Funny Face (Challenge No.08 winner)

RevMe, January 3, 2013; 01:07 / FB 7908
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FUNNY FACE

> You're a fluffy pony!
> And your daddy even says you're a pretty clever fella!
> Silly daddy!
> Your name is Sparks!
> Your daddy loves you, but he doesn't like one thing that you do.
> He doesn't seem to understand that you know where there's special yummy salty nummies!
> It's...
> Get ready for this....
> IN YOUR NOSIE ALL THIS TIME!
> Daddy thinks this is disgusting.
> You're not sure what this means, but you know it's bad.
> But how could something so good be bad?
> Still... you want to be a good fluffy.
> Daddy said it's something called the "noo yeer"
> And that people make... resoolooshuns at the noo yeer.
> Daddy says it's a promise to yourself to do something or not do something.
> That's silly, making a promise to yourself.
> But Daddy said he was gonna try to stop the paper sticky things from going all burny in his mouth.
> And he said you should resoolooshuns to stop eating your nosie candy!
> ...
> You don't get why you'd make that promise to yourself, but Daddy wants you to so you will.
> It's hard going though.
> Your tongue can get right up in there!
> "Daddeh.... how Spawks nu eat nosie candy?"
> "Well, whenever you think about it, try thinking of something else."
> "...o...tay?"
> And then you thought of the nosie candy!
> But... oh, oh... there's your toy bear!
> But.... BUT BEARY HAS A NOSIE!!
> NUUUUUUUUU!!
> "Daddeh!! Nu wok!! Beawy hab nosie! Wan nosie candy!!"
> "Another thing you can do is try to make it difficult to get to. I've thrown my cigarettes on top of the refrigerator where I can't reach!"
> "...o...o...tay...."
> You toddle off to your saferoom to give this some more thought.
> Stupid nosie!
> If it weren't there, you wouldn't have to worry about it!
> Wait...
> If your nosie weren't there...
> You got it!
> You sit back on your poopie place and put your head down and grab your nosie with your hoofsies!
> And you pull....
> And you pull....
> And you pull....
> And it pops right off!
> Yaaaay!
> You're about to go hide it, when you look in the mirror.
> "NUUU!! MUNSTA!! NUUU.... waaait... dat Spawks! Siwwy Spawks! But Spawks wook wike munsta wit nu nosie..."
> You think...
> And you think....
> And you think...
> and you get an idea!
> Your weggies look kinda like nosies!
> So you grab one of your front weggies with your mouth and pull...
> And pull....
> And pull...
> And it pops right off!
> You put it down on the floor and push your face into it, and it pops right in place!
> You look up in the mirror...
> Dashing!
> So now, you need a weggie... and if a weggie looks like a nosie, then a nosie must look like a weggie!
> So you push your nosie up, and push down with the spot where the weggie was, and it too clicks right into place!
> Yaaaay!
> Time to play ball!
> Or maybe blockies!
> You waddle over to your toybox...
> ...but it's slow going.
> Your new nosie-weggie is a bit too short...
> AND it keeps leaking boo-boo juice on the floor!
> This is no good at all...
> So you pull your weggie-nosie back off and your nosie-weggie back off, and put the weggie back so it's a weggie-weggie again!
> But that's still no good...
> And ALL THIS ABOUT NOSIES IS MAKING YOU WANT CANDY AGAIN!
> NUUUUUUUUU!!!
> You better think of a plan and fast!
> You don't know how long you can hold out!
> You're not strong like Daddy!
> Daddy....
> Waaait...
> Daddy has weird fluff on his face...
> He calls it a mus-dash!
> It kinda looks like a tail!
> THAT'S IT!
> So you set your nosie down again and start pulling on your tail...
> It's harder going.
> You've got to roll yourself up like a ball the best you can.
> Hee!
> Balls are fun!
> No!
> Focus!
> You grab your tail and you pull...
> ...and you pull....
> and you pulll....
> And it finally pops off! Yaaay!
> You put it in where your nosie was.
> It tickles a bit, but when you look in the mirror, you think there's another fluffy there who looks very dapper.
> Then you realize that fluffy is you!
> Then you realize that you don't know what dapper means.
> But it sure seems to fit.
> So, with that... you figure that with your nosie as your new tail, you won't even be able to REACH the nosie candy anyway!
> So you set up the nosie and sit on it!
> It pops back into place...
> ....except....
> You sniff.
> And you sniff.
> NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
> ALL YOU CAN SMELL IS POOPIES!!!!!!!!!
> NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
> NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
> You scramble as best you can to pull off your nosie-tail.
> It's very difficult as it's even shorter than your tail-tail was.
> But you gotta get rid of the poopie smell!
> It's SOOOOOO not pretty!
> By some stroke of luck, you get a grasp on your nosie-tail and pull it off.
> You also pull off your tail-nosie, and put that back.
> Bye bye, dapper Sparks.
> But it's worth it to not smell poopies.
> But you're still with the trouble of the nosie.
> At least right now you're almost sickies from the bad poopies smell.
> So you have no desire to eat anything, let alone the good nosie candy.
> You look around your saferoom to see if you can figure something out.
> You...
> YOU GOT IT!
> You find an old cup and ball set and you put the cup where your nosie was.
> PERFECT!
> You come out of the saferoom to show Daddy how good you are!
> You're carrying your old nosie in your mouth, but with the candy-holes away so he doesn't think you're breaking your resoolooshun promise to yourself!
> That's what a bad fluffy would do!
> And you're a good fluffy!
> You try so hard!
> You spit out your nosie at Daddy's feet.
> "Daddeh put Spawks nosie wit burny paper stickies on top of fwigidata?"
> Your daddy looks at you.
> You look at him.
> "Whu? Spawks duu wat daddeh say an make nosie candy hawd tu get tuu! Spawks guu fwuffy! Spawks duu wesoowooshuwn!"
> "Uh... yes. That is good. But... you know what? If it was this hard for you, maybe you should be able to eat the candy. Just don't do it while I watch, OK?"
> "OTAY! Spawks hab nosie back den?"
> "....sure."
> You pull off the cup and pop your old nosie back in place!
> Nuu yeer is a fun time but it sure is strange!