Tnetenba

>Day Tnetennba  in Equestria.
>You do your daily routine, skipping over the well practiced parts.
>Who really wants to read about you taking a shit, showering and shaving?
>...
>Piss.
>Whatever.
>You get downstairs to have your breakfast.
>You finish eating your Pinkie Sugar Bits (guaranteed to get you hyper or jrliajildjfldkajleijrmda) when there’s a knock at the door.
>Yeah, you know who that is.
>You open the door to reveal Fluttershy, smiling sweetly at you.
>”Good morning, Anon! How are you today?”
>Well, she’s being awfully civil today.
>And she’s not dressed in any fetish gear.
>This is most unusual.
>You might as well play along. Maybe she’s finally learned her lesson!
“Uh, I’m ok, Flutters. Look, do you just want to get your fetish attempt out of the way?”
>”But Anon, this is already a fetish attempt.”
>What?
>You look her over once more.
>She just stands there, smiling placidly at you.
“Uh... Could you give me a hint or an example...?”
>”Oh, okay! Good morning, Anon! How are you today?”
>That’s Fluttershy for you.
>Dumb as a wet sack of hammers.
>And she looks like one too.
>This time you bend over, getting a good look at her from up close.
“Hmm... WHAT?!”
>You feel something poke you in the anus.
>You whirl around to see Pink ADHD standing behind you, wearing the severed head of a horse, a ritual robe and holding a rubber phallus dangerously close to where you poop from.
>Or it could just be her in a horse mask, snuggie, waving a rubber chicken.
>That’s kinda what she does.
>Either way, you’ve seen enough of this to know that you don’t like it.
>Using your powers of NOPE you start to eat yourself.
http://youtu.be/8_ZfZjIkA2c
>Starting at your feet, you munch up your body.
>You paradoxically get smaller and smaller until you’re little more than a mouth.
>You finally eat your own mouth and disappear from the universe with a –blip-.
>Victorious and weightless, you float in the void between universes, proud in the knowledge that you’ve successfully avoided
>Fucking Fluttershy.

For added hilarity, I invite you to read the story in the way that I wrote it - in WALKENVISION. Simply read the lines in Christopher Walken's voice, and everything becomes 3x funnier! I've got a fever, and the only cure is more >rape!