found a pair of socks and busied herself with destroying them entirely.

	Knock knock.

	Vriska looked at the door. "Oh right," she said. "Tavros, could you take off your pants?"

	His hand had made it halfway to his pants before he stopped. "Uh, what?"

	"Your pants. Take them off."

	"No!"

	"Fine, be that way," she said, manipul8ing him to remove the offending garment. "Just relax," She traced a finger gently along the smooth alloy that made up his legs. "Tell me, when Equius made your legs, did he give you any *ahem* extras?" That was a stupid question. Tavros knew Vriska knew about his augmentation. Vriska betrayed her apparent innocence by hitting the release button placed in between the retracted robodick and his metallic asshole.

	The machinery inside clicked and whirred as the mechanized phallus erected itself to its full size. "My, aren't we a big boy?" Vriska said.